• Member Since 15th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen January 18th

The-Lone-wanderer


Comments ( 24 )

You should learn proper punctuation.

Estee #2 · Jun 7th, 2019 · · 6 · Chapter I ·

I regret that I have but one downvote to give for my country.

yyyyeeeeesssssshhh.... That description. Dude, you were suppose to describe the story itself, not a summery of what your character did recently.... Jeeze, get yourself an editor while you're at it.

Really? You went with the 'I was stoned' cliche? Now it's taking place at the beginning of the main mlp plot? You didn't even try to turn it into an AU or try anything different..

EDIT: Good, you edited the description, now it makes sense and tells readers what it is.

Comment posted by kildeez deleted Jun 7th, 2019

My troll sense is tingling...

Comment posted by Russian Bank Teller deleted Jun 7th, 2019

I love this! I demand another!

Comment posted by cunning_linguist deleted Jun 9th, 2019

9668868
I Might take a while to make the second chapter

9671588
That is fine, take your time

Them run-ons though. Might need to properly sentence those, bruv.

This story is about a human who was pushed into another world by his friend. Upon arrival, he gets imprisoned there for 1,000 years. Through those years he has gotten powers of both creation and destruction, and though humans can only live up to 100, he couldn't die and his body hasn't aged.

A working example.

Comment posted by BradyBunch deleted Jun 14th, 2019
Comment posted by Synesisbassist deleted Jun 14th, 2019

The pacing really messed with me. Could you go back and slow it down? Maybe add a little section where he realized he has these powers, And goes all "oh I already know how I'm gonna abuse this!" and have a paragraph to him planning some things to do even if he forgets it all immediately. Then take some time for the next chapter so it won't seem so rushed as this did.

nice make more but dont rush to much

Comment posted by The-Lone-wanderer deleted Jun 14th, 2019

The oldest human in history was 122 when they died.

9671588
here have a like on the replied comment … why dose it have 4 dislikes btw
ps you do you I hope you have a good day and epic story so far I hope after it cotinuse for a wile it gets etided 1 chapter for evry 2 out so enywas I hope you have a good day and week

special room to cancel magic, but he can still use his powers. so he could escape at any time then...

This was a awesome start to the story, so basically he has Discord's powers without the snap.

I am so confused.

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