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bubble bee - bumblebee
made it on the train - made it onto the train
go through the things - go through her/their things
primed for a big day - primed for the big day
smacked him in the cheek - smacked him on the cheek
No sir-ee - No siree
then dream about it - then dreamt about it
*****
This is off to a beautiful start! There is already so much sweetness that my glucose levels are rising, and I'm perfectly happy with that.
7289430
How do you know that it isn't a pun-name for a new creature? A bubble bee.
7290079
Because he spells it right in the next paragraph?
A good start so far
And the worst of [if], as far as night was concrned
that if needs to be [it] I belive
In other news I was the 1st like yay! Up next we have alot of can't wait for the next chapter.
They were the young and horny kind of couple are they?
7292082 All fixed! And will be onto the next chapter today
worst of if - worst of it
on-board - onboard
*****
Not a lot to say yet, besides that I love how this is developing. I already like Twilight Velvet as a character, and can see how Twilight Sparkle is her daughter.
It was very kind of Twilight to offer Night her muffin to munch, too.
7293676 Wasn't sure about "on board" vs "onboard" so looked it up. We were both incorrect. http://grammarist.com/usage/onboard-on-board/
7293676 Also, my stories have a long history of mares letting stallions munch on their muffins... what? Double-en-whatnow? I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about.
7293685
Shoot. They might make me turn in my wings and fangs for this.
Oh well, I learned something, at least.
7293689 It is a bad day that you learn nothing at all.
Will Night Light be badass in this story as well?
he saw something - he had seen something
Hey eyes twinkled - Her eyes twinkled
anymore songs - any more songs
*****
I really like where this is all going. I like the plot hook, and I love the characters so far.
great work!!!
7296063 Glad you like it. Likes-dislikes is a bit harsh so far, but damn it I am writing this cool story and I am not going to stop!
7296024 Night is pretty badass already... well, at least he acts it. He is doing what a good guardspony does, puts himself in danger so others don't need to.
It was the sea Staccato's - It was the sea Staccato's
The words grew weight - The words grew in weight --or-- The words grew heavy
What am I doing, no, bad stallion. - What am I doing? No, bad stallion.
No more rest for the wickered. - No more rest for the wicked. --or-- No more rest for the whickered.
nothing brewing between him and Night - nothing brewing between him and Twilight
*****
Looks like the party is assembled, now the real adventure can begin.
Twilight and Night look like a foregone conclusion at this point (and they are), but I wonder if there will be any challenges other than simply getting them to admit that they like one another.
Sorry for taking so long on this, I eagerly await the next chapter!
7300264 All fixed! Glad somepony seems to be enjoying my new stories, I didn't realize just how many were reading Given Shape.
And no sweat, the next chapter of this is half-written, but I had to leave it at just the new commissioned story for today, a good friend was sick and needed cheering up.
7300271
Best wishes to you and your friend, I hope you both feel better soon!
7300271 Given Shape is what got me to hit you up on patreon and I hope your friend gets better.
What would happened if someone's in heat and rut at the same time?
7304955 Well, heat is for females, rut is for males. Herms are, traditionally, not fertile for both sides. I am not sure where that pertains to this story though...
7305089 It's a 'What If' question?
7305097 Ah, well, in a traditional world, and this is that so far, it cannot happen since rut and estrus both require fertility.
Also please note, this story is rated T, so please be careful of mature topics.
7305105 Didn't you used to have it Rated M?
7305137 When I posted the first chapter, but I revised how I planned to continue it. It will be teen with maybe an extra chapter posted under a mature flag as an option.
Woops, sorry for the early publish, undid it quick. This is what I get for doing stuff while a little tanked. Also, I am sorry for any (likely a lot) of mistakes in this one, pain and alcohol dull my conjugation skills a touch.
somepony Sweet - somepony, Sweet
)
be he caught - but he caught
Night colors - Night colored
apparently be listening - apparently been listening
The stalling suddenly - The stallion suddenly (quite the Freudian slip there
apology and praise was - apology and praise were
might have gave - might have given
He gorgeous - Her gorgeous
*****
Another fun chapter where the author and the two main characters tantalize us by dancing ever closer to what we all know is already written down in the history books.
I would have expected Twilight or Night to ask for a situation report or even a full debrief from the crew that they are relieving, but perhaps the journal will have all the answers they need. Besides, they are probably more focussed on returning home with their little tree-hugger to be in the over, so to speak.
The whole herbivore/carnivore classification isn't quite as clean-cut as the science books would have us believe. Herbivores are just as capable of consuming and digesting meat as anything else, but they are not designed to hunt for it so it's more a meal of opportunity than anything else. For proof there is documented evidence that deer like meat, and birds.
7306321
Aw.. nuts. I was going to read the new chapter before leaving for work.
7306437
more focussed on - more focused on
little tree-hugger to be in the over - little Tree Hugger to be in the oven
*****
I really couldn't resist that. I am a little tipsy right now, but still I had to call those. Thanks as always, you are awesome!
7306491
No worries. What's good for the mare, is good for the stallion, after all, and I should have been more careful.
Oh, and I intentionally didn't make tree-hugger a proper noun just in case I wasn't calling it correctly.
7306505 Nah, you picked that right. Did you get Sweetie Drops' mom in there too? There will be a few other parent-cameos to come.
then counter three - then counted three
ten angry bumblebears. - ten angry bumblebears?
leaned closed to Night - leaned close to Night
*****
Snuggles unlocked! Next achievement: snogging!
Hmm... I wonder what the offspring between a siren and a gryphon would look like...
7308500 Oh I would not be so interested as to what their offspring would be like, but who their parents would be...
Let's buck this problem? Nice wordplay.
I'm guessing those two eggs are who they are?
7316752
quickly was lost - was lost quickly
If it's just Torch, how can it be 'all three'? Are there more dragons hanging around out of sight?
*****
Light on typos today, just one and a half that I could find after three passes.
I was pleasantly surprised by another tie-in to the canon that I would not have imagined, but makes sense in context. Excellent work.
If anyone else were writing this story, I'd think that this was an innocent coincidence in phrasing...
7317222 All fixed. And yeah, this literally ties itself into the show so easily it isn't funny. Where did Celestia get a badly formed dragon egg? Why, destiny itself. Destiny is otherwise known as Twilight Velvet.
7317416
And enough years had passed that it makes sense that she would not recognize the egg when it was brought out to test Twilight Sparkle. So there is no continuity error there.
7317627 Or maybe she did and was just keeping mum about it?
that without her - that, without her
there is only one reason - there was only one reason
long rope - long chain
Land never felt - Land had never felt
both unicorn blushed - both unicorns blushed
monsterous - monstrous
*****
Such a sweet ending to a lovely little story. There are still plenty of hooks to use for a sequel as well.
It would be interesting to see Captain Sharp again. With the slip in her speech pattern, I get the sense that she's acting like she thinks a pirate ought to for the adventure of it all.
Steve Magnet being Stacatto's grandfather caught me off guard in a "Please make the universe stop taunting us", kind of way.
Well played, sir.
*****
Twilight found out about this back in chapter 5.
Frida has joined the party!
7329664 I somehow missed this. All fixed, inconsistency corrected. Thank you!
Staccato joined the party!
Huh. So Spike is blood heir to the throne anyway? Nice!
Makes you wonder what they use for glue...
Wonderful little story!
Keep going! ;)
oh, ha ha veryyy funny...
the show says otherwise.....
The relationship was too fast, it went from unknown to marriage in about a few seconds. For me at least
such an underrated and lovely story!
loved it :D