OH DAMN. SHIT ESCALATED REAL FAST!

While it's a semi-interesting premise, I somehow doubt you can properly convey this idea in under 10,000 words. I'll have to read and find out, but I have some serious doubts here...

8284311
Well I hope you enjoy it.

Yay!

Hail to the king.

8284574
And Princess.

8284311
I tried to shoot for at least 10,000 words but still got close. Also there will be a sequel.

All hail the Crystal Empire ,but if Discord's making an entrance into this the Crystal Empire might not last long

So close to 200 up votes.

8284628
8284574

Actually, isn't that "Hail to the Queen!!"

While Sombra go's:
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0d/6c/92/0d6c9237c5aa2daf5fb0980698ddee05--firefly-wash-betrayal.jpg

We did it! 200 up votes, break out the Party Cannon!
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/9/98/Pinkie_Pie_firing_the_party_cannon_S02E09.png/revision/latest?cb=20120719071839

What is the Sombraverse?

8287084
It's what the alt universe in the season 5 finale were King Sombra tries to conquer Equestria was called.

Rest in pepperoni Tia!

Good chappy!

Uuuugh I want more.

8295666
Sadly I don't when I'll get started on the sequel as I have some other story ideas I want to pursue.

Well I was actually excited for this story however it has some serious pacing issues. I saw something in the comments about Discord possibly getting involved, and I must say that gives me some hope. However as it stands now the story is a little unreadable for me due to that fact that it also has such wasted potential. This story just can't be conveyed properly with only 10k words, which is why it has those pacing issues in the first place.

8390254
I am working on a sequel that will continue the story where the first left off. So its not an end as it is a to be continued.

8391181
As far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter. The pacing issue and it's length won't be fixed with a sequel. The real problem is the absolute amount of content you already have in this 10k word span. That also ties in with the pacing, since you have only 10k words you seem so rushed through the entire story. You could have given us some more story as to how twilights life was different now that she is being raised by Sombra, or even how Sombra went about taking care of twilight. Sombra could have had trouble taking care of a filly since he isn't the fatherly type, and must learn to adapt. You could also go the opposite route and have Sombra find out that he not only enjoys being a father figure, but is also rather good at it, becoming a type of mentor that Celestia was before him. Instead of all that you have your readers basically jumping through time ourselves, just skipping years of potential story not once but multiple times. I also find a lack of conviction or real drive from the characters. A prime example is Shining Armor. You have Celestia and even Sombra basically saying that who he is and his loyalty to the ones he loves will make him tough to crack, and yet all it took was apparently a real good roll in the metaphorical hay to get him to betray his entire country. I could have accepted that since you hinted a mind break in the summary I believe, but even that's wasted since we don't even get to see Shining even have a mental battle with himself. Should I keep resisting for the people I care about, and the princess I swore to protect; or should I give in to the temptation of pleasure and power which seems so much more convincing since I'm getting my whistle wet at the moment. In the end I still love the premise of the story, and I hope you keep at it, but there are some issues in this story I feel you must consider are not right, and hopefully could be made better. There is nothing I like to see more than a writer learn from there mistakes and come back better than ever. That way they can make stories that we love, but more importantly stories they can love also. Please keep at it and don't lose this passion for not only writing, but taking the time to listen to your fans. I lastly want you to understand I'm not trying to be hurtful, and if you come out of this comment with anything please let it be that.

8392164
I appreciate your feedback and you make some good points. To be honest I never expected this story to be this well received. I thought for my first story it would get a max of 50 up votes and when it got over 90 off the first chapter in three days I was blown away. I do have a problem with pacing at times, I probably could have expanded on some areas like Twilight's upbringing whether it was its own chapters or maybe even flashbacks in others. I wanted to make it longer but couldn't come up with enough material at the time. Perhaps the initial success got to me and it through me off a little. Maybe before I go forward I should try to revise the story and make it longer. I defiantly want this to be the best it can be and even be able to set it up for multiple sequels. So I have a question, I like some of the plot suggestions you responded with and would like to know it you would be interested in collaborating with me on making the story better?

8392295
I'll PM you about some of my concerns with that and we can go from there.

8393059
Sounds good.

Hmm, I wonder what will happen to Cadence. I mean she did surrender to Sombra, and he could see the potential in having two alicorns on his side. So I have a feeling Sombra will have mercy on her.
And what of her relationship with Shining, he's been having sex with Twilight, so what will Shining be like to her now? Perhaps, after a while, Shining decides he wants both Cadence and Twilight as his wives, starting his own herd.

8429893
Technically Shining and Cadence were not together in this. They met because Cadence was Twilight's foal sitter. They wouldn't have met until he was in the guard and probably wouldn't have had any interaction until he was an officer.

9208939
Yes but not sure how long it will take as I am going to revise and expand on this story first.

~.~

And that's the only form of penetration Celestia will be getting from sombra.

Man I would love to see a sequel to this finally