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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I have seen this somewhere
Can't remember where tho
Nice chapter btw 😄
So i searched it, was the quote up there a quote from Red Tails?
10142921
Yes. I just love that quote.
Nice to know there are people who are not freaking out about the virus. Yes it bad but its not up there with 2009 pandemic.
10142972
Yes! I knew it... In my subconscious
Yeah it is a pretty nice scene
pm1.narvii.com/6722/bcc13e1283bf1080ec6db7d1038093c98e3d0df3_00.jpg
That was a rough read for me. Not going to lie about that, but it was an awesome three chapters to catchup on. I really do hope Raven gets a few of her Tenno friends soon as Stalker is not going to be an easy third round battle to deal with alone. Or we could just send in Clem. ^^
This chapter has been alright so far. The big downside is when Raven and Celestia was having a conversation of sorts about Raven's past.
Using a shortcut to describe the Warframe's universe instead of using Raven's dialogue, like the other parts of the chapter, felt like it had hollowed some big secret. Lots of information can be gained based on how they talked, it can help readers relate and obtain a certain feeling about the character. Dialogue holds a lot of power that sadly, some fictions on this site were too lazy to write it all out.
I can't help but feel like it has lost a lot of it's emotional package when going this route. Especially when the typical response the other party makes is "she listens patiently as her friend let it all out". Sure, some characters don't interject during those talks, but what and how the character speaks and responds holds a lot of weight. These are what makes fictions worth reading.
Would you be invested in the story if the emotional scene is suddenly described as "I told you my secret and cried and then you comfort me" or would you rather the emotional scene play out "I... I came from Earth, mom... and... and I was an experiment"
That would certainly play out differently as now we put the other character into the spotlight and we see their true colours.
Up until this point, I still find it hard to view Celestia as a mother figure to Raven when most of the time Celestia feels like a background character B. I thought that scene would have change my view, not reinforce it.
Tl;dr
Using shortcut by not writing the dialogue between two characters is detrimental to any emotional and or impact of the scene. Describing how the character mention every plot point feels shallow and empty, borderlining a draft.
10264249
Perhaps an addition is in order then. I did like this because of what has been presented thus far. But I do agree that cheesing it like I did was probably not the beat route. When I kept running options through my head the chapter just kept getting longer.