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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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9047140
As I wrote that I was thinking to myself ‘Gods I’m being so Mud Briar right now.’
Alright I’ll be honest, Mud Briar is my fucking spirit animal.
Oh God that ending.
So Twilight...ISN'T pregnant?
...
Or did she get the colors mixed up like how her parents did? Damn it, I need to go back and look.
Keep up the good work my good man
Kinda? You’ve also gotta throw in exhausted, angry, and — if you’re really doing it properly — slightly inebriated.
YOU ARE THE BESSSST! Cant wait to read more
Poor Celestia she completely bungles her plan and now they are going to have a worse time about it.
I've always considered the Crystal Empire episodes to not only be one of Celestia's most boneheaded plans(second place behind her 'handling' of Tirek), but one of her most morally deficient ones too(second behind just dropping Starswirl's spell on Twi with no warnings about what it might do), especially in light of the Season 5 finale which showed us just HOW MUCH was at stake. Aside from no elements (which is at least an accident here), she didn't give Twilight even half of the info she would need to actually succeed (because you're not going to convince me Celestia somehow DIDN'T know about the Crystal Heart), and only a bit of dumb luck allowed Twi to find out about the Heart in time. Add to that, her instructions to Twi would have been counter-productive had she followed them to the letter. Had Twilight followed Celestia's instructions ("In the end, it must be you, and you alone"), she would have left Spike with the others, and Sombra would have won. Finally, phrasing the whole thing as a test...a 'test' that had the lives and freedom of an entire city-state, and dire consequences for Equestria itself if Twi failed, just seems really callous on her part.
9047381 In canon universe, I absolutely agree.
But from a meta point of view, yeah, it didn't get very thought-out in the episode writing phase.
Celestia is quoted as saying: "Even my knowledge of the empire is limited."
And I think she was being honest. There is no reason for her to lie about that. The Crystal Heart merely existing is what keeps out the storm (ala The Crystalling) but more is needed to keep out Sombra. Anyway, I do have a fleshed-out sensible backstory regarding that entire time-period, when Celestia and Luna rose to power and overthrew Sombra. All will be revealed in time.
9047381
I think we have to acknowledge that canon Celestia is a bit shit.
9047381
The only way to make sense of the second episode of the entire series is to accept that when she is prepared, when she knows of a problem well in advance, she can execute plans that look utterly insane but reliably work (NMM, Crystal Empire, freeing and befriending Discord, giving Twilight Starswirl's spell). Things go wrong for her when she doesn't know about the problem in advance (Discord breaking free, Changelings twice, Tirek, chaos vines). I suspect that she has a narrow, limited foresight ability, possibly through Earth powers or an artifact. And that she leans on it a bit too heavily.
.....Did you by chance get this from a comedian with the first name Jackie? And he goes by "The Joke Man"?
No. She wants you to help protect an entire city, which is misnomered as an empire.
I will keep to this stance even after I die! They even say "evacuating the city" in The Crystaling! Or something like that. But they say city!
Celestia: Those two are our last hope.
Anyone: Aren't you sending Twilight and her friends with the elements?
Celestia: Right! That's right!
Man. Twilight's next attempt is going to end up in disaster... Or Cadance being a totally understanding Love goddess. I don't get how Cadance hasn't felt Shining's love for twilight, nor Twilight's for Shiny. Because she was more than able to feel Light's for Velvet, and the love he had for her. So really, why can't cadance feel Shiny and Twi's love when they're so in love?
Is their love so superficial and faint that Cadance can't even register it?
That one's spelled with a k.
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/870/345/a47.jpg
9048777
The obvious retort is to not have Cadance's ability differentiate between storge and eros.
Now, if there's anything Shakespearicles loves more than threesomes with Shiny and Cadance, trolling readers, or even oxygen itself it's guilt tripping Shiny over fucking Twilight in secret. Still, I honestly don't expect those two to hook up again so soon, and certainly not for Cadance to get involved. Far more likely are shenanigans from the evil shapeshifter with a penchant for mind control magic to inflict some more abuse on Shiny. Or a dream scene in the hypnosis door, neither one would have an impact on the plot (if you know what I mean). If Shakespearicles doesn't cash either of those narrative blank checks, I will be floored.
“Well shit”... that was too perfect.
Also looks like my theory about Sombra being in the family tree is getting more and more plausible
9048873
WTF? I feel so attacked...
> looks back at entire library of writing
thumbs.gfycat.com/GroundedRedKid-max-1mb.gif
False negatives are a thing.
9049036
Don't play with my feelings like this
9048335
The only one of that first bunch I give her an out for is NMM, since the way she did things there is probably the ONLY way it would have worked. Had she been totally honest with Twilight about that one, telling her that she needed to make five friends so they could use the magical superweapon, Twilight would have tried to force 'friendships' with everyone and thus probably would have failed.
As for the rest, already gave my rant about the Crystal Empire, and already mentioned my main problem with the Starswirl's spell thing (Warning: Casting may cause soul scrambling). And freeing Discord was such a risk even Twilight, She-who-worships-the-ground-the-Sun-walks-on, had no faith that it would actually work. I half-imagine Celestia had to hog tie and gag Luna in her room in order to keep her from stopping her from going through with it.
9049454
But once you've postulated the ability for Ep1, then her not having it later would need explanation.
9049602
I never said I believed that Celestia had any actual precog ability, I just said that it was the only way she could have done things, and that could be figured out just by knowing Twilight's personality. The closest thing to Celestia being shown to have precog abilities was her dream during the Tirek thing. And that's not PRE-cog, that's present-cog, since Tirek had already been loose for a year or more by the time she had her 'vision.'
9049673
Ah, I misread you. But that puts you in the bizarre situation of thinking that Celestia's plan for Ep1 was neither precognitive nor lunacy.
9049454
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/234/008/031.jpg
Dear Twilight,
I need you to go round up five ponies in Ponyville, and give them the assigned Elements of Harmony, (see enclosed package with list). Nightmare Moon will return the eve of the Summer Sun celebration. Use the Elements on her. (She's low-key my sister, Luna, so set that shit to STUN, m'kay? ) I'd handle this myself but I
don't want tohave faith that you can handle this.- Princess Celestia
P.S. While you're saving the world, also make sure the Ponyville Summer Sun Celebration is awesome.
Reader: Shakespearicles stop we'll fall off this cliff!
Shakespearicles: you say that like it's important, cliffs are overrated!
9049866
It was also one she'd had 1000 years of time AND a specific date it was going to go down to work with...and she STILL had at least one false start at it if we believe Sunset was ever in the running for Element of Magic.
9049965
In which case Twilight is the one doing the hog-tying with the rest of the soon to be Mane 6. We've seen before that trying to force it doesn't make the Elements work, and in fact can cause bad things to happen (again, see exhibit Sunset).
9050053
zippy.gfycat.com/WindyPlaintiveKomododragon.gif
9048777
I suspect that Cadance is fooling herself into believing it's just sibling love because the alternative would be too painful.
9048710
The roman empire was an empire.
Centered n a single city.
That frequently fought with neighboring cities. Which were technically part of its empire. There was the city... and then everything else. Think mineral rights, hunting rights, rights of passage, taxation, roads, military might, etc. Still an empire. Even if you only lord it over yak-yakistan and the sparse tribes inhabiting the snowfields of Equis Extrima.
9051388
So that single city was more like the main part of it. But the other cities were also part of it, kind of. Sounds like even then it's more of an empire than the Crystal one.
I haven't heard of yak yakistan and the tribes being seen as part of or even an extension of the empire.
Really, I think "Empire" was just a formal, preemptive name that stuck. Sombra had plans to make his kingdom larger by taking over Equestria and arrogantly named it an empire before it ever was one.
9051518
^ Pretty much this. In The Cutie Re-Mark, we see "the Crystal Empire is much larger" in the Starlight-alternate-universe where Sombra succeeded. Hell, it even could have been much larger a thousand years ago before a war with Equestria forced it back to a single city (to play on the Rome parallel.) Ultimately leading to Celestia and Luna overthrowing the King in a final coup.
9051253
If thats the case, then she is in for a rough awakening when they tell her that she fucked her dad and its currently fucking her brother herself.
9052113
Why, yes. Yes she is.
9052113
9053347
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/157/575/180.gif
The ending of the chapter was priceless.
Good shit. Feels good to read this again.
-------
its
Just write this in a way that's not weird
"Its attention shifted from the departing locomotive to the stranded officer." Or something
Case in point
Delete "a"
Or maybe just add "experiment" to the end. Who knows.
Been awhile. Hope we get an update soon
9124243 Not forgotten.
Just been a little preoccupied with my Starlight project.
(And another secret Colab)
I look forward to resuming this in September.
9124416
(grumbles about Starlight under breath) Ok, understood
found this a little while ago and just got all caught up........so fucked up and yet so funny LOLOLOL though i seem to notice that you must not like Dash at all.....
9146404
How do you figure?
9146649
LOL it just seems every time youve mentioned her, it that shes broke this or f'ed up that or that shes just there because she there. idk maybe its just me lol
9147084
Well she also does that a lot in episodes that don't feature her specifically. (And even some of the ones that do.) Not that I don't like her. I do. I'm just playing her canonically.
9147272
fair point. lol it been so long since i watched S1! my how the times have a changed!
... Well, shit.
Harsh language
This is pretty much how I imagine singing in the show was handled by most ponies watching it happen
I figured it would be red. No indication she was in heat. Hope she's not infertile.
Luna: "Eeeeyyy!!!"
Celestia is priceless... Guess Chrysalis hit Tia's horn harder than anyone expected