CANNOT LOAD... RESTARTING...
"CoMe On, WoRk, DaMn YoU!"
[REDACTED]
"... FuCk It. I'lL tRy AgAiN tOmOrRoW..."
"HmM? aH, hElLo! My NaMe Is W.d. GaStEr, Ex-RoYaL sCiEnTiSt, At YoUr SuRvIcE."
"HmM? yOu WaNt To KnOw HoW i GoT hErE? wElL, tHaT's A fUnNy StOrY..."
((And before anyone asks, no, this is not just an Equestria Girls story. If I do have a story and it has the tag of "Equestria Girls" on it, then it will be crossing over/merging with the normal Equestria... besides, the likelihood of me doing a story that's JUST focused on Equestria Girls is in the same likelihood of there being a Friendship is Manly 3... or 4. Or 5... Solaris Damn it, I jinxed myself.))
Chapters (5)
LaMe... LaMeR... yEt LaMeR...
No.
7596566
Oh look, another Dumbass that's going to try and make me sad and angry, but won't succeed... EVER.
7596608 Not trying to make anyone sad or angry, and if your opinion of me based on one comment is that I'm a dumbass, that's your prerogative. I'm just pointing out that altcasing your title and entire description is kinda lame, and your actual story isn't very interesting. I can tell from the comments threads on your other stories that you don't appreciate negative comments, but they're a fact of life you have to accept when you post poor-quality work such as this.
As for actual story criticism: if I have any one thing to say, it's that you need to fix the altcasing thing in your title and summary. If your title wasn't altcased like this, I honestly never would have clicked on the story at all. It certainly attracts attention. The problem is, it attracts the wrong kind of attention.
I hope that helps a little.
7596664
I'll second this. Author, pay attention to what Moth says here, because it is spot-on.
Your talking to a guy that has about 59 dislikes on his first story, and it's a Displaced one... that, and I am sorry about calling you a Dumbass...
You've probably heard of Hamster Master, or as I like to call him, Hamster McFucker, and his little... entourage... so...
7596664
The alt casing was actually intentional, big guy. It's Gaster saying the title and the long description of it. The alt casing makes it... glitchy and distorted, which is what Gaster is: a glitchy, distorted creature of a skeleton monster.
7596664
And if it's poor quality work, then what do you call my previous Fics?
Poor quality?
Tell that to those that like them.
7596673
It's important to keep in mind that something being intentional is not the same as something being good. I think you're too attached to your own idea that you can't look at it entirely objectively.
7596690
Look, I understand, but it does not matter how I do it.
As long as my readers are happy, I'm happy, and its fine.
7596696
I think that's an irresponsible attitude. You can always do better, and thus you can always make your readers happier. Far more admirable in my eyes is the person who constantly strives to do better and grasps at every opportunity they can find to do so.
7596874
And yet I am not that.
I am not the best, and I know this for a fact. There are other writers that are WAAYYY better than I am. Like Pyraflare Bullet, Joker the Hedgehog, ShadowsInTheDark, DarkMagicEn-Forcer1, etc...
They can come up with stuff that has better plots, better characters, better... everything, really.
But, I am not that great. I come up with stuff that is good, but not great. For example, my Lewis Pepper Displaced in The Ponies, The Heart, and The Guardian Poltergeist is one of the best Displaced I've made. People enjoy the story and the characters, but I don't know if I can do better because I am proud to be this way.
7596903
Edit: Actually, you know what? If you don't want to improve, that's your business. I think it's sad, but in the end it isn't my choice.
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7596664
Sir. Believe me when I say that Mesa and Myril are sharing some very admirable advice with you.
A true author does whatever it takes to get better. A true author will take all kinds of criticism, the good and the bad. A true author will not simply compare themselves to other authors, but try and learn from them. And a true author will put their heart and soul story, not making it for just the reader's entertainment, but there own as well.
You, good man, definetly have potential. Every single one of us do. But what matters is how you use that potential.
If you simply say that “I know others will always be better than me”, and don't give a crap about fixing your story, then you are truly not worthy of even a single reader. Because a real author doesn't care about quantity, or number of viewers, but making the time used by the readers who actually read their work worth it.
So. I have to ask. Are you going to spend the rest of your fanfiction days writing shit and expecting nothing? Or working your ass off to become a something? Because I think you know the better option.
7596974
Actually, it's both.
I will spend the rest of my fanfiction days writing shit and expecting nothing, but I will also be working my ass off to become a something.
I expect little of myself... and I'm proud of it. I know that I can become better, but I will become better with every step I take... it's just not right now.
I cannot make myself better, but I can try. The more I try, the better, but right now, I am happy as of right now.
I don't know if this is worth pointing out but shouldn't this be rated M? It already has a ton of language that would shoot that up there. Maybe that's just me. As for the story, it's... strange but in a good way.
7597438
Heh, thanks.
Although, this is connected to Pyraflare's Universe in a couple ways, so it's supposed to be strange...
7596974
Thats a really inspiring speech. Ill take that to heart.
7597476 Ah. Makes sense(to a degree). I wonder what you will do next
7597483
You should probably start worrying, then...
Things can get out of hand.
7597503 Believe it or not, I don't mind. That's what makes it fun
7596903 Curious as to why you chose those four, because while they're decent, there are far better authors on this site.
Doesn't mean I don't enjoy their works though. I had a hand in making Pheonix Equestria that I'm fairly proud of.
7597576
Good for you.
And the reason why is because they're all Displaced writers... and I consider them family... that, and I forgot about my role model and the author that got me into writing in the first place... SaiyanUltima.
7597592 Fair enough, I can respect that.
Just remember that just because they're your family, doesn't mean that they're free from faults. I think you know who I mean.
7597616
Not exactly...
7597626 Joker could do a bit better with his handling of negative comments. All I'll say.
7597668
I approve of his way, actually. It's affective.
7597672 Deleting comments and stories at the first hint of harsh criticism? You approve of that?
7597679
Yeah.
7597686
...
I don't agree with you in the slightest, but ok. You wanna belive that, go right ahead.
FriskXSans for the win.
7599740 Agreed good sir.
7599757
Thank you, my good sir.
7602202
YES!
It is the best song I've ever heard in a movie! Well, besides Mulan's Make A Man Out Of You song, but still.
7602274 i agree
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7597509
Alright, my friends, start takin' bets on who Sunset Shimmer is going to be shipped with in this fic!
And take bets on who Sentinel will be shipped with!
((The highest bet on who Sentinel will be shipped with will be the winner and will get to help me out on my fics.))
hmm maybe gaster or sci-twi ten bits on this
7602592
Sci Twi? You mean the Twilight that already existed before Equestrian Twilight came along?
7602622 te one in te human universe yes
7602665
Well, it's not Sci Twi...
Keep betting.
7602682 is it gaster though?
7602885
I won't say...~
7602905 hmm
Hey look it's crotch shot sentinel, haven't forgot about that
7602297 sunsetXsentinel
So much potential, so much
So, who likes it?
Erm, adding some regular human turned flutterpriest seems a little out of place, if not very.
7638487
No, this isn't a regular human. This is Flutterpriest! I asked the man himself for permission to be in this chapter, so be glad I did. Otherwise, this story wouldn't have a new chapter.
7638549 Interesting, well this will certainly be interesting.