Chapter 14: Say goodbye...
The express train back to Ponyville... this isn't where I thought I would be today.
It was Queen Chrysalis' Hatching Day, the changeling equivalent to a birthday. Princess Chiri, Iqqel and Pinkie had been planning a big party for her. Shortly after Chiri's Ceremony of Names, they let Celestia and me in on their plans.
They had some great ideas. Today was really going to be one amazing party...
I glanced over at my traveling companion. She was idly staring out of the window, her eyes far away; her face had been set in a perpetual scowl since we had exited the caves, and the sight of Equestria in the morning had begun to flood in from the windows. We had a private car, though it hardly mattered; there were no other passengers on this train anyway.
I guess that's how it goes when you organize emergency transport. I wonder how many passengers are going to have to wait for the next train scheduled because of this?
I sighed. I knew I was just trying to distract myself from the situation at hoof. Glancing again at my companion, I felt it was only appropriate to try to start some kind of conversation, something to take our minds off of the issue.
“Excuse me, Chrysalis? I was-”
“I don't wish to speak, Twilight.”
I paused at that, watching her carefully. After a few moments of that intense scrutiny, Chrysalis pulled her gaze from the window to look at me, scowl and all.
“Erh... What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I'm not stupid, Chrysalis.”
“What? How did that-”
“I realize that you probably don't feel like speaking right now... but I also know how it is to be so worried about something that you feel like the only thing you should do is just fixate on it, even though thinking about the problem isn't actually going to help.”
Chrysalis just stared at me for a few moments, her scowl fading as she considered my words. I pressed on in response.
“The only thing we can do right now is wait for this train to take us to Ponyville. So maybe a little conversation to keep our minds off of... what awaits us, isn't such a bad idea.”
Chrysalis glanced away when I mentioned what was waiting for us. As much as she had tried to hide her concern back at the Hive, I could tell that the news brought her equal parts rage and sorrow. As we had gotten closer to our destination, she had become increasingly irritated, even yelling at one of the train's wait-staff when they tried to bring us drinks. To be honest... I was worried about her.
Worrying about Chrysalis' emotional health... I almost wish I could use a time travel spell to tell my younger self that I'd be at this point, just to see the look on my face.
Chrysalis gently nodded her assent.
“I suppose it's not so unreasonable. Fine... what do you wish to discuss, Twilight?”
“Well... I guess, for starters, that was an amazing thing you did for Chiri.”
Chrysalis glanced up at me in surprise. The ceremony had just been three days ago, but things had been hectic since then – what with us discretely preparing Chrysalis' birthday party without her knowledge, and Chrysalis going over various aspects of the Cultural Exchange Program with Celestia – and so there had not been a chance for us to speak about it.
“Did... do you really think so?”
“Yeah, absolutely! I mean, I was worried about how changelings would react to how her appearance had changed, and... and just...”
“How she would fit in to the Hive, or be open about her birth and family?”
“Yeah! But you dealt with all of that! Rather than having to continue keeping secrets about herself, you made sure that she could be open about... well, everything. You... you gave her a home.”
I gestured with my hooves a bit, but I couldn't think of any words to follow that up. Chrysalis, for her part, smiled faintly in response, looking relieved.
“I'm glad you think so. I'm not very... experienced at having a family, in the immediate sense of the word that ponies employ.”
Chrysalis looked a little uncomfortable at that admission, but it surprised me more than anything. It hadn't occurred to me that Chrysalis would actually feel insecure about... well, anything, much less this.
“It goes to show how much you care that you were concerned about it... but, I mean, you saw how happy it made her, right? What was there to worry about?”
Chrysalis fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat. It was actually kind of cute, which wasn't an adjective I had expected to be applying to the Queen of the Changelings.
“... Well... I had considered whether or not to let Chiri choose her own name at the ceremony...”
“Ah, right! That's how it's normally done, right?”
“In theory, yes. A lot of changelings have already taken some kind of name before the ceremony begins, and they just confirm it...”
“But you confirmed it for her. Her role in the hive, too. It didn't really occur to me before... Why do things that way?”
“Because the whole... the thing that separates changeling royalty, at least traditionally...”
“Ah! Right! You told me that the Queens of the hive have a name assigned to them, and the job is... er, well, it's sort of thrust upon them, I guess?”
I smiled anxiously. I didn't want to sound condescending or insensitive, but this was the way it worked as I understood it. Thankfully, Chrysalis nodded.
“That is... more or less correct. Hive Chrysalis has never had a 'princess' before... so I decided to sort of split the difference between a normal Ceremony of Names and a royal one.”
“Oh... you said that the Speaker at your ceremony bowed to you once you were confirmed. That explains why you bowed to Chiri, too! You were taking the role of the Speaker.”
“That, and I couldn't think of a way to, er... subtly encourage the rest of the gathering to recognize her status.”
It took me a moment to catch on to what she meant.
“Oh! Ah! Yeah, I guess it would be awkward to just...”
I sat up in my seat, trying to look haughty, waving a hoof out over an invisible audience. Then, in my most haughty, commanding, and – being honest – hammy voice, I declared;
“NOW BOW, SUBJECTS! BOW TO THIS ONE!”
Both of us had a good laugh at that. Laughing alongside Chrysalis felt good – like we had finally broken through a wall of ice that had formed between us.
“Hahah, yes, Twilight, that's precisely what I was trying to avoid. Besides, I figured that even if no one else caught on... it was enough that I showed her respect.”
“Heehee... So, by splitting the difference, you mean you chose a name that reflected the one she had already chosen?”
“Indeed. That, and her role as Princess is... largely left at her discretion. She has the authority to do many things, but she doesn't have the responsibility that a Queen does. She's more or less free to do what she wants. She can change her own name or abdicate her role as Princess if she wants.”
“... And I guess the ability to leave the job behind is the most important difference between that and being a Queen, when you get down to it, huh?”
Chrysalis nodded, and an uneasy silence settled between us. I knew I had just touched on something sensitive, but I felt it was necessary. I wanted to understand Chrysalis better, and that meant understanding her position as Queen.
Still... forced into the role, with no choice in the matter, and no ability to leave? Stuck with that responsibility your whole life?
Suddenly, I understood why Chiri had spoken so much about what it 'meant to be a Queen' when she was staying with us in Ponyville. It was something that really weighed heavily on her...
“Oh... you were trying to free her of that burden...”
“... Of course. She didn't deserve that.”
“Neither did you!”
Chrysalis paused at that, like I had just spoken in a foreign language. She blinked a few times, considering my words, and I pressed forward.
“There's no one above you in the hive, right? So couldn't you just... change the law, and leave your position?”
“It's not that simple. It isn't any law that binds me to my office, it's... complicated.”
“But that's just so... unfair.”
“I don't really think of it as unfair. I... prefer to have my position in the hive. I want to help my subjects.”
“If it wasn't unfair, you wouldn't have rushed to make sure no one else had to do it if they didn't want to.”
Chrysalis frowned at that, considering. After a few moments, she chuckled faintly to herself, and glanced back at me.
“I guess you win this round, Twilight. It's not really fair, but it's not so bad.”
After a few moments, I decided to let it drop, and nodded. I decided to change the subject back to more positive topics.
“So what was that you and Chiri were singing together, after the formalities were over and everyone was eating?”
“Oh, that! Hah! Well, that's just a song she and I happen to both know. It was written for post-ceremony celebrations, but it never really caught on.”
“Why not? It was really good!”
I had really enjoyed the song. It celebrated coming of age and making one's own way in the world, deciding for yourself what was important enough to spend your time on.
“It was never published, is all.”
“Never published...? But then how do you both know it? Who wrote it?”
Chrysalis' mouth opened and closed a couple of times as she blinked in apparent confusion, trying to recall the memory. After a few more moments of concentration, she finally shook her head lightly, looking a little frustrated.
“I suppose that I did.”
“Oh! Wow, I didn't know you wrote music!”
“... A long time ago.”
I realized that she must have meant before her own ceremony.
Oh, no... I can give a fair guess as to why that song never got published. She probably planned to debut it after her own ceremony... man, even when I try to change the subject, we end up back on this stuff...
I decided to just ask about something that had been bothering me, since it didn't look like attempting to be tactful was getting me anywhere.
“So, er... I was wondering something. At the ceremony, you said that the Equestrians had helped you with that spell...”
“I did.”
“But... er...”
Chrysalis fixed me with an absolutely devilish grin, making me acutely aware of how sharp her teeth were. I froze, realizing she was waiting for me to say something to the effect of us not being involved. Instead, I sighed.
No way am I a good enough liar for this anyway, and now that Chiri is involved... the example Chrysalis set at the ceremony is right. Openness and honesty are the best policy right now.
“Okay, okay, fine. We did intentionally let you get ahold of that formula.”
Chrysalis giggled, while I rolled my eyes, a smirk forming of my own. But now I had another question...
“But how did you figure that out?”
“Twilight, as soon as I realized the spell had done something unexpected, I began researching it vigorously – to the exclusion of almost everything else. I'm glad Chiri was there, because otherwise I would have been neglecting my duties. I had no choice, though.”
“What do you mean?”
Chrysalis gaze darkened slightly, and her voice became more serious.
“I had given life to something that, according to the original spell formula, was slated to disappear within six months. The moment I realized Chiri was capable of learning and growing, I knew she was alive. And I protect those I am responsible for.”
I found myself staring at Chrysalis as she spoke. As intimidating as she might have been under other circumstances, speaking that way, I found myself admiring her protective instincts.
The invasion and its aftermath must have been really hard on her, then... but I shouldn't bring that up right now.
Instead, I just nodded. Chrysalis continued after a moment, in a somewhat lighter voice.
“Part of my research of the spell included looking into its supposed author, a pony wizard who had encountered an unknown crystal – what I recognized as luminite – and created the spell in his experiments. That pony wizard didn't exist anywhere in the Equestrian archives, and I started to suspect that I had been fooled. A little investigation confirmed it.”
The idea that Chrysalis' agents could so easily 'investigate' that sort of thing made me a little uneasy, but I didn't let it show. Judging by her smug grin, she knew anyway.
Before I could speak again, however, we felt the train coming to a halt, and glancing outside confirmed that we had reached our destination. Ponyville. I felt my heart leap into my throat, and glancing at Chrysalis, I saw a pained expression on her face as well. Earlier that day, Iqqel had muttered about it being 'one of those days' when the news had been brought to us in the hive.
I suddenly found myself agreeing completely.
-
Chrysalis grumbled in response to what I had said.
“So you're saying that you need to stay here, even for this?”
“I'm sorry. It's for the best if I do... I don't mean to be insensitive, it's just-”
“No, I understand. This is normally done in private, with only the dearest friends – if anyone – present... but I suppose it can't be helped in this case. I guess you should consider yourself... honored.”
It was hard to feel honored, standing there playing a role halfway between chaperone and bodyguard. Chrysalis and I were looking down at a changeling, lying unconscious on a hospital bed, and she had just lapsed into an intense concentration, her horn lighting up.
We had hurried through the streets of Ponyville to get to the general hospital. Chrysalis had all but exploded on the supervising doctor when he had informed her that they had done all that they could. I had managed to calm her down, and the doctor had done his best to be apologetic for the situation, but no amount of apologies could fix the situation.
They just don't know enough about how to treat changeling injuries here. It's not exactly part of the normal curriculum in Equestrian medicine...
When we had been notified that a changeling had been involved in a serious accident, back in the hive, we had only been an hour from springing Chrysalis' surprise party on her. We quickly agreed to postpone it until after she returned. Back then, we anticipated that Chrysalis would come back exhausted, but things would work out fine.
But the first thing Chrysalis had said when she walked in the door and saw the state the poor changeling was in was that he was beyond her help. She had spent hours trying anyway, getting progressively more and more worn down... but no amount of magic or love energy was helping.
“The doctors said that he was already gone by the time we got here...”
“He wasn't. Not... not exactly. Changelings don't just disappear the way ponies do, Twilight.”
I flinched in surprise at her response. I hadn't even meant to say that out loud, and I certainly hadn't expected a reply when she was so deep in concentration.
“Disappear?”
“When a changeling is near death, they enter a hibernation state. It preserves them so that they... so that their Queen can say goodbye to them.”
I covered my mouth with my hoof, realizing the meaning of what she had said. If the doctors had known about that, they might have continued trying to save him, even after he was gone. It certainly explained Chrysalis' efforts.
Chrysalis said that she was going to give him last rites... I guess that's what she means by 'say goodbye'?
“Okay. I'm ready. Twilight, stand back, and... try not to be noticeable. She won't be happy to see you.”
“She?”
Chrysalis' horn was growing incandescent at this point. I recognized that the spell was already activating, and Chrysalis couldn't stop it now.
“His Queen.”
With that, the green energy around Chrysalis' horn enveloped her entire body, and then burned like flame for a second before burning out, signaling a transformation. It reminded me a little of Chiri's transformation except that this was definitely done properly – and definitely not performed with pure love energy.
And yet... she doesn't look that different. A different manecut, and a lot older, maybe. The lines on her face are all different...
She almost looked like a grandmother changeling. Before I could muse on that any further, though, she looked back down at the changeling on the bed, and her eyes winced in pain. I saw her take a few shuddering breaths, as the pace of her breathing quickened, and tears began to stream down her face.
Slowly, gingerly, she lifted a hoof to the changeling's cheek. Most of his body was covered in bandages, but his face was thankfully uncovered. She gently stroked it, muttering.
“Piro-Krittith...you were far too young for this fate...”
Krittith... that name sounds familiar.
Slowly, a green aura faded into sight in that part of the room. It didn't seem to be coming directly from any one point – it just was.
And, much to my amazement, the changeling's eyelids slowly rose, revealing two deep, crimson eyes.
“Ch... Chrysalis? Queen Chrysalis?”
The changelings expression slowly changed to one of fear, but that was quickly replaced by confusion when Chrysalis swept him into her arms, clutching him to her chest and weeping.
“Not that Chrysalis... your mother. The old Queen.”
The old Queen? Is that what that transformation was?
“Oh... Oh...”
His eyes registered in comprehension, and he sighed, closing them. He gently nuzzled Chrysalis back, before she laid him back on the bed. He looked up at her, his expression that of someone who is sleepy, but trying to focus, and he spoke quickly and clearly.
“So... I guess that means this is it, huh?”
He has to... know that it's coming? That must be so awful...
“I'm so sorry, my child. I could not make it in time. The so-called 'doctors' of this wretched nation knew nothing of how to care for you, and-”
“Stop! Don't speak of Equestria that way.”
Chrysalis – or was it... old-Chrysalis? – bit back a reply, and nodded.
“Whatever you wish, my child. I am just... upset that it had to be this way. I didn't expect to see you again except as an old, proud figure who had retired from a life as one of the most successful Infiltrators in our history.”
That's right, some of the Infiltrators – the changelings that were responsible for spying on Equestria – came forward and asked for asylum in Equestria, even before the Cultural Exchange Program. He must have been one of the first. That would explain where I heard the name, before.
Krittith chuckled weakly at that, shaking his head.
“I discovered a better way... and if I'm going to pass away now, then... I do so without regret.”
Chrysalis shook her head, gently brushing his cheek.
“I'll never understand why you chose to live among ponies, or to... forsake your connection to the hive, but none of that matters, now. Even if you made odd choices, you were still one of my children... and you will still be remembered.”
That's a nice thing to say.
“Then make sure it is all remembered.”
Chrysalis balked slightly at that, looking at him in surprise. He strained slightly to press forward.
“All of it. Don't just... archive my earlier years. I want other changelings to understand exactly why I made the choices I did. I want them to see the connections I had with my friends, here.”
Archive?
Chrysalis eyed him warily for a few seconds, caught up in some kind of internal debate. She opened her mouth, her expression indicating she was going to say something hostile, and then suddenly flinched, pulling her face to the side and closing her eyes. She slowly returned her gaze to Krittith, and fresh tears found their way to her eyes.
“Of course, child. The current Queen demands that it be so, regardless. All memories as accurate and sincere as they can be.”
So... the current Chrysalis doesn't want any distortion of history? Good for her!
Krittith stared at her for a while, and then nodded, his eyes sliding shut.
“Then I'm ready.”
At that, both of their horns began glowing. I watched in a mixture of horror and fascination as Krittith opened his eyes, and red, glowing energy slowly flowed from his eyes, forming a marble-sized ball in front of him, and leaving his eyes as white and blank as a nymph's. The small pocket of energy slowly flowed over to Chrysalis, and gently pressed against her head, directly between her eyes, spreading out in the process.
Chrysalis gasped when contact was made, and closed her eyes as the energy spread, creating an intricate tattoo-like pattern across her face and neck. The red lines glowed with energy for a few more seconds, before disappearing, along with the glow from both of their horns. I noticed, with some alarm, that the green aura of the room was rapidly diminishing.
“It is done. Tell my friends... all of them... that I love them.”
Krittith closed his eyes, and sighed.
And just like that, the aura was gone completely. Chrysalis, her eyes still closed, grit her teeth and choked out a reply.
“I will, Krittith. They will know.”
I sat back for a couple of minutes, letting Chrysalis cry undisturbed. My mind was still reeling with what I had seen.
THAT'S a changeling's idea of last rites? That's... I have so many questions, and... and he's really dead, I thought she'd be able to help him, but he's...
I grimaced, and shook my head to clear it. I couldn't help Krittith, but I could help Chrysalis. I gently walked over to her, and put a hoof on her shoulder.
And she smacked it away, her eyes suddenly burning with green flame, and her mouth curled into a snarl.
“DO NOT PRESUME TO TOUCH ME, you FILTH! If it wasn't for this, this... if it wasn't for YOU, you ponies, Krittith would still be alive! Your incompetence, how you seduced one of my CHILDREN to turn their back on their FAMILY! I should destroy you, here and now, for having the AUDACITY to... to...”
I had staggered back several steps, feeling adrenaline spiking through me as I prepared for some kind of fight. Chrysalis' rambling died down, however, and she started shaking heavily, the fire gone from her eyes. She was still snarling, but now she wasn't looking at me – she was gazing off to the side at nothing in particular.
I watched her screw her eyes shut, and a quick green flame passed over her form, replacing her older countenance with the Chrysalis I recognized. Her shaking quickly subsided, and she drew herself up straight, taking several deep breaths. As her face slid back into a neutral – though weary – expression, she calmed her breathing, and then opened her eyes to look at me.
“I am sorry for her outburst, Twilight. My mother was not... a fan of ponies.”
I blinked uncomprehendingly for a couple of seconds before I realized what had happened. It wasn't Chrysalis – at least, not the one that I was familiar with – that had attacked me, but the previous Queen. The one that had hatched the one that I knew.
“I... okay. I think I get it.”
Chrysalis nodded, looking a little ashamed.
“Thank you. I didn't mean for that to happen – or any of this, really. But it's all... part of the office.”
She stared down at Krittith, weariness and sorrow in her gaze. The implications of what she had said started to hit me.
“So the previous Queen lives on... inside of you?”
Chrysalis nodded faintly. “It is a Queen's duty to provide last rites to all of her children... even if she has already passed on herself.”
Part of the job is... you have to bear witness to the final moments of all of your children?
I felt tears stinging my own eyes as I watched Chrysalis break her gaze away from Krittith and move towards the door, presumably to inform the medical staff. My mind went back to our earlier conversation.
“This is what you were trying to spare Chiri from?”
Chrysalis paused, her eyes still downcast.
“It's the burden I carry... so no one else has to.”
And with that, Chrysalis left me to my thoughts. As I heard her begin speaking to the nurse on duty, my thoughts wandered to my own actions, and those I knew who sacrificed for those they cared about.
What's so different? Why do I feel this is just so... unfair?
Unfair was the word I kept coming around to, though it felt like a childish reaction. After all, many others that I knew and respected gave of themselves for the benefit of others, so why did this bother me so much? As I turned the problem around in my head, I eventually came to just one conclusion.
It was their choice.
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Meanwhile, Twilight's first reaction was to dispell her
Heh. Even when dying, he's a cheeky one
Soooo... they have a pool of memories of their dearly departed? That's a nice way to build up a knowledge base
Looks like being a Queen is much more than a status, then... she bears the personas of the whole line of queens. Also explains why she wanted Chiri to have a separate status; she's a royal, but without that part.
Ahhhh, wrong Chrysalis! She even warned you about this, you idiot!
Heh. And, in some rather repressed past, Chryssi was
Very nice and insightful chapter!
img0.derpicdn.net/img/2012/6/21/13372/large.jpg
Its just :D
Well, that gave me feels.
Can't wait for the third book!
6076869 Here's hoping I get on that soon. I've stalled out for a very long time due to various RL issues, but i'm still here.
6077302 I know the feeling; no worries and no hurry!
6840646 Does she have the same anatomy past that?
6840675 The same as the moth? No. The same as before? Well, her thorax, antennae, and horn are different, as well as a few other changes mentioned in Eclosion.
6840684 Do you have a picture of her or whatever?
6840901 No post-transformation pictures, sorry.
6840938 You could always request something I guess right?
Wait does the Queen have to be present in the death of each and every one? Does the Queen give birth to other changelings or do they have families and stuff? *shrug*
Celestia and me. You wouldn't say "They let I in on their plans." I don't normally harp on this, but I do when it's Twilight's internal narration.
Yeah, if anypony's familiar with the perils of overthinking, it's Twilight Sparkle. In the best case, it forces a magical clone to establish her own independent identity. Needless to say, the best case rarely crops up.
Ah. Chrysalis gave her sister the position she wishes she could have herself. At least someone gets to.
The last rites were fascinating. Poor Krittith. Just when he was getting back on his feet. And I think I see the agent that shifted Chrysalis's love of ponies into something darker...
Quite a lot to take in. And I can't help but draw parallels between Chrysalis and Twilight herself. Not just the overthinking, but having royal duty foisted upon them by a quirk of fate. Neither asked for it, but both are rather adept at it. More than they think. I wonder if they're going to notice that.
Okay, Twilight jumping headfirst into things without really thinking works pretty well.
The voicing in the letter in chapter 9 is very good, and matches the confusion and intensity of the situation well. I like the touch with Spike at the end, and think it's a good fit for something he'd do: play support well and keep his cool when Twilight isn't.
I like the way Cheery's color design ties back in to Pinkie (pink = red + white), plus changeling black. And the move to more narration-heavy formatting worked well as a means of moving through more time and events without ballooning the word count.
The letters in chapter 10 are odd. Some aspects suggest coming after an opening associated with the exchange program from the beginning (like the liberalization on naming among nymphs, which I think is new information, or the simple fact that she thinks the letters may in principle have been sent (of course, could be pure deception on Piro-Ammon's part)), but then other aspects point to the opposite, like the degree of closure and apparent requirement for secrecy in sending the letters. It even has me wondering if it's the same Iqquel; then again, she did originally figure she'd be a Thinker.
Ah, okay. So it probably was a young Chrysalis. Pushing the irony of her resentment that others would prefer what she once did herself--but then, not quite: she'd wanted to import (and maybe in part leave herself, but that didn't seem like the sole focus), to change the hive along pony lines.
Interesting that the Luna parallel is probably stronger with Chrysalis herself than Cheery, despite explicitly being mentioned in the latter case by Celestia; then again, given the placement at the very end before moving to two Chrysalis chapters, maybe directing thought along those lines was the point.
Kind of a feeling of a retroactive political marriage at the end of chapter 13. It's hard to tell exactly how this will go on a personal level; it could depend greatly on Chrysalis's interpretation, whether that be one of personal subordination to her and the more direct bond across species or something else. But from the ceremony and her earlier emoting love, it appears to be much more positive than that, at least on the surface.
Though at that, she still seems as of the start of the following chapter to be ill at ease and insecure. (Heh, Twilight agrees to the word.) But then, it seems to be based less on that than the news the story is being coy about.
Ah, that's cool. Actually, reminds me greatly of Dune, a world and system I'm quite fond of.
Last few sentences are wonderful. And there's so much more weight to what Chrysalis was going through, and sparing Cheery from, when this was the one part of her position that would never be taken from her.
This and the first Book feel like a complete story together, to get back to my earlier criticisms. Actually, at this point, I wonder what's left to be covered. All right.
Outstanding take on changeling queen customs! I really enjoyed this chapter, and the book as a whole
yep, definite Onion/10. make that 10 chopped up onions/10