Unpleasant Correspondence 2 (My Little Pony: Reign of the Goddess-Queens)

by StormLuna

A Normal Equestria (S2 E11)

To the citizens of Equestria,

We, the Goddess-Queens that you are all mandated by law to love and worship, have some absolutely wonderful news. As you all know, for as long as anypony can remember, us ponies have had to handle the weather and change the seasons. Regardless of what kind of pony one is, we have all had to put up with this unnatural shit since before the founding of Equestria. While we know everypony will be eternally grateful to us, we believe that will especially be true when it comes to the earth ponies and pegasi since they always get stuck doing the most demeaning activities, activities that are far beneath anything we would ever do.

Well given that both of us now have infinite powers, we did some studying and we reversed that spell that requires ponies to not only have to handle the weather, but also do dumb shit like waking up animals and bringing idiotic birds back home after winter has been cleared away. Now things here in Equestria will operate normally like they do in other parts of the world.

You want to know what is great about this? All across our wonderful country, there will no longer be a lost day of productivity since events like Winter Wrap Up, creating winter and The Running of the Leaves will no longer be necessary. The snow will melt on its own depending on the weather patterns and leaves will actually fall on their own! This is fucking sweet, don't you think?

Also, no longer will we be bankrupting the country by paying pegasi to change the weather. It wasn't just paying them that was harming us economically but those damn pensions were killing us. Now we are sure that we will see an extremely small uptick in unemployment for a while until those pegasi can find REAL jobs. Hey, the economy is booming and so many places across the country are hiring so it shouldn't be difficult.

Oh and to the earth ponies, you should be thanking us big time because now you don't have to clear the snow from your fields with heavy manual labor. Just wait for the snow to melt and then plant your seeds. We are sure your quality of life will increase ten fold thanks to us, the most powerful and best creatures on the face of the planet.

Now the two of us will say this: YOU'RE WELCOME! You're welcome for us making your lives so much easier. You have no idea how long the two of us have been planning on doing this and it was just today that we finally decided to free all of you from such menial labor that is beneath Goddesses like us!

Now finally, we have some spectacular news! Both of us are in incredibly good moods so we have decided not to send bills to any of you! All we expect is your gratitude BUT if anypony protests us doing this and demands that we return things to the old ways, they will be fined 25% of their income for the next 25 years and will be flogged 25,000 times in the courtyard underneath our balcony. Now enjoy letting the weather handle itself everypony!

Your Supreme Leaders and Goddess-Queens,

Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer and Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Oh and Cloudsdale, you will no longer be needed to create raindrops or snowflakes so have fun finding some other way to keep your economy afloat losers!

---

To a Couple of Bitches Who Disrespect Tradition,

Ah can't believe y'all would do this. Ah never once imagined that you two would spit on tradition like this. Well Ah can kind of understand Starlight because of her impatience but still, it is the way things have been since before the founding of Equestria. Now we are going to have to put up with droughts and floods. We could very well have famines now because of natural disasters.

Ah know y'all probably did this to spite all of us since y'all clearly think y'all are better than us non-magical ponies. Ah don't know what us earth ponies are going to do now if our crops fail. We'll probably go out of business and then everypony will starve. Curse both of y'all to Tartarus.

Very Pissed Off,

Applejack

---

To Our Tyrannical Leaders,

I can't believe you'd do this. I can not believe you would put so many pegasi out of work. So many of us have talents that involve handling the weather and aren't suited for other lines of work. You know, I thought both of you understood friendship and respected Equestrian culture but today both of you proved that you don't do either.

I do want to let you know this, just because the economy is booming and places are hiring across the country, it doesn't mean it is like that everywhere. Many of us are going to have to relocate our families and move away from our friends because all these job opportunities you talk about are back east and in Las Pegasus. That may be fine for some but a lot of us don't want to have to move to places like that because the big city life isn't for us.

I am especially upset that the two of you think that paying pegasi to control the weather and paying us our pensions is bankrupting the country. I know you likely just see me as a brain dead jock but I do know enough about the economy that paying us pegasi for our services has never bankrupted the country or harmed it in the slightest. If it had done so, Princess Celestia would have tried to undo that spell herself and put us all out of work. You two just did this because you have superiority complexes because of your immense power and are using the bankruptcy bullshit as an excuse.

I can't believe that I ever thought of either one of you as friends. Given who your mother is though, I suppose your greed should come as no surprise. She was so greedy and I have heard about your fining of Luster's parents and how they are pretty much Bright Beam's personal ATM thanks to you but I think both of you are worse than Celestia could ever dream of being. Whatever, thanks to you now I have to go and try to find a "real job" as you two put it.

And you do know now that Cloudsdale will likely turn into a ghost town because it likely won't get any tourism to bring in money and it can't make anything else other than rain and snow. You're dooming an entire community to the fate of becoming a ghost town.

Beyond Pissed,

Rainbow Dash

---

To the Most Horrible Ponies Ever,

I can't believe you two. You two knew how much I along with my cousin Bunny Tracks enjoyed waking up the critters during Winter Wrap Up and now we won't be able to do that anymore. Many ponies are upset how you two threw tradition in the trash just so Equestria can have "normal" weather patterns like the rest of the world. Everything we had is what made Equestria unique, we never had to worry about natural disasters and our critter friends never had to starve.

Pretty soon there will be disharmony and that will cause the windigoes to return and then everypony will turn against you two and while we don't know how we'd do it but we'd find a way to oust you two and maybe talk your mom out of retirement so that things can return to normal and ponies can be happy again. I honestly don't care what you two do to me because if you do do anything bad to me, Discord will create lots and lots of bits and crash the economy.

Sad and Upset,

Fluttershy

---

Dear Starlight and Twilight,

What you two did is fucking sweet! I always love it when you do things like this to make life better for Equestria. Down here in Ponyville ponies are out protesting all this with signs reading "Bring back Winter Wrap Up" and "Restore Tradition." What a bunch of idiots. I'm sure when the time comes for those antiquated events that caused a lost day of productivity and they no longer have to mess with it, they'll be thanking you.

Now the students were saddened that they wouldn't get a day off from school to help with these events but once I promised them a field trip to Las Pegasus when events such as Winter Wrap Up, creating winter and The Running of the Leaves would have came along, they changed their tune in a hurry. I would write more but my harem and I are set to meet in the steam room in thirty minutes and I still need to go feed Shadow. You two have a wonderful day.

Thankful for Everything You Two Do,

Bright Beam

---

To all our "Friends" in Ponyville,

Get over it, ok? We simply believed that antiquated and ridiculous traditions needed to be done away with and Crash, we don't know where you got your economic figures from but paying those pegasi along with their damn pensions was harming the economy. We both know that you finding a real job will likely be hard and you'll likely have to move to a big city but oh well, that is how life goes. You go where the jobs are. If you want to remain in this region, we could always use more maids or when Luster bitch gets back from her little trip with Trixie, you can go be her maid and stay in Ponyville. Now if you will excuse us we have some sisterly bonding we need to engage in.

Everypony's Superiors,

Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer and Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Oh and Rainbow, we don't care about Cloudsdale. Having a city in the sky is unnatural and we will just use our magic to shoot it out of the sky in a couple of weeks anyway so don't worry about it.

Oh and Fluttershy, you do realize that the very idea of trying to overthrow us is high treason don't you. Equestrian law dictates that either one of us could come and kill you, whether you are in Discord's realm or in Ponyville. You better be glad we have much more important things on our agenda or you'd be dead within an hour. Also, don't worry about the windigoes. Remember, the two of us have infinite powers so if they show up, all it would take is one bolt of our magic to wipe them out so we have nothing to worry about.

---

Dear Bright Beam,

We knew that if one pony would appreciate what we did that it would be you. It is amazing how promising field trips to the students really changes their tune isn't it? We will say this, we look back at things and we are so happy that we put you in charge of the friendship school instead of Luster. Both of us can only imagine how horrible that place would have been had we put her in charge.

To be honest, we think that had we put her in charge, that place would have wound up having to shut down within six months because all the students would have left and gone home because of how rigid it would have become. Chances are that along with that, she would have started a global war by filling the students' minds full of non-sense like she did a while back. Well we really need to get going, sisterly bonding awaits!

Happy You're Grateful,

Starlight and Twilight

---

Dear Twilight "Fuck Tradition" Sparkle,

I am over in Maretonia right now as you know and I heard over the news that you and your bitch sister cast a permanent spell to allow nature to run its course, basically spitting in Equestrian tradition that dates back to before the nation's founding. I always knew that you two hated the way things were ran in Equestria and you doing this sealed the deal. So now Equestria is going to be vulnerable to droughts and floods simply because paying pegasi was allegedly bankrupting the country.

Here is what the real reason is, you two simply want to take your infinite powers and force your will upon the citizens of Equestria. While I do find things such as Winter Wrap Up and The Running of the Leaves as stupid, I know how much many ponies love those events and you go and take them away. I am betting that Bunny Girl is devastated that you took away her ability to wake up the animals every spring. Now I am going to stop here because I don't think I can continue to write to you heartless bitches who let me be enslaved for twelve years any further.

Always Despising You,

Luster Dawn

---

Dear Luster,

Oh and since when have you actually given a shit about the ponies of Equestria? Throughout you whole sorry, miserable pathetic life you have always been about you. I think I know why you are suddenly pretending to care. You are doing so because my incredibly sexy sister and I fixed things over here and you are upset.

Now one thing is not sitting well with me right now. You have been out of the country for way too long. Remember Luster, you do have duties down there in Ponyville and you have pretty much abandoned them. Now one part of me is pissed but another part of me is elated. Part of me is elated because if you're gone for too long, I'll simply revoke you and Trixie's passports, drop you as my protege and hell, just to spite you I'll ascend Cozy Glow and make her my protege instead.

Want to know something even more fun? Once you'd be over there too long, you'd likely be deemed illegals! Their leaders would then contact me and ask me if I want them to deport the two of you or lock you up over there and I'd tell them to lock you up, lock both of you up! So get your ass home if you know what is good for you.

Demanding You Come Home,

Your Owner,

Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle

---

To My Daughters,

It is about time you two decide to reverse that spell. Luna and I were wondering if you were ever going to do it or if you were simply all talk and cared too much about the feelings of the earth ponies and the pegasi. Down here in Silver Shoals, everypony is thrilled that you have done it. I don't know if they're just putting on a show knowing I'm your mother and they are worried I would banish them to the moon if they don't support you or if their thoughts are genuine.

I can only imagine how those lesser than you two are behaving right now. I can imagine that the ponies down in Ponyville and other podunk backwater towns are probably shitting bricks over their lousy traditions being taken away but I'm sure the city ponies are happy over this. You'll have to let me know how things are going because I am very curious, especially when it comes to Crash since she is now out of a job. Anyway, I'm so proud of you and please let me know how certain ponies are reacting!

Love,

Mom

---

Dear Mom,

Well we figured that the time had come. Last year Bright Beam won a fancy trophy for breaking the record in The Running of the Leaves and since that will no longer be necessary, her record is now safe. Also, Luster's record for being the slowest pony ever is safe too since we did this.

Regarding how some ponies are behaving, it is rather humorous. PETA Girl and her cousin, Bunny Tracks (aka Bunny Girl) are all pissy because they won't have to wake those stupid animals up anymore. Now those critters will get their asses out of bed on their own. PETA Girl's letter to us was priceless. You know I could see her throwing herself out to Colgate if we'd restore their dumb traditions but that ain't going to happen. She could let Colgate tear her a hundred new assholes but that still wouldn't sway us.

Applejack is also throwing a fit over this. She is so upset because using manual labor to plow their fields and shit is what is traditional. Faust forbid the weather handle itself in her eyes. We swear, she is just as pissy as PETA Girl is and we both find it downright hilarious!

Now for Crash, that dumb bitch is by far pissed off the most. She was whining about all those pegasi suddenly being out of a job and had the audacity to call us liars over how we brought up paying the pegasi was bankrupting the country. Ok, it may not have been but it was easily believed by the ponies of the big cities who support us. To top that off, she was bitching about how pegasi family were having to move where the jobs were and how distance was being put between them and their families! What a sentimental little bitch, right?

She even brought up how some of them are only suited to handle the weather and to us, that makes them pretty much worthless. If all they can do is handle weather then they deserve to be doing menial jobs or even whoring themselves out on a street corner in some big city. If they can't adapt, then they have no place in society.

Bright Beam has brought up to us that ponies down in Ponyville are protesting and even rioting over this shit. Our view is that if ponies pull that shit, we can just expand Tartarus for them. Civil unrest is something that does not sit well with us and anypony who causes problems will be punished accordingly. Some we may just fine, some we will torture and then some will go to Tartarus.

Oh and one other pony is all pissy, Luster Dawn. Yep, she went off pretending that she actually gives a shit about the ponies of this country. She went on and on about how we hurt their feelings by taking their traditions away from them and we called her out on it. We told her that she only cared because it was us who did this. Anyway, we thought we'd let you know about all the issues some ponies are having. You have a pleasant day mom!

Love Your Daughters,

Starlight and Twilight

---

To My Daughters,

I am so proud of you! I am so proud that you two used your infinite powers to not only reverse that spell but piss so many ponies off! It is obvious that you two are so much more like me and not so much like your father. Speaking of your father, he dropped by yesterday and we had a good lunch. Now I do have a big favor to ask of you, would you please ascend Firelight into being an immortal Alicorn with my level of power so that him and I will never be parted. We have decided that if you will do this, we will get married. Yes we should have done all this back when you two ascended but he had that emergency in Sire's Hollow and then we lost touch. Let us know if you'll do this, alright?

Love,

Mom

---

Mom,

Well it is about time that you and dad finally decided to get married. Come on up here as soon as you can and we'll get all of this taken care of. Dad can become like you and don't worry, to make sure this whole thing is set up right, we'll have Bright Beam set it up. She is a pure gem and we know it will be perfect with her doing it.

Love Your Daughters,

Starlight and Twilight

Comments

[vortex123]

Now one thing is not sitting well with me right now. You have been out of the country for way too long. Remember Luster, you do have duties down there in Ponyville and you have pretty much abandoned them. Now one part of me is pissed but another part of me is elated. Part of me is elated because if you're gone for too long, I'll simply revoke you and Trixie's passports, drop you as my protege and hell, just to spite you I'll ascend Cozy Glow and make her my protege instead.

Didn't Luster initially want to never return to Equestra? This isn't really so much a threat, as it is giving Luster what she wanted.

Also, about the weather:

The fact that AJ, Dash, Fluttershy and Luster were actually surprised by Twilight and Starlight doing this baffles me. They should have expected this, since they've all personally known the two for quite a while, the first 3 especially.

[StormLuna]

10333210

They simply thought that they were all talk and never actually expected them to do it. Dash especially is pissed because of how it negatively affected the pegasi but naturally they don't give a shit....but then again neither of them give a shit about anypony's feelings (outside of Bright Beam and as you'll see down the road, their parents).

Regarding Luster, she already served 12 years in a labor camp so she certainly isn't going to want to be imprisoned somewhere else too....well that and the whole ascending Cozy is a major part of it being a threat.

[RDDash]

More or less pegasi are always get a blame for bloated government sponsored pensions. Get a grip Equestria. Twilight are you prepared to create more jobs to put them lazy to work? Twilight is thinking that flying city is unnatural, now she's no better than the traditional apple horse. Anyway, I thought that Crush was in the military.

[StormLuna]

10351114

Dash is a Wonderbolt and I really don't think of them in the military. The thing with the Two Sisters in this story, they want change and I got the whole pegasi bankrupting the country thing from another story. And regarding more jobs for them, the Sisters will leave that up to the private sector.