I Need To Say Something
With a groan, Rainbow Dash pried her eyes open and sat up in her cloud bed. She didn’t get much sleep the other night due to her nerves. Climbing out bed, she looked to her calendar. Sure enough, it was the day she was both looking forward to and dreaded.
Hearts and Hooves Day.
This was the day where ponies all over Equestria got together with their special someponies. And Rainbow Dash was surprisingly no exception. Yes, Rainbow Dash who seemed to be ‘too cool’ for romance had a special somepony. What made her special somepony extra special was because it was somepony Rainbow Dash knew since she was a filly: her best-friend-turned-marefriend Fluttershy.
Unfortunately, the prospect of what Rainbow Dash intended to bring up to her marefriend was what had her on edge. Trotting into the bathroom, she filled the sink with water which she proceeded to splash on her face as she looked herself in the mirror.
“Okay, get a grip, Rainbow.” She said to her reflection. “You’re blowing this out of proportion. Fluttershy won’t react negatively to what you tell her. She isn’t like that.” Those words seemed to help Dash calm down, but only for a moment. “On the other hoof, she does have a tendency to overreact to even the smallest things, so what if this is one of them?” She shook her head of those thoughts. “Pony up, Rainbow Dash!” She shouted at her reflection. “You’re one of the bravest ponies in Equestria and you’re going to let something like this get to you?! No way!” She turned away from the mirror, her regular confidence restored. “I’m going through with this and nothing is going to stop me!”
With that, she climbed into the shower and activated the cloud head. While she wasn’t one to shy away from personal hygiene, she put extra effort into getting clean for this night.
Her shower done, she went back to her bedroom to get her dress. For this evening, she and Fluttershy had decided to wear the outfits they had worn at the Grand Galloping Gala.
After slipping into her outfit, she fixed up her mane in the same manner it was the night of the Gala. Rainbow Dash then looked herself over in the bedroom mirror.
“Alright, we’re good to go.” She said satisfied.
With that, she departed her cloud house for Fluttershy’s cottage.
It didn’t take her long to arrive at her destination. Trotting up to the front door, she hesitated a moment before knocking.
“Okay, Rainbow.” She thought to herself. “This is it. No turning back now. Come on, you can do this.”
Working up her nerve, Dash raised her hoof and knocked.
“I’ll be right there, Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy called from inside.
Dash didn’t have long to wait before the door opened and Fluttershy stepped out in her Gala dress. Rainbow Dash was amazed at the sight before her. True, she had seen Fluttershy in her Gala outfit before, but that time was nothing like this. It appeared that Fluttershy had decided to go all out while getting ready. She had her mane done up in a fancy manner and she had applied some eyeshadow that perfectly complicated the shade of her eyes. Needless to say, Rainbow Dash was speechless.
“Wow, Fluttershy.” She said when she finally found her voice. “You look great.”
“Thanks.” Fluttershy blushed “You look nice, too.”
Smiling at each other, the two shared a sweet kiss before Rainbow said “Well then, shall we be off?”
Nodding, Fluttershy followed her marefriend into town.
As they walked through town, they saw other couples cuddling under trees, snuggling as they walked, and, of course, kissing.
Much to Fluttershy's surprise, their destination was Garcone's, the fanciest restaurant in Ponyville.
“Oh, my, Rainbow.” She squeaked. “This place is rather exquisite. How did you get reservations?”
“Rarity knows a guy here.” Dash replied as she led the way inside.
It seemed that Hearts and Hooves Day was a busy day for the restaurant. It was full to bursting with couples. Rainbow could’ve sworn she caught sight of Lyra and Bon Bon somewhere, and in a corner, she saw what appeared to be Derpy with Doctor Hooves.
It didn’t take long for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy to be shown to their table and given a menu. After looking over them for a few minutes, they were approached by a waiter.
“Hello, Madams.” He said to the pair. “May I take your order?”
“Yes.” Rainbow said after thinking. “I’ll have the rutabaga and mushroom salad.”
“I’ll have a carrot, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.” Fluttershy said in her soft voice.
“Very good.” The waiter said as he wrote the orders down with his magic. “They should be here in ten minutes.” He then left, leaving the couple to themselves.
“Okay.” Rainbow Dash thought to herself. “So far so good. Now is a good time for me to mention it.” Dash made to her open her mouth, but closed it just as quickly. “No. I can’t do it. Not yet”
Instead, Rainbow Dash decided to bring up a different topic.
“So, Fluttershy,” She asked tentatively. “Enjoying yourself?”
“Yes.” Fluttershy nodded. “I’m having a really nice time.”
“Well, that’s great.” Rainbow said with a wide smile before thinking about something. “I wonder what the others are up to?”
“Well, I think Twilight said something about working up the courage to speak to that stallion she met in the Crystal Empire.” Fluttershy replied.
“Yeah?” Rainbow asked curiously. “Well, here’s hoping she succeeds. That bookworm really needs a coltfriend. Anything else?”
“Well, I believe I heard something about Spike planning to ask Rarity out on a date.”
Rainbow Dash laughed. “I wonder how long it’ll be till that works out? What’s the betting pool up to now?”
“Fifty five bits.” Fluttershy said as their orders came. “I really hope they get together today.”
“Because it’s Hearts and Hooves Day?” Rainbow Dash asked as she dug into her salad.
“That and I have today down in the betting pool.” Fluttershy joked as she picked up her sandwich.
Rainbow had to hold in her laugh so as to not choke on her salad.
“Oh, and there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Fluttershy whispered.
“What?” Dash asked.
“Well, I recently had a talk with Discord.”
“What about him?” Rainbow asked nastily. She was quite jealous of how close that spirit had gotten to her marefriend.
“Now, Rainbow, relax.” Fluttershy said, detecting her marefriend’s jealousy. “There’s nothing going on between us. In fact, Discord told me he’s got a crush.”
Dash’s jaw fell open, causing her mouthful of salad to fall out. “You’re kidding!”
Fluttershy shook her head. “Nope. He told me himself. He’s head over heels. Literally. He told me while flipping in midair.”
“No fooling?” Rainbow giggled. “Well then, who’s the mare that has captured the Lord of Chaos’s heart?”
Looking around to make sure nopony was listening in, Fluttershy moved in and whispered into Dash’s ear.
In an instant, Rainbow was laughing out loud.
“Princess Celestia?!” She cried through laughter. “Oh, man! How in the world did that happen?! I mean, that’s the most unlikely match anypony could think of!”
“Rainbow. Shush.” Fluttershy whispered. “Discord told me in confidence. Besides, you might get us thrown out.”
Still giggling, Rainbow stuttered “S-Sorry” before the two went back to their meals.
After finishing their meals and paying the bill, which Rainbow complained was too much, the two made their way out of the restaurant.
“So, what do you want to do now?” Fluttershy asked.
Rainbow thought for a moment before coming up with something. “How about a walk in the park?”
Fluttershy smiled. “I’d like that.”
The couple made their way to the park and walked along the path until coming to the lake where they stopped and sat on grass.
“Isn’t this a wonderful night, Rainbow?” Fluttershy sighed as she laid her head on her marefriend’s shoulder.
“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash replied, though her thoughts were far away from the moment.
“Okay, Rainbow, old girl, now’s as good a time as any. But what if Fluttershy doesn’t like it? What if I lose her forever? No! Stop thinking like that Rainbow! You’re Rainbow Dash! You’ve faced down tougher challenges than this! You can do this!”
“F-Fluttershy?” She said outloud.
“Yes, Rainbow?” Fluttershy asked while turning to her marefriend, causing Dash to be lost in Fluttershy’s eyes before getting back to the matter at hoof.
“I need to talk to you about something.”
“What is it?”
“It’s about…us.”
“What about us?” Fluttershy asked curiously.
“Fluttershy, you know that you mean a lot to me right? Before you became my marefriend, you were my very first friend. And I have to say that ever since we started dating, I’ve felt happier around you more than ever before.”
“What are you getting at, Rainbow?” Fluttershy asked.
Dash sighed. “Sorry, I’m rambling. The point is, you’re the most important pony in my life. I…I love you. And I can’t imagine my life without you in it. In fact…I don’t want to.”
“Well, that’s very sweet, Rainbow.” Fluttershy smiled. “I get the feeling we’ll be marefriends for a long time.”
“No.” Rainbow shook her head. “That doesn’t work for me.”
Fluttershy gasped as her eyes became teary and glossy. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“What?!” Dash cried. “No! Of course not! Didn’t you hear me? I just said that I don’t want to live my life without you, even when I finally join the Wonderbolts.”
“But you just said us being marefriends doesn’t work for you.” Fluttershy said confused.
“That’s cause I’m thinking of something more permanent.” Rainbow Dash answered. With that, she put her hoof under her wing and pulled out a small box. Fluttershy was confused at first, until she saw Rainbow get down on one hoof and open the box, revealing an elegant hoofband with a jeweled butterfly in the setting, its wings all the colors of the rainbow. Covering her mouth with her hooves, Fluttershy held her breath and looked up to Rainbow Dash, where she could see the passion in her eyes clear as day.
“Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash said slowly. “Will you marry me?”
Tears welled up in Fluttershy’s eyes, causing Rainbow to think she had blown her future with the mare she loved. That is, until she saw a smile appear on Fluttershy’s face and she gave her answer.
“Yes.”
“Yes?!” Rainbow asked excitedly.
“Yes!” Fluttershy cried as she threw her hooves around her marefriend and kissed her with more passion than they ever used before. In an instant, Rainbow Dash returned the kiss and hug, feeling more happiness in her heart than ever before. Eventually they parted, a line of saliva connecting their mouths.
Smiling, Rainbow Dash took the hoofband from the box and placed it on Fluttershy’s left hoof.
“It looks good on you.” Rainbow smiled as she admired her new fiancée’s new accessory.
“It’s beautiful, Rainbow.” Fluttershy said as she stared at the band before looking into her love’s magenta eyes. “And so are you.”
“Please,” Rainbow Dash said dismissively. “If anypony’s beautiful, it’s you.” This caused Fluttershy to blush. “What do you say to a flight around town?”
Smiling, Fluttershy nodded before following Dash into the sky.
The two flew through the air for hours at a slow romantic pace, just enjoying each other’s company. Eventually, they arrived back at Fluttershy’s cottage where they shared another passionate kiss.
“Well, Flutters,” Rainbow said as they parted. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow. Our friends are in for a big surprise. Something tells me we can expect an engagement party from Pinkie Pie in the future. Well, anyway, see ya in the morning, Shy.”
She then turned to go, only to be stopped by a hoof on her shoulder.
“Wait.” Fluttershy spoke. Rainbow turned and she could almost see the pleading in her eyes.
“Could you please stay?” Fluttershy asked. “I’d like for you to come in so we can celebrate our engagement.”
“Celebrate our engagement?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Couldn’t we do that with our friends tomorrow? I mean, how exactly are we supposed to…” She stopped as a thought came to her and turned to Fluttershy who had an uncharacteristically sly grin on her face. “Why, Fluttershy,” Rainbow said with surprise as she caught on to what was being implied. “I didn’t know you thought about those things.”
Fluttershy giggled before running a hoof up Rainbow’s leg. “Only with you.”
With a goofy grin on her face, Rainbow Dash followed her fiancée into the cottage before they closed the door, making sure it was double locked.
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Aww...
so sweet
so cute
i like
best-friend-turned-marefriend, Fluttershy.
Question mark.
Cute. Short, for sure, but cute. I liked it.
I was going to tell you about an awesome FlutterDash proposal story, but I don't want to ruin the surprise.
5618285
Not even a name?
Wait, you mean it isn't done yet?
This was okay... but it definitely could have been longer. Instead, it's like you took a shortcut through everything. Flesh out the entire day of Hearts and Hooves. It would have done your story a lot of good to expand. I like the premise but rushing it like this does it no good. For example, have them do more on Hearts and Hooves. You can show more of Rainbow Dash's anxiousness on whether or not she should propose, whether she feels ready for this, and if Fluttershy wants to move on with their relationship to this level.
Moving on to the writing itself, you were always vague with details and that really hurts your work. For example, you do very little to describe how Rainbow Dash fixes herself up, and what Fluttershy looks like. And then there's the "fancy" restaurant. Don't just tell us it's fancy! Show!
5618367 nothing is done yet! I'm way too lazy for anything to be done!
5618507 But you said there was a surprise and it was gonna be awesome! What are you planning?!
5618541 I'm planning on finishing a story I'm writing. No further comment.
5618661 Take your time.
But get it done!
If that's okay with you.
And make it awesome!
Please?
Thanks!
5618738 eventually. I may need to rewrite it.
5618384
Looking back, I realize I could've expanded on details, unfortunately, I didn't think about that when I was writing. Also, I wanted this to be mainly Rainbow Dash's point of view hence why we didn't see Fluttershy's indecisiveness when she accepted. Still, glad you like the premise of the story. It's very original since while we see a lot of FlutterDash stories were they're either dating or married, there aren't that many involving a proposal and the wedding.
Hold the phone, were they planning to MAKE OUT?
5619315 It's important for your readers to be able to picture whats going on. What I mean is Rainbow Dash would worry about: how she herself feels about it, how Fluttershy would feel, and if she is ready as well. It's a very real conflict for sure though. As a writer, it is tempting to tell not show when you should flesh out details.
One of the oldest actually involves that, though I don't think it was even on this site.
5619912
Think further.
>>Eddy13 Oh my Lord...
Dawww,so sweetand cute! I think you broke somehting in me!
D'aaaawww! I really enjoyed this story! It was just the perfect length, and I feel you did a good job expressing the characters. I'll definitely be reading more of your stories now. Well done!
5655569
Funny, super3rainbow1 thought it should've been longer and that I should've delved deeper into the characters. Oh, well, I guess everyone's got their own opinion. Anyway, glad you liked the story and that you're keeping an eye out for my stories. Hope you like them!
Eh.
This was certainly not bad, but...
Too short. That's the killer here. There's a bit of a lack of detail, and adding in said detail knocks out two birds with one stone.
I know this has been said a thousand times, but Show, don't Tell.
Don't get me wrong, it was still very cute!
~ Wywint
Nice story :).
You might consider adding in breaks - i.e. *** between different scenes to slow the pacing down a bit.
I think it would really make the story read in a more dramatic way.
Also, I'm guessing every here knows what RD and Flutter's Gala outfits look like,
but it would have been nice to have a short description of them anyway.
Welled up.
BEAUTIFUL! BEAUTIFUL!
So Sweet!
I think you mean "she had applied some eyeshadow that perfectly complimented the shade of her eyes"
especially the ending.
but I could be wrong
Other than a few grammatical errors, I give this my like, with how adorable it is
I cant stop dawwing over this! Bravo!
6047253
Then you should be excited to know that I'm currently starting the first chapter of the sequel which involves the wedding. Let's just say that compared to what our favorite pegasi pair will have to deal with, Shining Armor and Cadence getting to the altar will look like cake (but not wedding cake).
6047292 AWESOME!!!!
Really nice and cute little story
I can imagine a Flutterdash proposal playing out much like this. Good work!
I'm looking forward to reading about the wedding. How's progress on it?
6353577
I actually fell behind on it, but I intend to get the first chapter of it out eventually.
It gets really spicy at the end, oh my...
Angel and the critters must be struggling to sleep that night, huh?
I think you mean complimented, if not then complicating the shade of your eyes doesn’t seem like a good thing.
NO!
HELL NAH!
AND I DON’T!
Okay, this one is fine.
Eep
! Okay, let’s move on!
This story was cute, but it’s very short.
Rainbow Dash seems to be delivering an entire monologue out-loud in the beginning, which is not something you normally do. You had three different ships jump out at us in five or so lines with no relevance to the plot, so if you wanted them there maybe space them out a bit.
And that ending, that ending escalated very quickly...
This gets an OKAY!