//------------------------------// // 44: Together, facing our worst nightmare. // Story: An Exercise In Management // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// “What do you mean ‘call One’?!” my eyes bulge, and I stand up. Four, listening in to our mental conversation, and pretending she isn’t, is ready for my sudden movement, ”Should we get out of the castle?” Eight frowns, still noiselessly following the group. “We need the love, King, especially you,” she hesitates, “Although getting out is an order I will obey if you insist. Something about these guys doesn’t feel right.” That makes me realize something huge. Eight got drained by the hive mind as well. I locked others out just in the nick of time, but I couldn’t disperse Eight’s link. She didn’t get hit as bad as I did, but she still is nowhere near the shape in which she fought the paladins. A fact which I didn’t help by keeping her away from me until now. I focus on my love levels, and keep only enough to be able to move and link everyone up. The rest I immediately send to Eight. The transfers, even long distance ones, are growing easier and easier between the two of us. “Alright, Eight. Keep an eye out on them while I contact One and Ten.” “Will do, my favourite sulking breeder.” To my surprise, Four standing next to me chuckles first, then gives me a meek smile. I just pat her head. “Go down and be ready in case Eight needs something. I’ll wobble to the throne room myself, but it won’t be quick by any stretch of the imagination.” “On it, boss. I’ve got an idea or two I’d like to try out.” “No succubus costumes!” “I wouldn’t dream of stealing miss One’s shtick,” she grins at me, and rushes down the turret staircase. I guess I should slowly follow. “One!” “Heeey, look who suddenly remembered he’s got a hive,” I can feel One raise an eyebrow while not skipping a beat in her conversation with Mayor Mare. What she’s doing in Ponyville town hall is beyond me, but I’m going to assume she had a good idea and leave it be. We’ve got bigger problems. ”Another group of adventurers is in the castle. Get you demonic ass over here as soon as you can.” “I think I’ll have to pass this time. Ten built a good ground work with Mayor Mare about us ‘renting’ an empty house in Ponyville, and I’d like to ‘seal the deal’ as they say. I’ll have her squirming under me in few minutes.” ”One, Eight said she needed you here for this one.” “WHAT?!” One takes a quick sip from her glass of water to cover her surprise, “I’ll be out of here in fifteen minutes. Whatever’s going on, you can last that long, right?” ”We’ll try.” “Good, I’ll come fed and ready.” ”Bring Ten, just in case.” Ten’s mental voice reaches me through the link immediately: “I’ll be ready to come back in five.” ”Good, both of you. I’ll keep all of us linked up so that you don’t miss anything.” “Boss,” Four’s voice is inside my head loud and clear, “I’ll lead the group through the castle like Three did last time. I also discovered that he kept updating our mental map with traps he found or prepared. They aren’t exactly dangerous, but can be annoying. I already sent Nine to the armory, and I’m plotting a good route there.” ”Good job. I’m wobbling to the lower throne room.” I finally reach the underground castle hallways, and focus on Eight again. Moving my own body while existing partially inside someone else’s is still confusing, but I’m getting better. The group Eight is tailing stops in front of the castle entrance, chatting. There are five ponies like before, but this time they definitely don’t look like teenagers. Their leader is a white earthpony mare as tall as Nine bearing a similar muscular build, with bright teal mane and tail. Unlike Nine, though, she’s clearly feminine to the max, resembling Eight a lot more in that respect. Broad-shouldered with tight waist, but her ample backside and thick thighs clearly show she could kick through a stone wall or crush some very happy stallion’s head between them. A set of chainmail “armor” - a strip around her chest, and a thong barely even visible in comparison to her plot, is totally not covering her. On her head, she’s wearing a silly metal circlet with two feathers sticking out of it, but the massive halberd she’s carrying on her back is definitely no joke. Twin cutie marks not even a blind changeling could miss adorn each of her unnaturally huge buttcheeks, each looking like an exploding star. “We should be the one walking ahead, Supernova, for we can fly and we possess a natural score for locks and traps skill of ninety!” says a second mare, a smaller, dark blue one, flapping her wings and hovering above the group. Her voice is loud, boisterous, and she speaks weird. “As you wish, Moonshine. Smart idea,” Supernova, the huge amazon, answers in a surprisingly friendly and motherly tone. Moonshine frowns. “However, we still object for our name to be that of some lowly peasant’s home beverage distilled from old socks.” Moonshine is lithe, although still rather tall for a pony, especially a pegasus, despite not reaching anywhere close to Supernova’s height and thickness. However, unlike the earthpony whose “armor” can easily compete against some of One’s more interesting disguises, Moonshine is wearing a tight brown leather jacket covering her barrel as well as pants and high boots. Sheathed around her waist is a rapier, but her main weapons seem to be twin curved blades locked on her forelegs. Her cutie mark isn’t visible under her pants, but there are some white dots, likely stars, painted on them in the flank department. She’s all dark blue, with silver mane and tail. Aaaand, she’s wearing a tricorn pirate hat for some reason. Note to self - have someone steal that for Three. “I think it fits rather well,” says Supernova, chuckling. “If thou say so, Superdough, ruler of sweet pastries. ‘Tis excellent that we agreed to join thou in this retreat, if only to see thou exercise for once.” “Ladies, ladies,” says a pink unicorn mare, the third member of the group soothingly, “No arguing. We decided that all of us need to get away from everything after what happened in Canterlot. A nice, OnO themed, relaxing adventure with a just little hint of real danger will do us good. Plus, if you break the power seals I spent days crafting just for this I’ll won’t forgive you.” Moonshine pokes the ‘cutie mark’ on her pants. “We believed thine seals to be unbreakable, archmage Sunrise Radiance.” The unicorn shrugs. “For me, Golden Barrier, and Cotton Candy yes, for you and Supernova… eeeeh, probably not with the time I had. Still, no cheating! We’ll scour the castle for the Holy Blade of the First Emperor, and see if there’s any evil to smite. Stick to your class abilities no matter what.” “Yarrr, we be in perrrrfect shape if our foe be multi-layered cake!” Moonshine switches from her weird speech into even weirder one, poking Supernova’s backside with one tip of her hat, “But bewarrre the dreaded el-salado!” “You’re just jealous,” Supernova winks at her. As the two begin to argue again, Sunrise Radiance facehoofs. I sympathize. I know how it feels to be the sane one between two mares going for each other’s throat. Speaking of the sighing unicorn. As said before, she’s all pink with dark blue mane and tail. Thankfully, she’s normal sized for a mare underneath a tall, pointy dark blue hat with yellow stars and silver rim. She’s also wearing a cloak with the same pattern as the hat completely covering her body. No fake beard of a wizard staff, though. The final two members of the group don’t look too interested in the constant chatter of the others, rubbing their muzzles and exchanging kisses instead. I’m going to assume the blond earthpony stallion with light grey coat wearing a full plate armor with yellow shield painted on its flank is the previously mentioned Golden Barrier, and the yellow unicorn mare with pink, curly mane and tail he’s exchanging boops and kisses with is Cotton Candy. If it was the other way around It’d be plain weird. Anyway, there isn’t much to say about Golden Barrier. He’s a classic earthpony stallion, and unlike the griffon invader last time, he at least looks as if the heavy armor slowed him down. However, his steady steps on the uneven ground full of broken masonry and tree roots reveal he must be used to wearing it. There’s a steel shield hanging from his side, and a simple spear on his back. Cotton Candy is almost as tall as Moonshine, which is to say bigger than the average unicorn mare, and she’s wearing a rather similar outfit to that of Glitterdust from the younger adventuring group - a flowy, see-through dress, albeit cut short to avoid the dreaded moments of getting entangled in anything and everything. Her cutie mark is a simple red cross, making me think she’s a medic or something.   Eight takes a step closer to the group, and Moonshine immediately freezes mid-insult. “We feel something approaching,” she turns her head, brows furrowed. Sunrise Radiance’s horn glows, before she shakes her head. “No invisibility or other obfuscation magic around, Moonshine. I think you’re just on edge.” Moonshine huffs indignantly, looks at the castle entrance broken to pieces, and smiles. “Home, sweet home,” lazily, she floats through, “Onwards, to adventure, the mighty Ogres and Oubliettes heroine Moonshine goes! To treasure, to danger, to distinct lack of confectionery!” Supernova, standing on top of the stairs leading towards the main gate, looks down at Sunrise Radiance watching her with mouth slightly ajar. “This doesn’t fit me, does it?” Supernova frowns, idly kicking back with her hind leg and making the string of chainmail dig even deeper between her cheeks, “Maybe I should exercise more...” “N-No!” Sunrise yelps before lowering her wizard hat to cover her face, “It looks perfect on you… I mean… I mean… it’s very authentic.” “Well, if you think so, Sunrise,” Supernova smiles, entering the castle with new spring in her step. Also, with a jiggle. “Onwards then!” The unicorn mage raises her hat again, revealing her beet red face and heavy breathing. “We need to do this more often,” she whispers to herself, then turns her head towards the remaining two members who are currently busy taking turns kissing each other’s noses. She rolls her eyes, but can’t hide a happy smile, “Come on, you two. The old castle awaits.” “Hmm?” they both look up as if noticing Sunrise for the first time, “Oh, right,” they say as one, and follow Sunrise inside, giggling like schoolfillies. I feel Four’s voice. “I’m ready. Miss Eight, I need you to get over here fast. It’s time for phase one,” Four sends us a location on the map inside one of the many secret tunnels, “I’ll explain what to do on the way.” Eight shrugs, and takes a route different from the one the adventurers are taking. We lose them for a moment, but invisible Four finds them soon, carefully walking through the first floor hallways with Moonshine first, and Golden Barrier in the back being saccharine with Cotton Candy so much I’m certain I’m getting diabetes just by watching through Four’s eyes. The long hallway is lined with stone statues, next to one of which Four is silently standing, watching the group about to pass her by, and counting. “Three, two, one… now, miss Eight!” she sends the signal. Green light envelops Eight who pushes a loose brick on the other side of the wall. “AAH!” Cotton Candy yelps when a section of the floor and a wall quickly spins along with her, the pony statue, Four, and Eight. A second later, Cotton Candy is inside a secret passage along with Four while… …another Cotton Candy is swaying in the main hallway, being caught by Golden Barrier. “Whoah, that scared me,” she says in the earthpony’s embrace, “Thank you,” her eyes go wide, and I could swear they just sparked sparked from all the love disguised Eight just got. Golden Barrier attributes her moment of dizziness to the quick spin around the wall, thankfully. Moonshine laughs. “We arrrr pleased to see that ye olde secret tunnels arrr still working after so long. We knew we hired the best arrrrrchitects in Equestria.” ”You okay, Eight?” Steadying herself, she nuzzles Golden Barrier’s neck, reveling in the energy building up inside her. “Ohhhhh yesss…. very much so, my King.” Still hidden inside the secret tunnel, real and extremely confused Cotton Candy tries to push various places of the wall which swallowed her. As she opens her mouth to call out, she feels sharp pain from her neck, and then there’s only sleepy peace and warm, comforting darkness. Green shimmer lights the tunnel as Four appears, eyes wide. “Oh no oh no oh no oh no no no no no no no...” she keeps mumbling, her mind flooded with Cotton Candy’s memories the flashes of which make absolutely no sense to me. Caverns, Canterlot, crystals, changelings, and fear permeating everything. ”Eight, link up with Four, now!” I connect the two directly. Several seconds later, Four’s panic gradually subsides, and she sits down, rubbing her temples. “This is bad,” she whimpers. “Then it’s even more important not to make a mistake,” Eight answers mentally, “You’ve got a job to do, Four. FOCUS!” The little infiltrator breathes in, then breathes out. She stands up, gives Cotton Candy a harsh look, then grows in size, and puts the unicorn on her back. “Alright, to the dungeons, and away from the paladins,” Four rushes off as fast as she can with her cargo. ”Eight, what’s going on?” “Thanks to ‘Golden Barrier’ loving ‘Cotton Candy’ so much, I’m getting a rather quick and complete refill.” I know when my question is being avoided. ”With FOUR!” “Look, King, right now I’ve got the love to process a lot of bad memories Four received far too fast through a single bite. Smart little infiltrator, she is. Maybe there is something to One being a good teacher when she wants to be. The last thing I need is you pestering me. If you trust me, you’ll give me some time and keep thinking of this operation as just another adventurer group. We can’t have you panic like Four.” GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME ANYTHING?! Breathe in… Breathe out… To my surprise, it’s Eight who speaks up first again: “Good, now that you’re pissed off, you’re less likely to run away.” ”You know I CAN’T run away even if I wanted to. Shapeshifting, hive mind, stuff...” Eight exchanges a kiss with Golden Barrier while following the trio of ponies actually taking the adventure seriously. “I don’t know why, but I assume some gods of fate are laughing at us like crazy, my King. The ‘Cotton Candy’ mare is princess Mi Amore Cadenza whom Chrysalis imprisoned in old mining caverns inside Canterlot mountain. Golden Barrier is her husband Shining Armor, the captain of Canterlot Royal Guard. The mage of the group is Celestia’s apprentice Twilight Sparkle, and the two constantly bickering mares who could put me and One to shame are Celestia and Luna themselves.” My knees buckle under me. Thankfully, by now I’m inside the throne room, so I just belly flop on the floor. ”We have to run.” “The thing is, King, that they’re here to have a good time, to relax, to take a break from their duties. Plus, Shining Armor is giving me an overcharge I haven’t felt before. I’m half-tempted to keep him.” ”If anything goes wrong, they won’t need to send an army our way, Eight. You’re in a group with TWO ALICORNS.” “And they have no clue what’s going on. As I said, panicking won’t help. I can’t simply disappear at this point, so we have to play this out for now and see what we can come up with. Plus, they seem to have used some sort of magic to keep their real power sealed for now.” ”I’ll brief One.” Receiving a mental nod, I share everything I heard with One. I could really use a good idea or two right now because I’m drawing blanks. “Agreed, King. We’re in deep shit. Stall them as long as you can, I’m almost there,” is all One says. Thankfully, Four takes charge when the rest of us are being useless. “HAHAAA! We spotted a foe!” announces Luna victoriously, stopping in mid-air while pointing her drawn rapier at… ...Four watching them from the end of the hall with eyes wide. “A changeling?” asks Celestia, readying her halberd. Shining Armor scowls. “Damn this!” he readies his spear and shield, walking in front of Eight, “I won’t let them do anything to you this time, Cotton Candy.” “This one looks different from the most. Not bulky at all, plus I haven’t seen a single changeling covered in grey streaks,” Twilight’s curiosity wins, and instead of charging a spell she levitates a notebook, immediately sketching Four. “Nonetheless!” Luna darts towards the comparatively tiny changeling, “A weak foe is still a foe to be vanquished!” “Eep!” Four squeaks, immediately disappearing behind the corner. ”Four, what are you doing?!” “Trust me, boss! I’ve got an idea.” With that, she waits near a door cracked open, sticks her tongue out at approaching Luna being closely followed by Celestia, and hops through the crack without touching the door itself. Luna stops in front of it, looks down, looks up, and grins to herself. When she turns her head back to Celestia, the grin is gone, replaced by a deadly serious expression. “Tharrr be no trap on the door, but who knows what might be lurking behind it. Go ahead, warrrrior!” “Alright,” Celestia readies her halberd, rears on three legs, and charges right through the doorway, shattering the door in the process and… *Clink* *Squelch!* “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Luna does a barrel roll in the air while pointing at Celestia, and laughing like crazy. The previously white mare is now covered in green goo slowly dripping from her entire body. Her formerly fluffy white coat now sticks directly to her figure, tightly hugging every contour of it. “You knew!” hisses Celestia, picking up the now empty bucket that was balanced atop the door prior to her charge. “We must have messed up ourrr locks and traps roll,” Luna bursts into a fresh fit of laughter when Celestia ineffectively scoops the goo from her mane, only managing to spread it all over her face, and fails to flick it off with her hoof. “Oh Four, you sly little critter, so this was your next step...” I hear Eight’s voice in my head. From her eyes, I see Twilight staring, jaw dropped, at Celestia’s massive behind slimy and shiny from the goo. She doesn’t notice the small river of blood coming from one of her nostrils. “Whoever prepared the bucket… thank you, thank you, thank you,” her whisper is audible only to Eight who grins when Twilight quickly levitates up a camera and snaps several photos. Four peeks out of a guest room a little further down the hallway, completely unnoticed. She waves her hoof and clears her throat, which is still lost on Celestia swinging her halberd at laughing Luna flying above and taunting her. Twilight is completely out of it, her head following every jiggle of Celestia’s plot. Shining Armor seems to have relaxed, seeing that the trap wasn’t anything serious, and is nuzzling Eight’s neck again. “Heeey!” Four raises her squeaky voice a little, and is ignored yet again. Eight coughs and calls out, pointing her hoof at Four. “Oh nooo, there’s the changeling!” The bickering stops immediately, both royal sisters now rushing at Four, one flapping and one squelching. Twilight uses the chance to run just a little slower than Celestia, staying straight behind her and drooling. “I’ll protect you, Candy,” whispers Shining Armor into Eight’s ear, “If Chrysalis is involved in this, we’ll make her regret ever setting her eyes on Canterlot.” “My hero,” fawns Eight, internally fighting against the crashing waves of sarcasm needing to be voiced out loud. “Careful, a trap door!” Luna flies over an unremarkable spot on the floor. Celestia jumps over it immediately, her landing jiggle setting off Twilight’s nosebleed again. Locked in her private student-teacher fantasy, Twilight steps right on the trap door and goes ‘whoosh!’ straight down. “Aaaa-?!” “Tw- Sunrise!” calls out Celestia, hearing Twilight’s scream quickly cut off. She leans into the dark pit, “Are you okay?” “I- I think so… owowowow.” “I’ll get her out!” Luna darts towards the trap door which closes in front of her muzzle. Her stomping on it yields nothing as it now looks like a solid piece of the stone floor again. Down in the silent darkness, Twilight lights up her horn. Thankfully, this is only a simple square room seemingly without any exit, no spikes, no hidden saws, no deadly mechanisms like in Daring Do and the Temple of Unspeakably Gory Death. “Huh… grass?” she raises an eyebrow, carefully poking the pile of moss, grass, and soft branches that cushioned her fall, “This is weird. Traps usually aren’t meant to just scare somepony...” she rubs her chin, leaning down to the pile to examine it closely, “Plus, this is all either fresh or few days old.” Back up in the hallway, things are far less peaceful. “We’ve got to save her!” Shining Armor beats against the trap door with his armored hooves to no avail. Behind him, Eight watches the two panicking earthponies and one pegasus. After a moment, I hear her message: “We need to sort this out. Divide and conquer only works if they stay divided. Has One finally lugged her bony ass in here?” “I’LL SHOW YOU BONY, YOU MUSCLE-FOR-BRAINS!” my eyes cross as I hear the answer through a different link. “Ah, good. Took you long enough,” answers Eight, unfazed, “I need you here right now,” a location on my mental map lights up immediately, “I’m sending you the plan. Same goes for you, Four.” Several flashes of ideas and memories later, Four says: “Will do, miss Eight.” Back in reality, which means in the castle hallway, Eight points her hoof at the far end, and yells loud enough to drown the others arguing how best to save Twilight: “LOOK! There’s the changeling again. She- it will know how to get to Sunrise!” The group notice Four’s head peeking from behind the corner. When faced with three furious glares, Four- “Eep!” -trots off again, leaving the group only with the tapping of her hooves disappearing into the distance.   “Excellent idea, Cotton Candy!” Luna praises her, “Sunrise wasn’t hurt, we just need a way to get to her. Onwards!” Worried, they follow the little infiltrator again. *** Below them, Twilight finishes tapping on the walls of her prison, allowing herself a smug smirk when one section of the wall sounds different. This place definitely isn’t accessible only using wings or teleportation. Huh, teleportation. Now, her character could cast translocation magic, but only using magic circles and preparation beforehoof. Of course, she could easily blink upwards, but that would be cheating and THAT ISN’T WHAT THIS RETREAT IS ALL ABOUT NO MATTER WHAT SOMEPONY MIGHT THINK. Seriously, persuading the princesses, especially princess Celestia, not to undergo this as alicorns was a nightmare. “Crazy workaholic...” she mumbles, “Aah?!” The sudden flash of light subsides, revealing- “Princess Celestia? Your seal. What are you-?” Twilight is silenced by a pristine white wing pressed against her muzzle. The alicorn smiles at her softly, and Twilight can’t help noticing how the light of her horn slides against Celestia’s still gleaming, wet, gooey body. Not the wings, though, the beautiful, massive white wings she didn’t have when she ran through the booby-trapped door. “My dearest student,” to Twilight’s surprise, Celestia looks at loss for words, “I… when you fell down here, when I couldn’t see you in the darkness… I panicked. I’m so sorry for breaking the seal you so meticulously crafted, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you down here, alone, possibly bleeding out on a spike. I apologize again for ruining your- our adventure.” Celestia covers her face with her wing. “I-” Twilight’s anger evaporates instantly. It’s obvious the princess only meant well, “I called out that I was okay.” “I must have missed it, I’m sorry,” Celestia sits down and hangs her head low, wings now limp against her body. She notices them getting sticky, and flaps them ineffectively, only spreading the green liquid further over herself, “Oh damn, I messed this up for everypony. I just… all I could think of was you here, hurt,” she shakes her head, “I’m stupid. You’re not just my little student anymore, you’re a grown mare, powerful and beautiful.” “B-Beautiful?” stutters Twilight, walking closer to Celestia. “Without a shred of doubt,” the princess wraps her wings around Twilight who leans into the embrace, and whispers into her ear, her hot breath tickling the unicorn, “and I noticed you taking pictures of me.” Twilight freezes, her world shattering. Now there’s no way she won’t be banished from Equestria. She broke the princess’ trust, and- -she’s suddenly breathing Celestia’s scent mingling with the minty smell of the goo, her nose pressed right against the princess’ chest. “It’s not the first time, is it?” Twilight nods, her cheeks burning. Celestia grabs her hoof and guides it to her royal haunches. Twilight looks up, eyes wide, into the blushing alicorn’s amethyst eyes. “Princess?” In a golden flash, Celestia’s wings are gone. “Just… Supernova for now, my little Sunrise. Pictures of pretty princess can hardly match how a real amazon feels,” she pushes Twilight on her back. “Oh gods...” Twilight breathes out, her forelegs kneading Supernova’s powerful chest muscles. “Just goddess,” grins One, kissing absolutely ecstatic Twilight.