• Member Since 19th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 12 hours ago

Fluttercheer


I have adopted all foals of Equestria and write stories about their lives. Help me feed them by supporting me on Patreon or Ko-fi!

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Alula is a filly with a goal. A goal that is unfortunately out of reach for her, because the goal she has is a colt called Train Tracks. And Train Tracks is in a happy relationship with Peach Fuzz. Peach Fuzz is Alula's best friend and that makes matters even more complicated.
But complications never stopped Alula before. She is intended to get what she wants and after one failed attempt, the universe suddenly seems to be on her side.
It's Critter Snow Day and then it's Critter Snow Day again. The day just keeps looping and for Alula, it is THE chance to win over the colt of her dreams.
The only question is if Train Tracks' heart is really what she needs. Maybe there is more out there and maybe, there is something that Alula can learn about herself.
Only one thing is for sure: The universe watches and it listens.


A ponified reinterpretation of the movie Groundhog Day. Inspired by "Best Gift Ever".

Additional Genre Tags: Comedy, Dark, Mystery.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 36 )

I really hope there's at least one scene with Alula driving a cart off a cliff with Angel inside it, screaming "don't drive angry!"

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There is something like that. Though I'll go about it a bit differently. Good catch with Angel!

Another part will come out today, then there'll be a break of two days for the Season 9 Premiere before releases pick up again on Monday.

No comment yet? Let me fix this. The scene with Alula and her mother was really funny and I can understand her pain at the end, it's not easy

So, just the same, except she did it in a calm manner. Right?

Okay...You start to confuse me now but punching her is wrong.

So, let me get this right: She's sort of stuck in a loop of the same day?

Another well made chapter! She was really close on that one.

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So, just the same, except she did it in a calm manner. Right?

Not exactly. During this loop, Alula is believing that everything was just a dream she had because she was nervous about the outcome of her plan. So she tries things a little differently, just in case.
It's a loop that does not exist in the movie I ponified here, but I included it to improve the movie's pacing in this story.

Okay...You start to confuse me now but punching her is wrong.

Alula hasn't punched her mother. Here, she is only starting to lose her nerves because the day happens a third time for her and she starts to panic because she has no idea how that's possible and what is happening to her.

So, let me get this right: She's sort of stuck in a loop of the same day?

Eeyup. The differences when this affects her become more apparent with each loop.

Another well made chapter! She was really close on that one.

Thanks!

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The next part is out now! Since I forgot to publish it yesterday, there are going to be two updates today.

Edit: Make this two updates today, because I forgot it again. :fluttershyouch:

It seemed like the Perfect day...

She snapped. Can't Blame her After this Vicious Circus.

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Oh, it was. The days were definitely perfect. It's just the respective evenings that weren't to Alula's expectation.

Hahaha, that thing with the dragon was awesome!

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This seems to be your favourite scene. Glad you liked it!

A very nice ending! Though I'm a bit confused, was the repeating thing all in her head?

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Thanks! And, no, this all happened. As you can see by Scootaloo addressing the loops at the end.

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Ah, I see. It's a bit confusing and the site didn't inform me about your previous reply

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Okay. Though with punching, I mean her getting punched by Train

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Ah, I see. It's a bit confusing and the site didn't inform me about your previous reply

It's meant to be implied that the loops are over. It's something the movie I ponified did in the same fashion, so I kept it in that spirit. Although, I even went a little more clear on it than the movie did, by Scootaloo saying that Critter Snow Day is finally over for Alula. The idea here was to imply that Alula told her again what happens to her after they left the Festival during the night of the last loop.

Okay. Though with punching, I mean her getting punched by Train

Oh, this. Well, as Peach Fuzz said, he was just grumpy and a bit riled up because of their fight.
It's a transformation of a scene in the movie where the guy that is the main protagonist asks someone to give him a "good strong slap in the face" because he starts to think that he goes insane when the day happens a second time for him. He gets that slap and someone else close by says that he should say it if he needs help with the other cheek. They are both eager to slap him, because the guy in the movie is a real prick to everyone, including them.
Which is different here, because the guy in the movie isn't friends with them, they are just work colleagues, while Alula here is friends with Peach Fuzz and Train Tracks, so the relationship had to be adjusted a bit for this ponification of the movie.

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Of course and you did well, I just thought he went too far, slapping her over and over again

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I'd say that's pretty justified, considering how Alula tried to steal him from Peach Fuzz and ruin their relationship that way. The original movie I ponified also has such a slapping sequence. He doesn't slap Alula repeatedly, least not from his perspective, each slap just happens on a different loop after yet another failed attempt to pinch him by Alula.

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I see, though at first, it looks like this. Still, with Alula and her mother dressing was really funny

A great ending. I was worried there that Ginger would stay dead, glad you didn't go that way.

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That would have been too cruel. If I have the power to reverse time and save a cute filly from freezing to death, I have to use it! :raritywink:
Thanks for reading all the way through! This story is the result of way too many energy drinks and fast food and some lost braincells, so I'm glad there's someone who read it all.

I found Alula so unlikable in this chapter that I'm looking forward to her getting crushed by a giant Hearth's Warming Present in a future chapter.

In other words, she's a great analog of Bill Connors so far.

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Peach Fuzz: She might be okay...

(Cart explodes)

Peach Fuzz: No... probably not now.

More anger flared up in Train Tracks' face over hearing this plea. He lifted his right forehoof and slapped it into Alula's face. A resounding smack came from the impact on her cheek as her head got yanked around.

There's a lot to like in what you're doing with this story... but I'm starting to get hung up on two problems.

The first is the fact that unlike Larry and Rita, Peach Fuzz and Train Tracks are in a relationship, even if it's young love. Alula is actively trying to break them up to woo Train Tracks, which is not the same as Phil trying to woo Rita. It changes a lot about the narrative direction of the story.

The second is Train Tracks smacking Alula. Rita slapped Phil over and over in the movie... and no one bats an eye. It's disconcerting to see a colt hitting a filly. You never saw Charlie Brown slug Lucy after she pulled the football away, or Calvin physically assault Susie Derkins with anything more dangerous than water balloons and snowballs. Don't get me started on the line from Hitch where he says that girls hitting guys means they like you, because this wasn't like that. Double standard? Perhaps, but a simple gender flipping of the slap alters the narrative significantly.

I'm actually more ok with this than I would be with Alula breaking up Train Tracks and Peach Fuzz. :derpytongue2:

The Ginger scene... I have mixed feelings about that because the old man scene is a turning point for Phil. It marked the point where he realized that he wasn't all powerful despite the "gift" he had been given and was very poignant. Ginger instead becomes just another pony that Alula saves during her redemption.

What can I say, I'm a fan of Groundhog Day, Happy Death Day, Edge of Tomorrow, Hard Reset, The Best Night Ever... and their sequels. I started a sequel to my Wallflower Blush story that occurs during the events of Sunset's Backstage Pass but I haven't gotten very far with it.

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Wow, one of the artists who made the cover art possible found this story! Welcome!

In other words, she's a great analog of Bill Connors so far.

Thank you! Alula is a perfect fit for this role, I could see her being an analogue to him very well when I thought back on her speaking role in "Fame and Misfortune".

Alula is actively trying to break them up to woo Train Tracks, which is not the same as Phil trying to woo Rita. It changes a lot about the narrative direction of the story.

No, it is not the same and, yes, the narrative direction is very different with this. That was the intent. Having Alula trying to woo a colt who is not already given to somepony would be a simple copy of the movie's plot. The goal with this ponification was to write something in the same vein and with the same spirit as the movie, but with original ideas. Copying a movie's plot when ponifying it isn't very exciting.

The second is Train Tracks smacking Alula. Rita slapped Phil over and over in the movie... and no one bats an eye. It's disconcerting to see a colt hitting a filly.

I don't feel well about a double standard in such matters. It should be out of fashion by now, but people still think that a female slapping a male is fine, while the opposite is frowned upon and usually creates a shit storm. If a female thinks it's okay to slap a male, then why should the male not return the favor in a similar situation?
In addition to that, the double standard also carries some unfortunate implications. A society avoiding that males slap females, while considering it as okay if females slap males, this is implying that females are weaker than males and, therefore, shouldn't receive such a treatment, but that males are stronger than females and can take a slap because of that.
What reason would a society have to consider it as wrong when a female is being slapped by a male, while at the same time considering it okay when a male is being slapped by a female, other than the assumption that females are weaker than males?
That is a message I would not want to have in a story of mine, that any gender is stronger than the other or superior over the other, and I feel that Equestria has a progressive approach to this. I much rather have both genders being treated equally.

I'm actually more ok with this than I would be with Alula breaking up Train Tracks and Peach Fuzz. :derpytongue2:

I'm sure nopony would like to see this.^^ And it would break the moral of this story.

The Ginger scene... I have mixed feelings about that because the old man scene is a turning point for Phil. It marked the point where he realized that he wasn't all powerful despite the "gift" he had been given and was very poignant. Ginger instead becomes just another pony that Alula saves during her redemption.

I suppose I really just can't let a cute little filly die if I can prevent it from happening. :derpytongue2: But, actually, in the movie, the old man was saved by him, as well. It's easy to overlook this, but he successfully reanimated him in another loop later, which was indicated by a cold breath coming from below him. As well as his relieved expression at the end of this scene.
I'm not sure if I would have let Ginger die if the death of the old man in the movie couldn't have been prevented, but since it was prevented, I adapted the same thing for Ginger here.

This was great, adorable, and one of the best Groundhog Day stories I've read in a long time.

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One of the best? I was under the impression that I am the first one doing this. But if many others have ponified this movie before, then it would certainly explain why mine isn't getting many reads..... I'd simple be late to the party with this idea.

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Less late to the party; more poor advertising.
This is only one of four I've come across that are complete and worth the time.
Another is The Best Night Ever, where Rarity and Blueblood are stuck at the GGG, A Little Loopy, and Hard Reset be Eakin.
At least that I can think of at the moment.
Toss your story into groups and talk it up in blogs or forums.
It's a cute read, only a bit redundant copying some of the points of the movie, but it's all worth it.

10211460

This is only one of four I've come across that are complete and worth the time.
Another is The Best Night Ever, where Rarity and Blueblood are stuck at the GGG, A Little Loopy, and Hard Reset be Eakin.
At least that I can think of at the moment.

Ah, so you spoke about timeloop stories in general. My goal with "Critter Snow Day" was to make a ponification that is as faithful to the original movie as possible. This is why the individual scenes resemble the movie's scenes a lot. But the goal was also to have new ideas in the story that give it a fresh feel, with a different kind of moral lesson at the end.
I think I succeeded with this.
.

Less late to the party; more poor advertising.

Toss your story into groups and talk it up in blogs or forums.

I have already tossed the story into 20 groups, which sadly has not done much for the views of it. And I talked it up in one blog entry, at least.
It definitely can need more views and I still have the option of promoting it on Twitter, as I only have started to really use it for my stories at the end of 2019. And perhaps an Instagram promotion could bring more eyes to it, as well. These are my options for advertising that I have currently available.
But would doing the same thing with blog entries and groups multiple times really help the story? It feels like these options are exhausted already.

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