Twilight0022
Joined 19th Jan, 2015 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Master Titta · 4.3k words · 53 35 · 2.6k views
- MyMan · 3.3k words · 35 18 · 1.8k views
- kingfish · 5.2k words · 90 29 · 3.7k views
- SoothingCoffee · 4.9k words · 379 58 · 14k views
- RarityEQM · 3.1k words · 127 4 · 3.3k views
- hamcon · 5.5k words · 71 20 · 1.5k views
- Davis Collus · 3.6k words · 71 39 · 2.4k views
- Master Titta · 3.5k words · 123 27 · 7k views
Featured In7
Twilight and Spike2,222 stories ·965 members
- Spike's Many Shippings3,682 stories ·1,731 members
Twispike Kingdom730 stories ·1,152 members
Masturbation Is Magic408 stories ·317 members
- erotic electrostimulation15 stories ·41 members
Hard To Find Fetishes25 stories ·90 members
Penis (and Vagina) Milking84 stories ·269 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.14 seconds
Total duration
784 users online
1,039,103 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Most of the problems you had were simple spelling and punctuation errors, which aren't hard to fix.
On the topic of the story though, what you have is pretty good for a first timer, so I say you should keep going.
With the exception of a few grammatical errors, this was pretty well written and I hope to see another chapter soon.
Quite interesting. (more interesting to read then boring humping-scenes).
electro stim? dont see a lot of this at all...its sort of a fringe fetish after all, and i must say, u left out one area of the female body to stimulate...although it is not shown in the show, various artist have put this bit of actual Equine anatomy to good use. the location of Equine mammories (aka breasts) is further down the body than on a human, specifically, Equines have a pair of udder like mammories in a similar position to bovines, only not as large and with only the single teat. this area is prime for e-stim on human females and not dangerous in the least...
5529390
now ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWA!
I've seen weirder.
I like their carefree attitude. Makes the story very enjoyable.
Whatever grammatical errors are still there, it's more decent than a lot of Spike clopfiction. Honestly, I thought I would never see a good one again! I just wish it had ended with Twilight telling Spike that he needs to "take personal responsibility" for what he just did before hauling him into bed for actual sex.
5533428
Don't worry. Spike is going to pay for what he did in the next chapter, assuming I can actually finish it. I'm struggling to write something similar to the first chapter's quality, so I'm going to take my time. It'll probably be a few more days before I deem it worthy of posting.
I've learned that writing about male parts is a lot different than writing about female parts. These things are complicated! I'm not an actual writer so I'm just trying to wing it.
Did a reading of this fic. Found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfnbwqnhSF0
Hope someone enjoys!
New chapter is out! Hooray! I think. Maybe. I actually think it sucks, but I also thought the first chapter did too and most of you seemed to like it for some reason.
Enjoy.
(After posting that new chapter, I'm just waiting for the dislike counter to shoot skyward.)
5539120
I think you're selling yourself short. This was an amazing read.
5539120
Your modesty makes me want to punch something.
Repetitive sentence structure, three sentences in a row. All three of them use "and" to link two clauses.
Unless "it" is a euphemism for "penis"...
Past-tense all the way through...then BAM, present-tense!
Loved it. Thanks for writing this, and thanks again for the second chapter!
5543220
Thanks for pointing these out! I actually noticed the second one while I wasn't home (I tend to get bored on long drives so I was proofreading this for obvious mistakes like that one. No, I wasn't the one driving!), but I just wasn't in a position to edit it. That error was a remnant of altering that sentence midway through this chapter's development; I just forgot to delete "his."
Now, hopefully I can find some way to rewrite these in a manner that isn't totally awful. I'll try my best.
... I still can't believe I just wrote a clopfic.
That's just wrong.
Hilarious, though.
God damn it Twilight, I...kind of understand you're desire to get back at Spike but the two circumstances are totally different. Spike gave you More sexual pleasure and you instead try to delay his.
Don't be a bitch Twilight, no one likes a bitch.
5555186
She gave him a blowjob all night long with lessened refractory periods! She totally wasn't denying him anything there. Also, I think you should read the next chapter. Twilight definitely doesn't deny him much here, either.
5555186 For some, orgasm denial is a fetish. Even chastity. I sure enjoyed it. But then, I would enjoy a story about Twilight and Rarity ganging up on Spike to make him their sex slave, and extending his time spent in chastity if he's not submissive or obedient enough for their liking.
In case it's not obvious, I'm trying to give the author ideas. Is it working?
5559905
I dunno. Anything is possible I guess! All of these chapters were spur of the moment things, so if I stray idea about the subject enters my mind I'll probably write about it. The seed is planted, we just need to see if it sprouts!
Not sure how you did it but you've written the first story I've ever read that has convinced me to try something new, and its a clop fic no less!
Now excuse me, I'm off to buy an e-stim starter kit!
More?
5709332
I haven't had any inspiration lately, but as soon as I do I will write about it. All of these chapters have been spur-of-the-moment things, where suddenly I have this story in my head and I quickly write it down before I forget it.
I just need to wait for some kind of spark, is all!
Wasn't there a story a few years back about a guy who jacked off about 30 times in a row, killing himself? I think that would be the same result from an all-night orgasm. I mean, holy shit, Twi!
5735502
Magic. Ain't nothin' gotta make sense!
This is hot, electro stimulation and orgasm delay.
Any idea when a next chapter might come?
5947738
I honestly have no idea. I'm always tossing around ideas in my head about what could be next, but they're never fleshed out enough to actually make something substantial.
It kind of looks like I exhausted all my good ideas at once with the three chapters I posted. Rest assured, as soon as I think of something I'll get cracking, but I can't say for sure when that'll happen.
5949888 hopefully inspiration strikes soon
Should I be scared? (Goes on to the next chapter)
5555186 TBH, I thought Twilight would do far worse to spike, unleashing that S&M that's been hiding below the surface all this time.
@Tw0022: not a bad chapter at all. I can't wait to see what the next chapter has in store.
I think edging might be an idea. If someone were to get pushed to the brink, their orgasm would be that much better!
6101518
Honestly, that moment just before orgasm is far more pleasurable than the orgasm itself. To be held at that level would be heaven itself~
and then she makes a portable version and starts walking around ponyville in a dress a lot, but then Rarity finds out and steals the remote...
Eh, at least it wasn't disgusting. See ya in the next chapter
hmmm.
I don't know how to feel
Wow, a burst of views all of a sudden! Just got a ton of notifications for this story out of nowhere. Weird. (I thought this thing was lost to time!)
Anyway, I'd like to say thank you to all of you folks who have viewed, liked/disliked, and left feedback over the last year. It was rather helpful, and certainly helped to make me feel better about this cacophony of words I decided to compile one weekend. Since this story hasn't been updated in almost a year, I'm going to mark it as "on hiatus." I still don't know when I'll finally add another chapter, and as I said before it all depends on when I get an idea. I can't force ideas to happen. (Sorry!)
Once again, thank you all for the feedback, and keep being awesome! Hopefully I'll think of something to add to this soon.
So spike died of dehydration? At least it was with the most satisfied smile on his face.
Good but there are improvement points. I would think Twilight would immediately order Spike to stop it. He's still just a child after all and she would want to shield him from her lewd desires. She would get quite angry at him for abusing his power over her like that.
Also what is the platua setting? I get the order 3 but that one confuses me. I would think pulses on the slowest setting is actually the most intense setting you have. It will catch you off-guard every time a shock happens.
Soooo, any plans to continue this?
7997715
Not at the moment. I honestly can't say when/if this will get updated.