Brian, daredevil, adrenaline junky, crazy, all names people call him. Well when you jump out of airplanes and climb rock cliffs for fun, you might be called these things too. But for Brian, it was a normal skydiving jump, but things turn for the worst. When his parachute failed to open properly he ends up plummeting to earth in a horrible downward spiral. He came crashing down in a forest miles away from his landing zone. The last thing he remembered was a small purple creature carrying him away as he bled in its arms.
Now he's awake and living life to the fullest... well as full as he can when he learns that he's in a land full of small colorful horses. But a secret about his past is about to come to the light, and the only one that can answer the questions is Twilight.
(I was given permission to write this by e-tech this is his idea, I just wrote it, so the credit should go to him, although I get partial credit for writing it.)
Hehehehehehhe, he teleported.
Should be eye sight.
Should also be Hopefully, with a comma.
6838846 that's one of the reasons why I hate English at times. So many versions of words its hard to get the right one at times
I fixed it thank you
Should fix
indentionseparationparagraph separation.On the other note, HOT SAUSE!
6838887 Don't know how I missed the paragraph separation but sauce in hot sauce is spelled right.
6838920 Hot sauce is spelled correctly, I was just yelling out hot sauce for no reason what so ever.
As the last man jumped I knew it was my turn, without a second though
I believe you meant thought
The rush, the feeling of the wind rushing through my hair… I love it!
You used the word rush twice, it sounds weird.
Other than that just some akward wording but good enough. Ill follow to see what happens next
6841755 I'm more of an action type of guy so this is out of my norm. But a friend of mine wanted me to write him a story and who am I to say no?
So thanks for pointing out some issues.
Nightmares? The plot thickens!
But in all seriousness, your doing good so far! I think that's worth a like.
why.... is this story ded i wanna new chapter...
8153443 Well... this is a colab with another guy and unfortunatly he said he was going to write the next chapter! Hasn't really happened...
8153576 well... maybe you can go ahead without the other guy and continue andl let him write another chapter when he comes back i think he left the site or probs left writing so go without 'em
I can't wait until the next chapter