• Published 20th Nov 2019
  • 2,144 Views, 356 Comments

Unpleasant Correspondence 2 (My Little Pony: Reign of the Goddess-Queens) - StormLuna



Everything has come full circle and now it is Twilight who sends her protege to Ponyville. Needless to say, Luster isn't one bit happy about it.

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Wedding Planning, Part 1 (S3 E23)

Dear Luster,

Ok I know that normally I'm not the one that would be contacting you over something like this but since Bright Beam is busy with her mayoral duties and summer break is here, I want to ask you of a huge favor. You see, recently Cadence and I became an item and while I'm unsure about it, she is wanting to get married rather soon. I do love her and I do want to make sure our wedding is perfect for her so I was wondering if you and your friends could set it up. After killing those witches and saving your friends, I know this should be easy for you.

Thanks in Advance,

Starlight


Dear Starlight,

Whoa, whoa, whoa! You mean to tell me you're going to marry Cadence even though you two haven't been an item for that long and to top that off, you're trusting me to set it up? Look, I know Bright Beam and I killed those witches and saved my friends along with her harem but do you really want to put me in charge of something this important? I'll be honest, I'm flattered and it seems like you've turned nice towards everypony except Twibitch but this is still so out of the blue, not to mention that I can't help but have my concerns over your choice of a future wife.

You know she has done nothing but cheat throughout her whole life. Look what she did to Shining Armor, she always cheated on him with Twilight and even Celestia! What if she was to cheat on you and break your heart? You want to know something else, even Trixie is concerned about you even though you betrayed her in the worst way possible, Trixie for Faust's sake!

Now please think about this because I do think of you as my mentor now since Twibitch basically abdicated and you did ascend me so I am bound to have my concerns. Now don't go expecting the same concerns from Bright Beam because you know how she feels about commitment! If you want to commit so badly, take your time in finding a mare without a history of infidelity alright!

Concerned,

Luster Dawn

***

Starlight,

The Great and Powerful Trixie is likely the last pony you'd expect to hear from and Luster has told her about your situation. Even though you hurt Trixie when she wanted commitment, even she wouldn't want you getting with Cadence. Remember what Cadence did to Shining Armor for years and he loved her to pieces! Trixie knows that this may be some plot of yours to get back at Goddess-Queen Bitchy Pants but please rethink it. Cadence would cheat on you just like she did Shining Armor, and that would likely be with Twilight! Anyway, take what Trixie is saying seriously, even you don't deserve to be cheated on like that.

Sincerely,

The Great and Powerful Trixie


Ladies,

I can understand your concern and I'll admit, Toolaroola and Coconut Cream have brought up the same thing but she has changed, I can feel it! I can feel the energy flowing from her, it is so full of love. I have a strong feeling that she has learned her lesson from her past behavior and won't do the same thing to me. I have a feeling she has always been a lesbian but just hooked up with Shining Armor because of social pressure and that is why she cheated on Shining Armor. Now that she'll be hooking up with another mare, I just know she'll be loyal to me because she is always telling me and expressing her love for me. Thanks for your concern.

Glad You're Concerned,

Starlight


Dear Starlight,

I swear, rumors spread faster in this country than the coltovirus did. I have heard that you are going to be marrying Cadence and when you do, she will become queen. What I would like to know is why the fuck you would marry that disloyal little slut. You know how she cheated on Shining Armor with Twibitch constantly and that is when they thought they were sisters-in-law.

You know I think you're nuts for committing to start with but if she hurts you, don't come crying to me because I don't want to hear it. If you get hurt, you will have been begging for it. Also, don't go thinking you can hold it down here because I won't give you a permit for it. I don't need some sham wedding disrupting activities down here, especially a wedding involving a little whore who should have been cast into another dimension, not being given a chance to hurt you.

Whatever, I'm shocked that Luster and Trixie are so concerned. All three of us want to see you come to your senses but unlike them, I won't be a shoulder to cry on. Here's an idea, don't be so fucking desperate. I can tell you are because if you weren't, you wouldn't be hooking up with a pony who the whole world knows is a disloyal bitch. Just take your time, meet a good mare, date her for a few years, then enter into a courtship and then get married to her. That would be far better than simply hooking up with a bitch you are marrying solely to spite Twibitch. Yeah I hate your sister as much as the rest of the country does but is it really worth it to put yourself at that kind of risk solely to spite her? I don't think so. I do not support this AT ALL but I can't stop you. Again, don't come crying on my shoulder WHEN she cheats on you.

Looking Out for You,

Mayor Bright Beam


Bright Beam,

I get it, she has a checkered past but so do I. I changed and when she tells me she has changed, I'm inclined to believe her. Everypony deserves a second chance, well maybe not the likes of Tirek or that bitch Chrysalis but you know what I mean. Our time together, which is pretty much all the time, has been so wonderful. I can feel the love radiating from her and thoughts of having an eternity with her is making me feel warm inside and whenever we gives me a gentle kiss, my heart skips a beat. Just please try and be civil when dealing with Cadence. You don't have to like her but just do this for me.

Soon to Be Cadence's Wife,

Starlight


Dear Starlight,

Oh she told you she's changed? Well I could tell you I found a way to transform myself into a zebra/Alicorn hybrid but that wouldn't make it true. You have always been there for me and always done so much for me and I only want what is best for you. If tough love is what it is going to take, so be it. I honestly wish you'd listen to me, Luster and Trixie. We all agree that Cadence is a bad choice and when all three of us are in agreement on something, you know it is serious and that our opinion is worth listening to and our advice is worth following.

Hell I wouldn't be a bit surprised if this isn't some sort of plot between Twilight and Cadence to break your heart. I could see those two pulling shit like that. She marries you, she owns your heart, makes you her sub the same way Fluttershy did Twilight and then she goes and screws Twilight while confining you to the palace. Don't fall into the same trap Twilight did when she was so naïve when it came to relationships, alright?

Concerned,

Mayor Bright Beam


Cadence,

Now you listen to me and you listen to me good. You better be good and loyal to Starlight or I will fuck you up big time. I know the only powers you have is spreading love and light so I'm way up on you there. I know what the hell is going on between you and my mentor and I know about your past. I know you are a disloyal slut and if you hurt her in the slightest, you'll disappear without a trace. I don't support this shit marriage and think my mentor is nuts for marrying you but I will punish those who hurt her feelings.

Yes she has her past with Twilight and Trixie but when it comes to commitment, she is very naïve and vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Hell I don't even care what would happen to me in the end but if I find out you did anything and given how rumors spread in this country, I will find out, your punishment will be swift, severe and permanent.

Ready to Destroy You,

Mayor Bright Beam

P.S. If a word of this gets to Starlight, you'll be sleeping with the fishes, capiche?


Dear Bright Beam,

Calm down, I'm not going to do anything to Starlight. I have changed and I know what I did in the past was wrong. I know I hurt Shining Armor and it was wrong but I'm not going to do that to Starlight so you don't need to go issuing death threats, alright?

Look, I truly love Starlight and I know she loves me. Yes she may be naïve when it comes to commitment but again, I would never hurt her, ok?

Ready to Marry Starlight,

Soon to Be Queen Cadence


Cadence,

The very way you signed that letter is making me extremely suspicious. Are you just doing this so you'll be a queen? Whatever it is, remember what the results of you cheating on Starlight will be. Other ponies may be all nice and shit but I'm not. I'm loyal to those who are close to me and Starlight is like a second mother to me so if you do anything stupid, you'll regret it....got that bitch?

Signed,

Mayor Bright Beam


Dear Mom,

We really wish you would think twice before marrying Cadence. Remember what she did to Shining Armor? Remember how she constantly cheated on him with Twilight and look at Flurry Heart, she is a product of Cadence cheating on him with Celestia! What if she was to cheat on you? We could see her doing it too because she has no idea what loyalty is. All she will do is hurt you and we don't want to see that happen. Just think about it before you say yes.

Concerned,

Toolaroola and Coconut Cream


Girls,

I know about Cadence's past and you two aren't the only ones who have expressed these concerns. I know Cadence loves me and she has changed. She isn't the disloyal thing she used to be and I know she will be good to me and I know she will be a great second mom for you two as well. Everything will be ok, alright?

Love,

Mom


Dear Cadence,

Now you listen to us and listen to us good. We know you are going to marry our mom and we also know about your past. We know how you cheated on Shining Armor constantly and we are warning you that you will not get away with doing the same to our mom. We will be watching you like a hawk and if you even so much as flirt with another pony, we will be forced to put you in your place. Just so you know, we have been ascended to where we have more power than you so taking you out will be easy.

It won't be just us watching either, there are others who will be watching you as well. Bright Beam will we know for sure and she is one of those "take no prisoner" types and you don't want to piss her off. We also know that the national news media will constantly be watching you because if you was to cheat on our mom, it would make national headlines and drive their ratings through the roof. You could very well be the most heavily watched creature on the face of the planet.

We might even contact Colgate and her friends over this because we know you'd just love to wind up back in their hooves! If you was to cheat on our mom and she found out, we're sure she would haul you over there and once again you'd be subject to being horn raped non-stop. Do you really want that bitch? Do you really want to constantly be watched and then be sentenced to an eternity of horn raping when you can't hold back your true nature?

If you want to avoid the stress of constantly being monitored, just say no at the altar. It will make your life easier and you could even go back to Twilight! We know how much you loved bucking her and besides, who needs commitment anyway? With Twilight, you can get all the benefits without being tied down AND having multiple ponies who would have no problems making you disappear without a trace monitoring you. Just think about it, alright? You don't have to decide right now but think about your own stress levels. You'll NEVER be comfortable with us monitoring you and Bright Beam monitoring you, EVER.

Monitoring You,

Toolaroola and Coconut Cream


Toolaroola and Coconut Cream,

Look, I've changed ok? I'm not the disloyal mare I once was but I am seriously considering whether I should marry your mother or not now. You two will constantly be watching me, Bright Beam has already issued me a death threat and even Luster Dawn and Trixie are concerned I'll hurt Starlight and I thought Trixie would love to see her get hurt.

You honestly don't think I know about the media going to be watching me? They have always followed me around because of my status so that won't be anything new. When you're the sexy princess, everypony watches you closer but once I'm married to the most powerful creature in existence and have the title queen attached to my name, they'll know to back off.

Now look, I have things to do (such as your mom) so I shall cut this letter short.

Your Future Step-Mom,

Soon to be Queen Cadence


Dear Starlight,

I am writing you out of a matter of concern. I know you are going to be marrying Cadence soon and my friends and I can't help but wonder why. You know she is a habitual cheater, right? All she ever did was cheat on Shining Armor and I know she'll do the same thing to you too. I want to know something, what will her punishment be WHEN she cheats on you? Will you send her to the moon, will you throw her in Tartarus or will you give her back to me and my friends as a present? I'm really hoping for the last option because she would have it coming for doing nothing but causing everypony she has lusted for heartache. I'm certain you'll just be another statistic for her, another pony who's heart she breaks because of her inability to be loyal.

Just think about it, alright? You know, you could just spare the government the cost of the wedding and give her to me and my friends now! That would make life so much easier for everypony!

Your Friend,

Dr. M. Colgate, D.D.S.


Dear Colgate,

Ok, I am really starting to get sick of everypony warning me about Cadence. Luster Dawn and Trixie have, Bright Beam has, my daughters have and now you. The only ones who seem to genuinely care are Luster and Trixie. I know that Bright Beam wants to kill her whether she hurts me or not, I know my daughters will never accept her and you? Well I know you just want her so you can horn rape her again. Look, she has changed, alright! I'm marrying her and that's final!

Ready to Marry Cadence,

Starlight


Dear Cadence,

I must say, you must truly want to wind up back with my friends and I. I know how you are, I know you are a slutty little thing that has no idea what commitment is. I know that you will wind up cheating on Starlight and when you get caught, you will not like the results. You know her magic is driven by emotion and if you hurt her, she might do who knows what to you. She might use her atom magic on you, she might boil you away, she might imprison you in a painting and burn it, she might banish you to the moon or the sun, she might throw you in Tartarus OR she might decide to give you the worst punishment possible....giving you back to my friends and I! Now wouldn't that be sweet, getting horn raped non-stop for all eternity?

There is one simply way to avoid all this, simply reject her at the altar and you can go buck Twilight and Celestia all you want. We know who you truly love. You never loved Shining Armor and while normally I would never say this, he is a stallion of honor and didn't deserve to go through the heartache you caused him. Just reject her and while Starlight is crying in agony, I along with everypony else (which are many) who opposes this sham wedding MIGHT be able to convince her not to punish you.

Now take what we said seriously because you marrying Starlight is only making it more likely you'll belong to my friends and I again because you KNOW you'll cheat on her as much as everypony else in Equestria does. If your final fate isn't being horn raped by the four hottest mares in Equestria, I'd gladly operate the guillotine when you're beheaded!

Your Final Destiny,

Dr. M. Colgate, D.D.S.


To the World's Most Evil Pony,

You know what, I'm honestly beginning to wonder whether I should even do this. Everypony close to Starlight hates me, all of them. Luster and Trixie don't trust me at all, Bright Beam is threatening to make me sleep with the fishes, Toolaroola and Coconut Cream want to make me disappear without a trace and I know you and your degenerate friends want to own me again.

Look, I've changed alright? I'm not the cheating mare that I used to be. Ever since I moved in with Starlight, I've discovered true love and I am not going to do anything to lose it! How am I supposed to be happy when multiple ponies are plotting how they'll either kill me or torture me? I feel like I'm more hated than Twilight right now and you know everypony despises her!

I will be laughing though when after decades of being a good loyal wife to Starlight, none of you will have been able to dispose of me because of my loyalty. Just wait, when I birth a biological child of Starlight's, I'll be safe forever and I can boast to the world that you were all wrong! Now just leave me alone because I need to start preparing for what will be the happiest day of my life.

Starlight's Future Wife and Soon to Be Equestria's Queen,

Princess Cadence


Dear Princess Cadence,

We are writing to let you know that we think you should really reconsider marrying Starlight. We know how you are, we know you have done nothing but hurt everypony you have been close to. You broke Shining Armor's heart with your non-stop cheating with Twilight and Celestia. You can claim you have changed all you want but we know you haven't, a leopard can't change its spots. Just accept the fact that you're a disloyal slut, go back to Twilight and beg her not to punish you too bad. Who knows, she might even still give you sensual horn sex if you beg enough!

Signed,

Luster Dawn and Trixie Lulamoon

P.S. We will be monitoring you just like everypony else and if we catch you cheating on Starlight, we'll let her know. Given that her magic is driven by emotion, we're both pretty sure that you won't like the punishment you would receive.


Dear Luster and Trixie,

You two too? Why is it that everypony thinks I'm going to wind up cheating on Starlight? I've found a pony I'm madly in love with and I will never cheat on Starlight, ever! I only cheated on Shining Armor because I really only like mares and just felt pressured to get with him and you know that Flurry is actually Celestia's! You know what, I only put out for him on our wedding night and that is it, and I hated it!

Starlight gives me loving, sensual horn sex and the only thing I ever want up in me again is Starlight's horn! I can't believe I'm sharing this with what amounts to be two strangers but please, I've changed. Monitor me all you want but you'll never catch me cheating on Starlight because it won't happen, alright.

Sick and Tired of Everypony Distrusting Me,

Princess and Soon to Be Queen Cadence


Dear Aunt Celestia,

I'm seriously questioning whether I should even marry your daughter now. Everypony distrusts me, everypony. Even Luster Dawn and Trixie are going to be monitoring me and I thought they hated Starlight, especially Trixie! Why does everypony think I'm going to cheat on her? I'm not like that anymore and they just don't get it!

Luster and Trixie will be monitoring me and report it to Starlight if they think I'm cheating, I know Bright Beam is probably going to kill me whether I cheat or not, Toolaroola and Coconut Cream are threatening to make me disappear without a trace, Colgate and her friends will probably frame me so they can have me back as their slave and I'm sure Aunt Luna thinks it is early for marriage. I'm so torn right now. I love Starlight and want to be with her forever but everypony, even those who I thought didn't like her, are suspicious and will constantly be watching me.

Just give me some advice alright? I want to know if I should follow my heart and marry Starlight or if I should simply say no at the altar so I won't be constantly being watched by ponies who would love to see me taken out.

Seeking Advice,

Your Niece


Dear Cadence,

It sounds like you're up the creek either way. No matter what happens, unless you are 100% loyal to my psychological train wreck of a daughter for all eternity, you'll wind up breaking her heart and somepony will punish you for it. I know how you are, I know you lack the self-control to be loyal so just pick your poison. Hey you could always bolt now and seek asylum in Abyssinia since we don't have an extradition treaty with them but knowing Starlight, she'll sense where you are and teleport you back....and then give you to Colgate and her friends.

I do hope you can be loyal but I'm not going to count on it. I just hope Starlight doesn't make me pay for the funeral since you're my niece and your parents died a hell of a long time ago.

Not Wanting to Pay for Your Funeral,

Aunt Celestia


Aunt Celestia,

What? You honestly think that I'm going to get killed by somepony? Look, I'm not going to do anything to warrant anypony punishing me in any way, shape or form. Now yeah I'll always have to be on the lookout for Bright Beam but I know she'd never kill her mentor's loving, loyal wife, never!

Just you wait, I'll be loyal to Starlight and when I prove I can be, I won't be punished and I can throw it in all your faces. When I birth Starlight's children, you'll all know I've changed!

Ready to Be Loyal,

Princess Cadence


Dear Cadence,

Says the mare who let me knock her up while she was married!

Laughing,

Aunt Celestia

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