The-Lone-wanderer
Joined 15th Oct, 2015 ·
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You should learn proper punctuation.
I regret that I have but one downvote to give for my country.
I love it
yyyyeeeeesssssshhh.... That description. Dude, you were suppose to describe the story itself, not a summery of what your character did recently.... Jeeze, get yourself an editor while you're at it.
Really? You went with the 'I was stoned' cliche? Now it's taking place at the beginning of the main mlp plot? You didn't even try to turn it into an AU or try anything different..
EDIT: Good, you edited the description, now it makes sense and tells readers what it is.
My troll sense is tingling...
I love this! I demand another!
9668868
I Might take a while to make the second chapter
9671588
That is fine, take your time
Them run-ons though. Might need to properly sentence those, bruv.
A working example.
The pacing really messed with me. Could you go back and slow it down? Maybe add a little section where he realized he has these powers, And goes all "oh I already know how I'm gonna abuse this!" and have a paragraph to him planning some things to do even if he forgets it all immediately. Then take some time for the next chapter so it won't seem so rushed as this did.
make more
nice make more but dont rush to much
The oldest human in history was 122 when they died.
More?
9671588
here have a like on the replied comment … why dose it have 4 dislikes btw
ps you do you I hope you have a good day and epic story so far
I hope after it cotinuse for a wile it gets etided 1 chapter for evry 2 outso enywas I hope you have a good day and weekspecial room to cancel magic, but he can still use his powers. so he could escape at any time then...
This was a awesome start to the story, so basically he has Discord's powers without the snap.
I am so confused.