I'm the guy who made a deal with the devil. Now I know what your thinking, does kid ever watch movies, does this ever work out fine? Well, let's just say good judgement wasn't exactly my forte. I was possessed by an ancient demon, in the presence of evil, I change into a monster, and I pray on the wicked, and I suck out their souls. And you don't want to be around when that happens, see there's good and bad in all of us, and maybe you're not a murderer, but you did something that you didn't want the Rider to see, a white lie, and illegal download, what about you? And you? I've tried to fight it, to hold it back, but the darkness inside me only get's stronger. That's why I had to run, halfway across the world, and I'm still running. My name is Blizzard wind, and I'm the Ghost Rider.
The description is very off-putting. There are proper nouns that need capitalisation, capitals where there shouldn't be and too many commas.
I agree with 7882324. It should look more like:
7882428 Agreed
OK, so you definitely need somebody to help you learn how to write. You don't seem to have any functional grasp of how punctuation, capitalization, or a number of other things are supposed to work. That would be the first thing you need to work on before you try to commit to a project like this: getting the basics down.
Get a prereader and an editor to help you, to work with you and teach you how this writing thing works.
The description is poor mate, it needs a lot of work. If you don't get the description of a story done well enough, then nobody will care to read it.
7882761
7882324
7882428
7882625
Thanks for the honesty, I can try to find an editor, but seriously thanks
7882625 no any good editors
This really looks like something great but the grammar is something you have to work on.
Maybe get a editor or something, i like the first chapter tho so that's a plus
7882876 I'm currently looking for one now, and thanks for the feed back
I love ghost rider dude I like and favorite this story
7882889
7882873 *know
There are at least half a dozen groups on FiMF that exist solely to help new writers. I suggest you ask around in a few of those.
7882967 ALready found one, also, updated the description, better?
This gunna be good.
7882981 POP QUIZ
Who was just mentioned?
7882802 Mate, just write with your heart, study some grammar, and practice until it starts to shine. I know it worked for me.
7882990 Hmm? Iron Man
The description is way better well done!
iron man?
7885928 Featured where? 'Cuz it sure ain't featured on FiMF. I mean, it's nice if you wanna pretend and all.
Also, don't mass-reply to everyone who ever commented on your story. It makes you look noobish.
7886019 It gone now, it was just one there! But I see what you mean?
And watch your words next time
7882802 Alright, so basics down first. The story is greatly positioned, and so far it looks good. However, I want you to increase the size of your chapters, Ender. You'really just giving me half the burger and the reader is always hungry for more. In the pm I didn'the really get what the description says, but I'Lloyd rewrite it for you. Now, I am NOT an editor because I have no time,, due mostly to school, but on nights like these I can try. I also want to know whether or not you want to collaborate with me on this one or not.
Hope to see you soon buddy.(P.St. I'll edit on chapters 1-2 my best.
that is... awesome!
7894120 What do you like about it so far?
7894245 all of it
7894120 I hope you enjoyed it!
7894578 i all ready did it
7894614 That is great to hear. Ender is my friend, and I care about how his story are doing, and this one is getting very good reviews. You probably can tell how the first chapter is different to the second, and that's because I edit this, so this is part of my work.
I am in close proximity to the writer, so I as the editor will try my best to polish and have chapters ready for you to read.
7894619 I WAS BORN READY!
Summary of story:
"Your sins will find you out..."
7899042 Here what I ahve for chapter 4( Heads up Blizzard is NOT from equestria)
http://www.fimfiction.net/chapter/1048986
If I didn't anything wrong, let me know or you can change it
what was amazing
*Commence Fight Scene*
need any help writing, editing, ideas, etc.
i'll help.
i want to see this tiny ember grow into a raging inferno, not be snuffed out.
7904133 PLEASE HELP
wow!
7904133 If you wnat to make this chapter better in anyway, go ahead
this chapter is already done, i meant future chapters.
7904421
7904441 okay
awesome!
The ghost rider...
7928873 ya like?
Aww man what a good game!!
*Looks at chapter*
SHIT
Ehhh, hold on...
*Starts typing*
7931134
*Waits*
7933258 KO awesome story, hope to see more awesomeness like the Ghost Rider kicking more demonic butts and maybe some sex scenes along the way. It's gonna be epic!
Oh yeah! Ghost Rider!
Is Midnight your OC, or is he some Marvel character?
Can't wait for the next chapter!