• Published 7th Oct 2016
  • 8,770 Views, 532 Comments

Warframe: Rebirth - REDMAMBA



An unknown child with a dark and mysterious past lands in Celestia's arms. She's nothing anypony has ever seen. She can't speak the language... worst of all... she is being hunted.

Comments ( 15 )

It was worth the wait

It's good to see this story continue :D, and why do I hear Saint-14's voice for Atlas?

Okay, wow. I'm honestly surprised Atlas actually tanked a groin shot. If that had been anyone else, that would have been excruciating!

So freaking COOOOOOOOL

I have to say that the beginning is great and it kept my attention until she runs off on a trip and the story takes a sharp left and goes off on a tangent for an extremely long time. The story looses me here. So I skip forward to her return to Canterlot, and by that point, my interest in the character and the situations chosen shortly following the return, just didn't pull me back in. Fighting a school bully was where I just found myself deciding to stop. It just didn't feel like it meshed with the first half at all, it felt extremely out of character and just off.

You know this is very similar to what happens in displaced stories. The reader gets pulled in by the characters and story line, then the story takes a massive turn that removes the characters that got the reader involved, then the story gets back on track, but by that time the charm of the story that attracted me, is very much dulled.

Just my opinion.

The Monk
"I was butt naked......and buff........and had white hair on my no-no region......." -Delta-Boio

11159664
There is also the fact that there was a struggle I had was trying to decide what two paths I wanted to take this story. I had to make a decision and stick with it. That's what I did.

11159682
Oh I definitely know that feeling. For me it tends to be the realization three chapters too late that I shouldn't have done something. Then trying to figure out how to get around my goof without scrapping the chapters. 😎

Writing is an art. Practice practice, practice and we never master it.

Monk
“I mean, you just seem to walk in random directions most of the time. How do you ever get to where you're going?" "Oh, that's easy," said Candy with a smile, ”I just make the place I end up, the place I wanted to be all along." There was an extended moment of silence. ”That... that's absolutely brilliant," -Trick Question

11150345
Aaaaaaand now I can't un hear it lol

Huh, a Warframe fic? Not too many of those around...... you've got me curious, ON WITH THE READING!! :pinkiecrazy:

Don't let her near The Pink One! The world will implode!

It's been over a year, still working on this?

I'm not trying rush you, just want some piece of mind.

11561312
I am. Just a ton happened. Focused on finishing college, tried to start a new permanent job to no avail. Had to focus on my health for a little while. I have a lot done, just need to finish things.

11561685have the love and support for all you need in life, we love you and your work and can't wait for more of this.

Hope this is not canceled

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