• Member Since 17th Jun, 2018
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Ashfur


Constantly distracted by shenanigans. Empowered by comments/messages. Exists as something between utter trash and the alicorn of comedy.

T

Over a decade after the main story of the show ends, a pegasus colt crash lands from the heavens with no knowledge of the new world he's ended up in. Weaker than anypony due to a near absence of magic, he must survive in Equestria as new foes loom on the horizon...

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 33 )

This story takes place in the future, right?

9211108
Yes, but there are 2 timeframes. The story itself is going to take place after the events of the show. For instance, in the next chapter we will see Flurry heart aged 12 years old. The main characters will make appearances, but as supporting roles.

But our storyteller telling this to his foals? That is an indeterminate amount of years in the future. All canon non-immortal characters will have died of old age by then.

He had been like this for half an hour sin e he woke up, his mind desperately trying to process his surprise change of species.

Where’s the C?!

9215543
Oh, great. Another typo.:facehoof: I try to catch these. It's with all the other autocorrections my phone "helpfully" throws at me. Fixed.

Well this is an interesting story so far, it is refreshing to see a different setup from the HiE in the Crystal Empire and in Flurry Heart' teenage years. I like that Comet is nearly magicless and is very vulnerable in his current state, compared to regular ponies. I hope we will see more of the noble foals and regular students to see how they interact with Comet and Flurry.

If you are interested to know I do a lot of commissions for cover art here on Fim, if you want to take a look at my DA gallery in the link bellow. PM me if you would like to discus about it further.

https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku

9219492
...and here's the part where I wish I my job paid more.

Still, it's nice to see someone appreciate my work. Aside from Prank war!, that is. Still don't understand why it got so popular so fast...

9219527
I wouldn't say it's popular just yet, but you are on a good start with an interesting premise so far. I think you would need a more descriptive synopses, through I do like the cryptic intro writing style you are using would be nice to have some foreshadowing on what we can expect of this story with the same style, if possible.

Good luck in your story writing

A longer chapter? How did that happen?! Guess my brain decided to step on the gas.
The downside: I have the babyshark song stuck in my head for no reason now. Why.

Interesting chapter I wonder that that stallion has anything to do with Comet being in Equestria and what does that crater? It was nice to see a little of school life for them.

Hum, wonder what is up with the shadows?

9224176
You really wanna know or would you rather wait a few chapters for an in-story explanation?

9224196
I can certainly wait.

Interesting turn of event, looking forward to see what sort of action scene will happen next with this newly discovered cake network.

9226828
:trollestia: Cake network?!

Ugh, go back to "Prank War!", Celly.

Nice we have our first real antagonist, now lets see what will happen next for them.

Interesting looks like Comet will have some real trouble coming his way and his peaceful and pampered life is at an end for a while. I though it was interesting that Flurry Heart had her own moment of glory on her own instead of just being a bystander. I like the idea that Comet gets part of his old power again. looking forward to the next chapter soon.

9231391
Only part of it! And of course I had to give Flurry a moment. It's one thing to drop in a mew character and say, 'oh look hes so op' but an overarching theme here is Comet's LACK of power.

Then again I'm fairly certain Twilight could oneshot anypony Comet's age. And most folks her age. And a few other characters too. And... geez, she is such a Mary Sue...

Interesting, looking forward to see comets whole story soon

So, is this Starboy rewrite? :P

Tirek was punished by a typo

9245056
No clue what the heck you're talking about, so no.

Cute, getting better in your writing, interesting that his greatest enemy is his own shadow, there is a irony to that on it's own. Keep it up.

9249492
Yes, I have evolved from writing on my phone to my desktop! That and we are actually getting into the parts of the story I have been dreaming of for ages. Up to this point was my attempt at figuring out how Comet got there.

Daww indeed! I sense adorableness in the future.

After that day, things progressed faster than the ponies working with Xomet

an interesting typo

Hey cool! another brony who used the name comet for a character, yeah how cool......

(internally raging)



I'm sorry

Well, finally caught up with this story, and boy it is different from the others like Prank War or Potion shop. Horror elements , me like)

It was that weird Final Fantasy villain in the intro!

A very extensive vocabulary for a twelve-year-old.

Will this return?

10986123
Someday. I plan to do a full reset on it, once I'm better.

But right bow I'm pulling 12 hour shifts most days of the week at the post office, and trying to become a voice actor, so I'm a tad busy trying to make sure I have finances first.

10986135
Ok, I wish you luck!

Hope things have changed since then... Glad to see you online

Login or register to comment