• Published 23rd Mar 2020
  • 440 Views, 14 Comments

Derpy Can't Breathe Good - darf

Derpy is having trouble breathing, so she goes to the doctor to get some help. Afterwards, she has a hard time adjusting to the changes in her life. Based on a true story.

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Chapter 3hree

That day Derpy had gone home from the hospital with a piece of paper with some stuff written on it and signed by the doctor she had met before, or maybe a different doctor. Derpy couldn't read any of the words on the paper, but the nurse pony who had given it to her had told her one of the names was a something-something-'ixol' and the other one was a something-something-'ion'. Derpy knew she hadn't said that exactly, but it was the best she could understand, and she felt tired and lonely and wanted to go home and didn't feel like she was brave enough to ask the nurse pony to explain more. So she had just taken the piece of paper and left, because the nurse pony had said to go to the pharmacy, and Derpy at least knew where that was, because before sometimes she had to go there to get medicine for her grandma. Who she missed, now.

One thing that confused Derpy was that when she had gone to the pharmacy, and given the piece of paper with the writing and the signature on it to the pony behind the 'PLEASE STAND HERE FOR PRESCRIPTION DROP OFF' counter pony, the pony behind the counter had looked at, clicked their tongue, looked back up at her, and said Is this for short or fast-release?

And Derpy had said, um?

And the pony behind the counter had said, Also, does he mean //something-something//-etamol? Because that's not covered by your insurance. Probably.

Um, Derpy had said.

It was very hard not to cry.

The pony behind the counter had shaken their head.

Let me just fill in for a brand equivalent. You'll have to take two and a half at night instead of one. The behind the counter pony took a piece of paper, wrote the word 'COUNSEL' on it in large blue letters, then circled it twice. She handed it to another pony behind the counter, who took it, and then went off to somewhere Derpy couldn't see, which was behind a bunch of large white shelves and more bottles than Derpy could count.

Fifteen minutes, the behind the counter pony had said. Next!

Oh. Okay, Derpy had said. And she left the line, then came back because she had forgotten her small bag of groceries and her stuffie Mr. Octo-Pie, and then she had gone to the other line and stood it in and waited one minute and got to see another, different pony behind the counter, who had asked her name, and when she said Derpy, made a funny face at her and said You just handed it in, hun. Come back in about fifteen minutes. And Derpy had said Oh, okay, and left the line quickly and gone to look at protein supplements and what were those and why did she need them. Maybe she didn't. She figured out after fifteen minutes that they were good for ponies who were trying to make lots of muscle or get very big. So Derpy left them on the shelf and didn't put and in her bag that she brought with her for groceries.

When she went back to get her prescription, the pony behind the counter made her wait until a pharmacist was available to talk to her.

Hello, he said. He had a beard and some small glasses and a name-tag that said WIND-STAFF on his white coat.

Wind-Staff? Derpy had said.

It's Wind-staff, actually. Wind-Staff gestured to a pin on his coat, with a staff made out of coiled snakes.

Oh. I get it.

Mhmm. So this is your first time using a respiratory inhaler?

Um... I think so.

Well, here's the device—he held out a tiny blue tube that looked like a toy submarine, or maybe a big piece of toy construction block she had played with as a filly. To use it, you shake it gently for several seconds—he gripped the blue thing inbetween his hooves and shook it around a bit. Then you remove the cap—it made a smallpop—place the designated end in your mouth, press down on the insert capsule—make sure to open your mouth wide, you want to avoid spraying it onto your tongue—then inhale once you've released the steroid mist. You should feel an immediate relief, followed by a de-inflammation of your lungs, which will help mitigate the asthma on a more continuous basis.



Derpy held out her hooves, and the pony behind the counter dropped the blue thingy into them.

These pills are much more straightforward. They come in a sealed blister pack, and you're not to use more than one each night. See, they're labelled for each day of the week—

Like a mail schedule!

—yes, I suppose. So each night, right before you're about to go to bed, you pop these out of their blister pack and swallow them with a glass of water. Does that make sense?

I think so. Derpy looked at the container of pills with an eyebrow raised. Those are supposed to help me breathe better?

No, no... these are to help you sleep, and also to, uh... be more focused, when you're awake.

I didn't know I needed help to sleep. Derpy's inner eye took a sharp ninety degree turn, to the heap of her blankets wrapped around her legs as she turned and spun in a cold, muggy sweat, somehow unable to think about anything but getting up the next day for work. Somehow unable to turn off her brain, her eyes, or any part of her body, all which said GET UP, IT'S TIME TO DO STUFF, except for one tiny fragment left inside, maybe her chest, screaming as hard as it could, but so meekly in comparison, please let us go to sleep. She was very tired after that, for a few days.

Okay, she said. She kept her hooves outstretched, and the pony behind the counter lifted up the pill-package and placed it into her hooves. After making sure she had both the items in question, Derpy slid them into her bag, where they settled near the bottom next to Mr. Octo-Pie (who was hanging along the side with one of his tentacles stretched over the rim of the bag. He liked to do that when he came along). Derpy smiled at the pony behind the counter.

Thank you, she said.

Not a problem, the pony behind the counter had said. Please call us if you have any further questions. If you notice any light-headedness or persistent negative thought patterns, please call your doctor immediately.

Derpy wondered how she could have a light in her head. Or how her head could be lighter than the rest of her. Sort of like why it had felt her head was flying when she'd fallen, while the rest of her was a big bag of oatmeal headed hard in a downward direction.

Thank you, she said again.

The pony had gone off somewhere, busy with something else.

Derpy bought a carton of milk and a box of cereal before she left. She also bought lettuce and strawberries and a salad dressing that said 'fusion' on it. That was to eat healthy with later.

When she got home, she had a bowl of cereal. It tasted pretty good.