• Member Since 29th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen August 8th

Wonder


Sometimes I like to just sit down and do nothing. Alright fine, all the time.

T

Luna has been wanting to have her own personal guard for a long time, and at long last she finally has one. But maybe she should have thought more before choosing her guard. Now she has to deal with what comes next.

A fair amount of sexual references. Just so you know.

OMG-FEATURED!!! =[^-^]= -1/08/2015
-1/11/2015 (Why is it always on the first?)

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 183 )

5975570
So happy you let Luna have her guard. :twilightsmile:

5975705 But i couldn't see her adorable little face frown! Especially after those one thousand years. She WILL however need to stop wrecking the palace! :P

MOOOOOREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

So personal guards are like pets to royals... Breeze thinks she's going to get laid, but it sounds like she's more likely going to end up with a collar and tags...

Celestia rolled here eyes -> Celestia rolled her eyes

"This is so unfair. Why do you get one and not me." -> "This is so unfair. Why do you get one and not me?"

"What if I choose one from the royal guard. Then it won't have to be trained." -> "What if I choose one from the royal guard? Then it won't have to be trained."

She nuzzles her sisters neck -> She nuzzles her sister's neck

Celestia chuckled before walking of to the kitchens -> Celestia chuckled before walking off to the kitchens

So when the from door exploded off it's hinges -> So when the front door exploded off its hinges

"Oh, your cute." -> "Oh, you're cute."

half of the mares their -> half of the mares there


and a couple more.

5977812
Oops :derpytongue2:
Didn't see those. That's the problem with editing my own stuff. My brain knows what is meant to be their and fills the gaps. :ajsleepy:

if it has batponies as the main char, Imma read it!

5978100 You can edit your stuff after plenty of practice. I'd say check out my stuff to see what I mean, but I don't want to plug.

BTW, My brain knows what is meant to be their there and fills the gaps. :pinkiesmile:

Hehehe this made me laugh! Take my watch and likes!

5978296
My brain is weird. :derpytongue2:
Anyway, thank you for the feedback. Hope to hear from you in future stories.

Oh this looks like its going to be good.
Also found this little thingy:

With each word, Lune was holding another batpony excitedly.

You wrote Lune instead of Luna

The way they talk about it, you'd think Luna is asking for a pet dog rather than a personal guardian.

5979195
:rainbowderp:That's a big mistake.

5978903 To be honest. I haven't read the story yet, though I am planning on it. :raritywink: I just skimmed through the comments.

5979981
You don't want spoilers do you? I never read the comments until after.

5980023 I didn't pay close attention to most of them. After all, I skimmed them, not outright read all of them. :unsuresweetie:

Besides, there's only one chapter so far. If I spoiled anything that happened thus far for myself, it's not too big of a deal. Is it?

Dan

Batpony is love.

...I'm sure Breeze will have some quick thought lie to explain.
Most likely to be lelieved being, 'there were rumors of you.'

5983760
What's to say I wont make her wake up in a dungeon with leather straps around her hooves and a disgruntled princess looming over her? :pinkiecrazy:
Or maybe she will just wake up in the gutter after being thrown out of the castle. Depends on my mood.

5983762 Mostly because beyond that KO, any further situations that can be mistaken for sexual pursuit would be overkill on the joke in this type of fic.

Anyone else lol after reading this? Ive been in stitches for minutes now.

Mistakes were made. And it is hilarious! bahahaha take my like!

5985771
I will treasure your like forever.

5985507
Hehe, mission complete.

5984210
We wouldn't want Breeze doing anything illegal, would we?

:facehoof: :facehoof: :facehoof:

uuuugghhhh, alright, lets start the shenanigans. take a shot for every one from here on out. :ajsmug:

Ohhhhhhh dear... this is gonna go down like a tonne of those rectangular building thingees

:applejackconfused: Good god, this is only the second chapter and I'm already almost done with the bottle. I could quite possibly die from alcohol poisoning by the end of this story. :applejackconfused:

Insert laughter here (i can't find a good video)

5987043
Rectangular building thingies....hmm. Oh I know! Fish! No that doesn't sound right.

5987054
Don't think anyone could afford enough alcohol to last this story.

If I have to guess at what the Bat pony is going to dream about... It's going to be Luna, but not in the light that Luna herself would have thought.

We have a bat pony here that made a few mistakes, but I do think she respects and loves Luna in the way that all bat ponies likely do. Now though, now she thinks/knows Luna hates her. All she is in Luna's eyes is a mistake. That's going to do a number on Breeze's mental state, and that in itself will translate into nightmares. Which I can only HOPE Luna will see.

Most of this is on Luna's head, and she needs to see that and correct it before she turns that bat pony into a husk of its former self.

So... does that mean Breezie has to be there when Luna goes potty?

Well, this chapter has put a damper on my drinking game. But then again, not all of life is sunshine and rainbows. Bit of a sobering chapter. I am wondering where you will take it from here. :trixieshiftright:

5987855
Attention everyone! Here is the perfect example of someone using a time machine irresponsibly.
5988648
:pinkiehappy:
5989398
I was scare that you would get too drunk. :fluttercry:
Don't worry. I'll try to turn the story back into a mindless mess once I sort out the issue.

5989547 Don't worry. With this kind of story, the drunker you get, the better the story gets. lol :rainbowlaugh:

keep up the good work. :rainbowdetermined2:

5989571
Then by this stage, it should be made of gold.

5989581 and by the end of it all, it will be castle made of platinum with diamond encrusted gold trimming everywhere worth quadrillions of dollars, rofl :rainbowlaugh:

Oh I like this story, so much potential for mayhem.

Ah. Its gonna be like THAT, is it? Cliche, but totally amusing.

This scenario reminds me of that Disney cartoon Brandy and Mr. Whiskers.

For some reason, I was reading the chief's voice as Eggman's from this video 18 seconds in:

Dialogue could use some fixing, but other then that this is great! 8'D
Hahahah... mmmmm, most Batpony mares eh?
Me likey 8'D
SEX JOKES FTW!

Nice job man!

Hehehehehehe, lol I love it.
breeze seemed to have made a fatal mistake 8'D
Maybe? //CACKLES

Nice job dude X'D

Oh my... this is interesting //cackles evilly

I like where this is going, LOL CAN'T STAHP!

Nice job man!

Awww, poor Breeze ;w;

Nice job yet again! This story is great, and I hope to see more soon!
Keep it up!

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