• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2021

Ribe_FireRain


Mental instability at its finest and aspiring punk rock musician. PS: Buy a creator a coffee to keep him awake? https://ko-fi.com/firerain

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A man has ended up in Equestria in an unknown string of summoning. Unfortunately for him, he was taken from Earth when he was most needed to take care of his terminally ill daughter of only eight years of age. He needs to get back to save her, otherwise, he might lose her forever.

Teen Rating - If you're extremely sensitive on the subject of losing family members in the hospital, I strongly advise you don't read this. This story contains a very sensitive topic and is focused solely on the rendition of a father's love.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

You might want to get rid of the disclaimer, it kind of spoils the story.

This was a wonderful little read that successfully tugged at your heartstrings :pinkiesad2:

It certainly is sad yet comforting to read this short description.

This was certainly unique for an HiE fic. Somewhat difficult to get through, but that was probably the point.

You could put the disclaimer in the author's notes. Otherwise it makes it feel you are artificially inflating the word count. Also switch the second and first parts of the story or continue it(Does he return? Does he even look or just wallow in despair? There's no closure.). In media res only works if there is a story. What you have here is an ending followed by a beginning.

I'll ignore the hand-waving on AJ knowing what leukemia is to a strange creature not of her world.

8407186

There wasn't even a disclaimer in the story. I had it removed.

Also, I did that last section intentionally. It wasn't a mistake.

Why wouldn't AJ know what leukaemia is? You don't have to be alien to understand it. It's not an alternate universe ailment that's only existent on one, single planet. I'm pretty sure Equestria would know what cancer is.

Oh, and the reason there isn't any closure to this story is because it was only experimental and I wanted to see what response it would get.

I didn't continue writing it for a reason. Trust me, if there wasn't something bothering me about this, I would have continued. I explained everything in this blog - [BTS] My Daughter, Jackie

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