The scene must be out of this world.
Six changelings, our jaws dropped, staring at a green earthpony with reddish brown mane lying on what looks like a big bag filled with sand who is looking back with a dizzy smile. The entire small room is warm from the small fireplace in its center near which stands a weird metal contraption holding a bulbous glass container filled with billowing mist which the earthpony inhales via a long, thin tube the end of which she’s holding.
She blows out a rather well-crafted smoke ring.
”See, boss? Totally a medusa pony, snake mane and everything. Wait, will she turn us to stone?” Three clamps a foreleg over his eyes, ”Are you okay? Why is no one talking?”
“We’re alright, Three,” I watch the earthpony showing no signs of fear or aggression towards us, “And none of us are stoned, I think.”
”Yet!” One trots over to the earthpony who gives her a curious smile, ”Scoot over and pass the pipe.”
The pony shuffles aside, making enough space on the “bag” for the significantly larger changeling, then passes her the pipe. One inhales deeply, then blows out a blue-ish cloud from her nostrils.
”Smooooth...”
“One?” I wave my hoof at the unusually relaxed changeling.
“Two?” the earthpony grins at me.
”Three!” guess who raises his hoof as well.
”Uhh, Four. Boss, I think I know what’s going on,” Four nudges me.
”Obviously, we infiltrators would know,” Ten rolls his eyes, ”I’m not a fan, but the lower classes enjoy this kind of passtime- oops!” he realizes his mistake when One gives him a single raised eyebrow while partaking in more smoke from the pipe.
”Someone explain right now, or I’m certain the King will order me to make you talk soon,” Eight rubs her muzzle against my neck, ”And I’ll make sure you all know how much I enjoy his orders.”
Ooookay, Eight’s weirding me out now. I’m sure One broke something in her.
”Gee, leave it for the fetish dungeon you’ll inevitably build one day,” One only chuckles, ”Let’s start with the important thing - we’re not in any immediate danger, the stuff on this nice pony’s head aren’t snakes, but dreadlocks, and she won’t turn you to stone, but you might get stoned. Speaking of which, Eight, I heard sex on weed is amaaaazing. Just food for your thought.”
”Like… grass?” Eight furrows her brows, her thought apparently chewing like a hungry dragon.
One bursts out laughing, accompanied by Ten’s more distinguished snickering.
I lean down to Four’s ear.
“Are you sure we’re not in danger?”
”Definitely not from the pony, no. If she’s a distraction, though, then she’s doing a great job. I’m sure miss One thought about that possibility, though.”
“Care to explain what’s going on before I really have to order Eight to start punching randomly?”
”The glass thing is called a pipe. It uses heat to produce smoke by burning certain herbal or chemical substances,” Four waves her hoof around to show the strangely smelling mist all around, ”This ‘weed’ is a slang term for one of them - a slightly addictive relaxant which dulls pain and in minor doses helps to focus. In bigger doses it’ll make your head ache, though, and it might make you sick. From what I heard it’s mostly harmless or even useful when used properly. Basically alcohol, but causes less brain damage, and if you want my opinion it also smells a bit better. Oh yeah, and ponies get super hungry when they smoke it, hence the bags of chocolate hay wafers next to the… chair bag thingy.”
“I feel so dumb now, Four. You’ve learned so much in the few weeks of your life...”
”It’s not your fault, boss, that you can’t go outside. You’re welcome to tag along in my head any time.”
“Thanks, Four.”
I really should follow my infiltrators more. How can I make proper decisions when I know nothing about ponies?
“Come sit down. My name is Tree Hugger. You won’t all fit on the bean bag, but the small ones can sit in our laps,” the earthpony beckons at the floor next to her… bean bag chair. When we don’t move, her composure wavers for the first time, ”I’ve got enough snacks for everypony,” she nods to the sacks of wafers.
”Oh come on, we’re in no danger. Her mind is an open book,” we all feel One’s message in our heads, ”Do you really think I wouldn’t scan her head the second I saw her?”
I shrug.
“Alright, I guess there’s no reason to refuse a friendly invitation like this,” I sit down by the fireplace, “Although we don’t really eat your snacks, miss Tree Hugger.”
“Miss,” Tree Hugger giggles, “Just Tree Hugger. And what’s your name… names?”
“I am… well, I used to be called drone two hundred thousand… and… you know, I don’t remember anymore. Now these guys call me boss, or king for some reason-”
I introduce everyone. To my surprise, Tree Hugger doesn’t look too surprised by us having numbers instead of names like ponies.
“-and we are changelings, not ponies,” I add, wondering about her reaction.
“Oooooh,” Tree Hugger nods knowingly, “So that’s why your chakras are all weird and gloomy. So, you don’t eat chocolate wafers? I’ve got a pack of caramels in a bag somewhere. Not the cute earthpony from Ponyville, but the candy. Heheh, if only I had a pack of pony Caramels...”
“We eat love, or positive emotions like affection, friendship, lust… the list goes on,” I explain.
“Wooooow, that’s amazing,” Tree Hugger’s smile only grows wider, “I wish we all could live on love. The world would be such nice place,” out of nowhere, she she wraps her forelegs around One’s neck, and pulls herself into One’s lap, stretching up to boop her nose, “Don’t worry, I’ve got enough love for everypony… and everynotpony.”
“Alright, everyone, I guess we can take it easy for a moment.”
As soon as I say it, Eight sits down by my side, and Four eases herself into her lap. Three looks around, then hops into the bean bag chair. Tree Hugger immediately unwraps one of her forelegs from around One’s neck and puts it around Three’s.
”Now you’re Three Hugger, miss!” the drone chirps happily. I sense a quick transfer of love as Tree Hugger giggles.
Ten, however, shakes his head.
”I’ll go check up on the others, if you don’t mind. This isn’t exactly my kind of relaxation. If you ever get to the Ring of the Nibelungponies, call me.”
I nod, and he leaves.
“So, what are you doing in my hideout?” asks Tree Hugger, “I normally drop by Fluttershy’s cottage, but some of her animals are sick, so she has them inside, and they don’t like the smoke. They don’t know what they’re missing. Zecora’s stash is amazing.”
”We’re-”
”We’re just passing through,” One interrupts Three immediately, ”You stop here often then?”
“Once, twice a week. I prefer buying fresh supplies to storing them in my cellar,” Tree Hugger chomps on some wafers, then gives the bag to Three for safekeeping. He sniffs it, licks one, then shrugs and gives it to One who tosses it back inside, “Oh right, love. How does that work? I mean, how do you get love?”
In sync, we all look at One.
”Eh, we hunt. We can absorb it from ponies, shapeshift into somepony they love or they lust after. Usually it’s a one-night thing, then we gotta move so that we’re not found.”
“Wow, you can transform into other ponies? Waaaaait, you’re the guys from Canterlot!” Tree Hugger facehoofs, “I was there when you swarmed the place.”
Strangely enough, she seems more curious than afraid.
”Aaand you’re not screaming for help?” One tilts her head. Tree Hugger raises her foreleg, and pats Three’s head.
“You’re less scary up close when you’re not hissing and growling. So it was love you wanted, I see. Well, I love everypony who isn’t all nasty, so you’re fine in my book. Plus, that cocoon was mega comfy. I just wish it wasn’t so wet. It plays hell with my roll-ups.”
”She’s baked off her ass, king, but she isn’t kidding. We could get a good meal out of her,” One whispers inside my head.
”Don’t say that out loud, One. Let’s leave it as plan B.”
“Anyway,” Tree Hugger crawls off of One, and puts Three in her lap while taking his place, “I heard once that the really good hunters don’t chase prey, but wait for the prey to come to them.”
”It’s not that easy. We have to hide, hunt, and hide again.”
“I dunno. You said lust worked, right? Why don’t you build a brothel or night club somewhere? If you can transform into anypony, you’ll be loaded every day. And love… I mean it’s not like real love, but there are escort services. There’s a bunch of lonely souls who would just love company, even if only for a while. If you’re in it for the affection, you could do it cheap. Foal care, of course. I volunteered in an orphanage for few months, and the foals love anypony who really cares for them. Love resonates, you know? The more you give, the more you get. Oh, and pets, pets are great. Fluttershy could talk about her animals for days.”
”That would never work for the… whole… hive...” One stops, scrunching her nose, ”...ten… twenty… maybe…?” she whispers, looking at each of us.
”Huh?!” Three claps his hooves together, ”Shuffles! I wonder if he would like living in some nice cool cellar in this Ponytown place.”
”I don’t think they sell canned souls in Ponyville pet store.”
“Anyway,” Tree Hugger scratches Three behind the ear, “why don’t you try to find somepony for real? I mean, you really can be anypony, so it shouldn’t be hard to start off the relationship with the physical side. You seem pretty nice too.”
Once again, we all look at One. She knows the most about why plans like this never succeeded. Eight could say her fair share, but now she’s just sitting here, leaning against me with her head on my shoulder.
”It’s hard for a changeling to bond for life. We can live for centuries if we have love, and if everything doesn’t go well, love turns to habit and comfort, and those don’t feed us, not enough. I heard about changelings who escaped from the hive and… made a life for themselves, but those cases are rare.”
“Then… can’t you, like, love each other?”
The corner of One’s mouth curls up as she winks at me.
”Ooh yes, hard and fast.”
”Back off, harlot,” Eight sticks her tongue out at One, ”I obey my King to the letter. That’s who I am, and that’s what your dominant ego can’t fake.”
”Sure, but I know deep down drones, or ex-drones have that little part of them which desperately needs to be whipped and taken. Hmm… king as a pet. Shadow eminence One, that sounds… tempting.”
Three laughs, something none of us even remotely expected.
”The boss said miss Eight was my pet when we met her, but she didn’t have a litterbox and I didn’t feed her. Mostly she fed me. Wait, am I a pet? Can I get a pat?”
Eight stands up, circles around the fire, and pats Three who nuzzles her hoof. I sense a transfer of love, and Eight feels a little stronger. On the other hoof, if I can sense change in Eight, then Three should be exhausted now, but… he isn’t? Even he feels a little fuller.
What just happened?
“Love resonates...” I mutter to myself.
One takes a deep breath, then puffs another cloud.
”Ayyy, like love crystals, right?” her now unfocused eyes roll a bit backwards, ”I made them from my goo, and… I mean, what are we… right? We’re like… big blobs of goo… just with crunchy shell… like the crystals... like, you know, we resonate… you know… with each other.”
Aaand she’s out cold.
Tree Hugger puts her head into One’s lap, carefully puts the smoke hose down, and she’s asleep within a moment as well.
Three carefully jumps off of her.
”Boss, can I go outside? It’s too warm in here for me, and the smoke is making my head spin.”
“Sure,” I realize something and stomp my hoof, “Wait, how about you carry Tree Hugger to the cottage we saw when we arrived in the forest? I think it’s where her Fluttershy friend lives. It was right on the edge, and there were pens for loads of animals around.”
I know how much he liked ponies in Wet Soil, and the fact that he was the only one without any friend in Canterlot other than Shuffles was hard for him.
”CAN I?!” Three’s eyes go wide, he clamps his forelegs over his mouth to quieten down, ”Really? That’s awesome! There could be more ponies who might like us.”
”That’s pretty risky, boss,” comments Four, ”At least without taking care of Tree Hugger’s memories.”
I nod.
“It IS risky, Four, but there’s nothing negative for her to remember. Maybe she’ll be quiet about us, or maybe she’ll even say a good word or two to somepony.”
”Or maybe she’ll call the police, guards, or the paladins on us,” Eight frowns.
“For once, I thought about this possibility, Eight. You and Four will accompany Three, but stay hidden. Then Four will keep an eye on Tree Hugger, and you’ll have to patrol around the castle in detail. We’ll keep it up for few days and see what happens. Three has already found few emergency ways out of the castle through the underground tunnels.”
”That’s a lot of effort instead of just mucking up her head and letting her go-” Eight stops when I nod sideways to Three grinning like a foal on Hearth’s Warming. She sighs, but nods with a smile, ”Of course, my King. Four, Three, let’s go.”