• Published 8th Jul 2018
  • 19,977 Views, 29 Comments

The Everlasting, Everloving Sun - little big pony



Celestia enjoys a night of intimacy with her lover

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Comments ( 29 )

Mmmm... I love me your romance and clop stories, littlebig. I really do. Celestia romance and sex. Mmmmnf.

Gah, I love it; it's so cute! Love how Celestia is gentle-dominant in this. "This human is my human!"

One of the more adorable things I've ever read :yay:

simple short Celestia only view... i like it

Almost makes me wish I could do Human in Equestria fics without feeling awkward.

The bed creaked.The sounds of bodies sliding against each other filled the air.

Celestia leaned back, a hum escaping her throat as she felt the cock inside of her hilt. She held the position, closing her eyes to properly enjoy the smell of sex and sweat, the feeling of her lover's hands helplessly paw at her rump, the musky hotness of the room.

The alicorn grinded her hips in lazy circles. The cock inside of her twitched.

A grunt could be heard as the hands tightened around her flank, causing her to smile to herself. She lifted her hips, raising herself from that cock, allowing half of it's length to withdraw from her before it felt unnatural and she let herself fall down. A satisfyingly wet, meaty slap filled the air as her rump connected his lap.

Yikes.

This is why you don't publish unedited first drafts, folks.

Surprisingly well-written intimacy. More of a sensual piece than anything else, which I can appreciate.

Regidar #9 · Jul 10th, 2018 · · 19 ·

Were you drunk when you posted this?

There are so many errors that could be caught by looking over the story exactly once. For fuck's sake, your description doesn't even have a period ending the sentence.

EDIT: Yeah, how dare I ask for even the most basic of grade school level editing. I must be some mean bully.

With some pride, Celestia also noticed that his gaunt was a little stiff.

Gaunt means skinny or emaciated. Gait refers to stride.

9037237
I mean, he's not wrong. Look at the amount of errors I highlighted in the first 4 paragraphs alone, not to mention the examples of mediocre writing. Overall, it gives the impression that this story took maybe 20 minutes to write and publish.

9037421
It's also unlikely to receive any editing as i'm sure LBP got the attention he wanted from this story and has moved on to write other things

9037444
I'll probably edit this thing this weekend. I also don't remember writing this, so I probably was pretty smashed.

9037452
Yeah, in the future, try not to do that.

I apologize for being such a cunt, however please do try and publish stories that aren't so blatantly unedited. It's a bit of a backhand to people who spend time on their stuff, and you yourself have easily shown that you are more than capable of publishing things of a much higher quality than this. This is not to speak of the subject matter of the story itself (people are free to write whatever they wish)--but the simple grammatical and punctuation errors in the body of it are sort of an embarrassment.

Had someone without your follower account or prestige posted this story, it would have been downvoted bombed. This isn't exactly your fault though; if anything, I'm more annoyed at your fans for not stepping up and pointing out the obvious errors that plague this.

9037572
I'll try to sit down with drunk me and have a nice long chat. I don't think it'll do much though. That guy is a bit of a cunt.

9037584
I know that as well as anyone. Drink is not conducive to good work.

Again, I apologize for being so lofty and harsh. It's only because I care.

This reads like Dragks,
My little princess

I have a question: why would a pony princess have a crush on a human commoner?

9357501
Because love is blind.

9396104
So what would you do if one of the princesses had a crush on you (and perhaps wanted to mate with you)? Keep in mind that Luna may be able to accomplish that in your dreams.

9396636
It's just that I've had a recurring dream where Luna has a crush on me and wants to mate with me. It's probably just the product of my weird imagination, but I'm a little bit unsure of how to proceed.

9396684
Dude... It's either your dream (in which case, whatever - do it), or there's a microscoping chance she's real - in which case if you don't, I'll find and rape your sorry ass tickle you. ;]

9649091
Any particular reason you would?

9649152
There. Better? I may be a little... heavy-handed with my attempts at "humor". No offense truly meant.


What I meant to say was that it would be a tremendous opportunity, and those of us who'd take it in a heartbeat would probably resent you if you didn't, is all.

9396684
"Listen, there's no time to explain! The multiverse is collapsing and the only way to save everything is to screw me--no, I can't explain how, it's complicated. Just trust me, okay? NOW GIVE ME YOUR RED-HOT MONKEY LOVE, HERO!"
:raritystarry:
And once again, the world was saved by clop.

Because he was HER'S.

Oh yes, this is what I like. :pinkiecrazy:

Because he was HER'S.

Ah yes the tables have turn

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