• Published 4th Dec 2019
  • 5,026 Views, 266 Comments

The Trixie Clause - TCC56

Whomever kills The Great And Powerful becomes The Great And Powerful. Hat, cape and talking in the third person are mandatory. On a related note, Twilight Sparkle is having a very bad week.

  • ...


Another burst of fireworks went off, and the crowd roared as the curtain dropped. Nopony could deny it: the Castle of Friendship was gone.

The Great and Powerful Trixie took a bow and tried not to look too smug. (She needed to have just the right amount of smug for this.)

They said she couldn't do it - so she had to have done it. Because she was Trixie, and they were not.

"Now!" She waved a hoof in the air. "If my helper from the previous trick would please return to the stage?" She beckoned at Mr. Waddle to bring him back up. "Sir, if The Great and Powerful Trixie remembers correctly - and she does," she noted with a wink to the crowd, "Your card from before was the Nine of Clubs. If you would take it out of your pocket, please?"

Mr. Waddle did so slowly - frustratingly slowly enough that Trixie made a note to next time get a helper under the age of ninety - but when he looked at it? The gasp made it all worthwhile. In shock, he turned the card to show the audience - the Nine of Clubs had instead become an image of the crystalline Castle of Friendship. More gasping and applause rolled over the stage and made Trixie's spirits soar.

Trixie pouted outwardly. "Well that's not right. Your card was a Club and that's a Diamond!" She gave a pause for laughter before snatching the card in her magic. "Trixie should probably put it back, though. Princess Twilight might get mad at me for stealing her house, and she still has Trixie on probation from the last time Trixie one-upped her." There was more laughter - and a Twilight in the front row that was flush both with embarrassment and annoyance. Which made Trixie even happier.

Twirling the card around in the air, Trixie made it dance to and fro. Starlight pulled the curtain that hid the Castle's usual place in town from the audience back up in preparation. "And now! Trixie shall return the Castle to where it belongs! For she is..." She dramatically paused before tapping the playing card with the tip of her horn. It flipped again in the air - showing the Nine of Clubs once more. The curtain dropped, and the Castle of Friendship was back where it belonged again.


The crowd exploded. Even Twilight - who had been trying to play the skeptic - was clapping and cheering. This was turning into one of Trixie's best shows and they hadn't even hit the climax yet.

Speaking of...

Trixie took her bow and waved both Starlight and Mr. Waddle off the stage. "And for my grand finale! While you have been dazzled by disappearances, re-appearances and feats of the mind - it would not be a show from The Great and Powerful Trixie if she did not demonstrate for one and all her mastery over the greatest force of them all! Death itself!"

As the crowd murmured in anticipation, Starlight continued to play her role as assistant and wheeled out the contraption. It was overcomplex, sharp in all the wrong places and radiated a vague menace just by existing. It was entirely over the top and had too many moving parts to be useful for anything, and that's why it was perfect.

Trixie waved at the machine, stepping around it. "Behold! The Crushtastic Puncturenator 7000 Deluxe by FlimFlamCo! A single devastating machine intended for use by griffins to reduce their food sources to a goo for easy digestion by chicks!" She motioned in turn to the massive spiked paddles; to the overhead crushing plate; to the ominous manacles inside. "Trixie shall be strapped into the foul machine, chained in place and helpless! And then The Great and Powerful Trixie shall make her escape in the nick of time before it renders her into a fine pony paste!"

Starlight came forward again, locking Trixie into the machine's restraints and slipping a restraining ring onto her horn. "But we must make sure this is truly as dangerous as it seems - let Princess Twilight Sparkle come to the stage!"

In the crowd, Twilight blinked owlishly.

"Come now, Princess. Trixie knows you aren't shy. Princess Celestia taught you how to handle crowds, didn't she?" Trixie tipped her head forward. "Wiiiiink."

A suddenly grumpier Twilight climbed up to the stage and did her rounds inspecting the machine.

Trixie continued her patter. "Once the Princess has verified all of my restraints and the anti-magic ring is around my horn, Trixie shall have her begin the countdown. She's earned that, since Trixie did steal her castle a few minutes ago." She winked again, and the crowd ate it up. "Once the countdown is started, Trixie shall have sixty seconds to escape from the Crushtastic Punctureator 7000 Deluxe before it punctures and crushes her. With no magic, all four limbs immobilized and in full view of you, Trixie's beloved audience!"

The Princess stepped back as the crowd applauded. "The restraints are secure," she confirmed. And at Starlight's indications, she moved to beside an ominously large red button. "Trixie, are you sure about this?"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is prepared for anything! The button if you would, Princess!"

Twilight shook her head at the pointless drama - and tapped the button with her hoof. There was a loud CLUNK as the countdown engaged, demonstrated by a bright red readout.


Inside the machine, Trixie struggled. Her body squirmed back and forth, each movement just a tiny bit further as she slowly wormed herself free.


Twilight bit her lip as she watched from beside the machine. Was it supposed to look like Trixie was failing? Because it sure didn't look like she was getting anywhere.


Trixie grunted with effort as she tried to pull one of her forehooves free. It didn't budge.


At this range, Twilight could see a droplet of sweat running down the side of Trixie's face. There was a scent in the air - adrenaline. And panic. Twilight pushed it down, though. This was Trixie. Trixie knew what she was doing. She had this under control.


The anti-magic restraining ring on Trixie's horn sparked slightly, making the magician yelp in pain. There would be no casting, no matter how much she wanted.


All four limb restraints were still solidly on. Twilight looked between the clock and Trixie. She shouldn't interfere, right? Right?


Trixie stopped struggling. She let out a long, slow breath. An uncharacteristic calm passed over her as her entire body relaxed.


Pale violet eyes turned to look at Twilight, full of regrets. A tiny smirk touched Trixie's lips. "Sorry," was all she said.


The spike-covered paddles of the Crushtastic Puncturenator 7000 Deluxe slammed against the board Trixie was strapped to. The heavy crushing plate fell from above.

Twilight Sparkle held very, very still as Trixie... a detatched part of her mind analyzed that 'splashed' would be the most correct verb for the action that happened next. The rest of her mind was screaming in terror, just like the rest of the crowd. Starlight was wailing as her magic ripped apart the machine to free what seconds before had been her best friend.

In it all, incongruously, Trixie's hat hand been flung clear. In the evening air it wafted above, slowly descending to land atop Twilight's traumatized head.

Author's Note:

Story Tone Meter


Dark Like Fresh Coffee