• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Friday


There’s no such thing as overkill.

Comments ( 54 )

I just found out about this fic and thought 'hey why not?' Click the next chap and got an error instead


Your rude

Not cool

Oh thanks for notifying me of this I’ll fix it

more chapters this one is more interesting then the last one

I’m gonna try to post more ASAP and this time that doesn’t mean 2 years.

cool make the next one AWESOME :rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2:

Suggestions are appreciated pm me any you might have also what do u think of it being in futaquestria.

it being in Futaquestria makes it funny as fuck he is either going to fuck a mare or get fucked by a mare

I answered without a second thought. "Name's Jekyll now die bird," I growled out before I clicked my fingers igniting the gas within my palm and using it like a flamethrower. "Ha, knew it'd work."

huh this feels familiar

(the name is the same as the protag of a displaced fic known as monster is as monster does but in that one he gets powers of blacklight from prototype but without video game restrictions, now come to think of it the way he got his name as jekyll is of him with a Griffen as its dying, granted in miam that jekyll isn't the one responsible for the death of said Griffen)

yo, Is it funny I downloaded the first version of this? XD also I have a few tips for ya, do. not. use. colored. text, its glaringly bright on a white background, and hurts my eyes, most likely others eyes as well, I will give this re write a reading, but I do wish you'd have posted a blog asking if we wanted a re write, or give others a chance to download the story before you take it down, or, just leave it up, I loved the first story, abit twas a bit cringy at certain times, but I do recommend you do as I said next time before you delete/re write a story, as many fans like to read the same story more than twice, good thing I have the old version downloaded :P and the new one to, lets see if this is as good as the old, shall we?

I didn't mean to copy anybody. I just like the name.

I know I know, I was just pointing it out
(and the fact it came first)

didn't mean to imply you did a plagiarism, just stating a similarity I had found intriguing

Please continue

Welp.....I like this one better than the last one,better spelling and all that,try n update every few weeks or half a month,like I do with my stories,please message me if you update this

please tell me the MC is not evil and has a hate boner against celly or the ponies

There are some grammatical errors and the pov changes are confusing but other than that this is pritty good

He did in the last version of this but I don't know how much it will change so far it is really different from the original

too short mate 🙁

Thanks for the input next will b longer

This needs more chapters. Loving Jekyll though.

I love this, however I think you may need an editor or something to help fix minor grammar mistakes and add a bit more detail to a few sentences, if need be I can help ya, if your interested just private message me about it

do you still have the old one in fanfiction? cuz I'm stuck reading either fluffybooru or some bnha and hnk in wattpad 'cause I'm really bored and your updates are slow

I kinda deleted the old one cause it started pissing me off that I’d backed myself into a corner sorry. Also I had reasons why I was late this week and I’m trying to have chapters done between one and two weeks.

it feels a bit rushed ,we went from them going to eat something at the end of last chapter to him creating a behemoth and killing changelings .You should probably work on smoother transitions .If you want you could read some other stories with a lot of likes since they're usually the best (except for clop)

I like Titus Bruz (just not with the betrayal thing hope you removed that)

whats next you gonna make like a small fast logistics drone thing and give them the personality of ratbag just with less conspiring contrivances cause that would be nice

Who is Titus Bruz? also, the second A.I. will be more along the lines of VEGA from Doom.

More words in chapters !!!

I forgot the comma its that you made the character Titus act and with the way his words are sounds like Bruz from lord of the rings; shadow of war the first captain you dominate is an olog named Bruz

I understand now. Thanks for clarification

hello, private message me, I know a way you can find his old fic

That's some interesting trends you ponies got their.

Hmm I would... Keep as much of that knowledge until deem those trustworthy.


Well what now?

any updates before 2020? or no?

Probably not been busy with college/work/holiday shit

"Wha," the loud honk of a bus was the last thing I heard as I felt my right arm and leg be pushed into my body their bones splintering and acting like shrapnel shredding my insides. I then felt the buses' wheels run over my spine snapping it in half and turning any organs that were still left from the initial impact to a sticky red paste. I barely felt the warm asphalt beneath my skin and on my exposed flesh as my mind shut down...

JEEZ, how fast was that bus going?

"Ok then," I pulled the lever and heard a voice come from the machine. " Pull the lever Kronk "

Its gonna be the wrong lever

alright. i smell bad self insert. now i'm no fucking good when it comes to writing. but how do you get sentence structure wrong? and along with that the pacing is already way off. and the cherry on top is the aggressive lack of depth. you have managed to write 2 chapters without so much as a drop of character. or character development. this is not the 'funny' bad, or the 'ironic' bad its the not worth reading bad. is fixing these glaring issues not the point of a rewrite? also Futa is gay.

no more updates

that just sucks

My computer died saving for new one it’s a pain typing on phone

I like this more pls

update sometime this century please

yo ya ever gonna reply? or are ya jus gonna deny, seriously, respond to comments my guy, its rude af to ignore them, moreso when your readers are tryna talk to ya about a story they love, so whats the situation here, story dead? story paused for a few years? story cancened? update soon? what one is it, pick one my boi

Login or register to comment