A bored delinquent and an exiled prodigy. When a MyStable profile called Anon-A-Miss sabotages all of Sunset's hard work and leaves her friendless except for a chance encounter, will she come back from it?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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HOLY- ALMOST 20 THOUSAND WORDS?! I mean, great, but good lord! Thank you for an entire day's worth of reading!!
Fuuuck... that reveal of who Pawnee is, though...
Fuck...that's the only word I can say to process that.
Fuck...
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9167335
I said it was a monster chapter in my blog post,
9167335
Been slow-boiling that since this line from chapter 4:
Shit. I don't know who, but someone is gonna get fucked up.
Edit: also, what's the gay couple count at now? 5? 6? I can't even remember if there was any straight couples so far, which I absolutely don't mind since lesbian couples are written adorably <3
Shit, shit, and more shit! Just holy shit... Only way to describe my reaction to this chapter. I was hoping Pawnee would be a creep, expecting it, but this... this just blew any thoughts of that being the case out of the bloody waters. Torpedoed them!
9167478
I take that as a compliment.
Called it, I knew it was zee.
Well shiiiiitttttttttttttttttt
Well, if nothing else, at least Pawnee isn't some psycho looking to hurt Twilight.
Shit.
Damn you for creating such an enticing cliffhanger.
I must have more immediately
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I disagree. Notice how she introduced herself as Grizelda KING. As in Storm King.
Juxtaposed with the whole scene of someone leaving hate-flowers on their parents' grave in the same chapter (and how she was supposed to be dead), at this point I'm actually expecting Zee to still be loyal to their old gang boss, and very much NOT to Gilda. Which I can't see going well for Twilight in any capacity whenever these two subplots properly collide.
---
Anyway, delightful story you have here so far, I-A-M; bit heavy on the melodrama, and Sunset and Gilda sometimes seem to be just on the unhealthy side of codependent (and I'm hoping this is the point where Sunset starts turning around toward making up with the Rainbooms, because with as far as this story has come into its own unique plot, her drama with the rainbooms is starting to feel a little...."yeah I get it" at this point), but honestly the rest of the story is just so good and engaging it more than makes up for these flaws.
Following this one with baited breath.
9167594
Yeah, now that you bring that up, it really sets my worries about Pawnee off again. If I were Twilight, I'd be getting out of there fast. Speaking of Kings, wonder where Tempest is in all of this?
Can i give you a bear hug and hi-5 for always being able to dish out great quality chapters? I swear they never cease to impress me or have me finish a chapter in shock, happiness or a few tears in my eyes. Also, no pressure I just felt you should know how much your readers enjoy your content
9167594
Sunset and Gilda are definitely on the unhealthy side of codependent, but that being said they're also not so far on that side that they don't recognise where they are. It's sort of like knowing you're depressed; you can take steps to mitigate it, you can do your best to live your life around your symptoms, but in the end it's still there. Sunset, and to a certain but less articulate extent Gilda, are fully aware that they probably rely on each other's presence a little too much to be healthy, Sunset has even articulated as such a few times, but also admitted to herself that as she is now she doesn't really have the strength to be without that emotional prop that Gilda represents, and Gilda likewise.
As for the Rainbooms, yeah, don't sweat that, she's definitely on the road. Though I feel like a lot of people missed the point of the photo album scene. That scene wasn't about Sunset, yeah she was the featuring character and was reacting to it, but it wasn't about her it was about the Rainbooms. It was showing how they decided to approach apologising to Sunset, because they realised that no apology would ever really be enough to abandoning her like they did. So instead, they extended an olive branch for peace, not necessarily reconciliation, just peace, and the hope that she finds happiness somewhere.
Oh boy
This is gonna go so far sideways it lands in te lake
I can’t wait
Moar you magnificent bastard
Not enough. I need more.
Damn though, I want expecting that at all. Equestrian version, it is it the real deal from here? The username suggests equestrian, but the tattoos and such imply otherwise.
9167746
I just gave you 20000 more words, damn it, I'm only one pair of hands on a keyboard.
Then you shall hire monkeys!
i'm curious any chance i could get some links for this?
Well st son. That was a bombshell.
I am hearing her as a Yorkshire Lass, that the intention?
9168091
Gonna have to get a more hands surgery and buy a few more keyboards then. My thirst shall never be sated.
please sunset don't forgive them on account of a book, that would be incredibly shallow of them and of you.
"Really got get better at"
"Really got to get better at", or some dialect-modified version of the same?
"sighing Gilda laid back and stared up at the snowy skies."
"Sighing, Gilda lay back and stared up at the snowy skies."?
"just faint scarring on the back of hand"
"just faint scarring on the back of her hand"?
"to ask the questions she wanted to ask, and in fairness she had never needed to ask this question before"
Is it one question, or multiple?
"held the phone up to to her ear as she took"
"held the phone up to her ear as she took"?
"as an editor for the such august personages"
"as an editor for such august personages"?
"who spent all of her time her garage"
"who spent all of her time in her garage"?
"Twilight shrieked as she tore out of the basement at high speed"
"Twilight shrieked as she tore out of the garage at high speed"?
Her laboratory is in the garage and she's going to her room, so I'm not sure why she'd have been using her computer in the basement.
"Even on her multiplayer online games which her husband Night Light had gotten"
"Even her multiplayer online games, which her father Night Light had gotten"?
"as he pulled her off to the."
Missing word(s)?
"as he retreated back to office to get his shoes"
"as he retreated back to the office to get his shoes"?
"in something will not blind her date"
"in something that will not blind her date"?
"where she got them Velvet no idea"
"where she got them Velvet had no idea"?
"but smile as daughter went on and on about the girl, in truth she had never"
"but smile as her daughter went on and on about the girl; in truth she had never"?
"Twilight, not wanting to lie."
"Twilight said, not wanting to lie."?
"An high, and vaguely familiar"
"a high, and vaguely familiar"?
"putting her in directly Twilight’s path"
"putting her directly in Twilight’s path"?
"She stopped directly in front Twilight"
"She stopped directly in front of Twilight"?
"heard a sharp snap, her eyes widened as she the girl pull gleaming steel"
"heard a sharp snap, and her eyes widened as the girl pulled a gleaming steel"?
"and nodded, looking spooked as she retreated back to his"
"and nodded, looking spooked as he retreated back to his"?
"pulling Twilight into sideways hug"
"pulling Twilight into a sideways hug"?
"Twilight replied in soft voice"
"Twilight replied in a soft voice"?
"her face as tried desperately to banish"
"her face as she tried desperately to banish"?
"pace to the side and glare at the three girls"
"pace to the side and glared at the three girls"?
"Pawnee hissed as from inches away behind"
"Pawnee hissed from inches away behind"?
"don’t want you hurt people for"
"don’t want you to hurt people for"?
"but I don’t want you hurt people"
"but I don’t want you to hurt people"?
"her head to beat of the song with a smile"
"her head to the beat of the song with a smile"?
"Turn around to face Twilight"
"Turning around to face Twilight"?
"Good t’meetcha, the name’s Grizelda King… call me Zee."
...Yep! I was wondering this past little bit, but, well. Still a surprise. Never found the body, indeed...
And what's she up to?
And how is this going to develop? :D
...Also, was this once two chapters? This looks like a chapter-ending cliffhanger, and it's about halfway through.
"~Ponyville Commons, January 9th, Mid-Afternoon~
~Ponyville Commons, January 9th, Mid-Afternoon~"
I assume that there should have been only one of those, presumably the top one?
"she pulled her key from ehr pocket and"
"she pulled her key from her pocket and"?
"though only she only really regularly spoke to Adagio"
"though she only really regularly spoke to Adagio"?
"shoulder at let out a heartfelt and happy sigh"
"shoulder and let out a heartfelt and happy sigh"?
"Gilda cheeks warmed to a red blush and she"
"Gilda's cheeks warmed to a red blush and she"?
"off layers and throw them to the side"
"off layers and throwing them to the side"?
"the leathers there’d a load more damage"
"the leathers there’d be a load more damage"?
"grip on the trap and pulling it off"
"grip on the tarp and pulling it off"?
"easily finding the places to the chair down"
"easily finding the places to tie the chair down"?
"had absolutely nothing nothing to do"
"had absolutely nothing to do"?
"before Gilda turned to picked up her girlfriend and"
"before Gilda turned to pick up her girlfriend and"?
"Gilda pulled off her leathers and smoothing out her tuxedo as she did, and stowed them in side-pouch of the chair before getting behind to start pushing Sunset forwards the entrance."
"Gilda pulled off her leathers and smoothed out her tuxedo as she did, and stowed them in a side-pouch of the chair before getting behind to start pushing Sunset towards the entrance."?
"bring her and Gilda to a sudden"
"bringing her and Gilda to a sudden"?
"it had especially designed with someone"
"it had been specially designed with someone"?
"back up at Sunset and licking her lips"
"back up at Sunset, licking her lips"?
"It’s a common pegasi talent"
"It’s a common pegasus talent"?
"fingers with Gilda’s gently tracing the lines of"
"fingers with Gilda’s, gently tracing the lines of"?
"as if they weren’t listen to what sounded like"
"as if they weren’t listening to what sounded like"?
"So as far as I know, no one guessed Pawnee's true identity, although I'm a little surprised because I'd actually been worrying that I was being too overt about it."
Too overt? If you were, I didn't see it! :D
I only even started to suspect after Pawnee had already appeared and identified herself as Pawnee to Twilight, and not right away then, either.
"Her character is actually a scrapped design that never made it into the show, Lauren Faust even went so far as to do concept art of her, which led to me finding a piece of fanart someone did and having this idea."
...Huh. Interesting. Very interesting! Will we be hearing more about that?
"Anyway, hope you all enjoy this long chapter (even by my standards this one was kind of a monster.)"
I did, yes! But, uh, yeah, kind of a long one. Whew. :)
Bullshit, she'd be wonderful in Black. Now, having the patience to be an evil overlord ruler, well...
Griselda non withstanding, I'm curious about Sunny's magic. Shouldn't some of the big challenges of being wheelchair bound be bypassed by telekinesis? But Sunset seems to have forgotten she's gotten it again. Or did she consciously choose not to use it to adapt more "naturally" or such to her condition?
I guessed Pawnee’s identity only after she started speaking to Twilight. At first I thought it was Gilda, but wasn’t sure until before she said her name. I literally said, ‘Oh s***, that’s Zee.’
Well done. I just hope Sunset doesn’t get hurt by Zee. Or left for Zee. Or hurt by Gilda for mentioning Zee.
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you have no idea how glad I am that someone noticed that. yeah, she's 100% yorkshire lass, and on that note, do you have any idea how hard it is to write in a proper yorkshire accent without making it completely unintelligible?! Yorkshire is a very specific accent and vocabulary.
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Boyo, you should try writing the Welsh accents that are out there! I can never even use cwtch without having to explain it!
Glad I read it right, but now you have to have a good end there! The accent already has me fond of her.
9169008
Hm, I’ll be honest I’m very on the fence about Zee’s ending, and whether or not it’ll be good. You’ll see why when I get to the endgame stretch of this arc. It’s definitely a possibility though.
9169366
Alright then, I shall reserve judgment and prepare my emotion bits.
Ah shit, this can't end well... *Sees Gilda freak the fuck out* Call it....
holy fuck this chapter killed me. poor gilda. poor sunset. i say as i cry in the corner
To be honest, my first thought for the identity of pawnee was the human sunset. I was clearly wrong lol
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as always, I truly appreciate your input and talents, thank you for your work!
9175696
Heh, thanks, and you're welcome. Happy to help. :)
I think you already see it.
9168349
Agreed.
NO
DONT YOU FUCKING DARE
BAD STORY, HEEL -whips out a newspaper-
....
clicks next chapter and keeps reading <.<;;;
That Tachyon joke was fucking hilarious. But I think mostly because I totally thought she flubbed it until the actual punchline came.
So many fucking red flags and the father is still begging to let their daughter have this. I shouldn't need to warn people in this day and age but don't parent like this people. This is a one way ticket to getting your daughter kidnapped. At bare minimum you agree to meet the person with your child and that's without seeing all these red flags. Get their name and face in person so you know who to hunt down if your child gets kidnapped.
When your child is this infatuated with someone who's name they don't even know, whose face they've never seen it's a big red flag that either the person on the other end is manipulative or your child is way too vulnerable to the situation.
I FUCKIN KNEW IT FROM WHEN SHE FIRST CAME IN
Okay, I'm finally going to leave a comment on this after slowly getting to this point. The reveal of Pawnee's identity was, at least to me, incredibly obvious. The first time they said "savv" online, I knew it, so yeah.
I'm glad some of the Siren backstory carried into your Rules series, because those are cool characters. I'm on mobile, so this is coming out choppy, but... I just have mixed thoughts on certain aspects of the story. One is just my hatred of the "Anon-a-miss" concept, and others just from the handling of other things...
~SolidFire
Gilda Grimfeather, you have good taste in motorcycles
I'm sorry but what? Whos the necromancer that dug up Gilda's old flame?
10016829
Plus your kid has never any friends before and despite knowing facts she has very little real world experience with anything that doesn't involve learning. Talk about asking for trouble.
CALLLEDDDDD ITTTTT~
Poor Twiggles, she is a little smol bean who must be protected. I hope she doesn't regret this.
I like this part. It is nice to see Sunset slowly adapting to her new life.