• Member Since 1st Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen March 31st

Wand3r3r3


Our minds bend and our fingers fold. Entwined, we dream . . . I know.

Comments ( 45 )

7729645 Thanks :p So, you liked it?

Holy cow, this is dark as hell! It's so horrific to me yet I must continue with a morbid curiosity now.

7729871 Hehe, that's what I was going for! I hope it haunts you long after you read it >:3

Good lord, this was quite shocking to me.

7730051
I can only hope I don't have a nightmare about this now. I haven't had one in a while where I suddenly move and while awake sit there shocked. But I said I would read it and I follow through my word.

I should of read a comedy first, freaking hell.

Nevertheless this is a significant improvement in your writing style. You certainly have a way to describe detail.

7730182 Well, give about half of that credit to my proofreader. Jeezus, he worked his ass off for me~

Thank you VERY very much! I think this all mainly came from me being out on my own, finally, and generally being more confident in myself, and damn happy, too. Comments like these do indeed boost my confidence as well. Thank you again ^w^

7730212
He did a good job, and you did too setting out this story. It was to-the-point before it was too long and now I know why mannequins are creepy as hell. There's even a Skyrim mod for creepy mannequins, geez.

Oh great I'm imaging the potential fan art now. What a vivid imagination. This reminded me of Lord of the Flies in some way.

7730221 What the heck? What enemies are they supposed to be? :3

She opened the door again and she head out to greet the stallion.

Should be headed.

"It is little personal though what I need help with."

Probably be "is a little personal"

By this time, It was late in the afternoon.

The I doesn't need to be capital

leading to the door, full of a verity of flowers that were mostly roses.

I believe you meant variety :twilightsmile:

Rarity even looked in the filly's room, but she found no sign of the anyone.

"no sign of anyone"

She didn't say breathe a single word.

Either say or breathe; only one is needed.

like she were a teenager sneaking in after a night out.

"she was a teenager..."

With Its tall slender stature,

The I doesn't need capitalization.

attempting to comforted herself She grew to be panicked.

I think there should be a period between herself and she.


Those were all the ones I could find in this chapter. Very chilling, by the way!

7730227
That's the thing, the mannequins in the Skyrim mod are not even enemies. And they.. multiply.

7730298 Working on it right now ^3^
7730299 Oh man... They just get in the way?

but her magic wasn't materializing any effect.

Either "wasn't materializing" or "wasn't having any effect" would work

but she seemed to find her around

"find her way..." I believe

she quite grateful for.

"she was quite grateful for."

her face, to that of an disciplined

"that of a disciplined..."

The crying and did not stop her,

Might have forgotten something there, or you could just take out the and

one she could have never possibly imagine before now.

It would be "imagined"


All I found in that chapter. You really know how to make things intense to a gut-wrenching point. Great job!

7730402 You read fast ^.^ Awesome~

7730298 I should have caught that/those. I hate me. :fluttershyouch:

7730684 I do know that I left a few of those there, too. Like, I attempted to change stuff, but I left even more mistakes. Then fixed more, then left more, then fixed them all with yours and his and other people's help.

7730689 Doesn't make me feel better.:fluttercry:

7730692 Relaaaaax, bruh ^w^:x:trixie:

7730221 Also, I would love fan-art. I've only ever received one piece of fan-art for my story 'R.E.A.R., and I still treasure it to this day ^w^

7730528
I loved it! It was creepy, spooky, and awesome! I hated that rose was blamed.:fluttercry:

7732402 And the weird thing is that Roseluck in [one of two of] my absolute favorite character. But I wanted to how my appreciation for her...in a dark way, with this being a horror story and all.

I'm SO glad to hear that you liked it~

I'm going to be honest: I have no idea what I just read. It was certainly creepy but if there's some thread connecting everything then I'm failing to follow it.

7740873 You know, I thought about that before... I should really make a blog post or something with an actual explanation. Thanks! ^w^

Wanderer. I applaud you. This made me so happy, and truly did me right in the dark section of stories. I'm so intrigued, and I'm very excited.

As before, with best regards, thank you for this wonderful chapter. I will continue.

7764073 Oh, you're not even finished with it, and you have this much to say?? I knew this would be a great story, but daaamn. :D

Thank you very very much!! That means soooo much to me!!

I cried. This was so gloriously gory. It's might be just the next great horror.

So... In a way this set off a series of events that caused the other five to become corrupt?

7764909 I'm hoping for that, for sure!
7764916 [for your other comment]—Yes, but of course, I didn't include many details going into that, as I meant for it to be up to the readers' own interpretations, with how they've just read such a gruesome end to two beloved sisters.

Also, if you like it so much, feel free to tell your friends about it and/or link them to it! ^3^

7765025 I sure will man. This was was of your best ever, and honestly I really think that this shadows a lot of the other stories I've read. Gravy bravey.

7765536 See? I knew you'd love it ;3

the legs on each side standing on her bed

As opposed to...the ceiling?

But somehow, when you're here, you always make my day, if you hadn't already figured that out.

38.media.tumblr.com/0e543a28a292c6e390dbe89a5cb55b8f/tumblr_n5togoWhNL1smcbm7o1_400.gif

then glanced over her shoulder only to see the pony-quin again, and much closer this time, with the counter being the only thing that separated them.

media.giphy.com/media/QfV28l4yMGmvS/giphy.gif

"You had your chance to redeem yourself."

:raritycry: "Chance?! You followed me around like a weeping angel and spouted nonsense about a game without explaining anything! How's that a chance for anything?!"

Casting a tall shadow that reached her was the pony-quin, standing motionless with the light at its back

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"Are you eager to see my next piece?"

:raritywink: "No, but are you eager to see mine, darling? I call it 'Telekinetically Drag Monstrosity to Twilight for Instant Obliteration'

"You could have prevented this if you had just listened."

To what?! Being cryptic isn't the same thing as being scary you stupid dress stand all it does is make you increasingly frustrating!

"Hm?" This is beauty, Rarity. Just gaze at my mastery. The beauty! But now all I need is constructive criticism. Yours."

:raritydespair: "Are...are you trying to turn me into a serial killer? Because I swear to Celestia I'll go Jason Voorhees on your collective asses"

"Do you really know who you are, Rarity?"

:raritydespair: "I'm already a serial killer aren't I?"

8037060 I realize there were still a lot of weird things that slipped through my days spent editing this, but nothing's perfect, right? :3

I appreciate your time reading this~:heart: At least I had left a few things behind, good or bad.

Comment posted by fanreader999999 deleted Jul 15th, 2019

9729647 Now, if you'd be so kind as to enlighten me...care to tell me why you think that, exactly?

Looking at how young you are here, I'd say I already know why :p

Comment posted by fanreader999999 deleted Jul 15th, 2019

9730273
So why are you haggling me, dude? I don't think either of us really need this

If you really have something to say to me, don't say it here: look up Wand3r3r3#3569 on Discord instead

9730273
Lmao. Talkin' shit about a story and refuses to say why. Sounds like someone is salty. I can see why you were b&. Maybe you should be less abrasive for no reason.

9732073
I did, in person. Lmfao

Edit: Aww, deleted your salt like a big-big man.

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