• Member Since 4th Aug, 2011
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Comments ( 17 )

This looks promising. Will read tomorrow.

Short, but solid and emotional. Bravo.

Very well done. Perfect ending, as well.

The only problem is that stuff like this has been done before. You did a great job making Chrysalis sympathetic, and for that I applaude you, but it's already been done. The story itself is near flawless, but it just came late.

And please don't get me wrong; I really liked this. You did a fantastic job. It's just that I've already read multiple fics that, more or less, do the same thing: make us feel something for Chrysalis, usually pity/sadness.

Still, what you did here was commendable. The ending, as I said, was perfect. I look forward to reading more from you!

Haha, that exactly what the reviewer said, almost quoted.

Stellar grammar, interesting structure, and a cliche as fuck plot.

Just something I wrote while working on a bigger project, and trying to get over a idea block. Plus I've been wanting to do something involving the line "In my heart there is no room" from This Day Aria ever since I heard the song.

Interesting. Who wrote that review?


Umbra from PonyChan. I agree with both of you, it has been done to death.

I don't like idea of one side villian.
Best villians is with great back story like it was did in batman cartoon that old one (from 1992 ) not a single villian was trully bad :)

And you did here great job.
(even when there is shitload fanfics like that its still good one )

The cliche as fuck part I will give you, but in my opinion the thing that makes this fic shine is it's brevity. There have been many similar stories of chrysalis, but few manage to pack so much into so few words. Your writing is quite skillful and I look forward to seeing more of your work.


You might be amused to note then, this was supposed to be a lot shorter.

The scene with her got to Canterlot was a last minute addition, because according to the FAQ, 700 words wasn't enough to submit. Told me 1k words, so had to faff in some more.

Who cares if the plot is not new? It is well written, both from the description and the things only implied.

What happened? What kind of ending was that? Did Chrysalis get executed or something?


I did leave it a little open ended, but my personal feelings were that she had to basically surrender.

Chrysalis would be punished for the attack, stripped of her Queendom and a prison sentence. The Changlings would be absorbed into Equestria, and subject to Equestrian Laws and Regulations. There would be severe restrictions of taking an identity beyond their original changling one.

In the future when they become considered just another race of pony, becoming Equestrians would be a blessing, but initially it would be very difficult. Many ponies are afraid of them. The Changlings will be fed, and will survive and prosper once more, but they'll have lost their autonomy, culture and even much of their identity.

Might have been done a few times before, sure, but this is certainly one of the better "doings" of it. Short, but it certainly sets up an interesting future. I like!

The price of failure is exactly $33.45, U.S. currency. I would know, I've had to buy it a few times.

A lovely take on Chrysalis. I felt real sympathy reading this. Well done! :twilightsmile:

1388885 Thats cruel... None would ever do that in their right minds. Celestia would stop such a cultural massacre.

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