- Member Since 26th Jul, 2015
- offline last seen Yesterday
Maltrazz
Maltrazz the Plotsmith. Writer, reader, gamer, and connoisseur of Villains. "A Hero, pony or otherwise, is nothing without an excellent Villain."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Maltrazz · 1.8k words · 30 1 · 537 views
- Maltrazz · 2.2k words · 47 2 · 905 views
- Maltrazz · 3.4k words · 39 1 · 2k views
- Maltrazz · 2.2k words · 143 4 · 3.5k views
- King Sombra Returns · 6.1k words · 10 2 · 732 views
- TheWritingShipper · 1.9k words · 103 13 · 10k views
- MrDestiny80 · 26k words · 85 21 · 5.8k views
- Fire Feather · 1.1k words · 16 1 · 1.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.107 seconds
Total duration
923 users online
494,825 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I haven't read it yet, but the description alone makes it look like a good read. This is definitely going into my read later list.
7854514 Thanks, looking forward to seeing your opinion once you have read it.
7854514
Likewise... though as a long-ago rule forged between me and fimfiction, 25,000 words or more, or marked as complete... whichever comes first... before I actually start reading it
Having said that, the premise of this one looks very interesting, I hope one of those two criteria are met soon.
7854803 You WILL be waiting a very long time, then, as this is not my main story, and I think it took me about half a year to get that far on that one.
Well done!
7854811
Thats alright, it will fit right in with my 380 other fanfictions in a similar state... heh... having said that your main one with ~60k words right now looks interesting too, would not have seen it otherwise.
Cheers
Neat, a story where he actually released the umbrum.
I would really like to know what happened to Celestia and Luna after their defeat.
Just finished it, and this was a REALLY good first chapter, I wouldn't be surprised if this became featured.
7855172 Spoiler warning; Sombra likes life-sized crystal garden statues.
7855393 Glad you liked it! Thanks!
any romance? that's what it sounds like in the description.... but i don't see a tag... but i kinda wanna read it regardless... later though, i'm in the middle of another book..fic thing... '.'
Huh, King Sombra seems actually well-balanced.
This looks promising.
Can't wait to see what happens next.
7856204 I'm honestly still deciding on that point, as most of my other works are already Twibra stories. Even if I do decide to make this the same, it won't be particularly 'romantic', as Sombra sees Twilight as more of an interesting pet than an equal.
7856487 I wouldn't say 'well-balanced', necessarily, just less aggressive.
7858174
mmmkay.... when you say pet... do you mean like sex pet? or pet pet...
*geez dragun, what a question...*
7858252 Just pet-pet, at least at the moment. The rating is more for violence, as the rebellion comes into play in future chapters.
i'm reading this and i love the start already! looking forward to the rest!
7864169 Glad you like it!
Why am I not Allowed to favorite this more than once!? This story is amazing as Your work always is. I am anxiously waiting for more, I can't wait! I wish I could Favorite this again and again! Thank you for making such fantastic Story!
~King Sombra Returns
Honestly I think the summary is a bit bloated and spoilery. Just going over the very basic set-up that Sombra won, Umbrum rule Equestria and Twilight end up working for Sombra would have worked better since it leaves more to the imagination of the reader and gives more intrigue in terms of what could happen. Less is more in this case.
Anyway onto the actual chapter. I'm not sure I get the point of Twilight dreaming about being an alicorn especially when she doesn't even know what one is at this point. I mean are you foreshadowing that she's still going to become one at some point, I don't get it.
I'd also have preferred you switch to Sombra's perspective when the ring was taken off and shown the effects of her magic and the badassery Sombra no doubt performed to keep it contained, else there would have been much more than a smashed bookshelf. Simply telling us about it afterward took away from what could have been a really cool scene.
I'd also ask how, in the name of Tartarus, Twilight didn't recognize the ruler of the Crystal Empire immediately and didn't know about him taking taking talented ponies to the capital? Especially when he's, apparently already taken her brother. I'd also say Twilight losing all focus to the book is pushing it since she was aware her entire family could be punished if she messed up or was too slow.
This is a good start, I'm interested to see where you go with it though I'll understand and encourage you to finish Somber Tale before putting all your weight behind one of your other stories. My personal preference would be Five Shades of Twilight or Awakening as the next main story but it's up to you.
7886523 I'll probably revise and condense the summary when I decide to focus on this more, but A Somber Tale will remain my priority until it is finished.
It's both to highlight the difference between this AU and canon, and as a reference to the pic that initially inspired this idea.
http://havikm66.deviantart.com/art/Everything-is-Fine-358938500
I considered that, but I want to do this story entirely from Twilight's perspective, to better show the (relatively) uneducated slave learning more about the world.
Which is exactly why she did NOT recognize Sombra. Having no formal education and having never left Canterlot, Twilight knew Sombra's name but had never seen his face. By the same token, her thirst for the knowledge that was denied her lead to her getting careless.
I definitely plan to keep A Somber Tale my main story until it is done, but I have yet to decide what will be next. Probably this or Five Shades of Twilight, but we'll see.
And just like your other stories, this is another amazing start! I really can't wait to read more and what you have in store for this
Will you work on this story after A Somber Tale?
9357406
Probably.
Update?
Well this is a interesting universe
The big question is, why is Twilight being taken by Sombra. The only thing I see is that Twilight will learn Dark magic.
And I like the beginning that is from a fan comic
10210371
Thank you! I am so glad to have someone finally notice and understand that reference at the beginning!
I can't wait for the next chapter!
I'd really like to know what happens next)))))