A steaming cup of coffee that will never spill – the perfect gift for a dad!
Rarity had just come home after a month to find out how much Sweetie Belle have missed their mother. What she saw hits her hard in the feels.
In this fic, Rarity and Sweetie Belle's mother, Cookie Crumbles, has already passed on.
First story I've ever wrote. Go easy on me.
Cover by some guy called D Tomoyo on DeviantArt.
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That was beautiful
This is a very sweet story! I like the idea of the narrator telling the story without direct dialogue from the characters. It makes the story have the feel of Rarity seeing the situation as an observer would. I loved Rarity's reaction and the way she helped Sweetie Belle.
Reading this makes me want an episode where Rarity and Sweetie Belle deal with their parents, since they're very affected by their absence and negligence.
Great first try, by the way!
8857056
Thank you.
8857636
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!
Oh, my, did Sweetie and Rarity's mom pass away?
I have to say, this is stunning to be your first story ever. (Maybe your just that good
) You nailed the emotions, that's quite a plus. Really got me there.
But umm... Looks like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon did't really do much to the plot. The later “Sweetie Belle alone" scene also seemed kinda... forced... I guess?
Sweetie herself totally coulda just chose to stay behind after the class because she was sad and wanted to alone. No need for an earlier drama.
So, no Diamond Tiara, no Silver Spoon, therefore no punishment, just Sweetie Belle dealing with her own emotions. That way I figure the scene would come out a lot more natural.
Still, you just kicked a good start! Great to see more ponies joining the herd!
Godspeed partner and keep it up!
8858191
Thank you! I'll try not to add in unecessary bits in next time. 😆
8860512
It's okay, your welcome.
To be honest, this was technically my first review ever you just replied to.
You really honored me