Spike accidentally break one of Twilight's telescopes, so Twilight decides to punish him. But what is the best way to punish him?
Warning: Depicts Twilight as a cruel pony. Kinda.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 29th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen Nov 25th, 2023
Wonder
Sometimes I like to just sit down and do nothing. Alright fine, all the time.
Wonder
Joined 29th Oct, 2014 ·
Offline
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Yes, just yes
Very good
5788993
hehe, thx.
A few spelling errors, but a really fun story. Poor Spike, getting pinned under Twilight's rump. XD
5789006 Your welcome
5789039
Could you please point out these errors.
5789113 This should be "mangled" not mangle.
This should be "with" not wit.
Thousand
Wow... It was all nice and funny until Twilight bucked Spike! He is just a baby after all and she could have easily broke his ribs. But it was very entertaining.
I genuinely did not find this that funny. Aside from the spelling errors the main issue is how you're showing Twilight as exercising her authority over Spike as his guardian. There's a fine line between fair punishment and outright cruelty, humiliation and physical harm. Punishment is to show the error of someone's ways, not trying to humiliate and harm for one's own amusement. Not to mention all this on a minor...
5789409
5789221
Thanks both of you. Fixed the problems and a few more.
you're
it
thought; capitalize 'how.'
As for what I thought of the story... I dunno. It was kind of meh. The story is good, but Twilight is OOC. I'm too tired right now to formulate an opinion.
I don't feel sorry for Spike, but that's only because humiliation is one of my fetishes. And humiliation at the hands of bigger, stronger females for the entertainment of a mare like Rarity? I almost wish she had seen him and joined Twilight on her scaly seat. Still, downvoting for Spike's sh***y treatment.
You don't have to search through the whole thing. Unless keyboard shortcuts are subject to regional differences, you can use CTRL + F, then type in a word or phrase and find it on a web page or word doc.
5790948
Thanks. I fixed the problems.
Yeah, I don't really do editing.
5791067
Really?! Never knew that.
You sir, are a genius.
Also, sorry about how I depicted Twilight being cruel. If it makes you feel better, that's not how I would usually write her.
5792191 Neither do I.
I edit other people's stories, but I absolutely despise editing my own so I just get people to do it for me.
5792892
I just find it strange to read a story I wrote.
5795240 Same here.
5796258
I am completely and utterly confused.
5796739 You did good
Twilight did bad
5797525
...yeah, I've been kinda regretting writing her like that. A lot of people didn't like it, so I'll probably steer clear of that.
5797607 2 words------>lesson zero
never regret a story well writen
5797636
Mind blownMind destroyed, and burried in a nuclear waste dump.Why couldn't Spike just tell Twilight that she's being a b***h?
frankly, it made me want to take that telescope and hit the mares' heads
frankly, it made me want to take that telescope and hit the mares' heads