Frocto
Joined 23rd Aug, 2014 ·
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Frocto is a hot dog to write with. :3
i hope this will b longer then the firts
Continues to be the greatest title for a lewdfic in fimficcer history.
INSTA-FAVED!!!!!!
Yeeeees
Plans don't go exactly the way they were supposed to? Welcome to the real world, Twilight & co.
Either way, good start! Can't wait for more.
I ask for moar.
I suspect lots of cuddling and coddling little Luna from his mega-harem to make him feel better.
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yumyum more pls
Good smut is good.
Although I have to wonder when Celestia's wings came out, since first you said "And it wasn’t even backless, the Goddess’s wings had been momentarily magicked away.", but then once sat down, suddenly "Magnificent feathered wings danced in his vision, the air laced with cinnamon tones.", and I can't find any mention when they appeared before that.
I know, all this over one tiny thing in just a silly
and hot as fuckclopfic, but it won't stop bugging me.Attempt two: Drink the darned potion himself! But does Luna have the self esteem to beef himself up enough for it to matter?
Not if Celestia's dabbling in the humiliation fetish has anything to say about it!
Attempt three: Okay, forget Celestia for now. Focus on Trixie. If he can out-ego her, then Celestia is a step closer, right? Right.
Sounds simple enough.
Attempt four: A mirror. Just look into it, and picture improvements. Simplicity itself.
Wait, Twilight, what are you doing with that 'love at first sight' spell? Just research? Oh, carry on then.
7580362 Yeah, I think it could go like that as well. Practice on something else before you get to the main event.
Besides, who said practice doesn't have to be enjoyable?
Once again: I ask for moar
Now that I've had time to get around to this fic, it seems COMPLETELY counter-productive to what Celestia wanted for Luna in the first fic.
Here's the line from the first fic:
And apparently her solution to that was to humiliate him?
Does she WANT another EVIL Nightmare Moon?
As good of a writer as you are, Frocto, not even you are above contradiction, apparently.
Just... Try to remedy it.
1: MORE
2: Celestia needs to be taught a lesson, brought down a peg or at the very least, made to understand how Luna feels and how she is hurting him.
3: Seriously, more . . . right now.
Please continue the story
I'm sorry, but this story is ruined! I'm a bit glad it got cancelled!
It's mainly because I read those two myself in the past. And DIDN'T like on how our Male Luna is treated. This is literally counter-productive of what Celestia was trying to do the whole time!!!!
And the fact that I agree with these other commenters views on this major flaw in this story.
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Hopefully, you might remake this and make this way better!!!!! ( Including the first one as well. )