• Published 20th Nov 2019
  • 519 Views, 56 Comments

Unpleasant Correspondence 2 - StormLuna

Everything has come full circle and now it is Twilight who sends her protege to Ponyville. Needless to say, Luster isn't one bit happy about it.

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Race of the Proteges

Dear Twibitch,

Well an annual event that I found rather stupid came up, the Running of the Leaves. Now normally I wouldn't be the slightest bit interested in something so stupid but when I heard ponies talking about how you won it one time, I figured I'd take part in this and try and win it as well. You know what is ridiculous, ponies have to run to knock the leaves off the trees! Can't they just do it like they do in other countries and let them fall off on their own or at least use magic to remove them like we did up in Canterlot.

Anyway, about this race. The fucking thing sucked because I was horrible. I finished dead last and these two old farts by the name of Crash and Applejack I think, well they finished up at the close of the front of the pack but you know what pisses me off? What fucking pisses me off is that Bright Beam not only won the race but she broke the damn record. Why is it that she must always be so much better than me at everything? I almost wonder if Starbitch didn't cast a spell on her to give her extra speed for this event and YOU did something to slow me down because I should have finished first.

To make matters worse, I tried to initiate Bunny Girl afterwards but she told me "sorry but I don't fuck losers" and then proceeded to throw herself out to Bright Beam. Now I know something is seriously wrong with Bright Beam because she told Bunny Girl that she won't put out unless she is in a deeply committed relationship. What kind of fucking loser thinks like that? Hell if Bunny Girl threw herself out to me I'd fuck her in a heartbeat. Chances are Bright Beam is trying to be little miss priss and make everypony love her more than they already do and make it look like she has morals....ugh, now that is pathetic!

What a horrible day it was, I lost a race and was shot down by Bunny Girl. I want to know something, what the fuck would you do when you had days like this? Are there any ponies down here that will put out at the drop of a hat? Are there any ponies that will accept me no matter what, regardless of how much most of the town hates me?

Hating Losing Races,

Luster Dawn

To My Whiny Little Protege,

Ugh, is this all you're going to do, whine, whine, whine? I don't know if you took part in the Running of the Leaves solely so you could bitch to me about it or because you thought you had a snowball's chance in hell of actually winning it. Well one thing is for sure, you're nothing like me. The first year I was down there, I won the race and got a nice, shiny gold medal out of it. Starlight and I were spying from our balcony and it looks Bright Beam got the same thing, a nice shiny medal but she also got a trophy for setting a new record. Now that right there is proof that us unicorns are better than the other two tribes....well most unicorns. You however, you are a disgrace to unicorns everywhere and given that at one time Starlight and I were unicorns (and thus still carry unicorn genetics), I feel that we can take the liberty to classify ourselves as such.

Now listen to me and listen to me good, don't even bother trying to run the race in the future. You don't have the leg muscle nor do you have the stamina to run such a race. Hell next time volunteer to be the time keeper, well if you have the brains to do so, or perhaps just avoid the activity entirely. Now regarding Bunny Girl shooting you down, that doesn't surprise me. PETA Girl shot me down and I won the fucking race for pony's sake!

Now about who will buck you. Now I know they're getting old but go check at the spa. The spa twins put out for me all the time. Now I do spy on Ponyville from my balcony so I can see you being miserable and I do have some good news! The spa twins are training a couple of hot replacements since they are nearing retirement. If they are like most spa hotties, they'll put out for you and love you when nopony else will. Hey I was the most hated pony in town and they constantly put out for me. Just don't bitch about your problems to them, give them tender horn sex and you'll have a couple guaranteed bootie-calls! Now I must get going because Starlight and I are having a cake delivered to us and that is far more important than putting up with you further.

Disappointed in You Again,

Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle

Dear Starlight,

Well fall is upon us again and like it always does down here in Ponyville, the Running of the Leaves took place. Now I hope you aren't mad but I decided to take part in it. I know I had a busy schedule but Twilight took part in it back in the day and I just decided I wanted to try it out. Don't worry, Iron Will took over my duties and he actually did a pretty good job!

Now about the race. Well I had most everypony telling me they didn't think I would do very good, especially Luster but guess what? I won and not only did I win, but I set a new record! Not only do I have a nice shiny gold medal around my neck but I have a huge, kick ass trophy on a shelf in my office now too! I'm honestly thinking of taking over the P.E. classes down here. Hey I can run like the wind so I may as well, right?

Now what does surprise me is that despite being up there in years, Applejack and Rainbow Dash finished second and third. Those two seem to have mellowed out over the years because from what I understand one time they finished last because of how they were fighting. Oh well, this time the last place finish was reserved for Luster. I personally don't think she was even trying. Hell it took her until sundown to finish the race from what I understand. Now I didn't hang around that long because I had papers to grade but from what I understand she crossed right as the sun was dipping below the horizon and was demanding a trophy. When I heard that my immediate thought was, "Same old Luster, wants a trophy merely for participating."

Anyway, just thought I'd write you and let you know about the race.

The Fastest Pony in Ponyville,

Bright Beam

Dear Bright Beam,

Booyah Bright Beam, Booyah! Way to show them other ponies that a Canterlot pony can win that race! I know they thought the same thing when Twilight took part in it and she wound up winning. Let me say that I'm very proud of you and you don't need to worry about me being mad. You are learning a lot down there and learning to kick ass in races is just part of the game. Maybe some day I will teach you how to fly with just your magic and you can enter the best young flyers competition too and win something I never had the opportunity to compete in.

You know something, I know I've said this before and I'll likely say it many more times, you're like the daughter I never had. You excel at everything you do and you always try your hardest. Now when it comes to Luster, I know she will continue to fail miserably in all aspects of life but she isn't our problem so let's not focus too much on her, alright?

Anyway, I'm coming down to Ponyville this weekend and how about I take you out to lunch for kicking ass in that race. Does that sound good?

Very Proud of You,


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