• Member Since 5th Nov, 2011
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Leoshi


July 2017: Moving back to Texas, taking a short hiatus until I find a place to stay.


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The girls have run out of interesting stories to tell. Each one is either an adventure they've all heard or one they helped to make. In an effort to avoid a boring afternoon, Applejack and Rarity decide to tell a few tales of life in Ponyville before they all became a group of friends. After all, the two of them were born and raised in this town, so who better to tell stories?

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Featured: no.9 (4/19/17)

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 16 )

ya getting my hopes up m8

The whole "peachy" thing made me laugh.

You know I like this prompt for the sole reason that personality wise Applejack and Rarity are on far ends of the spectrum and we will likely get two sides of the story

Yep like and fave, good start. I wonder where applebloom was in all of this

8103735 I considered for a long time whether or not I should have brought her in. I was about five minutes away from pulling a fast one and having the visiting ponies be the parents coming back with newborn Apple Bloom between them, forming a nice surprise and a good lesson about patience...

Obviously I decided not to do that. As cool as it seemed, it didn't quite fit with the rest of the story. Besides, Angryjack is just plain fun.

Before I even read this I just want to say how much I love the promot itself. I feel that too few people appreciate, or even notice, that of the main cast only AJ and Rarity were born and raised in Ponyville. These two have known each other for probably almost two decades (even though they were most likely acquaintances at best prior to the show). There just isn't enough focus on this aspect of their relationship and I wish there was.

this was momentary featured. i hope that makes you feel good

Ha I knew there would be some gentle ribbing. Let it be said that Applejack started it.:ajsmug:

8105865 Yup! I saw it go up before I went to bed last night. It was featured for all of fifteen minutes, but still! That's a record for me, making a front-page feature on the second day!

these are really nice I like them a lot

ChappedPenguinLips
Story Approver

You know, you're a very underrated author, and that's a little upsetting to me, because you're also a very talented author. Take from someone who's been trying to get a story off the ground for days... this starting works, and it works in a small number of words; it says what it needs to say, and introduces the story for what it is without watering it down with needless details or anything of the like.

The writing itself is terrific, and your prose really shines!

My only real advice with the opening, and this isn't much, but I felt like just based off of the first paragraph with the simple telling of where everyone was, how they were positioned around the tables, etc. was all too forward, and immediately it struck me as one of those stories like "the ponies this. the ponies this like this and the weather was this. But that didn't matter because this."

Obviously, it's not that explain-y, and I think I kind of made it sound dumb -- it's not! but, I do think it comes off as a bit list-y. And to me, as a reader, that's not a great start to a fic: listing. You're a fantastic writer, so I'd encourage you to try something different when setting your scene instead of just laying it out.

Keep in mind, I'm really tired. There's nothing wrong with the way you started, just with what I read you're a strong writer. What you started with was a good intro, but it wasn't as strong as the rest of your writing. And if the intro was strong it would have been a lot more grabbing. Plus, having continued on reading I know you're capable of great introduction! I urge you to push yourself, in whatever way you think that might be. :twilightsmile:

Good work! :heart:

"Well ain't this peachy," she grumbled.

"Applejack!" her granny hissed. "Don't go 'round sayin' such vile things!"

She grimaced. In her family, the word 'peach' was something of a curse.

Shots fired.:derpytongue2:

8121842 :rainbowlaugh: This is 105% a coincidence! I swear it on the peaches that ate Twilight Sparkle!

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