Twilight Sparkle has had a full year, dealing with one problem after the another, learning new and exiting things about friendship, while keeping up with her studies and somehow trying to get enough sleep to stay active. That used to be well and good, but then Celestia deemed her ready to rise into alicornhood. A great honor, one Twilight Sparkle would not even dream of denying, but it did add onto the stress of her everyday life ever so slightly.
Now, despite cutting back on her personal research and study to maybe find that balance again, she still struggles to find the time and energy to keep up with Rainbow Dash's flying lessons. After two weeks of being a alicorn she still struggles from a disconcertingly empty dreamscape and a constant fatigue that continues to pile up on her mind.
It does not help her mental state when she starts seeing things that are not there, along with an emotionless voice and writing in the air nopony else can see. Even more frightening is the fact the voices in her head are not making any sense! I mean, what kind of name is MCF-AIC-MA-36?
This is quite an awesome and action-filled first chapter. I look forward to seeing a reasonable explanation of where and how did the AI come from - apparently, it was either integrated before Twilight's ascension and activated after detecting the sudden change of host's biology, or it was given Twilight with the alicornhood, but doesn't have the software for alicorn for some reason.
Overall, it looks like the beginning of an interesting story. Following.
8126608
Glad you enjoyed it, will try to keep the quality up.
I know you didn't actually ask questions and the answers themselves might be better given in future chapters, but I do feel like at least giving you more accurate questions.
Why did the voice in her head switch from calling her "host" to calling her "user"?
What is this "colony" MCF-AIC-MA-36 was taking about?
Why would Twilight Sparkle's "designated relaxation music" be an old human song?
Why would Twilight's "User bio-metrics" put her in clear and present danger in Equestrian society?
Out of curiosity, have you ever read a story called A̶r̶t̶i̶f̶i̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ Intelligence, written by yours truly? I'm not accusing you of anything. I just think the similarities are a bit uncanny.
8126773
Nope, might check it out.
It's an interesting concept, and I'd like to see where this goes.
8126975
Noice!
A minor note, but is there any specific reason you consistently refer to Rainbow Dash as 'pegasi'? Pegasi is the plural form; a singular individual is a 'pegasus'. Considering you are using it constantly for a specific individual, I feel the singular is required by the text.
8127581
Nope, just downright forgot. I'm going to keep an eye on that and might go through this chapter, as well.
God darn pegasussessisses...
Super creepy... Like SUPER creepy but I can dig it.
Great opening and I really like where this is hinting at going!
I can't wait for more! :)
Interesting.
Mysterious and intriguing...
Hopefully she can convince 36 that informing her friends and the Princess about this will be beneficial. Kidnapping her from the hospital and taking her to some unknown facility would be very inconvenient. I also wonder how this revelation will effect Twilight's self confidence. How much of her intellect, one of the things that makes Twilight who she is, is her own hard work and talent?
I'm sorry, what? Do they? And if they do how does Twilight suddenly know that? Because 36 clearly initiated both of those links and the only thing remotely "code" like was the Latin that neither of them understood. There was literally nothing anywhere in that exchange that so much as hinted that her parents could initiate the communications or had any sort of predefined "code-phrases".
8168521
"The whistling noise stopped and the screen was filled with the view of a piece of paper with a string of numbers and a square within a circle drawn on it. A quill levitated by unicorn magic floated into view and started writing below the symbol."
This is what represented the code and the symbol that would have to be represented with the numbers to initiate the connection. MCF-AIC-MA-36 then used the greek philosophical idiom as a way for Twilight Velvet to present both the code and symbol to Night Light, so that his connection would be also activated and Twilight would know both of her parents knew about her situation. The numbers could be changed after every subsequent connection and if the assigned symbol was not there, then their connection would not activate and their connection to MCF-AIC-MA-36 would not be compromised, even if they encountered either of the two in real life.
Either Twilight Velvet or Night Light could try and initiate the connection and all they would be doing is staring at a piece of paper intently, but it would be MCF-AIC-MA-36 that would have to set up the connection and maintain it, so it was still in its control whether or not any interaction happened. The way to initiate connection from MCF-AIC-MA-36's end would most likely work like a telephone call, with one of the two having to find a secluded place to write out both the numerical code and the symbol for the connection to activate.
Twilight Sparkle was hospitalized and there was something wrong with her brain, so her parents would understandably be ready to ask MCF-AIC-MA-36 about it, if they knew about the cerebral implants. MCF-AIC-MA-36 knew they would be willing to talk to him and he'd already heard Spike had sent word to Canterlot, so he could make the same assumption that Twilight made about her parents being on their way.
I could have stopped this response at the first paragraph, but I didn't want to.
8168365
Makes you wonder if it has anything to do with the fact Twilight Velvet and Night Light never had that third child?
8168559
That REALLY doesn't work then. Not as a "contact code", it would work fine for that... it just doesn't work as an answer to my question. Because that isn't what happened. In addition to failing to use a quote box for your section of quoted text you also cut it off right before the part that contradicts what you said.
See, if Twilight Velvet had initiated that contact then asking that would be literally calling someone and then demanding to know why they called you. Meaning this does not in-fact provide a basis for Twilight Sparkle to make that assumption. The number sequence and symbol act like a page? Ok, fine. But those interactions do not indicate that. We watched it from Sparkle's perspective and saw/heard everything she did... and from the perspective/information it gave every appearance that everything was initiated by 36, which it was.
This entire section is completely irrelevant since it is blatantly disproven by the fact that, again, Twilight Velvet states that 36 contacted her.
8168828
Twilight Velvet did not initiate the contact, I am sorry if you have come to that conclusion. MCF-AIC-MA-36 Initiated the dialogue to indirectly let Twilight know of its agreement with Twilight Velvet and Night Light.
The code and symbol are the equivalent of pressing the green telephone symbol on your phone. It connects your call if you are being called upon, but there is no guarantee the other way around. MCF-AIC-MA-36 wants to keep control over the situation, maybe part of the reason Twilight Velvet and Night Light don't have their natural born right eyes anymore?
They were parents with one of their children in the hospital and the thing that had promised to "normalize" the brain of their daughter was contacting them after an toddler dragon had barfed up a letter to their celestial overlord, which had information that happened to be conveyed to them.
They know MCF-AIC-MA-36 is like a impossibly verbose computer, so the best way to get information out of it would be to ask questions, no matter how inane they would be to a human/equine.
efficient, but not cruel.
Well, that ended with a bang.
Woot.
(scream of offended sensibilities from the direction of the Carousel Boutique)
8267828
Woops, fixed.
Well, Twilight's headache did make her see silver bells, so it wasn't wrong, technically.
Aww, is there no more?
8568334
I'll both have to write it and try to see if there is a way to incorporate voice clips into the document.
8575238
I think that's possible. They can add pictures and videos, why not audio clips?
And good luck writing the rest! 👍
I hope this continues, I really like it :)
8675179
Any idea if there's a way to embeb audio, like you dan do with videos and links?
8682919
Can we embed WebM's?
8683216
I've made audio snippets using audacity that would be cool to throw in, but don't know what to do with them beyond that. I am not that proficient with technology.
8683325
I guess you could upload them to SoundCloud and paste a link?
https://soundcloud.com/stream
[edit test]
https://soundcloud.com/von-voctavia/fluttershy-somepony-to-love
8683402
Guess I'll have to do that if I don't figure a better solution out. Best option would be a little player embebbed in the chapter itself, but doesn't seem like fimfiction has that option... eh, we'll see.
what did I just read?
P.S. previous chapters were strange, but internally consistent. This one is just plain weird. There is no rhyme or reason to what is going on. If that was what you have been aiming for, well done.
Because I feel like I understand even less about what is going on than Luna does.
8694202
I swear it makes sense to me in my head. The mystery is genuinely part of the story, but I might be in my own head too much for the consistency of the story
The last lines are supposed to be read like command prompts in not quite accurate representation of a computer window, but the line breaks didn't transfer over properly.
Well at least we now know beond any doubt that the humans are evil in in this story, considering they just created a fully sapient creature and then murdered it in cold blood for their own convenience (or manipulated Luna into murdering it but same difference). While the continued buildup of the mystery is interesting i must admit i find the reduction of the humans from morally ambiguous deal makers and manipulators to murderous mind raping monster kind of disappointing...
oh well at least its still interesting enough that i'l continue reading, looking forward to the next chapter.
8694362
I am not going to argue on the morality of MCF-AIC-MA-36 and his kin, but I would like to point out the interesting fact that the chapter is TS-SIC-01, while the asset terminated is TS-SIC-02.
What happened to TS-SIC-01? What does TS-SIC-01 even stand for?
8694403
TS-SIC-01 would presumably be the Twilight Sparkle we had as a pow character up till now (and the one watching/interfering in the events in this chapter by sending Luna messages through the media system) with the 01 indicating either the original or that she is the first clone after whatever happened to her/the real twilight the in the past, no idea what the SIC stands for yet (simulacrum? that would indicate pow twilight is indeed a copy...). As for where she is/what happened to her i would assume she is in whatever facility they where trying to extract her to as was Luna before they released her.
TS-SIC-02 was obviously the copy that was killed.
CQ and CD are presumably changeling queen and changeling drone (supported by the higher number for the drones). Which would indicate that there are/where 3 other changeling queens, interesting but not immediately relevant.
RA is presumably a type of entity not an individual like the changeling drones based on the high number and the lack of "SIC" (indicating RA like drones are not simulating specific individuals?) no idea what kind of creature specifically though.
At least that seems like the obvious interpretations of the tags up intill now...
Also congratulations you managed to get me to re-read the whole series and spend way to much time thinking this through again.
On an unrelated note since i forgot to mention this in my first comment i don't think you have to worry about the story being to convoluted not to mention inconsistent, the flow of events seemed clear enough to me: Luna was (accidentally?) injured by the humans so they brought her to the same facility as twilight to heal her, while she was strapped down for surgery but before they sedated her twilight managed to contact her via the media system by playing parts of songs to her. After her surgery was complete Luna was released and returned to ponivile only find the ponies brainwashed (presumably through more nano tech) and a fake twilight inserted to hide the fact that the real one was gone. When the fake was revealed it was forced to pretend to be a changeling and commit suicide indicating that the changelings had kidnapped the princesses, again to justify why twilight was gone and try to hide the humans involvement. Presumably the reason Lunas memory was not changed was because the experience with twilight shows that memory alteration is harmful to alicorns (chapter 2) and they apparently don't want to harm ponies (the ones they themselves created apparently not counting in their eyes...). The humans then tried to contact their changeling agents/slaves to set something up to make the supposed kidnappning more believable only to find out that they where either destroyed or somehow managed to throw of the humans control, prompting the humans to send "RA" to find out what happened. Assuming i got that all right it seems clear enough to me?
What I don’t understand is what was the point of releasing Luna into a Ponyville with that kind of setup and not tell her at least something about it?
Did these people just assume Luna would just play along?
Did they want her to freak out and kill the fake Twilight? Seems really stupid if they wanted to stay below the radar.
I can understand Luna’s reaction given her experiences. But that just makes it all the more bizzare they told her nothing only to make the town so obviously weird.
If your goal was to completely dumbfound the reader than mission accomplished.
On a side note I was by far looking forward to what happened to the real purple smart instead of Luna, but that’s just a personal preference.
8694238
I figured out that much, but you see, the designations don't make much sense for someone not in the know.
Like, I get that TS in TS-SIC-01 stands for Twilight Sparkle, but CQ? CD? RA?
Changeling Queen and Changeling Drone?
8694644
I have to say that reading your comment quite literally made my week. I've been going around and around in my own head with what could I possibly say back to that could possibly have the same effect, but I have come up short. Some author am I, being at a loss for words at something like this.
At this moment I can only say that I am glad there's someone out there who I am writing this for, other than myself. Thank you for reading and enjoying my work.
Well... This chapter was certainly trippy. I had to read it a couple times and read logros's comment to figure out what was going on.
Quite fucked up, and convoluted.
Let me guess, the ship Sadeen is talking about was an ark ship carrying the remnants of humanity - remnants after the war with Celestia but seemingly not Luna. Because Luna wasn't around yet?
Either way, if Sadeen is operating under Azimov's laws of robotics (she even quotes the first law), including the 'not a human' loophole, then her view of Celestia is understandable.
Hmm. I can see why Celestia would have fought them - strict adherence to the Three Laws could have resulted in a reverse-Conversion-Bureau scenario, if the AIs came to see ponies as humans in potentia.
8803768
I'd think what strict adherence to the three laws would bring about is wholly contingent on any order the AI's are trying to achieve. Other sapient beings are not protected by the three laws, so simple robots are more likely to go through a pony, if it is the most effective way to fulfill an order.
Case in point is what happened with Luna, she tried to stop the green mist from retrieving what it considered to be a critically wounded human, so it removed her as an obstacle in the most efficient way.
The same could be said quite literally in Twilight's case; her brain is becoming human, so MCF-AIC-MA-35 is ready to cut through Twilight Sparkle to save a human life.
8803539
While i agree that the ship Celestia destroyed seems to have been an arc ship i don't see why you would think that Celestia would have been at war with humanity before before that, why would humanity evacuate to Equestria if the two where at war?
Unless you mean that Equestria is Earth but the story directly contradicts that:
8803844
Well, while your interpretation (a failed research/colonization attempt) is more logical, I'm surprised by the lack of reaction to one of human ships being blown to bits over supposedly empty planet. Sadeen makes it sound like AIs were on their own since the crash, and this situation lasted long enough for them to infiltrate pony society.
8803881
?
If you read my comment again I never said it it was a research ship i agreed that it was probably an arc ship from Earth, i just said that there is no indication that Celestia was the one that destroyed Earth in the first place. Other than that i agree that humanity seems to be dead and gone, if not they should indeed have responded in some way by now.
8803887
Well, I just tried to broaden the scope a bit. =)
The question is whether or not the ship represented the last of humanity.
The scenario I initially suggested is inspired by another fic, in which humanity makes a sleeper ark-ship to escape wrath of Discord, and lands back on Earth millenia afterwards.
I get that the purpose of the AIs’ explainations are deliberately obtuse, so let me see if I got this right. Birth defective Twilight is taken to the AIs. The AIs put in implants to correct the problems. In order to do this, the AIs turn BD twilight’s brain into a human one so thier programming would allow them to assist her. Her new cured mind/personality is partially made into the implants themselves. Which allows a human mind to become a pony one, I guess?
To the present day, alicorn brain Twilight is incompatible with her implants, and thus part of her mind. So in order to save the body, those implants are being removed and either are in the process of being retooled to work in an alicorn brain, or are being replaced with entirely new implants. However, enough of Twilight’s consciousness is in those implants that they form a second twilight.
Because of the AIs’ laws, they see implant-twilight as human. So they are obligated to save her. So they are now putting implant-Twilight into a human body, presumably. (Or at least a human brain) This would possibly leave pony-Twilight as a separate individual now, possibly with missing memories or holes in her personality.
Is this the gist of what’s going on?