• Member Since 29th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen January 23rd

Wonder


Sometimes I like to just sit down and do nothing. Alright fine, all the time.

Sequels1

E

Twilight is practising a new spell and Spike unintentionally breaks her concentration, and now has to deal with the consequences of this.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 21 )

:raritywink: I always needed a good male box.
:moustache: I'm demoted to junk mail delivery .
:twilightblush: At least he's a UPS shipping box.
:applecry::unsuresweetie::scootangel: He's not shipped like FedEx?

If only the mail box was a girl, then it would be the perfect match!

5674173
...way too many puns that I'm gonna have to the use.

5674259
Your going to let be The surprise.

SEQUEL!!!!!!

Twilight shout

It should be Shouted.

he called, looking over to the kitchen."

The " isn't necessary there since it's not part of a dialogue.

"Oh, Spike there you are. Spike, could stay out of the library today, I'm going to be practicing a new spe-" pike disappeared instantly,Spike closed the door behind him, and wiped the sweat from his brow.

Pike instead of Spike. You then repeat his name again and the comma isn't separated.

Dude, she's a mail mare, your a mail box

You're.

Rarity had just finished attaching the large gem to the neck, above the sternum, when Spike arrive.

Arrived.

Spike could have sword he felt the letter getting hot in his hands.

Don't you mean "Sworn?"

Twilight followed the spell, but her eyes could keep up

I think that you meant "Couldn't keep up" there.

What the mail box saw was another poor soul, doom to live his live, cursed by Twilight Sparkle.

Doomed and life.

so on the way he had stumbled a few time

Missed an "s" over there.

I thought Pinkie of all people would recognise me.
People?

Her smiled was infectious and Spike let out a small chuckle.

The d in smiled shouldn't be there

I had a suit a while ago, but it doesn't fit me t the moment

The extra t, I think that it was originally "At"

Finally she walk in front of him and threw the tape around...

Walked.

Rarity was in her workshop with Sweetie Belle, making a new dress for one of her clients, while idly talking to her sister. "So what dd you two get up to?"

Dd. Did you want to write "Did"?
And, some commas which were either missing or extra.

Now that I got that out of the way, I think that the fic was good! :pinkiesmile:
I enjoyed reading it but I won't add it to my favorites, not only because of... you know :ajsmug:
And, sorry if I sounded rude with the corrections or if I wasn't clear :applejackunsure:

5800635
This is why I like you. Thanks for pointing out the mistakes.
But I cannot be forgiven for using the word 'people'. I am ashamed. :ajsleepy:
And I don't think helping people with their mistakes is rude. But is was a bit tricky to find the errors... until I remembers ctrl+F.

5790081
Don't worry, I already got a picture found for it s it's written in stone. There will be a sequel. Eventually. So make sure you follow me to find out when it is released.

5800996 That's why I used quotes, to make them easier to find :twilightsmile:

That mailbox tho'

"That you for the apology, but I have learned to deal with that. I was talking about my present, where is it. You promised that whenever you would come her you would bring me a present." Spike face clawed.

"Sorry Rarity, I forgot to get something, I was just in hurry."

... Wut. :twilightoops:

Sorry, Spike. In order to spend time with Rarity you're going to have to first also give her things every time you come to meet with her.

Is this... actually complete? It says complete but the story doesn't seem concluded.

6225686
Mistakes were made. :ajsleepy:
And who said there wasn't going to be a sequel? :ajsmug:

6225686
I fixed that part up a bit. Now it makes some sense. Some.

6226409
Not that you needed to change it, it didn't not make sense, it was just... bad for Spike, and sorta... out of character for Generosity to be asking for gifts from someone regularly to justify his company, but I don't see any changes to the beginning of the first scene with Rarity.

6226546
I only change the part that didn't make sense. Im too lazy to do a full scene change. Also rarity can be very greedy at times, remember. She kinda tricked spike into giving her a giant ruby.:derpytongue2:

I'm just distracted by poor Hapless' fate... dude is more of a buttmonkey than Spike was. Still, nice story. I'll keep my eyes open for a sequel if you decide to do one. Sweetie's crush was adorable too. And Spike's reaction to the kiss. Cousin Spike needs to come back and visit more :rainbowlaugh:

...Too distracted by the mailbox pony. Poor guy.

Sweetie leaped from her desk and ran to hug Twilight. "Hey Twilight! Good news. I've been practising those spells you taught me and I almost got the arcane luminescent spell mastered." She broke from the hug.

"That's great, so glad I have such an assiduous student." Sweetie didn't understand what she meant but just nodded in agreement.

Hmm... What DOES that mean? (google search...)

as·sid·u·ous
əˈsijo͞oəs/
adjective
adjective: assiduous

showing great care and perseverance.
"she was assiduous in pointing out every feature"

Ah. Nice use of words! :twilightsmile:

6677160
I'm going to be completely honest. I actually used a thesaurus for the word intelligent. I cheated a bit. :twilightblush:

"Bro, don't worry. She'll find a counter spell eventually. Just give her time. Look on the bright side, at least now you get to talk that that mail mare everyday."

"Yeah, she is nice, isn't she?"

"You bet, maybe you should ask her on a date, I think she likes you."

"You think so?" If wood could blush, the mail box would have caught fire.

Funny thing, I can actually see this happening. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Rarity tutted. "We can't have that dear, we will just have to find another way for you to make me happy." Rarity pointed over to a pile of mismatched fabrics. "You could sort those out for me."

Element of Generosity, everyone. *Ding*

"She adjusted the tape. "You don't have anywhere to stay? You know, if you ask my sister, she might let you stay here for the night." Sweetie Belle leaned in, staring right into Spike's eyes. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind." I am so screwed. Spike tried to think of a way out of this, but his brain was on panic mode.

"Uh?" Was all he could say.

"If you're to shy to ask, I could ask for you." She gave an angelic smile, leaning in even further so that they were only inches apart. "Maybe we could have a sleep over, just you and me." I am so dead. Spike tried to lean away from Sweetie Belle, but she used the measuring tape around his neck to pull him even closer, so that their muzzles were practically touching. Spike didn't know why, but all of a sudden Sweetie leaned and pressed her lips against his. Her lips were warm and as smooth as silk. He could have died then and content with his life. They stayed like this for several seconds before they broke apart to breathe.

:twilightoops:*POMF!*
:facehoof: Dangit!

"His cutie mark. It was so. Strange. I just can't imagine what it could represent. What could a burning scroll mean?"

Rarity took a pause from her work to think about this. "Maybe his talent is disposing of old scrolls." She shrugged. "I see what you mean. It is a vague cutie mark. You'll have to ask him next time you see him."

Wow... really? Just... really? :facehoof::rainbowlaugh:

This was enjoyable, and a nice read. Some missing words, but nothing that I can remember by the end. Good work. :twilightsmile:

This is really good!

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