• Member Since 14th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Nameless Narrator


My library is the best place to spend time while waiting for the good fanfics to update.


T

It was supposed to be simple. After drone 200234 learned about the incoming invasion into ponyland's capital city of ponytown, or whatever the thing was called, his only dream consisted of finding a pony to suck (that's what we do, right?). Changeling drones normally don't own anything, nor are they allowed to take love on their own from captured prisoners, that is for infiltrators or warriors (smug buggers). Anyway, a drone's job is to do what it's told. So, this little guy ended up in a much unwanted position of leadership.

How? Well, it started like this...

(A story comprised of mostly dialogue and minimalistic descriptions. Suggestions or constructive criticism is always welcome.)

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 39 )

An interesting concept. Though I must ask, what is the point of cutting out most of the description? It takes away from the flow and makes it more difficult to tell what is happening. It might be possible to make it work in spite of that, but but it will be extremely difficult. Watched for now.

8303588
It's more about putting in the proper amount of description. I think I've been overdoing it a lot recently. It is prone to change if current state proves insufficient.

Ooh... another one of these... I'll have to read it later, but I'm excited.

8303692
Less biting sarcasm, more stuff happening, but I'll try to keep it light.

Well... the mouth is probably better than the other hole he could've shoved it into... that brings up some weird mental imagery.

8312060
I know, it would be really hard to fit quarter of a broken spear into a nostril.

8312225
Oh, you... always trying to get one up one me, are we?

“I have seven hoofsies now, and one of them glows.”

I hearby dub this Drone, 'Charly'.

8319240

Well he can't be Algernon, he dies by the end and if '3 with 5 somethings after it' dies I think I might actually cry.

8319612

:fluttercry:

We must all die at some point, but to die all too young and still innocent is bittersweet.

By this logic I hope '3 with 5 somethings after it' is immortal while retaining his innocent naievety.

:fluttercry:

“Alright, we’ll sort that out later. Let’s get ou-OW!”

“Does your hoof still hurt?”

“No, I like randomly screaming in pain. It helps me deal with the unexpected loss of everything I’ve ever known.”

“Cool, should I try?”

Hey, I do that too... it's a lot of fun to do in the middle of public streets, or next to people's ears.

Welp... they're screwed. Unless... she turns out to be disgruntled and has summarily run out of fucks to give, like such:
s2.quickmeme.com/img/f2/f2225aa009668f963cdbbb075fb3532caf2f020a9ad4bda7c529cee9d7e57bfe.jpg
because then they'd have what looks to be a possibly interesting ally in their survival-ish thing.

8335820
Totally not the only type of a female character I can write - a dominating, deep down loving, weird fetish enjoying mare.

Definitely not -Choking, Joy, Fury, Palisade, Scream, Anvil, Contradiction, Flora- damn it!

I really need to learn to write a different kind.

8335902
nah, these guys work perfectly fine. Though, I suppose, if this is, as you say, an attempt to improve your writing, you could try your hand at a different type of character.

I am halfway convinced that Boss's dialogue will soon consist of nothing but the word "what", spoken at an increasing tempo and volume.

8352882
Is that strictly a bad thing?

"Wat wat... wat... wat. Wat wat... wat... wat..."

"I'm gonna pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket."

8352908

Or...

"What's going on!?!"

"And I said, heyahheyahah"

Well... this got... very anti-climactic.
I was hoping for an epic, 'Meh, I'm just gonna walk away and let you die while I nervously stare over my shoulder' scene. But this works too.

8354585
My stories are very carefully and meticulously constructed, slightly addictive, crippling boredom.

 I can see into this idiot’s head and I could build a golf course in there.

I've been temped to do that once or twice... well, make their head a part of a golf course. Or maybe just put a golfball through their head. In any case, as expected, Number Eight is a total asshat, the drone is a moron and the King is just special. Fun fun.

8360654
8360252
Everyone just wants to survive in the best way they know how.

So... did Chrysalis lose herself to the Hivemind, or did she poison it with her thoughts of conquest?

8392763
Where would be the fun in answering it now? But yes, you got one important question down.

8392815

Well the Hivemind looks to be a psychic gestalt, at least partially built out of the instincts, desires, memories, and knowledge of all living, and dead, Changelings.

The problem with these things is that they are as malleable as the minds that they are enscribed on.

With the comment that "Eight" made about Changelings once having a culture, it sounds like Chrysalis (or a previous Queen) poisoned the whole thing into a reinforcement of predatory instincts by forcing the hive as a whole to focus on how starving they were, how much the other species had and didn't deserve, how superior the Changelings were.

That's my guess and justification at least.

8393196
If you're more familiar with my library, then I can give some clues which will otherwise make no sense.
1) Horatio Cross' recount of history given to Cromach.
2) Blazing Light's time escorting Chrysalis through the Everfree forest.
3) Scream's story on the origin of changelings.

If not, then you can just wait for the story to unfold. Maybe it'll be good enough to keep your interest for some time even despite the slow updates.

So is she getting off on the sarcasm, or the being dominated (metaphorically and literally)?

8406942
Next chapter. I just hope I'm not going too far with the erotic undertones... and overtones... and my general subtlety level of a hammer to the face.

*stares at the chapter*

...

*Blinks*

...

I'll have what she's having.

8420979
It wouldn't be a story of mine if it didn't have some depression and at least one horribly sexually fucked up character. This time the roll hit a changeling with submission, mind control, and mind breaking plus being rebuilt into a perfect slave fetish.

Compared to Corrupted Lands, I'm thinking it's still tame. :trixieshiftright:

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