A good story displays a moral, the best ones attach you to the characters who display them.
Big Macintosh has always been a quiet one, but no one knows the full reason why. But when he finally starts opening up to his friends, something horrible happens.
She's in danger, and he needs to protect her, but can he get there in time?
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Sequel. Now. Please. I need Mac to find her!
8105482
In time, my friend, in time...
More?
Well, that's a problem....
And good job on the suspense.
8105495
See comment below.
8105501
Thank you.
If I may ask, is this based on Annie96 is Typing?! Because if it is, INSTANT FAVE!
8105640
I don't remember what the name of it was, but I think that might be it.
I have to say it was getting a little bit distracting that you used so many colons. 34, in fact, and while I'm actually not 100% clear on the rules for them since I almost never use them, I'm pretty sure you could replace most of them.
Here, for example:
If you replaced the colon with a comma and took out the comma after "watch," you would have: "Hell, the last time he saw her this nervous was when she was dared to hug Principal Celestia for five bucks, which was quite the interesting display to watch as he was in the office at the time." To me, that looks like a perfectly fine sentence that doesn't necessarily need a colon.
There were a few that I'm pretty sure you used correctly, but you definitely made me start scrutinizing the punctuation once I realized there were so many colons. I'm actually somewhat glad because it made me try thinking about stuff I usually don't think about, but that's probably not the effect you want your punctuation to have.
Also, there were these two passages:
It seems to me that you referenced the same event twice. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but if it was, the fact that you used very similar language the second time made it seem jarring.
There was also this:
Which wasn't in blue text like the rest of the text replies.
On the topic of the texts, I did really like how the psycho spectre-monster-thingy was considerate enough to use proper grammar. Nice and subtle
Like I said, the colons made it hard for me to really get into the story, so I can't honestly say it left much of an impact on me. I think it was quite difficult to properly convey the tension since Big Mac was not directly witnessing the action, but with that in mind I think you did a pretty good job. I thought it was pretty obvious that bad stuff was going down once Rainbow Dash saw a person outside, but there was at least a sliver of hope up until the end, which I really liked. I think it would be better if you streamlined the punctuation, but that's my biggest complaint.
8106476
Thank you for pointing that out, I use the colon way too much.
And... wow, I think I forgot that I had already but that in there, or I thought I deleted the first time I mentioned it.
I'll fix those ASAP.
Anyways, thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked it.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'll be watching closely for a sequel. This is very well written. Are you sure you're not a professional horror author?
8106768
Thank you.
And no, I am not.
Short, sweet and thrilling. I really enjoyed reading this. The pace worked really well and the tension built perfectly. A definite favourite.
8107333
Thank you!
Uh-huh. "Inspired". Almost all of the conversation was directly plagiarised from "Annie96 is Typing". Right down to the sequence of events, the ending of the conversation, and even the exact words in a few places. It's fine to get inspiration from something. It isn't fine to steal it. Disliked for plagiarism.
8108189
Not going to redo the whole thing, of course, but would you mind pointing out which lines were direct copies? 
Really? Damn, looks like some rewrites are in order.
Thanks for pointing that out.
8108495
PLEASE LET THERE BE A SEQUEL?
8113565
In time, if all goes according to plan.
I still have a lot to catch up with.
Jeez, the whole third act sent so many chills down my spine. At least there is hope in the end.
8159804
Just wait until I can start on the sequel: the chills found here will seem like ~fluffy little clouds~ in comparison.
applepills reference
if that was a rookie try then you're a natural because i was on the edge of my seat so awesome 
8163104
I was wondering when someone would spot that.
And thanks!
8163687 thanks. i love the elements of insanity
8248218
What's 555?
8248264
555 is the number they use in place of the middle of a phone number in movies/games/shows so they don't accidentally use someone's real number.
8249010
That certainly would explain all those calls I keep getting...
In all seriousness, the number stands for something. Like PIXAR and A113.
OH MY GOD IT'S SO MUCH LIKE ANNIE96 IS TYPING!