It cant be that bad

708631
Eh, I suppose you just have to read it and tell me what you think.

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

img26.elex-tech.org/9/2012/0410/9c/4/06783/600x600x75x0.png it was that bad

708719
Yeah, it's... bad.

Well, what can I say, I'm writing about teenage-d mental illness in a slipshod fashion (it's not 100% me... more like 50% me).

Can you say that, even though it was 'bad' in terms of content material, you still felt better for reading it? Or no?

708779 I have seen some shit
shit that would make you cringe
shit that should have been expunged from human history
and all that shit i have seen has not made me feel disturbed at all
then i read your story
and i am honestly disturbed

708796
Did you just write a poem right now?

708813 no

708833
Thanks for reading, at least!

Fave it. Fave it hard.

And the story? Well, everyone has an id. I occasionally let mine out to play.

Is it good? Well, it kept me reading, which is more than I can say of most of the "stories" I run across. But I'm happy to confirm that, yes, you can write better.

I think I need to compare that original ending though. In a way I wonder if this one is actually more horrifying.

Why... my brain was so full of both a little yes and a whole lot of NOOOOOOOOOOOO

dude! ewww

Honestly, I'm more bothered by the fact that this doesn't bother me.

I like this ending but the original had its own dark satisfaction
708796
Also, this doesn't faze me , it's a fine piece of work

709690

If you like sci-fi, dark, gore and sex, I'd recommend the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series by Laurell K. Hamilton. Book 21 came out today! Time to read that!

709880
i stoped reading those after the one with the crossdressing hermaphrodite werehyena

709967

He was unique, there's no more of that after Narcissus in Chains (the book he appears in).
Anyway, it's not really crossdressing if the person is a hermaphrodite.

Eh. I seen worse.

Does that make me heartless if I didnt feel anything?

709973
true, that

708796
What kinda stuff are you referring to here? because if you've seen the stuff you describe reading this would be a cakewalk. at least, for me it was.
maybe i'm just heartless... but if this disturbed you then i doubt you've seen much.

well it was ok.........have a pony
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vrth9EwD1r5xzspo1_500.gif

(p.s. i like it)

That was an interesting read.

weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/dafuq-is-this-shit.jpg

thewildchildren.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/276254_Papel-de-Parede-Meme-Me-Gusta-Assustador_1920x12002.jpg

I've known I've had bizarre tastes from the start!

I liked it!

Sensitive subjects and all, but yeah, twas good!

Indeedweknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/dafuq-is-this-shit.jpg

i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/LegionScavenger/tumblr_ltlco9uImf1qfrl6j.gif

Okay, in all seriousness, I haven't read it yet. although I'm going to. When I'm not in class. That would be awkward.

I read it and , the dark tag is kinda unneeded if you ask me, just a warning for disturbing incest and a sad tag is enough, tragedy maybe too.

It's a lighter ending... Ehhhh I've seen much worse. Not really my thing, so I wont rate it, but it isnt being surrounded by downvotes. That's a good thing. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

MY MIND IS FULL OF FUCK!

Some days I really disapprove of FiM Fiction stories like this...

But the grammar was good and your pacing of this story was wonderful.....It felt like you didn't jump to mindless sex. (You provided a good back story)

But the subject of the story seemed......dirty..and not the clop clop dirty but more like I want to take a shower to wash away my morals so I can actually read.

In other words Great job in the grammar rules department but....please don't expect a pat on the back for the content of this story.

how many episodes were released at the time that you wrote this.

I laughed throughout all of it.
raspberry reminds me of myself a little

The language could use a little work. Like this: "Not to mention, for goodness sakes, proper color matching"
Coordination is the word you're looking for. I had to point that one out.

So... What's wrong with him? You kind of describe his problem, but you never actually say what it is. He has issues with memorizing things is all I understood.

709061
You can see the original at: https://viewer.zoho.com/docs/mJUd0

711367
I would say it's a mix of extreme social anxiety / phobia, a lack of memory / retention of facts, manic depression, dyslexia, and something like a mid-functioning autism that overall makes him unable to socially link with anyone besides his mother. A family of wrong things, rather than just one wrong thing w.r.t mental illness.

Dear God...
So much no...
I think I need to just go and wash my hoof of this story.
Ha! You only mentioned one hoof...
Princess... you... AHHH!!! This is why you end up in seedy gossip papers!

Thou shall become accustomed to it...
The respite from dear sister's lewdness was my only Lunar comfort. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png

Well, it seems to have bothered people, which in my book implies its actually well written. Otherwise the off-putting subject matter wouldn't have as much effect. I am interested to read it, even knowing it may bother me. Adding to read later, will edit this comment with my verdict when I do!

I'm not sure how to reply to his. Well done?

O_O yeeeaah so im just gonna...um go yeah.... *JUMPS OUT WINDOW*

Dude, what the fuck!?

Incest? Hell no. No.

static.fjcdn.com/comments/OH+DEAR+GOD+NO+um+_42a37d5ea3b28e704e9c45dd69573d75.png

There's already enough fucked-up clopfics, this is just... no.
You wrote everything extremely well, but the topic was just immoral. For the sake of people noticing your talent at writing instead of this story in particular, never do incest-related things ever again.
I'm not trying to be a dick here, I'm just incredibly disturbed by this fic. Just tell me if you're really insulted by this comment and I'll remove it.

I don't get why people downvote things for being disturbing. Honestly, if it's well-written, it deserves a thumbs up. Which means you get a thumbs up.

me gusta I LOVED IT

I'm not saying incest is a good thing in real life ESPECIALLY MomxSon crap. But as a story I thought this was a very good story! Like what Gnome said I have read some real SHIT in my life. My school has made me read so many depressing an rather gory stories that it makes me wonder why they're confused about the suicide rate increasing.

Anywho, considering this is a story I saw it as a very nice read though the ending made me a little sad. (idk why) I think people take incest stories to close to home and imagine what would happen if somebody was actually caught doing it which effects their feelings of the quality.

I for one loved this STORY and will now proceed to thumb and fav. :)

I'm 12 and wat is this

But in all honesty I find this pretty horrifying, and I hope that your mind and your life are all fixed up now Swiper, cause it must have taken some serious shit to make you write this.

That.......was disgusting. I thought this stuff only happened in psychology books too......

is it weird that i see no problem in this at all lol but good story, the dark tag is not needed nor the tragedy tag sad yes

This made me laugh my ass off

795277
Ah... really not the emotion I was going for.

But I'm still happy that you liked it, at least...

I don't know how to feel about this...
The taboo sex hit my depraved sensibilities right on the spot...
But the whole mental illness, parent is alone and doesn't know what to do, is a tad too close to the heart for comfort...
Congrats you're probably the fourth writer ever to make me feel conflicted over something.

708796 Meh not the worse thing I've read.

708796 Meh not the worse thing I've read.

718531 What? U no Like?