- Member Since 7th May, 2012
- offline last seen January 6th
Amit
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Amit
Joined 7th May, 2012 ·
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A well-written, intelligent story! I hope you write more like this in the future.
Troll Chrysalis?
... Trolsalis?
I really liked this, it makes it so very interesting to see the spoils of war.
Trollysalis! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png
... and as Celestia's chariot disappears over the horizon, the carefully concealed miniature thaumaturgic explosives concealed in each and every chess piece explode in unison, wiping out Chrysallis, her guards, and leaving a mile-wide crater where they had stood...
980783 Now THAT, I like.
Funky story, Dudebro.
980783
this is now canon
(fun fact: I originally intended the story to be a pure darkfic and end with Chrysalis' army simply jumping in, the summit being a little delay, but I figured that would be too out of the blue; hence, slice of life-comedy instead)
I liked this, but I wish you had kept the darker tone. I found the change from dark to comedic rather sudden and disconcerting and, frankly, out of place. Then again, that may just be me.
Although it was very intelligent and interesting, it wasn't funny.
981354
981383
To be fair, though, I did originally plan this to be a pure darkfic; it's just that the dialogue happened to flow towards comedy while I was writing it. I kind of wrote the whole thing in one short burst - as with most of my stories - so it's pretty unpolished.
Dispite Chrysallis trolling Celestia, she did use a lot of logic.
This I like. Congratulations sir, you have earned a thumb, a fav and a watch, all in one.
Enjoy them.
Sounds like Ol' celly need something that will give no love to their enemies.
Maybe she could learn how to make bombs from studying humans.
lololololololololololol
not really
980783 That is just SO canon.
Also, great story
That's what Celly needs to win! Humans! The only species in existance that can kill so cold bloodedly, efficiently, and brutally! W00T, Human Pride win!
984719
Unfortunately, Chrysalis caches wind of Celestia's plan and summons another faction of humans as a countermeasure. Magic, technology, and the destructive urges of universes collide.
Celestia summons a band of gallant, honorable "knights". On their home world, they dedicated their lives to saving lost knowledge and protecting the innocent. They are the Brotherhood of Steel.
She has also brought forth a smaller band, but one not lacking in skill or power. They have no one nation; rather they are the combined result of a mighty alliance, each member sending its best operative and equipment. They fight on the front lines against the enemies of freedom and peace. They are Rainbow Six.
Chrysalis has called forth an army of maniacs and sadists, who pervert science and nature, and would challenge the gods themselves in their manicial lust for power. They are HYDRA.
The parasite queen has also enlisted her own smaller, elite unit. This band of mercenaries and thugs fights at the behest of a monolithic, world-conquering corporation lead by a man seeking immortality. The mercenaries revel in battle, treating it as nothing but...a game. They are RED Team.
Let the games begin!
984913 That sounds AWSOME!!! And although I love the BoS, and Rainbow Six, and all things good... I feel like Chrysalis is going to win. There is just no stopping RED Team, although I do have one question. If Pyro sees a wonderland like place during battle, does he see a battlefield in wonderland?
985164 Unlikely. In the comics on TF2's website, Pyro comes off as rather calm, almost childish (the Christmas comic depicts Engineer reading to Pyro, the latter sitting cross-legged on the floor, looking ADORABLE.). So it's unlikely he would see a wonderland as a hellish battlefield, if he doesn't seem to see a normal place as anything but just that. [maybe there's some kinf of drug in his gas mask that makes him hallucinate?
]
pretty well written. i like chrysalis's characterization similar to celestia's. ending has places it can go.
984913
DO IT.
Celestia would crush Chrysalis and all the changeling horde... by herself... in minutes....
Because she's a badass goddess
*Shivers* Brr. That's horrifying.
Makes me wonder why Celestia and Luna are waiting on Operation: OBABNF.
Orbital Barrage of Amorphous Balls of Nuclear Fusion!
This is kinda how this went down for me:
Part 1 of 5 Dark
Part 2 of 5 Dark
Part 3 of 5 Dark
Part 4 of 5 Dark
Part 5 of 5 Comedy
One of these things...
Also, Celestia kinda feels a bit like a try hard...
I dunno, it felt a bit unengaging. The overt chess juxtapositions didn't really add much, and they were all that happened.
But the ending gave me a lol, so I'll settle for being ambivalent and not vote.