• Member Since 3rd Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen June 15th

DJ and Krahtorra


A collab account between Mordred and LordKrahtorra.

Comments ( 95 )

This story is stupid and I loved every second of it. I will definitely be keeping an eye on this one.

This needs some TFS references.

9088044
We may or may not have some in the future. Really depends on whether or not I can remember any. Also, I as in NeoLegendDJ, not LordKrahtorra

I had to stop
From the point of meeting the princesses, to several paragraphs into talking with the Mane 6, it was very rushed. You were doing so well too, good story at the start, and while the interaction of the guards was awkward, it was at least made up for it in bringing the MCs to the princesses. Everything after that was like you just couldn't wait, you needed those shipping lanes charted and the ships out to sea in the same day, learning later that they're empty of material and lacking fuel.

So I gotta pass for now, hopefully it'll get better if I come across this again later

Hey clones! A warning don't start getting laid in that world! It's weird!

Much memes and no please kill those THOTS before they get pregnant!

Constructive criticism, everything's moving much to fast and everyone's way too calm for what's happening. Also no one immediately just explains stuff like how they can respawn casually like that.

This story seems like it was made for me or based off of what goes on in my head

Quite a fast pace you got going here. Of you're hyping the characters like that then cool, but they sorta just blended together in my head. Didn't really have their own voice.

There was also a lot of telling when it came to interactions with the others, especially the sisters. Try to describe more with added dialogue to add to the scene. Show vs. Telling can immensely help a story be that much better.

Still love what you've done so far

I hid behind William, not wanting her anywhere near me “NOPE! Begone THOT!” At my shout, the castle trembled a little, before I saw Celestia and Luna, who looked pissed at us.

*ascends*

*confused screaming*

Pretty sick, definitely feels well fleshed out. Should be interesting to see you play out this with dark magic users that cannot die. Especially ones that are already so powerful.

Awesome!

Finally, somebody calls twilight out on her shit! Now they just need to get Celestia.

bro, this story is addicting as all hell! when is the next chapter due to come out? but take your time, you can't rush genius.

the only complaint I have is pacing its fast but not like "oh hey bad guy *two seconds later* oh hey the bad guy is gone and forgotten"
it's more of a somewhat drawn out conversation and it gives me a headache but other than that this is amazing

The dragon… moaned girlishly… oh my god it’s a GAY dragon! “Mmmm, what can I help you two sweeties with?” At this, it wiggled its back slightly, causing the crystal to go in further. William went pale and vomited, and I frowned at an upcoming awkward situation.

Hah gayyy!

That is true ponies are racist as hell

I chuckled slightly at the sight of the mare panicking, and walked in the front door of the restaurant. Upon seeing my corpse, I pulled from my hobby of acting and screamed, “CHAUNCEY! NOOOO! MY ONLY BROTHER!” I pointed at the still panicking mare. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU BITCH?!”

Bravo, sir.

I forgot to ask, did they model their house off of the Great Deku Tree?

9119553
think of a combination of that and Zecora's house and you got it, though it's like six times bigger than Zecora's house.

NeoLegendDJ

Time for William to dip?
Dip what?
Himself?
Is he going to turn himself human again.

9121447
Nope, he flew through Canterlot, and was seen by the ponies in Ponyville, so he essentially shafted himself into staying as a pony most of the time. Also, 'dip' as in 'leave' not literally dip himself.

NeoLegendDJ

ahhhhhhhh even beter than the original episode

“I just wanted to welcome you home, master, do you want dinner? A bath? Or… me?” I froze up at that and frowned, unknowing of how I should proceed,

Really that anime line XD

I guarantee at least one of the dislikes on this story is because of this particular chapter not portraying ponies as being perfect, objectively morally good individuals. Man, people need to realize that even in the show they're not like that. Altruistic, yes, but not perfectly good.

This is absolutely amazing. I went through all 10 currently published chapters probably without even blinking, and you left me wanting more. Good job taking the "OP Random Protagonist Buddies" cliche and actually making it interesting. Looking forward to more stuff.

9123495
If you've read to the end, you know that Rarity is a total bitch, who only uses Spike and is generally racist. We tried to make the universe the story is set in as realistic as possible, at least psychologically/politically speaking, especially in the case of racism.

NeoLegendDJ

Hey, who here would like an AU fic for Yog x Pinkie?

“Hey, give me one of those large rubies.” William said to me as we entered the large empty room of floor four. I pulled one out of the bag of holding, and tossed it to him. He caught it, and a twisted stand rose out of the dark wood of the floor. He placed it on top, and tendrils sprang from the wood and wrapped around the large ruby. A red flame ignited in the depths of the ruby, and William placed his hand on the surface of the gem. A projection above the stand, and Canterlot was visible. He zoomed it in on the castle, then on the throne room, where the ponies inside around Celestia started panicking. In one of the walls, a clear reflection of what was causing the ponies to panic was visible. It was a large, fiery purple eye with a slitted pupil, floating in the air. Celestia was laughing her ass off, seemingly having recognized William’s magic.

William shut off the feed, and turned to me, “Palantir?”

I nodded once. “Palantir,” I confirmed.

Iluvatar damnit!:rainbowlaugh:

9160910
Nah fam, Palantir from Minas Ithil in Middle Earth: Shadow of War.

NeoLegendDJ

Now time for a victory ree! F:flutterrage:CKING NORMY'S REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

9123397
NOOOOOO KANNA MY ONLY WEAKNESS!

I laughed, ”Hey, I just realized, my favorite cereal has the same name as you. Bet you must taste delicious~!”

orig00.deviantart.net/8881/f/2011/132/4/5/applejack_cereal_by_overlordraiden-d3g6yf4.png

Not exactly but... here is a joke skip to minute 34:25

MLP FiM: Bride of Discord-Episode 9 (The Relapse)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DTaDgryhoQ&t=2127s

“He has a point, sugarcube,” Applejack drawled.

Well originally Flutters could overcome her fear of dragons and sutch and some friendship lesson or something .
Well here are the warriors .

William and I introduced ourselves, and the second guard said, “By decree of Prince Blueblood the XIII, no non-pony races may enter Canterlot, with the exception of diplomatic envoys. Are you part of a diplomatic envoy?”

THAT PRINCE BLOOD IS RACIST AND I THINK DESERVES THIS . HE ALLREADY HAS A HUGE POLE
farbrorstark.se/onewebmedia/Korpsmide-4.jpg NOW THAT WILLL SHOW IT OUTSIDE BECAUSE THAT DECREE IS RACISTIC DEGRADATING BULLSHIT JUNK

THAT WAS A BIG PART WICH MADE DISCORD A MONSTER BECAUSE WAS EGGED TO BE CONSTANTLY AND PEOPLE LIKE BLOOBLOOD MUST BE ON POLE .

William and I introduced ourselves, and the second guard said, “By decree of Prince Blueblood the XIII, no non-pony races may enter Canterlot, with the exception of diplomatic envoys. Are you part of a diplomatic envoy?”

Celestia had already read the scroll by the time that I had written, along with the naming of who did what specifically, and was already fuming with anger, the room raising dramatically in temperature. When I told her about Blueblood, her mane went aflame, “HE WHAT?!”

THIS IS PRETTY , AND LOT OFP DISPLACERS MAY BE WELCOMED WITH HOSTILITY MISTRUST AND BASICLY AGRESSION IN LOTS OTHER ALTERNATIVES .
well this is the dead beat of blue blood

[Epic Battle Fantasy 2 Soundtrack] Hydra Boss - Twins of Duality

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfs9QyuMq5Q

“And, I responded, under the impression that this shit was so unbelievable that you thought I made an elaborate illusion just to troll you, including physical sensations. The best part is, that’s true.” I snapped awake, Ruby shaking my shoulder, William, or Hades, still sitting with mismatched wings and an altered cutie mark.

reminds me dracoequinos with alicorn and dragon wing

That is hilarious . update please

9161056
eyy that shit is cannon shadow is not (the video game series) shadow are non-cannon side games to have you play in Mordor without making the mc an ork or Uruk


pippin almost had a seizure in the original trilogy from just holding it and Saruman had it in his tower

This story started so unbearably fast, that I couldn't even figure out what was happening or where they were half the time. Hell, sometimes I had to struggle to figure out who was actually talking at some points. It felt like every paragraph was a chapter synopsis, and it was difficult figuring out the MCs personalities.

Gotta say, glad I stuck through it. Figured I'd give it a shot regardless, see if it improved and it definitely has. Still a touch faster than I'm used to, but I can at least follow what's happening. My biggest piece of advice is one that, by now, you seem to be getting the hang of: Show, don't tell. It's tempting, and hell, even appropriate sometimes, to just put "He was angry. He said,", but it's a lot more visual and invoking to say something akin to "A fire burned inside him, rage overtaking him. With a glare and a stomp, he spoke"

Hope this isn't something you've been told several times before, I know how annoying that can be. I'll definitely be watching this story, both for the story itself and to see ya grow as a writer!

9199472
Nah, it's cool. Krahtorra's writing style is more tell not show, where mine is the opposite. Since this was initially his brainchild, in the beginning a lot of the writing was done by him, though now it's more balanced out.

~NeoLegendDJ~

great chapter and i hope to see more soon

So they are overpowered as shit, because every time they die they get duplicates of everything they had on them, and get 2 times more powerful by obsorbing the power of their previous bodies, or get an undead servant. And not just one of them gets more powerful they both do by by absorbing something different about the bodies. I cannot wait to see how they abuse the shit out of this.

9170164
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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