IT (2017)
A huge crowd of people drained from the Canterlot movie theatre. As the crowd dispersed, a few seconds passed before everyone’s favourite ex-sirens followed through the doors after them.
Maybe it was the mixture of all the old horror movies that made them want to seek out something new, or maybe it was the fact that this latest release had received positive reviews all around the globe that had brought them here. Whatever the reason, they had all fancied a change, succumbed to the mainstream and ventured out to see the new cinematic adaptation of Stephen King’s IT.
The trio walked from the movie theatre in silence, already getting a few meters away before any of them dared speak up. And when they finally did speak, each of them chimed in at once.
“Holy crap!”
“That was…” Adagio’s face was glued to the ground.
“I can’t believe it...” Aria said in an empty tone.
“That was just…” Adagio continued searching for the words
“Holy crap,” Sonata repeated.
“You already said that.”
“And it was even more accurate the second time.”
“That was…”
The penny dropped.
“Awful.”
“Terrible!”
“One of the worst horror movies I’ve ever seen!”
The group all looked between each other.
“Really?” they all asked in unison.
“I think that’s the first time we’ve ever all agreed on anything before.”
“The tone was all over the place.”
“It was way too long.”
“It wasn’t even scary!”
“Aria, I would have thought you’d liked it?” Sonata asked.
“Why is that?” she frowned.
“Because it was like, all super edgy. You’re into that stuff,” she shrugged.
“I like grunge, not edge. And that was like trying to make Stranger Things edgy, there’s some things that just shouldn’t be edgy.”
“Didn’t you like Jared Leto’s Joker?” Adagio asked.
“Yes, and?”
“... Kind of the same thing.”
“It is not!”
Sonata frowned. “Taking a character who’s entire thing is being over the top funny and then making him ridiculously edgy to appeal to teenage girls - it’s exactly the same thing.”
“It is not! And why are you both focusing on me?”
“Because it is the same thing! And you have that awful taste!” Adagio laughed aloud.
Aria cocked a hip.
“Explain.”
“Well,” Adagio began to count off her fingers. “You think the Joker is sexy, you loved Twilight when that was a thing, you love Tim Burton-”
“There's nothing wrong with Tim Burton!”
“You like modern Burton, though” Sonata cringed.
“What’s wrong with modern Burton?!” Aria stressed.
“Alice in Wonderland… Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… what do they both have in common?”
Sonata chimed in before Aria could answer.
“Both awful edgy misinterpretations of the source material," Sonata said, matter-of-factly.
Aria snapped around.
“And just when the hell did you get so smart?”
“I’ve always been smart, I just pretend to be dumb because it’s cute.”
“What?”
“What?” Sonata smiled, oblivious.
“We thought you would have liked it because it was another edgy remake of a masterpiece, and that seems to be your thing so... sue us,” Adagio stated.
Sonata and Aria’s gaze fell onto Adagio as they both identically repeated,
“Masterpiece!?”
“Yes…?” Adagio was confused. “I mean the original movie. With Tim Curry.”
Her opinion barely left her mouth before she was met with explosive laughter from her two sisters.
“Adagio, the original is awful!”
“Shut up, no it’s not!”
“Nah, Dagi, it’s pretty bad.”
“How is it?”
“It’s too slow, the effects are goofy and it’s way too long.”
“You’re just repeating what Nostalgia Critic said!”
“I honestly had no idea you knew what Youtube was.”
“Well, I do. And he was wrong too, that movie is a cinematic masterpiece.”
“Except it was a TV show and not a movie.”
This time it was Adagio who turned on Sonata.
“Okay, what is it with you today?”
“No, she’s right,” Aria defended. “The original was a mini-series.”
“I know she is right! And the fact it was a TV series and still works well as a movie is just more points towards it being amazing.”
“But it doesn’t work as a movie!”
“Yes it does!”
“Adagio, come on. You can’t tell us you legitimately thought the original was a masterpiece and expect us to take your opinion seriously.”
“Well it is my opinion.”
“Then your opinion sucks and you have bad taste.”
“Jared Leto’s Joker…?”
“Shut your whore mouth.”
“Language!” Sonata snapped.
“At least the original was better than this one,” Adagio mumbled.
“Agreed. Why the heck did that get such good reviews?”
“Again, it was edgy.”
“Is that all it takes for a movie to be successful?”
“You know what I don’t get?” Sonata asked. “Why was Pennywise a clown?”
Aria rolled her eyes.
“Seriously, Sonata?”
“No, really! Why was he a clown?”
“Because clowns are scary.”
“And it was like that in the original book.”
“Why are clowns scary?”
Adagio shrugged.
“They’re super cheerful but look creepy as heck, I don’t know, I’m not scared of them.”
“Exactly, they’re super cheerful! He wasn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s right, that’s what I was saying!” Aria exclaimed. “They made Pennywise serious and creepy, but part of what makes clowns scary is how overly happy they are. They completely missed the point of what makes clowns horrifying.”
Adagio shrugged.
“I guess…”
“So they shouldn’t have made him a clown,” Sonata repeated.
Aria shook her head.
“You can’t just do that though, that’s like making Jurassic Park without dinosaurs. IT is about clowns.”
“Well then the actor should have been funnier!”
“I don’t think that’s really the actor’s fault, Sonata.”
“I thought he was pretty hot,” Aria grinned.
“Not this again,” Adagio grimaced.
“What?”
“You sexuallizing none-sexual characters.”
“Adagio, we are literally sirens. We seduce people with our bodies and kill them, it’s what we do. And you’re way more perverted than either of us.”
Adagio chewed her lip.
“But I’m one of the good perverts.”
“How!?”
“I’m just sexy! And I know that I am, so I use it to my advantage. I’m not weird about it, like you.”
“How am I weird about it!?”
“You just are! With all your role playing and stuff.”
“You own a nurses outfit, you can't talk.”
“That’s different! Nurses are sexy, a planet isn’t.”
Aria groaned.
“That was a meme, it wasn’t serious. And that hasn’t even happened yet!”
“What do you mean?”
“We just watched IT in the cinema which means this chapter is in 2017, Earth-Chan dosen’t become a meme until January.”
Adagio groaned.
“This timeline is really inconsistent.”
“And congrats on just massively dating this entire story,” Sonata rolled her eyes. “People will read this in two years and wonder what the heck you’re talking about. Honestly I swear this whole thing is just a conduit for somebody too lazy to be a movie critic and too depressed to write anything other than fanfiction to get their opinions out.”
Adagio made a cutting gesture with her finger.
“Dial it back, too meta.”
Sonata shrugged.
“I just want to go back to watching The Thing. I don’t know why we stopped halfway through.”
“What thing?” Aria asked.
“The movie.”
“What, IT? We watched all of that.”
“No I know, I mean THE Thing.”
“Which thing?”
“Girls, would you kindly fucking not?”
“Sorry, Adagio,” the girls said in unison.
The walk back to the apartment was a short one, and before they knew it the trip had reached their apartment block. A quick trip through reception and into the elevator and they were stood in front of their front door.
“I did like the references they made to the original, I admit,” Adagio unlocked the door, allowing her sisters in behind her.
“Which references?” Sonata asked.
“Oh, I caught that,” Aria said. “The puppets, right?”
“Puppets?”
“In that one scene with all the puppets, there were some pictures on the wall of Tim Curry’s Pennywise.”
“Aww, that’s cute!” Sonata beamed.
“It was cute, but it didn’t really excuse the rest of it. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve cared that much about a movie in a long time. And not in a good way.”
“I know, it really bothered me,” Aria agreed. “They could have least tried to make it more like the novel.”
Adagio locked the door behind them, threw the keys down onto the coffee table and collapsed onto the sofa.
“You’ve read the novel?” she asked.
Aria nodded.
“I don’t massively like Kings stuff usually but eh, I like horror stories.”
“And sexy clowns,” Sonata mumbled, crossing the living room with a plate full of biscuits.
“Piss off.”
Adagio grinned.
“Hey, Aria…”
“What?”
“You remember that one part in the book?”
“Which part?”
“That part.”
“Which… Oh. Adagio, please don’t.”
“I can’t believe they missed out my favourite part.”
“Which part?” Sonata asked.
Adagio chuckled.
“The absolute highlight of the original and the most criminally underrated scene ever.”
“Adagio!”
“Which part?”
The older siren sneered.
“You don’t know what originally happens after they defeat Pennywise?.”
“No, what?”
“Christ, Adagio! Can you not? It’s gross.”
“Oh Aria, she deserves to know! It was in line with Stephen King’s original vision, after all.”
“Yeah, and it was disgusting, out of place, and very, very illegal.”
“Oh, like you’ve never done anything illegal before.”
“Jesus, not that bad though! Only sickos like you would want that to be included.”
“What? What!? Somebody tell me!” Sonata moaned.
“Don’t you dare,” Aria glared at Adagio.
Adagio laughed obnoxiously.
“Alright, alright,” she held her hands up in defense. “Sorry Sonata, you’ll have to read the book to find out that one.”
Sonata crossed her arms, grumbling.
“Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” Aria said, quieter this time.
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Oh thank god! I'm really running out of Dazzling stories to read! Hope your well.
Yes! Very well played!
This bit at the end? I haven't seen or read any of them. But if that's the bit you mean, I'm kind of reminded of what they did with the ending of Hannibal. In that case, the book's ending would have been better, but I can't really say either way here.
If they want modern horror, I'd like to see them watch The Babadook. Or possibly Unfriended.
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Dog Soldiers
Resident Evil
Predator
Blade
Nightmare on Elm's Street
Some suggestions for you.
What happen to part 2?
Well, I wasn't expecting this to update! There's a nice surprise
I have a suggestion. Little Shop of Horrors the musical. Except, don't let them know it's a musical, make sure they can't turn it off, and trap them so they can't walk away. Besides that? Shin Godzilla.
Well given this chapter if you like king do not read wind through the key hole it will be the last book by him you will read it's that bad great chapter though
Van Helsing.
The Thing Part 2.
Godzilla vs King Ghidorah.
8786082
Dog Soldiers was an unexpected gem.
If you need ideas for movies for them to watch.... Sharktopus Trilogy.
I Take it you didn't like IT (2017)?
Kind of saddened they have seen the original. I would love to read their reactions to Tim Curry. Guess I will have to wait for Congo.
Brilliant story so far!
Personally I'd love to see their reactions to an old 80's flick like Gremlins or Beetlejuice. Or maybe Shaun of the Dead...
Delightful antics with a surprisingly deep and dark developing storyline underneath. Looking forward to more.
8786754
Not a bad idea, but given the mechanics of the MLP universe when it comes to musical numbers being actual in-universe things (see: s06e02 - All Bottled Up, Twilight & friends’ story), the girls would probably acknowledge it’s existence as a musical the most accurate or “feels like home” film they’ve watched. Assuming, of course that the EQG world does not function on the same principles.
Recalling the mentioning of Sonata having nightmares following a previous horror movie, how about the Nightmare on Elm St series? Give Sonata a (supposedly) legit excuse not to fall asleep and drive Aria and Adagio spare trying to explain that a knife fingered psychopath won't show up and gut her whilst she sleeps. Or the Friday the 13th series?
On a side note, as the first few chapters dealt with Japanese Kaiju films, how about the sirens seeing the original 1950's Godzilla movie?
Is this dead?