A Change of Heart

by Silent Whisper

4 - Consequences Abound

I can’t move. I can’t think. None of this makes any sense. I’m… dead? Why in Equestria would she tell ponies that I’m dead? That’s just horrible! While logically, I suppose it makes sense, it still feels wrong and terrible. And my parents deserve to know I’m alive, even though I can’t remember them. I don’t even know what they look like, but they remember me, and they think I’m…

No. No, this can’t be happening! I pull away from my Queen, trying to think and not think about it at the same time. Am I hyperventilating? I think I am. I can hear my pulse roaring in my ears. Is this a normal response to being told you’re dead? Is there a normal response?

It doesn’t even feel real, and I think that’s the part that scares me the most. There’s this odd sort of detachment I’m feeling, like I’m watching myself from a distance go through the motions of feeling, and it makes absolutely no sense to me. I get the feeling that I should be more upset, that I should be screaming at my Queen, sobbing uncontrollably, but no tears will come. My eyes kind of hurt from trying to cry, and I take a deep breath to control myself.

The hivemind sends me reassuring thoughts. They must have prepared for my reaction. I don’t know what to say. Between the frequent pingings of It’ll be okay and We’ll be your family now!, I can’t shake the peculiar sensation that they’re trying to suppress how I feel. I know that isn’t their intent, and I can sense that they mean nothing but love and compassion.

It’s the strangest thing, being one little blip of emotion in a vast sea of consciousness. Its like looking at a crowd through a blurry pane of glass. Everyling is still an individual, but the line between one and the next is smudged. Can you really be certain that that’s this one ling’s hoof and not another’s? Emotions are blurred the same way. I can’t tell if I feel reassured, or if that’s other changelings’ emotions that I’m feeling.

It’s the nothingness that scares me the most. I can’t deal with it, and I take a step back, and then another. My Queen does nothing to try to stop me. I can feel her sadness, her helpless grief, and a twinge of something else that I can’t quite place. Guilt, perhaps? It isn’t her fault, though, that I’m dead, and it isn’t her that I’m mad at, and I’m not quite mad either. My next step away presses my hoof against the edge of the bridge between the castle towers. The feeling of almost losing balance brings me back for a moment, and for a second I feel rational and in control.

Then that moment disappears, and I rear up and lean back, overbalancing and plummeting off the bridge. My Queen’s face grows smaller and smaller. Her expression doesn’t change. I suppose if I were to do nothing about my fall, a group of changelings would gather below to break my fall, but I don’t care. I’m not going to kill myself, I just need to get away, fast, and I suspect she knows that.

My wings unfurl, and the wing roaring past my primaries feels nice and cool. It’s comforting, and feels almost right somehow. Then the speed I’m falling catches up with me, and the wind yanks my wings up painfully. Ouch. Note to self: don’t suddenly unfurl your wings while falling.

I flap my wings down hard, once, then again and again, faster and faster. They make a heavy thwoosh as my wings fight to keep me aloft. I angle my body downward instinctively, trying not to fight the fall but to work with it instead.

Swooping low, I let out an exhilarated cry as I soar over the castle grounds, the wind blasting me in the face. Somehow, the rush of flying clears away my troubles for a little bit. I rack my brain, trying to think of some sort of solution to all of this. Maybe I’m just overthinking everything, and inadvertently causing my own misery.

And then it hit me. Not a solution to my problems, just the ground. My wing brushes against the side of a building, and that’s the only warning I get to brace myself before I faceplant into the cold stone ground. I wasn’t going too fast, thankfully, but it hurts nonetheless. I brush gravel and dirt off my face as I pick myself off the ground, looking up to spot a hoof outstretched for me. I accept it wearily and look into the face of Axiom.

“So, how’d it go?” She chirps hesitantly, helping me brush myself off. Her hair is frazzled, her hooves dusty, and it’s not helping me clean off much despite her best efforts. She must have been pacing outside the palace, waiting for me.

“Not too great,” I say. As I’m taking a deep breath to start explaining what happened to me I catch the odd look in her eye. It’s some form of guilt, and sorrow, and desperation for… something, I’m not quite sure yet. Oh. She knows. She always knew. I don’t know how I feel about that.

“Well,” she begins, leading me down the straightedged streets of Hive Central towards the left side of the Outskirts. “I know it must really suck, and I wish I were good at comforting ponies, but… well, you’re a changeling, like it or not. And it sucks that your family doesn’t- doesn’t know that you’re alive. But we can’t change that.”

Axiom shifts uncomfortably, and I almost want to comfort her, but I stop myself. Isn’t she trying to help me? “As Twilight Sparkle would say, friendship is the most important thing to focus on now. You’re here, in Hive Quarry, and it’s beautiful, and we’ll be your family!”

I sniffle. There are too many emotions conflicting with each other, so much that I can’t make out where one begins and another ends, and I’m not even certain they’re all mine. There are too many thoughts, too many voices of other lings trying to comfort me, but Axiom’s here. I trust her. She’ll help me through it, even if her pep-talk skills need a bit of work. I’ve got a lot to work through, but I have time, and for now I think I’ll just try to drown it out in hive life, and see how it goes. It’ll get better, probably.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” I mumble, nodding. I wish I had tears to wipe away, but there’s nothing on my cheeks. Why aren’t I crying? Why aren’t I more sad? I don’t feel much, just overwhelmed, and that concerns me most of all.

“Yeah, so, um… come on! I’ll show you to your room! You’re gonna love it, I got you one right next to mine!” Axiom leads me onward, and I trail behind her, trying to ignore the nagging unfamiliar worries plaguing my mind.

---

Drone KI-77 scurries through the tunnels as fast as his hole-riddled legs can carry him. He crushes a stinging crab underneath his hoof as he scuttles, ducking below sharp stalactites that jut from the jungle cave’s ceiling. It is a death wish to stand completely upright, but his spine and legs are begging him to do so.

Slowing down means death as well, though; just last week, KI-77 saw the carcass of his sibling after some of the stinging crabs had caught up to her. Those miserable creatures had left little more than a twitching husk behind. They’re small, with a scorpion’s tail, and pinchers the size of their body. While they have chitin like a changeling, theirs is grey and mottled, blending into the stone of the deeper reaches of the jungle caves. They’re deceptively fast, and their sting renders their victim immobile as they crack open a changeling’s tough chitin and feast on their softer insides.

KI-77 shudders at the graphic memory and continues onward, ignoring the burning in his leg muscles. It isn’t much further now. Thankfully, his Queen had decided to let them take respite relatively close to the entrance. Most ponies didn’t venture this far into the Forbidden Jungle, and those that did never made it out alive anyways, so they didn’t have to worry about being discovered.

Those ponies. They had to go and ruin the Hive, didn’t they? They turned his brothers and sisters into monsters! KI-77 hates them with what little energy and attention he can muster as he creeps about in the dark. His glowing eyes and the tattered remains of his hivemind leads the way as he navigates through the cave.

The stone spires tower above him as he narrowly misses one, almost hooking his wing on it. KI-77 heard that one of his remaining normal siblings tore their wing from hole to edge on one of the stalactites. They’re sharper than they look, and intimidating as the Queen herself. He can’t be late, though. That would be the worst possible thing! Especially since he was cut off from her hivemind for his mission. She wouldn’t tolerate excuses, no matter the cause, no matter how important this mission was for the good of the Hive and changelingkind.

Of course, his Queen won’t exactly be thrilled that he managed to fail the mission in the worst possible way.

He takes a deep breath and straightens as the stalactites arc towards the ceiling of the cavern. Most of the tips here are broken off, so it’s more or less safe to walk. He turns around one bend of the tunnel, then another. A snap to his left makes his ear flick, and is all the warning he receives before an explosion of emerald flames dances in his vision. KI-77 blinks the spots from his eyes as he takes a step back.

The flickering firelight reveals a large, spherical room. Flames dance on the perimeter. Changeling fire helps to ward away the stinging crabs and other horrible creatures that stalk the caves in the Forbidden Jungle, but doesn’t negate the need for guards. A few changelings patrol the border, silhouetted by the flames. Towards the center of the sphere’s valley, wax and chitin form a patchwork nursery for the couple of grubs his Queen had managed to produce, and a few haphazard pods for his siblings to catch a few meager hours of rest in between their duties. It wasn’t much, but living in the Jungle didn’t make life easy, and there was no time for anything other than work.

Not that his Hive had traditionally done much outside of duties anyway. There was always training to get better, and a few unfortunate changelings had more free will than the average soldier, and came up with new tactics. KI-77 shuddered at that thought. Free will was a dangerous thing. It was a rebellious desire for free will that had torn apart his Hive. Now, it is a fragile husk of its once-greatness. It’s a sorry sight to see, especially when KI-77 can fondly remember the Hive at all its glory.

Towards the far edge of the spherical room lies a misshapen mound. It’s built out of anything the Hive’s tattered remnants could find, from the husked shells of his less-fortunate siblings to particularly sparkly rocks. Soldiers weren’t made to find pretty things, but they made due. The Queen must have an awe-inspiring and ferocious throne, after all.

The Queen. KI-77 gulps as he edges his way towards her. She lies sprawled across a fire-smoothed slab of obsidian, perched regally as a former spy polishes her weathered hooves to a dull sheen. Her head rests against one of his former sibling’s back shell. Ah, HR-91. She was one of the first to die, killed by a toxic speedsnail after she had fallen unconscious during guard duty. Miserable wretch. The fact that she was love-starved was irrelevant - she should have fought harder to stay awake while guarding her Queen. And yet, she still managed to find some sort of honor in death, by granting her beloved Queen a place to rest her weary royal head.

KI-77 is almost jealous of his former sister as he trembled before his Queen. Oh, is she a sight to behold, the epitome of perfection and splendor. Even when her subjects failed and deserted her, she still glows with might and strength. Though the Hive was weakened, it does not falter, thanks to her grand guidance! KI-77 could chitter praises to her for eternity and still not be satisfied, but that isn't what she wishes of him. Instead, he crouches low at her hooves, one shaky hoof pressed to his thorax as though it was the only thing keeping his heart from shattering at the presence of his Queen.

His Queen wasperfection, and he had failed her. He had failed in the single most important task she could have possibly given him, a lowly agent whose sole purpose before her divine duty was to collect love in a whorehouse. Yes, he really wishes he were already dead. Will she hate him? Will she bestow her justice and wrath upon his weak, fragile shoulders? He doesn’t want to think about it, but he deserves it, surely. He would rather have died like his sister than return to see his Queen upset.

And Queen Chrysalis is not upset. She is furious.

Her wings vibrate with barely contained rage. The remains of the hivemind pulse and writhe with her anger, contorting with her rapid pulse. KI-77’s ears ring with her fury, and he clenches his teeth reflexively. She is mad, as mad as she was when that traitorous drone began an uprising and bastardized the hivemind.

“How dare you fail me,” she seethes, making KI-77 press his face into the ground in terror. Queen Chrysalis waves away the changeling desperately shining her hooves, and he flees in relieved silence. She stands, her body as imposing as the false-goddess alicorn’s. “How dare you fail the Hive, and how dare you fail the mission at hoof?”

KI-77 turns his head to the side, spitting out gravel. A few pieces stick to his cheek as he unclenches his jaw. He wants to respond, he wants to beg for mercy and her righteous judgement, but he knows not to speak out of turn, especially so soon after the rebellion. Such mutiny, even a small act, would add insult to the injury he’s caused his Queen.

Chrysalis hisses at the pathetic form of the failed spy. “Your duty was a simple one. You were to kill a pony. One pony. You had powerful weapons at your disposal. You had a clear shot on a dark night, the guards were distracted, and everything was perfect. And yet…” She yowls in rage, and a few of her children join in with her as her fury echoes through the hivemind.

Scowling, Chrysalis kicks the drone. He flinches, but makes no move to protect himself. “And yet, Flurry Heart still lives on. Our intelligence states that she is alive and healing, and is growing stronger despite this! She is well-guarded now, and our one chance to remove her from the picture and the potential clutches of those who wish to use her to gain power has been lost, thanks to your miserable failure.”

KI-77 cries into the dust and rock. His side throbs. His Queen must have bruised him underneath his brittle chitin, and it was a wonder he didn’t crack and fall apart. She scoffs at his mewling, weeping form. “Do you have anything to say for yourself, you waste of love and lifeblood?”

The drone blinks dirt and tears from his eyes and looks up at her. Her hooves are inches from his fragile form. Above those, her shiny black chitin forms the dim outline of her imposing chest and abdomen, highlighted by slivers of green. Her mane is brushed out, tenderly cared for by the few changelings she spares from guard duty to tend to her personal needs. Her fangs gleam an off-white, reflecting his scared crouched form. And above those, her eyes, slitted and impassive, glare down at him.

“My Queen,” he whispers, before swallowing and starting again. “My beloved, just, kind Queen, please, this drone begs forgiveness for his grave mistake.” He tenses below her, his gaze darting back down to the ground.

A smile flickers up the Queen’s cheeks, and the mood of the hivemind shifts. A few changelings sigh in their sleep as they huddle in the pods. The tension is broken, and Chrysalis nods slowly. The guards patrolling pick up their pace, relieved grins splitting their muzzles. Tenderly, the Queen’s hoof rests on her drone’s head, stroking his smooth, glassy chitin.

And then she steps down with all her weight. The whole hive flinches in unison at the crack of the unlucky drone’s skull. “You are forgiven,” Chrysalis tells the still-twitching corpse below her, before returning to recline on her throne. A changeling rushes up to clean off her hoof, and she holds it out with disgust, gazing into the flames flickering around the remains of her Hive. She will need a new plan. Her Hive depends on it.

Author's Note:

A huge thanks to Wobble and Cynewulf for being wonderful editors! You make me so happy!
And a great big shoutout to my patrons on Patreon! You give me the courage to keep writing. (If you want to join them, and preread snippets and get some pretty cool perks, you can support me on Patreon here!)

And, because one of my editors is fond of them, a few utterly useless facts about the toxic speedsnail:

• They're not particularly fast, just faster than the average snail. It is, therefore, both remarkable and pathetic that a changeling was killed by one. Don't fall asleep on the job, kids.
• They can't eat what they poisoned, so most of them starve to death. The only ones that survive to have millions of snail babies are the ones that happen upon stashes of food by sheer dumb luck.
• The one that killed HR-91 was red, because the red ones go faster.

Comments

[Ice Star]

Hooray, an update! It's nice to see progression in the storyline. Some more introspection from Flurry about her circumstance would be great to see in the future - there's a drama tag on this, after all!

Though, I'm still very suspicious of Hive Quarry. Do not trust these bugs.

[GSandSDS]

I think this story now the "dark" tag territory. ;)

[Keystroke Cascade]

I WUV IT

[TheGreen]

This is a take on the Changling-transformation plot. Flurry gives a great perspective on the society you've imagened (which is also great & unique).

Well written! Likable characters and an anticipated storyline.

[Silent Whisper]

8749097
8748603
Thank you so much! It's comments like yours that keep me writing! ♥

[tsaukpaetra]

Well it's unfortunate they know Flurry is still alive.
Soon enough she'll adapt. Soon enough we'll see if her hybrid status will be a boon or curse.
Keep going! ;)

[Micro-song]

Man, Chrysalis is as horrible as ever

[yamgoth]

The one that killed HR-91 was red, because the red ones go faster.

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freebooterkommand.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/motivator5758120.jpg?w=300&h=240
manasource.net/data/manasource/product/23unhinged.jpg

[Morphette1]

Wow, enthralling read! Love the detailed descriptions of the scenery, as well as the confusion Flurry exhibits over her situation. Can't wait to hear what happens next...

[fractalman]

• The one that killed HR-91 was red, because the red ones go faster.

"and this is why we don't create unholy fusions out of ork and snail biology."

[Starlight Nova]

Why does Flurry Heart have Bon Bon's hairstyle in the picture?

[Silent Whisper]

9270556
Honestly? Because that's how the artist decided to draw it, and I never specified it, so creative liscence! I think it's really cute!

[Edguy0009]

I wonder why they didn't make her a full changeling specifically a ROYAL changeling.

[Teraunce]

too bad this is dead.

[Silent Whisper]

10104891
Maybe someday I'll pick it up again or rewrite it? Sorry, I just... had an ending in mind and had no clue about what to do with the middle...

[Teraunce]

10105284
fair enough. It was going interesting places and I imagine Cadence and Shining discovering their daughter was still alive after all would have been quite the shocker.