- Member Since 5th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen 15 minutes ago
Betoran
"It is easy to live ignoring the truth, ignoring the pain, the loneliness, the sadness. But it is hard to accept it." - Sage man who I forgot his name... Luna's best Princess!. :D
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- hollowsbest · 7.7k words · 81 10 · 3.2k views
- Thunder Quill · 27k words · 167 32 · 3.9k views
- New Dawn · 54k words · 120 11 · 4.8k views
- golden dawn · 9.2k words · 104 45 · 3.4k views
- Sketch D Tail · 65k words · 367 27 · 9.6k views
- Kamen rider yokai · 67k words · 165 37 · 6k views
- FrostTheWolf · 256k words · 248 51 · 9.6k views
- Dracosaurian · 1.3k words · 43 5 · 2.2k views
Featured In8
Human in Equestria17,015 stories ·16,837 members
Looking for Editors3,383 stories ·5,416 members
Human Magic760 stories ·1,867 members
League of Humans Acting Heroically357 stories ·1,157 members
Displaced1,268 stories ·4,421 members
True Adventures35 stories ·43 members
human turned :)832 stories ·973 members
Crossovers with Death Battle Combatants538 stories ·65 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.176 seconds
Total duration
732 users online
779,690 hits today, 2,151,698 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This story has lots of potential. I hope to see more of this...though you need an editor as you've made a few spelling mistakes.
I love how this was done. I want to cross over with you when the opportunity comes
5962973
I was re-reading the story, I found out 'yourney' which should have been 'journey' and then 'alwaysr' which was 'always'
Thanks by the way, I already got nine chapters on my phone in six different universes cause...(6 words: too much free time in school) I just cant decide if I should put him on Season 2, or in Season 5... or maybe Kilana97's universe. Too many ways of making the story :P wish me luck xD.
5963001
The first five chapters are like the prologue, Gray wouldn't remember much from the past and will get glimpses of light and black out every so often and so we get to see what happen to him in the past. Then after that I would need a crossover partner to explain gray about the displaced :D
P.S. Thanks :D
5963041 Ur welcome. We can talk about it through PM if you want
I'm surprise you didn't go the typical guy goes to a comic-con gets sent to Equestria and gets stoned route ....... Finally thank the gods favorite
5963061
Thanks, I thought pretty hard and I wanted to change things a little, making the character enter Equestria an be see as a hero more than being encased in stone.(but in the past, before Luna became NM)
,,,
Actually the idea came from my drunk diary... you really wont believe what is inside that thing... but it all end well in the end :D
P.S. Thanks again :P
5963041 Hey for when you are free to cross over then I'd like to as well!
Nice backstory for Grey.
This is awesome please keep going
Now I like where this is going.
Next chapter please.
You didn't have a proof reader? I'm too busy to sit down and help out, but I can at least help out a little... Replace all "whit" with "with".
Otherwise I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
5964935
Yeah, thanks bro! When I return to my house I would change it, I discover many errors in some points that I am gonna correct later on cause at the moment I'm on school trying to think ideas for future chapters.
...
And the hangover doesn't help much... But what can I do? 'You are fucked up!' is what my science teacher said to me. /)
P.S. If I finish another chapter today I would totally get drunk and dance!
P.S.S. I am half-way on the third chapter, I just need to finish it and re-read it, like, nine times and then I will upload it /) *Bro hoof*
P.S.S.S. Thanks for the support ;D
Wouldn't a costume for Gray just be putting on a striped pair of boxers and calling it a day?
As for errors Dint --> Didn't seemed to be the most prevalent.
5968162
Different between my character and the real deal: I ain't exhibitionism xD
P.S. Thanks, I didn't knew I was misspelling that word, I would have to make some changes in chapter three it seems. it have many of those xD
P.S.S. He's a lazy bastard, he ain't gonna go an make a detailed costume like the samus aram guy or somebody else xD
Is Grey going to have that stripping habit in this? That would make for some comedic moments.
5969517
Continue debating it, on one hand it is fun, on the other it kill all seriousness, but I really want to you know? I got some ideas already with the guards, and mares blushing but I don't know. We would have to wait and see xD
Watching Gray's memories was very sweet, especially with how he interacted with Celestia and his friendship with the ponies of ancient times.
5971159
I am glad you like it, there is only one more chapter that shows his past :P after that... Canterlot
Honestly this is pretty damn interesting. You have a good idea and you seem to know where you are going with this but you need a proof-reader or an editor. Excellent concept but really a lot hope for in the execution.
Oh well... I'll still track this since you actually got me interested.
5977667
Thanks bro, I know I am not the best in making the scenes but I am trying to change that on chapter four.
It is nice to know that people are actually interesting in my story.
P.S. Give your energy to me! cause this man ain't gonna sleep sh**!
P.S.S. Now I understand how hard it is to pick a battle song... they are all so beautiful.... oh, spoiler alert!
P.S.S.S. /) For you guy/girl behind that screen and gave me a like or is interested in ma story!
A... a Fairy Tail Displaced!?!?!?!?!? Thank you good sir!
5968162 Well, imagine him meeting a Saber Tooth- guy, and being challenged to a battle. He would have to strip himself to stay in character!
>Going to Comic-Con
Good god, when will it end?
I don't care how well you write, from what little you've written you might be very good. but please, find something else to write about. This genre of ordinary-kid-that-looks-like-something-he's-not-gets-magically-dragged-into-Equestria started being stereotyped and trite the moment it was first concieved. Please. We don't need yet another hundred thousand of the same exact thing. Put your talents to use on something interesting.
5996076
I know, it is kind of being stereotyped too much, but I made it so I could have crossovers with another authors. I like many of the displaced and so I made this story so I could make a crossover with them.
I have three stories I want to write, not displaced mind you. But I want to finish something first before starting another project
P.S. Right now I 'want' to write about another three different type of stories, a HiE, a crossover(not displaced) and one about a normal pony.
But as I said, I want to finish this before making another story :D
The war scene was amazing. I got to say that the fight was great and watching Grey kicking ass was entertaining. The war was also dramatic as you managed to establish that noble causes don't prevent innocents like Lance from dying. Thanks for the chapter. I hope the next one comes soon.
Is our protagonist an imbecile?
5997843
He was only there for two years at the time(time line is pretty much confusing, I know), add that he doesn't necessary know the basics and have to deal with being the caretaker of the town aaand while being around Luna and Celestia, spending time with many of the citizens like Lance, Starswirl, and Quake at the time, maybe others who would enter later on the story.
He is more concentrated on 'helping' around more than 'training an ability that he will or not will use'. Time moves fast ma friend :D
Then there is the training as guard, in which the unicorns doesn't understand how Gray is magic works. It let him with so little free time to 'train' his abilities.
After all...
I expect to have shared some light upon the fog of confusion... I believe it was something like that... meh
P.S. Dang I didn't saw that one! Thanks bro! Gonna put it right!
P.S.S. Oh I edit this, sorry, I kind of forgot. Gray trained with the guards. That means that he could polish his abilities, but he didn't have real 'experience'. So his concentration on the battlefield was lacking. On his way in the forest his concentration was pretty much shitty for reasons that I would put on next chapter :D
5997864 Fair points I suppose, and even with that small gripe of mine I can't wait for the next chapter
And hopefully we can get out of this headache-flashback-present time-etc thing we got going on soon.
5997911
Yeah it is only one more memory chapter! Just be patient ma dear friend. It would all end soon.... okay that sounded better in my head.
5997925
I'll just uh... sit waaaay over there and wait patiently for the next chapter.
Okay check the forums for an editor, because this story has so much potential that I want it to meet, yet every fifth sentence I have to stop and translate a sentence so it makes sense.
5998503
I know, and it pains me too. I am not a professional writer and don't understand how to properly spell some phrases, not counting grammar errors.
But I will try to change that later on :D
P.S. For now this will have to do, I would try and get better man but... This is my first Finfiction after all. I would get better as time moves on... Won't I?
P.S.S Forums? I will take a look at them when I reach my home, at the moment I have just finish a god like exam that took 'THREE HOURS' of my life! and it was psicology man. Da hell is wrong with the school these days!? Why do I talk like my grandpa?
...
I am getting to old for this shit.
But I promise once I get home I will look at the forums and then for all of u who deserve it, would edit the god damn story to make it more... Understable? Yeah, that
5998588
Exactly
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/051/708/447px-Manlytears3.jpg
other than this is like flash back the story. it's awesome TT^TT
5998503
...
Where are the forums?
I made it to my house, but cant find them! Help! 
5999781 They are under groups, or you could search for a group of editors. Beyond that, I have no real experience with the thread system on here, so past that, I am no help.
5999809
FOUND IT!
...
How the hell did I miss that!?
P.S. Thanks bro xD
.......*sniff*
..BWAHAHAHAWHWAWAWAAAAAAAAAAAA 
Beautiful chapter. At least that's what I wanted to say but the typos got so damn grating that I could hardly enjoy it. I mean, I understood what you were trying to say here, but only after some mental gymnastics. Really needs an editor ASAP.
I'll see about getting back following this story after it has been edited. As it is now you are very likely to lose readers, who would otherwise enjoy this, simply due to the grammar mistakes. The whole chapter is riddled with typos and clearly wrong tenses.
Sorry if I seem like an asshole, but this really could be such a great story if you actually got the typos fixed. This story has such great promise but it's ruined by the barely readable execution.
EDIT: I think there at least used to be group dedicated to finding editors for new authors. Looking for editor or something like that. I recommend trying to find that too.
6002966
Yeah, maybe I should put it on hiatus till I find one. Cause really, even I am confuse on some lines xD
P.S. Being an asshole? Man 'I' know that the way I phrased some parts are FAR inentendible. /) you are cool! :D
P.S.S.S I am already searching for one in the Editors's group. For now thought we would have to wait S:
6003212 Yeah, don't get me wrong. I like the concept and the direction you seem to be taking this and some of your ideas seem outright brilliant. It's just that, you have some trouble serious with the execution.
A good example would be the difference between death (which you used quite a lot) and dead (which you should have used in almost every one of those cases).
I'm I correct in assuming that English isn't your first or even second language?
6003235
Fifth actually, I am from Paraguay... Español latino :D and Guarani where are my two most used languages.
Then there is Portuguese and Italian.
I Learn English when I was thirteen years old. Was sent to live with my other uncle in Virginia(USA :D)
By the time I could understand most parts of the English grammar and pronunciations... well if 'Whit' and 'Woutndlt' where words... okay one is a word but it means a totally different thing than 'with'
Of course... ps3 and ps2 where the ones that helped me understand a little bit of English /) *those games with subtitles did the trick yay!*
During my one year stay, I got a better understanding on the words, but I continue with my inability to write phrases, or well I could but with a total of 90% or something grammar errors :D
Then during my sixteen year I saw mlp(just the show) and got hooked, after another year I found that it got a fandom in deviantart! I was hooker in stories from that place and one day a friend show me fimfiction...
Well my point it... my English is bad and I should be bad, but I want to write stories. I would try and... fix? yeah fix some parts on chapter fourth. Wish me luck :D
P.S. And that is how I got lost in Florencia for three days!! oh... wait... that is another story for another... oh well!
P.S.S. For now, and criticism isn't necessary being a bad person :D
P.S.S.S
P.S.S.S.S. I think the bug of the P.S. bite me... I cant seem to stop doing it....
6003235
Oh yeah I forgot that death and dead are different... ouch xD
6003420 Learning five languages is already quite a respactable feat. I can't even deal with three properly, but you have actually managed to study five. I have to bow to that.
6005602
It isn't hard when you are bored outa your mind. Did that rhyme? Oh well.
Thanks man, but even so, I can speak and read the lenguage yet my coordination or writing left much to say :P
lets see if its bad enough to turn me into temp grammar nazi
nope
this isnt unreadable just full of spelling issues and wrong tense causing grammar errors everywhere
then theres normal grammatical errors as well but my writing isnt much better grammar wise
5996076 you dont like the genre thats fine dont read it and certainly dont make a comment about your dislike for said genre