The Impossible Map Mission, Part 1 (S3 E6)
Dear Celestia,
I am in a bit of a pickle here. I have been sent on a mission to try and reunite Twilight and Starlight, well Luster and I both. Being around Luster is enough of a pain but to try and reunite two ponies who despise each other is something I have no idea on what to do. Starlight will likely never forgive Twilight for what she did to Toolaroola and Coconut Cream because they are pretty much her everything at this point.
She also hates Twilight over the name calling and views her as inferior because of her focusing on sex while she is doing everything. She is doing everything from handling BOTH celestial bodies, dealing with domestic and now foreign diplomacy....well she said dealing with foreigners will be my job until I take over as mayor since Luster didn't do so well in Klugetown. Yeah I hate Luster but even I wouldn't send her to Klugetown, that place is a black market shit hole that ponies should avoid at all costs, well except infinitely powerful ones who could blast that place off the map with no problems.
How do I do it? You are their mother and you know them better than anypony else and you know more about this situation that either one of us do, especially ME since Starlight is suddenly being more secretive and seems to only share the most secret things with her daughters. Just give me some advice, please.
Seeking Advice,
Bright Beam
Dear Bright Beam,
Let me start out by saying that this is one of those missions that I wouldn't wish on anypony. You're having to deal with somepony you hate to go and try and fix things between two ponies who would probably destroy one another if they got the chance. Starlight's stubborn side and extremely overprotective nature will make things even more difficult. Well Twilight and her obsession with sex and hatred of Starlight for wanting commitment will make it even worse.
Here is what you do, you tell Starlight that Equestria needs two sisters working together to keep things stable since making sure the country is safe is very high on her priority list. You also tell Twilight that I will be very disappointed in her if they don't reconcile in one way or another because she has won my favor and that is very important. Don't expect this to be easy and bad things could happen, Starlight could drop you as a protege and Twilight might try to toss you in another dimension. Luckily though if she did that Starlight would simply save you. The worst thing though is that a terrible battle could ensue and they'd destroy Canterlot in the process. Just tread lightly, alright. When it comes to Luster, just tell her that you'll have to tolerate one another on this map mission and bring up that IF you pass it, maybe the two of you will be closer to fulfilling your destinies.
Sincerely,
Celestia
Dear Celestia,
This is Luster and I am not thrilled, like at all. Bright Bitch and I are being called on a mission to the palace up in Canterlot. I'm pretty sure it is to try and get Twibitch and her power hungry sister to get along again. I'm going to be honest, I like the fact that they are fighting and aren't engaging in their disgusting sisterly bonding anymore. Now I do find it awesome that her and Flurry are bucking each other but this is going to be nothing but a royal pain in the ass.
How the hell do I even handle this? Starlight despises Twilight and given her short temper, I could see her attacking both me and Bright Beam and deeming us traitors the same way she has you. She loves her daughters so much that I could see her destroying the city if she thought that Twilight or even me or her precious Bright Bitch were a threat to them. She is mentally unstable, horribly mentally unstable but of course it is ones in power that get that way. As of right now, I know she is the one handling everything while Twilight is enjoying life. Yes I hate Twilight for all the shit she has done but at least I am not afraid of her the way I am Starlight.
Do I talk to Twilight and Bright Bitch talks to Starlight or what? I'm dreading this and I simply need advice.
Wondering How to Handle This,
Luster
Dear Luster,
Ok, both of you need to talk to them together. You need to try and convince Starlight that Equestria needs both of you ruling together to function properly and you need to tell Twilight that I will be disappointed in her if they can't at least tolerate one another enough to at least handle foreign dignitaries together and perhaps have Twilight get to handling the moon again, well if Starlight will even trust her enough to do so.
I know you and Twilight don't get along any better than her and I did back when she was my protege but reasoning with Starlight will be hard, very hard. I have a feeling that even Bright Beam getting her to listen will be hard enough but with you, it will be impossible. All I can say is good luck getting them to listen. To be honest, if you can at least get them to tolerate one another that would be an ascension worthy accomplishment but unfortunately that isn't up to me anymore.
Hoping You Can Get them to Get Along,
Celestia
Dear Bright Beam,
How the fuck are we supposed to do this? As you know I hate your guts and hate having to spend time with you but now we have to go get our mentors to get along? I have been in touch with their mother and she seems to think that we need to speak to them together. I do agree and then maybe, just maybe we will be able to get them to at least tolerate one another. Celestia said to tell Twilight that she would be disappointed in her if they don't get along and then tell Starlight that the very fate of Equestria could rest on it. I've got it! We can tell Starlight to do it for her daughters, that a stable Equestria wouldn't put them in any kind of danger.
This is going to be a difficult mission but I do think that if we can put our hostilities aside, we can pull this off. This will likely be the toughest map mission of all time but this could be a test for us. If we both succeed, we could get close to earning our wings. Now that would be sweet if you ask me.
Signed,
Luster Dawn
Dear Luster,
I can't believe I'm going to say this but I actually agree with you on this. I don't know how they'll react to this but I do know that they're not going to be happy. Don't tell her this but I'm actually terrified of how Starlight will handle this. Her hatred for Twilight is only surpassed by her magical abilities and her love for her daughters. Twilight too will react negatively but maybe all the sex she has been having will have her in a better mood.
How about this, we talk to Starlight first since she is more volatile and then we can talk with Twilight. Now let's get going and hopefully succeed here....and just imagine if we were to both get our wings, that would be sweet!
Signed,
Bright Beam
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I do find it funny that somehow Starlight is the one that is seen as dangerous. Twilight is still crazy strong and has been KNOWN to go off the handle. Hell that is how all this shit got started. If she just rejected her and that be that it would have been the end of this. But her ass tried to banish her family because they didn't do what she wanted. Needless to say while Starlight is nuts, Twilight is just as much. They are now stepping between a landmine and a shark with a harpoon launcher for a face. I don't want to be in their shoes.
The level of bullshit in these statements could easily dwarf both of their power before Twilight lost her infinite power. According to everyone who knows, Starlight has been running everything solo. And even before then, Celestia handled everything solo for a thousand years before Twilight was old enough to do it for her. This is a terrible argument, especially against someone as smart as Starlight.
Also like DragonPony said, why are they scared about Starlight? The worst thing she’s done (while still messed up) is mess with time (which was easily fixed and had zero repercussions) Steal cutie marks (which were easily returned) blow up on Trixie (which she deserved due to how she acted) and betrayed Trixie (while still bad, it wasn’t as apocalyptic as they think Starlight will react. And to be honest, probably saved Equestria from something worse then the virus). Yeah I was afraid of what Starlight would’ve done when Twilight had to reject her, but that was before I saw how unhinged Twilight was.
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Yeah, things are not going to be easy here. I'm still trying to figure out exactly how to have this happen and am unsure whether i will even make this mission a success or not. One thing is for sure, the days of old won't be returning for Twilight and Starlight.
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They are scared because they are worried that Starlight will see them trying to reconcile her and Twilight as a threat to Toolaroola and Coconut Cream....and both of them know that such a thing would not be met well.