• Member Since 23rd Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Frocto


Specimen of Maximum Nerd.

Sequels1

Comments ( 54 )

5934555
So I'm an hour too late to make that joke.

This wasn't bad, but for some reason it didn't quite get me like you're other work. Hopefully the next chapters will, and I look forward to reading them

5934910

Maybe it needed more of that gettin' biz-zayyyyyyyyyyyyyy. It and chapter 2 are mostly just talking and sexy situations, nothing really hardcore until chapter 3~

Prince Luna Straight Drownin' In Mares

Straight Drownin in Mares :moustache: instant fav

The sex is well written but the rest of it is a little.....iffy. Like straight out of a cliche harem hentai iffy.

5935668

Can't speak for the quality of the sex scene, seeing as I bailed on the fic as soon as Twilight was introduced, but I agree - with the caveat that 'cliche harem hentai' appears to be exactly what the author is aiming for. I generally like herding stories, but I can see this one's not going anywhere I'll like, so I'll stick to commenting on the writing rather than the content.
This needs editing. Lots of editing. Lots of excess verbiage and unnecessary exposition for a very straightforward narrative. Lay off the third person omniscient perspective, too ... it makes the flow of your prose really chug. Pick a perspective character for the scene and stick with them, it's much less painful.

Nice work! My only complaint is that you seemed to get a bit... overly friendly... with the exclamation mark in a few sections.

Yessss Coco Pommel.

This was hot 'n heavy.

You can certainly expand on this.
It might be hard, but I can see you brain throbbing with ideas.
Just keep stroking your imagination and know we will all enjoy what comes out.

I don't intend to sound overbearing or "entitled", but I would much appreciate a rough estimate of the times between chapters, if you even know yourself. It's really good, and I want to read more as soon as I can.

5941359

I'm hoping to release about one chapter a month, since I'm also working on a lot of other stories alongside it. The next chapter of this will be released to Patreon subs later this month, and I'll be putting up the first chapter of a similar, Twilight-themed, story on Fimfiction in a few days.

i.imgur.com/vXFWnym.jpg

Just a small question. Why didn't you use the rule 63 name of Luna? Luna doesn't really sound like a name for a prince. It's not really a complaint but it confuses me while reading xD

5942228
Oh, sweet. thanks man. Keep up the good work!

Is this patreon only or will you be updating here as well?

5955514

Everything pony-related I write spends one month on Patreon and is then distributed for free!

Amm

Calm down the the exclamation marks. They're made pointless by the density of them.

Looks promising. Hope to see more soon :p

I feared my sanity. I looked at the picture, then the title. "Prince?" No, Have I been wrong all these years?!

All silliness aside, I look forward to reading this.

Ooh, how dare you tease me with so many big ta-tas. Please tell me some of them are going to get some.

Fantastic! Barely any spelling errors too. Can't wait for Ch3.

This... is pretty awesome. I should have guessed who he'd pick from the start, but the choice seemed too obvious for me. But in the end it proved true and everyone (at least Coco) rejoiced!
And there will be even more rejoicing.

So, reducing the females to sluts in order to make a strong ruler out of Luna. Huh... well, yeah. Definitely interesting. Who knows what did Celestia exactly promise them all :duck:

Anyway, this goes to faves. Really well written, can't wait for more :twilightsmile:

...this...doesn't feel like it properly fits the other chapters.

I'd explain further, but the best I can come up with is that it just doesn't feel right.

Was it meant as a joke?
'Cause I don't get it.

You can't end it like that! You still hadn't had Luna f*cked Zecora! You can't leave the sexy zebra out of this!

That was quite a bangfest. Our little prince must have quite the endurance for being able to please so many in one night without feeling sore.
Then again, not mortal so yeah.

Also, the younger ones (including CMC) didn't get a mention - have they had some fun, or did they get shoo'd off for only just entering adulthood?

Also also, fourteen mares? Was that really all of them, or just the first batch?
Because from the previous chapters it sounded like there were more. A lot more.

Either way, great chapter.
Wouldn't mind seeing more, but even the ending which you gave it is good :twilightsmile:

I wish that Princess Cadence was there to be fucked, but an awesome story anyway!!!1

5944043

I'm with RainLight, it's a bit confusing. He's usually Artemis, despite that being the name of a GodDESS in original Greek Mythology but hey, it works.

5934555

How you don't have more upvotes is beyond me. But you deserve every last one of them for that joke.

5940140

The double entendre is strong in you.

Prince Luna only had a few more moments to himself before he found himself flanked by a pair of guards-mares.

You double spaced between he and found.

6374311

Much appreciated! Fixed this!

6375821

No problem. Absurd as the premise may be, well, when people complain about how absurd a premise of a fic is, like say, this one, I point out that the premise of the show is far from realistic too. Considering it gave us memorable characters like Discord though, I'm not complaining.

6374251

I think Artemis is a reference to Sailor Moon.

puu.sh/jUJ8n/2fa95573e0.jpg

6376933

Uh, no actually. Never seen the show honestly. Just sayin' that that's usually Luna's male counterpart's name.

13 Ns in the title and 16 mares. Well, 15 'on screen' but Zecora makes 16, and 22 if you count the CMC, Babs, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon who vanished. Not bad.

Well, I finally started reading this. And I got to say, I was hooked since the very beginning. And from Celestia pleasing her little brother to Rarity's, Trixie's and Twilight's introduction to the harem life, it only got better. I look forward to more mares in the next chapters, especially Coco (as I implied in my comment in the last blog post).

As a lover of futa, I was originally rather disappointed that it's "just" R63 Luna (I might have read it earlier, if it had been futa). However, that changed as I read this and not only doesn't it bother me anymore, I kinda like it. It helps that there's a certain... theme of masculinity (that I already liked in Laden Milkmaids and also enjoy here) there, that wouldn't work with futa.

So it was this combination of factors that led Twilight to perceive the little royal was as cagey as a guinea pig who'd broken into the female enclosure.

Frocto, where are you getting your idea's from?
Guinea-pig-to-become-father-to-400-after-breaking-into-female-enclosure.

No sex this chapter

Still hot as fuck to read, especially with all the fantasies all these descriptions ignite.

This is some excellent smut, if I may say so. :twilightsmile:

I swear, Luna must have some sort of portal-spell in his balls to get that much semen... I mean, over 15 times? I already start to hurt if I even think about coming more than 3 times in that short a timespan, let alone 15.

5934555 That joke really lives or dies on its timing... and 9001, is the right time.

"It's... 1006.
"Really?"
"Yeah, kick his ass Nappa."

While some of it is interesting, it's also a little disappointing. Specifically, it sets up a concept but never actually reaches the execution of it. Repeatedly, it is stated that the point is to have Prince Luna be dominant and assertive. Twilight even says that she and the others want him to dominate and use them, even be rough and aggressive. Early in the second chapter, he even admits to himself that he could have been more assertive and decides to do so.

Except he never does.

Pretty much the entire time, he is either sitting or laying back, and simply allowing the mares to do whatever they please. Even though he is supposed to be dominant and commanding, he is pretty much submissive the entire time. Yes, he picks the first mare to breed and be with, but then he just lets her take control and ride him. He holds Fluttershy in place, but only because he reached his orgasm and she happened to be on him. It was not even his choice to be with her at that point. He picks Twilight Sparkle specifically to be with at one point, and the previous chapters indicate he has more of an interest in her than the others, but he allows her to be pulled off him by the other mares because she was not going fast enough for their liking. Nevermind what he wanted.

This was one of two major points where there was a potential moment for the prince to take a step in the direction, showing him moving toward the desired position and behavior. The other being when Gilda basically dominated and got rough with him. Both times, he could have gotten mad about what was happening, and moved to take control, doing what he wanted the way he wanted. With Gilda it would have made it clear that he would not be used as a sex toy, and with Twilight it would have made it clear to the others that he made the choices and they were not to interfere. He does neither, being as submissive as claimed most stallions are, if not more so.

It is an interesting idea and set up, but it never reaches the execution.

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