The End: Seeking justice
Bright Star followed by a grey unicorn stallion entered the Canterlot castle grounds. He waved back at few saluting recruits and training soldiers, but his eyes were firmly locked on a small but high-profile gathering near the service entrance of the castle. The group of paladins and Royal Guards made space for him to walk through right towards princess Celestia and Star Trail.
“-the highest honor which can be bestowed upon a civilian, the High Emblem of the Sun. You deserve it, Star Trail, despite our recent disagreement regarding events in Riverside.”
“Are you sure about that, your Highness?” Bright Star walked into the empty circle reserved for Celestia and the unicorn being honored.
“Bright Star?” asked both the princess and Star Trail.
“Your Highness, sorry for interrupting the ceremony, but I would like to use my last earned paladin request today, and before you frown at me in the disappointed way you sometimes do, there IS a good reason why I’m doing it right now.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow, and her eyes stopped on the unicorn by Bright Star’s side.
“I am listening.”
Bright star nodded to his companion who took a deep breath, and with a wave of green fire shapeshifted into a changeling.
Celestia’s eyes narrowed, but the princess said nothing.
“You too,” Bright Star said to no one, “Come on.”
His armor lost its sag as if a tiny amount of pressure was lifted from his back followed by the grass of the lawn bending next to him, and with a wobble of air, a smaller grey and black streaked changeling appeared, giving Celestia a frightened stare as she hid under Bright Star’s belly.
Ten bowed before the princess, his eyes darting from her to…
...now absolutely livid Star Trail grinding his teeth.
Bright Star, on the other hoof, was completely undisturbed by the spears of the guards aimed at him and his companions.
“Your Highness, my request is that you keep on listening. You know some of the reports about recent paladin investigation regarding a group of changelings in Canterlot. I know you met them back in the old castle, but it’s time you learned the whole story. I want justice, and that can only come if you know everything,” he shoved Four from underneath him and towards Celestia. The tiny changeling tried to look even smaller until the princess put a hoof under her chin and made her look up.
“You told me where to find the paladins back in the castle. Without you, they might have starved, and Star Trail would definitely have died of his wounds.”
The angry look Ten shot to Four didn’t go unnoticed, but the older changeling just shook his head in the end. Four would have to live with that guilt for a long time, if they survived today. There was no reason to make her feel even worse. Sometimes good intentions breed the worst results, just like Three’s offer of peace led to his death.
Four nodded, but just stood there with her mouth open, quiet. Ten cleared his throat.
“Then maybe it’s up to me to start, if only because I met the boss, Three, and Eight before Four was born...”
He talked about Wet Soil, about the help they provided to the Mayor at the time being controlled by disguised One. He talked about the villagers eventually finding out who the changelings were and offering them a place to live. He talked about Four being born, a physically frail changeling who would have never been allowed to survive in the hive.
Spurred by Ten speaking, Four finally found her voice and talked about their trip to Canterlot. She spoke about the scouting, meeting One, how she accidentally killed the Royal Guard in prison. She didn’t try to defend herself, she just explained everything. The starvation, the fear, and in the end the escape from the attacking paladins who she thought were after them because of the dead guard.
This was time for Bright Star to correct her:
“The dead guard was… the trigger. With events in Riverside and some reports from Canterlot police about suspicious behaviour, especially a ghost story by a local group of nutjobs, we expected some changelings to still be around, but originally we wanted to wait for further hostilities before doing anything. We hoped that the trials would eventually become known among those scarce changelings who just got dragged into things. With the guard’s death and the escape of the prisoners, Star Trail’s old friends probably had a chat with him about recent events, and eventually they rallied more and more paladins for an investigation. We found the old house in lower Canterlot, and eventually discovered old building plans including the now closed mining complex inside the mountain. After some planning, we launched an attack. Nothing we did was illegal, your Highness, despite Star Trail’s unofficial help as an ex-paladin being… unadvised. However, what we did was wrong. When we attacked, most changelings couldn’t defend themselves. Tempers were still flared so soon after the invasion, I understand, but the fact that most of my brethren killed those who could barely move sickens me even now. But I understand, because among the changelings there were few who were a real threat which we learned in the tunnels and later in the old castle. Unfortunately, my brothers who did hesitate to slaughter the changelings during the crucial moments aren’t here anymore. I was lucky that little Four here stopped a changeling warrior by the name Eight from killing me outright,” he scratched Four under her chin, conjuring a weak smile on her face and making her stick her tongue out. She withdrew it when he poked it, now looking at the grass under her hooves, embarrassed, “I still believe that if some of my… overzealous friends haven’t killed changelings indiscriminately, there wouldn’t have been a need for the tragedy which decimated the paladin ranks deep in the old mine tunnels,” Bright Star sighed, “That was our first operation against this group, one which I can still defend in my mind as being… right. However, then the castle happened.”
He nodded to Ten who, with Four adding details here and there, recounted the group’s escape to the Castle of Two Sisters, the deaths of the changeling prisoners, their experiences in Ponyville, and Three making friends with Zecora and Tree Hugger. When Four mentioned Three, her story slowed down and everyone got very, very quiet.
“I was there, your Highness. The most powerful changeling by the name or rank One killed two of my friends instantly, and the little one here saved me once again. At that time, though, while most of us thought we were following murderers due to what happened in the tunnel, I was fully aware of our own role in this aggression, and I wanted to find out more, without bloodshed if possible. We drastically underestimated how strong the changelings got in the meantime. We didn’t meet starving group like in Canterlot. We faced changelings who, according to what Four here described, were somewhat willingly fed by real affection of Ponyville citizens.”
“THERE WAS NOTHING REAL ABOUT IT!” yelled Star Trail, “MIND CONTROLLING MONSTERS!”
“Be quiet, Star Trail,” said Celestia with completely stone face, “Bright Star is damning himself with this testimony, but if he believes it worth telling, I will listen.”
After taking a deep breath, Bright Star continued:
“The changelings gathered those of us who survived their retaliation, and to our surprise we were offered… friendship. Unfortunately, Star Trail killed a changeling by the name Three in cold blood. It is my understanding that when you visited the old castle, your Highness, with your extended family, you weren’t a target nor an enemy until… until one of the changelings who loved the deceased Three blew up in rage when you said something you couldn’t have known to be… damning, if I’m honest. Meanwhile, I had a chat with Four in the cell which illuminated some things for me. We weren’t going after an organized force of Chrysalis’ stragglers. We were attacking a group who tried to save others from our own lack of knowledge about changelings, and who wouldn’t have been better off at all if Chrysalis found them. Regretfully, you know what happened in the castle way better than I do.”
Celestia only nodded, and looked at Four who spoke up next.
“We never wanted to hurt you, princess Luna, or anypony else. We didn’t even know who you were when you first entered the castle. We just thought we would make your visit an adventure you would enjoy, that we would take you or some of you out for a while, feed a little, and you’d go home happy, maybe a little confused about what happened. We liked the place a lot,” Four hung her head low, “But when I bit princess Cadance, I learned who she was, and we had to improvise. We split you up, and knocked you out while feeding. Ask the purple unicorn… Sprinkle or something?”
“Twilight. Sparkle,” said Celestia through gritted teeth.
“Yeah her. Miss One changed into you when she fed from her, and you should have seen how much love she had for you. She was so happy when miss One allowed her to play out a lot of fantasies regarding you and your… umm… backside.”
Ten tried his best not to snicker despite the gravity of the situation.
“Continue,” said Celestia, shooting him a quick glance which served as a cold shower.
“Then we split Shiny… Armor...?”
“Shining Armor,” Bright Star corrected Four, “The captain of the Royal Guard.”
“Mhm. Miss One identified that queen Chrysalis still left some mental triggers in him, and used them to gain enough love to make venom which would allow her to control somepony as powerful as your sister or you.”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. Four, being the good little infiltrator she was, hastily continued:
“It was necessary! Everything went wrong. The boss wanted to just flee at first, but it was miss One’s idea to give you a normal adventure. If miss Eight didn’t mess up, nothing bad would have happened to you. We didn’t want a fight, I mean a real one, but when miss Eight made you and princess Luna go all alicorn and scary, we knew someone would get really badly hurt if it continued. The way miss One solved it was the best,” Four raised her hoof when Celestia opened her mouth, “She shouldn’t have said any of the world domination stuff. We enjoyed how things were. I liked ponies in Ponyville. Nine and miss Eight had fun practicing against the hydras and manticores in the forest. Everyone liked it there, but we had to leave. As you know, we found our place in Las Pegasus where ponies thought we were a new tourist attraction. Ask them if they were mad!” Four raised her voice, now scowling at Celestia, “We’ve been doing the Adventure Under the Hive for weeks and everyone was happy! A pony even asked me on a date, when I was a changeling! Everything was fine until that guy,” with shaking hoof, she pointed at Star Trail measuring her with a scowl of his own, “and one more kicked the front door open an stabbed me. If it wasn’t for Bright Star a moment later I...” she ‘eep’ed and went quiet.
“Your Highness, I don’t know what Star Trail told you to gain the alicorn amulet, but his actions caused the sinking of several streets and houses, massive property damage, pony injuries, and… changeling murders. He disintegrated a changeling called Nine in the streets and would have done the same to Ten here if I didn’t save him. He mercilessly attacked Four, and thankfully she’s way tougher than she looks so I managed to help her when I teleported to their house. In the tunnels underground, he killed a pregnant changeling mare. What happened to the others I don’t know. I’m afraid that whatever tunnels they managed to dig under Las Pegasus crumbled under Star Trail’s magic, and they got crushed. Whatever Star Trail told you… can’t have been all. I refuse to believe a pony whom I’ve served for over a century would have sanctioned this in full knowledge,” he aimed a defiant stare at the princess, “That isn’t you.”
His courage wavered faced with what he saw. Celestia’s eyes were nothing but golden holes into the heart of the sun. The tips of her normally rainbow mane burst into flames, ethereal cinders landing on the green grass around her.
“Bright Star,” she said, her motherly voice gone, replaced by barely contained cold fury, “You are hereby banished from the paladin order. You will give me the names of every still alive paladin who joined your operations after what happened inside mount Canterlot. They will lose their position and rewards as well. The dead paladins will be stripped from paladin records, and all benefits to their families will be revoked.”
Bright Star lowered his head. He knew he deserved this or more for his part in the tragedy. He would provide the names as requested, justice had to be served.
“Yes, your Highness.”
“Hey, you can’t do that!” squeaked Four, advancing on Celestia and only stopping when faced with a pair of Royal Guard spears aimed at her, “He’s the good guy-”
“Be quiet,” said Celestia now looking at Star Trail, “And youuuu… I gave you your last chance after the incident with miss Half-hearted Fury, Star Trail. This, however, is the last straw. You stand accused of high treason, of ruining a chance for peace with changelings. The witnesses have spoken. What do you have to say for yourself?”
Star Trail scowled, but didn’t cower in face of the furious sun.
“Do not negotiate with the bugs, your Highness. Remember the dead, remember the insane, remember the horror. DESTROY THEM!”
“I judge thee guilty then, Star Trail. Not of treason only against me, but against your paladin brethren, may their souls rest in peace. Without your fanaticism, no bloodshed was necessary, and many could still be alive. Your property will be seized, your titles stripped completely this time, and in the history of the order your name will be under the enemy,” Celestia turned her back to him, “Today, I believe Puff is better off gone than seeing his mentor turn into the twisted hateful monstrosity you are.”
“HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE MERE WORDS OF THE MONSTERS AND THEIR SYMPATHIZER?!” screamed Star Trail.
A cooler and deeper voice answered.
“She can’t,” air next to Celestia wobbled, and a midnight blue alicorn appeared, “but we can. They haven’t said lies or purposely omitted facts. You are guilty, traitor. Face your judgement with what little dignity you have left, or without it. It matters not to us. Guards, take him away. He will rot in prison while his possessions will help those he hurt in what little way they can.”
“Umm, what about us, your Highness… Highnesses?” asked Bright Star.
“You will stay in the castle until you give me the requested names,” said Celestia, “then I will decide your future. You paladin career, however, is over. My sister will take care of the changelings. Guards, do your job.”
The Royal Guards around split into two groups. One escorted Bright Star away via the service entrance, and a larger one led Star Trail through the main castle entrance. Four and Ten, without a spoken word, followed princess Luna down into the dungeons.
“I have called my friends over for you. You will face the trial now,” she nodded towards one room to which Ten entered. Four tilted her head and saw a batpony mare and a bronze… changeling?
“Who are-?”
“Over here, little one,” Luna entered the next room with steel-plated walls, a table, and two simple stools to one of which she pointed. Four jumped up on it, “Now, I have heard your story, and I clearly remember what happened between my old castle and the train station in Ponyville, no matter what you might think-”
”Hmph!“
Four froze completely.
“-That’s why I sent the paladins on a wild goose chase to Manehattan first. Regretfully, it wasn’t enough. Before I go next door and help my friends interrogate Ten, I’ll tell you you passed. Your fervor and words were enough for me, which is why I believe we can forfeit the initial examination in your case-”
”Princess, princess… you might be smart, but you can’t hold a candle to the Queen.“
“However, we still can’t let you just roam free, which is why you will need a guardian, and despite my better judgement, I think I’ve got just the right… ponies. They will be here shortly, don’t worry.”
Four nodded, barely listening, and Luna left.
It couldn’t be real.
”Don’t underestimate me, Four. I learn very, very quickly when I have to.“
”MISS ONE?!“
”In the flesh, metaphorically speaking.“
”Where are you speaking to me from? I thought you got crushed. Wait, Bright Star said you got stabbed.“
”Well, with my last breaths I felt a mind I could use in range - yours. Contrary to popular belief, there is no need for more changelings to form a hive mind. A single strong one is enough. Yes, I DO realize I’m now what we spent days fighting, don’t even think about mentioning it.“
”Won’t it drain me like the old rulers did to the hive?“
”It will require some… special arrangements, but we’ll manage. I have no intention of becoming a parasite like them. Consider this a symbiotic relationship - I will teach you, and you will grow in power rarely seen among changelings. In return, you will keep me alive until you can spawn me a new body. I intend to carve my own destiny, not rob you of yours. This… is just a temporary setback.“
”Alright,“ said Four with a smile, ”I don’t like being alone anyway.“
”That’s the spirit.“
Four’s smile withered.
”Miss One, what happened to the boss and miss Eight? I couldn’t listen because everything hurt...“
”I don’t know. I ordered Eight to keep herself and the boss safe, and I’m certain they made it out before the earthquake, but Eight is smart. While the boss is hibernating, no one will find them. She will hide him on the bottom of the sea if she has to.“
”We are going to look, right?“
”Eventually, Four. You are too weak and unskilled now, but eventually.“
”Promise?“
”Yes, I promise.“
The cell door opened, letting in a grey-maned changeling mare wearing a silk band covering her eyes, and a grey pegasus stallion with brown mane.
”Ooooh, she looks familiar. One of the higher ranks under Chrysalis.“
“I’m Half-hearted Fury, and this walking dildo is Common Crest. Say hi!” said the changeling, "Hey, Crest, is she pretty like me, or is she one of those who when they give head it counts as anal?"
“Hello... Four, was it?” asked the pegasus, rolling his eyes, and continued after Four’s nervous nod, “We’ll have to give you a real name, but that can wait.”
”Nah, I’ve got an idea. Ugly duckling wouldn’t work, but from a piece of coal into my beautiful and precious little thing. I’m sure Eight and the boss would agree. How does Gem sound? “
”I like Four, but I guess numbers don’t sit well with ponies. Gem is nice and short.“
“Mhm, what about Gem?” Four nodded, “Are you supposed to be my guardians?”
“That’s a lovely name actually… Gem,” Crest tried the word, seemingly liking it.
“Yep, we’re the guardians!” Fury beamed, “I’ve wanted a daughter I can properly corrupt for a while, but Crest isn’t ready to be a father yet.”
”Corrupt? Oh honey, you have no idea who you’re dealing with. Anyway, Four- ehm, Gem, cheers! To the beginning of a unique relationship.“
Thank you for reading and all the feedback.
If you want a little more of a backstory, you can read "Hard to Find The Right Words", if not, then it was a pleasure having this many readers for the first (and likely the last) time. Absolutely crazy. 
PS: Celestia really wasn't such an ass, but she simply never had the accurate knowledge of the events until the end. Everything she knew about the paladin activities was from reports that came after each tragedy, and those painted a grim picture of our group as heartless killers. At least until Bright Star grew a pair and saved credible witnesses who told their story under Luna's oversight, and the old moonpie is really good at seeing through lies.
In fact, let's have a quick review of the story from Celestia's point of view.
--report 1--
P: "Yo, solar thighs, we found the lings who killed a guard and let the prisoners out. They can't be up to any good."
C: "Try hugging, if not work, kick ass."
ST: "Hugging failed!"
P: "But we didn't even try."
ST: "Hugging. Failed. Asskicking time!"
--report 2--
P: "Sunslut, bug bitches didn't want hugs, they just hissed at us. They dropped mountain on us, we ded."
C: "U wot m8?! Find them."
ST: "Sure thing. No one harms Equestria's citizens."
C: "Hey, ST, wtf are you doing here, you old fart? This is pally business."
ST: "Changeling combat expert, praise the thighs!"
C: "Eh, whatevs, my best got smooshed by half dead bugs, they clearly need the help."
--report 3--
C: "Where the F are my pallys. I'm bored and want to watch them fight to the death."
TS: "I've got an idea, let's roleplay."
C: "Fine, I'll be in the shower and you're the pizza delivery this time. Who's on top?"
TS: "No, that one later. You've been so stressed from the ling stuff, let's take a break by playing DnD live."
C: "Neeeeeeerd! Fine, let's go, but if I must suffer, then Luna comes too. And bring the two idiots too. Banging for weeks without a break can't be healthy, alicorn of love or not."
In the castle:
C: "Oh ffs, angry bugs. Who's got a can of Raid? Oh look, paladins! Hey, flashlights, y u ded?"
ST: "Got rekt by lings. They stronk, they bad, they mad."
--report 4--
ST: "Sunnybuns, Luna's drunk. We're going after the lings."
C: "Yeah, that'll work."
ST: "Gimme BFG."
C: "No."
ST: "Gimme BFG."
C: "No."
ST: "The lings ate your sister and Twibright."
C: "Oh fuk 'em, that's MY job."
ST: "Wot?"
C: "BFG authorized."
--report 5--
BS: "Star Trail is a crazy racist."
C: "So?"
BS: "Eats foals for dinner."
C: "That's MY job!"
BS: "Wot?"
ST: "Wot?"
4: "Wot?"
C: "Kick Star Trail in his wrinkly old nuts."
ST: "Muh dragonballlllZ!"
C: "BS, snitches get stitches."
BS: "Woo, free healthcare!"
C: "4, I'm not gonna eat you." *wink wink*
4: "Eeep!"
Fury: "Insert epic one liner here."
1: "Death can't out-epic this ling, bitch!"
THE END
PPS: Some of you thought the boss would be Thorax in the end. I actually DID think about it a long time ago, but then I came ot the conclusion that the other changelings wouldn't fit into the known universe. Plus, I rewatched Thorax' chapters, and despite the fact that I like the technicolor deer a little, he's a giant pussy. No matter how it looks. boss wasn't.
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Half-hearted Fury... I know that name, you have good taste. Well the Pally's have been talked to and the King is on the road again, it's been a good run.
9261976
She probably would if the paladins hadn't been absolute murder-hobos. They make fine examples for why we have the Geneva convention irl. I mean any good reports regardless are going to be tossed out as mind control, and from previous dialogue in the hivemind she clearly knows enough to make her violent actions justify the old changeling queens thirst for revenge.
A suitable ending, well done indeed!
I didn't really get the details right, but I did get the general idea. Good ending!
Good story and good ending^^ i hope there will be more of that.
Having Boss turn in Thorax would have been awesome. In my Opinion just go AU and have a different version of Boss/Thorax reforming the hive.
Another idea would be to just go with the canon version of the hive reformation while Boss and Eight are hiding. This leads to some of the paladins who lost their positions to free Star Trail who then proceeds to found somekind of terrorist organization to "protect" Equestria from the "obious changeling plot" which causes Boss and Eight to intervene to protect changelingkind and/or get revenge on Star Trail.
Later, Ten would start going by "Cushion" after landing his dream job with help from an interview with Luna.
Princess Celestia was quoted as saying "Yes, it was much more comfortable today. Did you get the padding replaced? What do you mean, a 'a new staff member'? Luna, why is the cushion blushing? LUNA, GET BACK HERE AND STOP LAUGHING!"
Ok. Now for my ending thoughts. Revised: I loved this story. Loved the characters, loved the setting, loved the humor, loved the flow. First ste story reminded me of what it was like to have emotions. Then it whent and stabed me the emotions i didnt know where still there and made me feel. I believe i felt exactly what i was ment to. Even though i personaly would have loved to "have so much fun" with star trail. I do realise that within the bounds of civilized society, that kind of activity is "illegal" and as a few would say "immoral" (i disagree) but i digress. I am satisfied with this ending. I beleve that this arrangement with four (gem) and one will be quite entertaining. I dont think fury knows what she is in for. That alone sounds like short story material.
Would love to see a sequel. Well back to ravaging the liberary!
9263009
Welp, epilogue is here. Questions answered.
9263639
Considering Fury is my character, I should know .)
9263653
Not too happy, not too sad, not too epic, not too bad.
9263800
My hints were about as subtle as a nuke applied as a suppository.
9263909
That is actually an interesting scenario I might use to a certain degree. Although my idea was that one day Star Trail would be found gruesomely killed in his cell, sparking One and Four's journey to find obviously responsible Eight. Oh well, I might some day get to a story like that, or maybe not.
9264004
Luna playing pranks on Sunbutt using Ten, maybe with or maybe without his knowledge, would make for an interesting one-shot or one-shots. I wonder whether a changeling can transform into a bathrobe.
9264192
Thank you very much. It seems that I got lucky with my words this time. Hopefully I'll write something as interesting as this again at some point. As for the sequel, or technically a finale of Words+Management, I don't have anything planned, mostly because Legacy of Light is being an ass of a story and making itself too hard to write.
Anyway, I'm glad you had fun. Most of my other stories are fucknuts depressing, so it's been nice to take a detour and write something at least remotely positive.
Been following this story since day 1 and I made a fimfiction account just to track this story. Keep up the good work, love the concept and story.
9264209
i actually stumbled into the library with legacy of light. read a about three chapters and realized that not only was this a sequel. but it was the latest in a series. so i set about finding the start of the story line (poor blazing light) and found that i'm not the only one who likes to hang my character over a pit full of spikes and angry vipers. light the rope on fire. and then proceed to throw things at them. one who is never challenged is one who never grows i love delving into stories written by others especially ones that are as well written as the ones written by the many talented writers on this sight (gonna stuff you in that corner with the rest of 'em) i understand not seeing your own work as good. aside from the little over a thousand words of unedited word vomit i accidentally posted after going 4 days without sleep.(i was legally insane at that point and no longer responsible for my actions) i am never happy with my own work. i see only the flaws and have a hard time admitting that i have improved at all. even when my friends of family read what i have written and tell me how good they think it is i see it as false or undeserved praise. it may be a long time before i myself work up the courage to actually post a story. but i think i am getting there...
i am slowly working my way through this library that has floors so clean i can see my reflection. there are quite a few good reads in here i may have to take my time
You said that you couldn't write a happy ending without it being cheap and empty. Well you just proved yourself wrong, this chapter is the proof of it! Our buggy gang got the justice and recognition that they deserve and the senile old man got punished for his hate crimes.
This story was a journey. The character development, plot, flow, and world building were very good. They all linked up to form a formula that was enjoyable to read. The villains and heroes both had their reasons for their actions and those reasons weren't stupid. Especially Star Trail's, his can be found in the present day. *Cough* United States *Cough* The power of point of view was an extremely important role in this story and it was used in the right ways.
Now I wonder what Eight and Boss will do, considering that they don't know that Four and Ten have been approved and only know the massacre that they fled from. Will they go for revenge and follow the same path as Star Trail? Guess we'll see in the sequel. 🤔
shortly
be
Was hoping that Mr. BS would manage to keep his job. Kinda sucks that the ONE decent one loses his job too.
9264322
That's quite flattering. Now shoo! Go and read an actually good story, something like Hard Reset.
9264512
Well, my family can't read English, and my friends find what I write boring (mostly because "ponies are for little girls" reasons). As for the courage to write... if you have an idea, just write it. I expected original Imbalanced to be torn apart for being utter trash. It ended up somewhat well, and we're here, five years later, still spilling alphabet soup and uploading the results. Just give it a shot, who cares about the result as long as you're having fun writing.
9264615
Eeeh, aside from Fury's killer one-liner, I'd say it was... meh. But the important thing isn't what I think, which is a saving grace, honestly, with me.
So much... THICC plot... mmmmmm...
Booooootyyyyyy...
Been watching social and political situation closely for some 15 years or so. It's fun and horrifying at the same time. Horrifying mostly because our politicians like to imitate yours a lot. Not the occasional hard working one, but the shitty guys. Anyway, I could ramble about this for weeks, and this is the wrong place.
Let's just say that a changeling government, one that needs love and not money to survive and has to care of its citizens, could be useful. Who wants to move when the Boss builds his own country? Memememememe! But only once it gets good internet. I could work as a bug feeder...
IF there is a sequel. I know that everything is set up for there to be one, but I'm not even planning it at this point.
9264934
Fixed.
You know, feel it's kinda fitting that the comment sections ends with a bunch of typos being pointed out. Something along the lines of "Look at the dumbass who wrote this crap!"
As for Bright Star, he finds a job with the Silver Sun years later as an NPC, question mark over the head and everything.
From your comment I know you're not thinking out a sequel and I really hope you change your mind and do just that. This is the most underappreciated story I've ever seen on this site and I honestly can't believe how low the likes count is. Despite my hope for a sequel I wish you luck in whatever you write next as I've read both of your stories and they are amazing. I'll be looking forward to whatever you chose to write next.
9265971 WE MUST GET HIM TO THE TOP!
9266633
9265971
Damn it, crazy people, I'm not that good.
9267238
You have completed a story with good character development, sad moments that prove characters can die, a good sized cast of characters as well, and did I mention you actually managed to follow through and complete the darn thing!? I have all the time to write and I'm still at the beginning of my story. Don't sell yourself short, this is a good story and you are a good writer, and if that makes me crazy for stating the obvious than consider me and everyone else who loved bat shit bonkers.
9267381note completion is everything ex blackroseraven he wrote around 6 million words in his stories, but he completed EVERY SINGLE ONE.
All in all good job I need to rent a bill board now.
...more?
9272301
Not in the works. I've got other stuff to finish.
9272320
Awwwwww
9272320
Three lives inside me
He won in a game of bluff today
9277647
He's a crafty little hug-spreading critter.
9277746
No as in he literally Told me to dump all my cards, except one king, Call them all kings, and drop the king as one before anyone reacted
9279019
Then he's definitely better at card games than I am.
I know you said there's no sequel in the works, but I hope one day there might be. Until then, I'll just have to content myself by starting the rest of your stories. This was an amazing read, so I look forward to reading your others
9281619
My other stories are very, VERY different, but thank you .) (Aside from "Hard to Find the Right Words" which is somewhat of a spiritual prequel to this. You might want to check that one first if you don't want to delve into the horrible pile of black depression which is my library :D)
Anyway, while there isn't a sequel in the works, as I said in my last blog post, I'm starting to toy with some ideas.
9281706
SEQUEL YAY
also my second fave
Omg you sent me all over the place!!!!
9329716
Like a hand grenade :P
9329784
YES!!!
Also great work on this story
Aaaaaaaand, by the rules of the Internet, this is to be interpreted in the most lewd possible way.
9340706
Which is entirely the point
9340718
Considering this story happens shortly after the invasion while Trixie getting corrupted happens later in the timeframe of the show, the empowering yet dangerous artefact could easily be temporarily requisitioned by paladins - the holiest and the purest unicorns in the land who would under no circumstances fall under its influence, especially to be used against an enemy who managed to capture an alicorn, and outsmart the paladins repeatedly, causing deaths.
9340943 Well, based on the tags, I expected this to be a comedy... instead it's a rather brutal alt-universe.
9341206
It's a bit of everything tbh. I hope you weren't completely disappointed.
9341850 It's rather... atonal. I found the mood whiplashes very jarring. And the sudden brutality offputting and ill-fitting to the earlier portions.
9342345
My opinion is a little different, but I'm not the one reading it so it doesn't really matter. Still...
Overall, it is, although I tagged it comedy later when readers thought it was funny. It originally wasn't. That it's not a mindless jokefest or pop culture reference spam is a different thing. It's a horrible, bickering, semi-sitcom full of atrocious sex jokes mostly. With trace amounts of plot.
Literally in like two chapters, unless you count the actual beginning of boss and Three following a trail of starved changeling corpses. You know, what would have likely happened if the events around Chrysalis' invasion were depicted realistically instead of show-appropriate. If I wanted to write show-like sacharine story without depth, I would have stopped halfway through. (And I'm not complaining about the show, just noting that there's a huge difference between writing a story and a 20-minute episode basically unrelated to everything else.)
THIS is the one I object to, the others are just points of view. Absolutely nothing in the story makes it AU. There isn't a single situation that contradicts the show. There are a bunch of situations that expand what possibly might have maybe or not happened, but nothing that makes the story AU. (Alright, Twi having a crush on Celestia could be, but it's mostly just a joke/reference about fan shipping.)
I call it surprise value, but I stand by saying that those who think ahead can see the bad stuff coming. I'm not gonna pull out an impossible deus ex machina good ending out of my ass (no matter how much I'd like to).
9342490 There is no Paladin army. They don't exist in the show. Even Secret Agent Sweetie Drops' agency simply sends monsters to Tartarus. Celestia most certainly doesn't approve of murdering things. In fact, she tends to take the most difficult routes to avoid outright killing enemies.
Changelings also clearly avoid outight killing. First off, missing persons attract attention, and bodies and body parts always have a way of being found. Which also attracts attention. Plus, they rather need ponies to feed off of.
We also saw CONCLUSIVELY that the ponies had ZERO measures in place to look for or warn against changelings, even after the Wedding invasion.
And that's just the most surface level stuff which breaks with the show's world.
9342813
Sorry, but that's a nonsensical argument. Either that, or ANY fanfiction is purely AU, because the only things allowed to esixt would be those already shown in the show. An order of (not too many) warriors closer to Celestia than normal Royal Guards is completely plausible. (And there's a TON of really nasty unsolved baddies in old generations who haven't been shown in G4 - only Tirek and Smooze have, and the mane 5 can't be everywhere, while the Royal Guards have proven kinda worthless against anyone other than Cozy Glow, which is what I base someone more capable such as paladins on.)
And she never did so explicitly. Star Trail got the amulet to capture the group, not to kill them. That he was crazy she knew from "Hard to Find The Right Words", so it was Sunbutt's stupidity(or belief in redemption you mentined), when she gave him a chance to overcome his hate for changelings. (Some what what I added as an author comment to the final chapter.)
Which our guys also did unless directly attacked and fighting for their life. The fact that they never killed anyone in the show even in combat is because it's THE SHOW. "Offensive" operations of boss' group were always peaceful, which was the entire point really. (As for the more realistic look on the invasion, which I took in "Imbalanced", was that a peaceful species like the ponies would suffer deadly amount of PTSD and other related insanity after such massive and sudden attack, not to mention mental probing/manipulation from changelings.)
Changelings replace a person. If you take the idea further, then they can stay in their place for a long time, and then simply cause a break-up or find a reason to end the relationship. A proper infiltration will not leave a missing person, only someone who let's say broke ties with friends over time and moved to another city.
I give you that one, in theory. However, Twilight actually forcibly transformed a changeling back into their original form even during the invasion, so this is more an abandoned thought in the show. If you think only this warrants an AU, then I disagree.
Majority of what you posted were your misunderstandings or wrong conclusions based on presented events. (Granted, that is my fault for not writing more clearly, but still...) So no. Would be a fun discussion and a good way to for me to find my own unfinished or screwed up thoughts,, don't get me wrong, but it would also spam too much comment space, and you still haven't presented much to warrant it.
9344162
I figured Celestia was holding back. Considering that she was in a room with a lot of innocent civilians, and would presumably rather avoid violence if possible, she held back to avoiding roasting the whole place. She just held back a bit too much.
9346719
There isn't much difference. Few days/weeks here and there don't matter in the end.
9346769
I never claimed this was good, and that's why I don't do almost any promotion. And fun is all that counts, because I don't and very likely never will make any money off of writing.
9346806
Usually it's a mix of both.
9346812
Never underestimate the power of a friendly drone.
9370665
NEVER! No matter how nicely you ask.
9370812
If you enjoy absolutely trashy sex jokes, we'll get along juuust fine.
9426872
Oh, that's a shame. It would be useful to be allowed to use colours for different voices. I've read some real life books that do something similar but with fonts.
You don't have to do a re-write if you'd consider it a waste of time, but regardless, I am enjoying the story so far.
9436026
9436205
9436035
If you're going to point out typos or grammar mistakes throughout the whole story (which is very helpful, because I have only one set of eyes and those suck), especially if you copy the whole paragraph, please send me a message rather than comment. It just clutters the comment section which I rather it would be more conversation and opinions. (I'll fix this batch of mistakes and probably delete comments only with the pointed out mistake tomorrow)
9436060
Weekly.
Not much.
Drones hovering over people's houses with hellfire missiles.
9436161
HA! I wasn't completely stupid.
9436186
I genuinely don't get it.
9436161
It's french, bro. "Cadenza" directly translates to "Cadence", which is not in fact the climax. But rather, the end of a "phrase". In music, the climax is almost never the end of a phrase or piece. Your source, "final" "penultimate"... "end". I'm part french and did music in school. 👌
9436262
See above.
9436395
Don't argue with ME!
Take it up with Wikipedia (that invaluable compendium of meaningless trivia & drivel)
They're the ones that tried to tell me that there is no such word as "turrent"
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=turrent
9441222
The thing is though, your source wasn't wrong, you just misinterpreted it. Also, never use Wikipedia as a source and always use multiple sources. Chances are that Wikipedia could be wrong, and chances are that if you use a singular source it could be wrong.
Learnt that from English :P
Reason being that Wikipedia can be edited by literally anyone, and so its accuracy is iffy.
Also urban dictionary isn't Wikipedia.
9481705
Not removed. There's a fimfic admin blog post about rules regarding the use of color coding for dialogue which specifically stated that it shouldn't be used to persistently identify speakers in dialogue.
That's how I used it.
9481741
Enjoy.
9482737
For once, this was a bait.
9482917
Of course it will.
9483207
There can never be enough boop!