• Member Since 16th Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen Aug 10th, 2016

Melody_Wings


A girl with a merpony heart, a pegasus soul and the brain of a MLP shipper. The result is a merpegasus lovebird. (Disclaimer: my user image was made off a game)

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When Fluttershy goes into the Everfree to pick some berries for her date, she finds an unconscious pony near death. Normally, she would help them straight away but there is just one problem... It's King Sombra.

This is Sombra-Shy so if you don't like it, don't read it! This is my first story so please don't judge me :twilightsmile: Cover art by the fabulous Evehly. Inspired by the amazing story Non-Entity by Woolly and fantastic Bride of Discord by DisneyFanatic23. Enjoy! :pinkiehappy:

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 37 )

It's a bit short, but for a beginner you have great writing skill! I can't wait for more! :raritystarry:

Hmm...there's been a lot of new SombraShy stories lately...huh. I'll keep a look out for this one. It's a good start, just needs to be a bit longer.

Thanks :pinkiehappy: the next chapter will be coming out soon. I'll try to make it a bit longer :raritywink:

I like the concept; it reminds me of how my first fic was originally written, being it was SombraShy related and also took place in the Everfree Forest. However, one thing I should suggest is to make any future chapters a bit longer. It can be hard to make a fruitful chapter in under 1.5k words.

Anyhow, I'll be eagerly awaiting for updates!

Thanks, I'm sorry I am taking so long but I accidentally deleted the third chapter and now I have to re-write it again :raritycry: I hope it will be out soon :pinkiehappy:

Sorry for the long wait... :twilightsheepish: Constrictive criticism is welcome :pinkiehappy:

Does anypony have an idea for the next chapter? I want to hear what you ponies would like. :raritywink:

maybe twilight and the others could come over telling her of Sombras return and hes on the run. asking if she's seen something or know and she lies to their face, with sombra up in the room listening and because of what she did he begins to trust her?

Cool, idea :pinkiehappy: I might add it in. Thanks for the suggestion. I have planned out the story plot but I haven't separated it into chapters yet so thanks :raritywink:

Also. I'm hoping to get big mac to make an appearance soon :eeyup:

Pretty good so far!
Really loving it!:twilightsmile:

I got the Zukko referance :D
Zukko is spelled with two k's, just to let you know :)

Thanks, :pinkiehappy: I'm currently writing the 5th chapter. I am really happy that there's another ATLA person! Yay! :yay:

I got the Zuko refference, i love love LOVE Avatar the last airbender!!!:heart::raritystarry: Second- OH SCRAP! Discord found out!:pinkiegasp: Third- Your welcome, glad i could help you!!:raritywink::yay::pinkiehappy:

I just shared the link to this fanfic on my Google+ circle! :pinkiehappy:

Really enjoy this ship, :heart: probably has some of the better fan fictions I've read. Can't wait for an update, hope it's soon :pinkiehappy:

Thanks! :pinkiehappy: I'm trying to get chapter 5 out ASAP but I have loads of exams now so it's a slow process :twilightsheepish:

MORE.................:flutterrage: um please

7288330 im really glad you are enjoying it btw: Big Macintosh will finally appear in the next chapter! :pinkiehappy: "eeyup." :eeyup:

Deep, filthy and long gashes ran across his body, his breath jaggered and uneaven. His black fur was scarred and he was unconscious. But the one thing that made Fluttershy's blood run cold was the identity of the stallion. She could recognise him anywhere... It was the former ruler of the Crystal Empire, tyrant and king. The pony that was lying, near death, before of her was King Sombra...

I knew this was coming, but... whoa! :rainbowderp:

You certainly caught my attention! The only issue I have is some slight grammatical errors, and a few places that could use extending. Nothing major enough to be more than a tiny pet peeve, though. Excuse my language :fluttershysad:

First fic? Well, well done! I look forward to reading more, as I might be able to learn a little from you! :twilightsmile:

Intriguing... A Sombra-Shy ship interrupting a Fluttermac ship? This is going to be a unique experience, to be sure. :moustache:

Also, nice usage of the term 'Sapient'. It was a treat to see someone actually use that word! :pinkiesmile:

However, on the other, he could and would die if she left him there and she would be responsible for the death of a pony! If she gets extremely upset by animal deaths, how would she react to the death of a sapient being?

I think I'm getting the gist of who's behind that voice... I won't say anything yet, 'cause I want to be sure...

Nice job so far! And:

A mighty (well, not so much after the events at the Crystal Empire) unicorn King literally lying unconscious before a weak pegasus mare

Fluttershy! How dare you be dynamic?! :rainbowlaugh:

I like the way you made her less one-dimensional than a lot of people have. Good work. :yay:

Twilight had been subconsciously rising as she panicked and had now hit her head on the ceiling, dropping to the floor.

Nice use of that scene. :twilightsmile:

“Your right!” said the stage-hoof, frantically pushing his hooves through his rebellious mane. “Your right! But there might be somepony at the organ who can tell us how the stage ca-”

“Fluttershy? Darling are you home?”

‘Perfect,’ she groaned inwardly.

Get used to it Flutters, happens to me three times a day! :rainbowlaugh:

and Pinkie… Well, Pinkie was bouncing around the group, singing and eating cake but that was nothing out of the ordinary.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Perfect! There is no wrong way to write Pinkie's randomness! I loved this! :rainbowlaugh:

Once again, you put out another good chapter. The only issues I have with this fic so far is a little undone grammar here and there, but not enough to warrant anything beyond a simple "Huh,", and some of the scenes seem a bit rushed. But I'm still trying to figure out how to solve that issue with my work, so I have no complaints!

Good work.

Disclaimer: no matter how many stars I wish on, I never will own MLP. :fluttercry:

:rainbowlaugh: You and me both, kid! :rainbowlaugh:

Another amusing chapter. Nice!

7301626 Thanks for the nice feedback :pinkiehappy: I'll try to write more often and correct those small mistakes :twilightsmile:

7304344
Take your time, kid. I still need to work out the bugs in my own multi-chapter fic. Your story is good so far! :twilightsmile:

It's great to get back from something and find that a new chapter was made a few days ago! I don't care if it was short, it was still awsome! :pinkiehappy:

7318474 Thanks :twilightsmile: Chapter 6 will be up soon :pinkiehappy:

More please if you... don't. .. um (shuffles hooves nervously) mind *squeak*

Comment posted by Hopelessromantic XO deleted Apr 20th, 2018

Nice job on your first fic!😄 I am sucked into this!

MORE NOW! please🥺🥺

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