The Mark of Eran

by Tofazz

Epilogue - Blackheart

Blackheart

Athaal opened the door to where his brother was resting.

It had been three days since they arrived in Canterlot, three days since he became a father and Saif an uncle, although Saif didn’t know it yet. It had taken the medical knowledge of every doctor in this city to save Saif, but, after time battling the fever caused by the linac bite and blood loss, he was now doing better. Well enough for visits, at least.

Entering the dull, gray room, he expected to find his brother sleeping soundly in the bed. Instead he found him standing at the end of the bedpost, struggling to put on his clothing. The light that shone through the windows as it grew to night made the white bandages that covered most of his upper body glow slightly. Newly replaced, they were white as snow upon his brown fur. From the edge of the bed to where he was standing the floor was laced with needles and long tubes, which Athaal assumed had been used on him for his treatment. Saif barely moved his head as the hoof steps sounded loudly within the room.

Athaal approached carefully. Part of him wanted to leap over and embrace his brother, but another part of him was weary, wondering what caused Saif to get out of bed.

Saif put down his clothing, admitting defeat to putting them on, and only then turned his gaze to his brother. “How is Moxie?” he asked, voice tired and strained.

Stopping next to Saif, Athaal smiled as best he could. “She’s fine. The mark has not returned, and…” He placed a hoof upon the watanï’s shoulder. “She gave birth to a beautiful filly. I’ve become a father and you an uncle.”

Saif smiled slightly, but it quickly vanished. “That’s great… have you decided a name?”

“Azrha,” Athaal simply responded with pride.

“Blue… like her,” Saif answered, his voice strained to keep his emotions culled.

Athaal halted. Saif looked out in the air, his face a stoic mask, not revealing any emotions apart from what his voice betrayed. His eyes looked like hollow ghosts of what they used to be, a blank stare looking out at nothing, past everything that was there, glimmering slightly in the scarce light. Seeing that, Athaal now realized that Saif had been awake when Stella gave her report.

“Yes… like her,” he responded, at loss to what more he could say to mend whatever wound had opened within his brother.

Saif applied part of his armor and took the rest of the clothing over his back, then made way past Athaal. “My duty is fulfilled, Athaal,” he announced without bowing.

“What?!” Athaal exclaimed in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“You are no longer a Saddle-Arabian citizen; as a gray warden you have no right for a watanï,” Saif responded in a monotone voice.

He took hold of Saif’s shoulder, forcing him to turn away from the door. “But you’re my brother. I need your help!”

Saif returned his plea with another empty stare. “I can’t…” his face remained the stoic mask it always was; trained to hide his emotions, he stared like a stone. “I can’t protect one who I blame for the death of one I loved.”

Athaal’s heart skipped a beat and sent a painful sensation through him. While his limbs tingled, blood rushed to his head, the beat upon his eardrums unbearable. “We didn’t know it would happen,” he simply explained, deep regret burning in him.

“I know you didn’t. I don’t know what happened there, nor do I want to know what caused her to die.” Saif finally turned his gaze directly at him, his features still unmoving. Where others would wince as tears came unbidden to them, he remained motionless. His eyes filled up with moisture before it ran down his cheeks like rivers of pain. “But it hurts… just thinking about going back to your wife’s side, protecting her and the foal named after Trixie. It hurts more than I can describe, Athaal. It tears me from the inside.”

Athaal retracted his hoof. He wanted to say something, perhaps to soothe his brother’s pain, but he could think of nothing. He wanted to order him to stay, but he held no power over the watanï anymore. The candles that had guided him throughout the darkness that had been this journey had vanished one by one, leaving him in the dark alone. Saif had shone the brightest, and now he vanished as well, leaving Athaal with the light of Moxie and Azrha left, and only them.

“I need to find Kazim’s other apprentices and give them the news so that his spirit may finally rest.” Saif opened the door and stopped. “I will also find Trixie’s body…”

“You’ll die in your condition. You can barely stand without sweating!” Athaal tried to reason.

“I’ll do what I must to find her,” he answered and bowed, flinching slightly before he rose again and walked out.

Athaal would probably have run after his brother, forcing him to stay with all of his strength, but the sudden goodbye left him unable to take action, even if he knew what he wanted to do. “I don’t know if I can do it without you, Saif,” he finally squeaked, knowing full well there would be no answer, for his brother was gone without any promise to return.

Author's Note:

If you have any questions about the ending, or anything for the that matter, please ask them on this blog post, or in a PM to me.

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/548865/the-mark-of-eran

Cheers!

Comments

[Legiondude]

You end it there?! Awwww

[enamis]

No. NOOOO! Why must you break my heart like this!?!?

[Metal Aura]

What a fitting ending! Saif Knows that he has nothing left to lose and is willing to give of himself one final time. I really enjoyed this ending!

[Lord Legion]

Hmmm, a bittersweet ending, not bad at all. I have thoroughly enjoyed this story.The overall plot was great from beginning to end. I think that ending was perfect. It leans more towards reality as we all know we can't have a perfect fairytail ending. It wasn't overly sad, yet not overly happy. A good medium was found. That is how I like most stories to end.

[Broman]

After finally catching up to story I am very pleased with the outcome. Despite the darkness that surrounded it I enjoyed it nonetheless. The Fate of Trixie is unknown leaving us with suspense or wanting. I'm very glad this story had a good ending, having Moxie live and bearing the foal, but it saddens me that Saif can't have the same thing. It makes wonder what might happen next in this case.

Overall this story is solid and I wish you all the best for your stories and works. Thank you for delivering an amazing story.

[Hopeless Appraisal]

So Rishad took Trixie's life for Moxie's, and who could say whether Trixie would have done it otherwise? Gosh I enjoyed this story. Thank you for a great read! I made sure I'm following you now. Please let us know where we can find your work outside this site.

[Batbrony]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, finally got around to reading these last four chapters in one sitting, and they did not disappoint. This was a wonderful read overall. Very bittersweet in the end, but wonderful all the same. A bit strange for their to be so much uncertainty in this fic's conclusion, but hey, who am I to question the artist's vision for this fic. Thank you for the great read, Tofazz, and I look forward very much to seeing what's next for Athaal, Moxie, and Azrha. Have a wonderful night!

[Spice of Life]

Hmm, pretty good. The overall story is interesting and you have some well written characters, but there was a lot that just kinda didn't work for me.

For instance, while the prologue is really well written, it kind of had no point for the story at all. While it did give a good introduction for Saif, the whole prophecy thing was just pointless. Prophecys are always annoying and take away from the feeling of that anything a character does matters, plus this one was never mentioned again in the story.

I was also dissapointed with Moxie's sickness. In the original story it was told pretty much exclusively from her perspective, but since she was sick we didn't spend much time looking through her eyes. While I like the characters of Saif and Athaal, Moxie is the one with the interesting perspective that gets abandoned half way through since shes sick and pregnant. Personally I think it would have been more interesting if Athaal was the sick one and we got to see the drama of her literally having to deal with a mans world while pregnant and trying to save him.

Speaking of mans world. I noticed that you really didn't offer much comment on the cultures. You had characters mention the difference but not really much beyond that. While I can understand that for most of the cast, even though I was really hoping Athaal would have had more uncomfortable observations when he finally got to Equestria. I was really expecting more from Trixie. After all, she would be an anathema for the society that Moxie comes from and that culture would be an anathema for her too since she likes being in charge and having all the attention in a society that would punish her for both of those based on her gender. Yet even after the priest mind blasts her and allegedly gave her more understanding of the culture, we never hear her talk about it at all.

In fact the lack of view from Trixie's perspective was a huge lost opportunity. The prologue chapter makes a big deal about Moxie's fate being determined by someone else, but in the story we never see any hesitation that would imply Trixie wouldn't help her. Even through Trixie would well be within her right to just decide to screw these ponies and take off on her own since, while they did save her, they were pretty threatening and nasty to her and blamed her for all the bad things even though none of them were her fault.

For the most part it was well written but there were a few parts that were pretty hard the follow. The one that comes to mind the most was Trixie's last words. That paragraph was really poorly done. It started with Athaal calling out to Trixie but we never get any dialog from him, instead it switches to Trixie talking, but without giving any indication that it was her. I had to reread that paragraph several times before I could tell that Athaal wasn't talking.

One thing I really liked was how you never made the linacs trivial. They were always dangerous and it never felt like one of the main characters could just deal with one. Which a lot of stories and media do, build something up as a huge danger but then our heroes just blow through them like they are nothing. But it does beg the question of how Saif managed to survive . He was knocked out and a linac was on him, unless the Equestira army was literally right around the corner he should have been meat.

[PaulAsaran]

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