The Queen and I, Book 2: People and Problems

by SoloBrony

Chapter 11: Her lamentation

Queen Chrysalis stalked around her office, her aggravation palpable. She had dismissed her guards, not wishing anyone to see or hear her in this state.

“As though anyone would come knocking anyway...”

Chrysalis stopped her grumbling and pacing for a moment, looking thoughtful. “Except Iqqel. Lili-Iqqel will come, I'm sure, at some point. Oh, Iqqel, you've been at my side for as long as I can remember...”

Chrysalis shook her head, glancing at a nearby mirror. “Look at me. Purple bags under my eyes... disheveled hair... Hardly the look of the proud Queen of Hive Chrysalis.”

With a heavy sigh, Chrysalis walked back over to her desk, staring down at the open letter on its surface. She had heard the rumors months ago, of course, but seeing it right in front of her was different. Five changelings asking for citizenship in Equestria.

And a letter from Celestia to verify that this would not cause problems between their nations.

With a snort, Chrysalis turned away. “Ponies... honestly. Why anyling would want to live with those creatures is beyond me. They-”

Chrysalis caught another glimpse of herself in the mirror.

“Or... perhaps it's just better than living here. Even Cheery would prefer to be around ponies than be around me, right now. She'll just leave me to take care of everything here, while she's off gallivanting around Equestria with that pink menace! She...! She...”

Chrysalis ground her teeth, breathing heavily for a few moments. She slowly sauntered over to her couch and flopped onto it, her breath slowly growing more ragged.

“... It's not right for me to begrudge my sister her friends. She didn't ask to be here, but she's done everything she can to live up to my expectations. And she has. I have no business being jealous if she...”

Chrysalis winced, tears forming in her eyes. “If my subjects have learned to prefer her to me.”

Chrysalis laid there a few moments, just listening to the uneven sound of her own breathing and blinking back tears.

“... Since when is the changeling Queen Chrysalis so pathetic? And so spiteful? To resent my sister's success, my people's happiness – however it may come to them – and to let myself be so... Was I not once called the Hive's rising star? I was a brilliant magical researcher, all of the Thinkers bowed to my intellect, and I once dazzled the entire Hive with my music, just to prove I could! So when did I transform into this...”

Chrysalis' eyes widened slightly, as an old memory made its way to the surface. She tried to smile, giving her the uneven, crooked expression of one who's too close to tears to do so, and reached out with her magic, her horn glowing a soft green.

Slowly, across the room, two old luggage cases stirred to life and opened, revealing two violins. Slowly, they levitated out of the cases, as two cleaning cloths came to life and wiped the dust from them. Two bows levitated out of the cases, and were quickly coated with just the right amount of rosin.

A few gentle strokes to test the violins, followed by some tuning, and soon Chrysalis had the two violins playing a low tune. It was an old skill, to her – something she could do absentmindedly, even after so long.

Chrysalis laid her head down on the pillow. She sniffled a few times, before giving up on properly clearing her throat or nose, and just watched the two violins play a simple, deep tune. Eventually, she started to sing, her voice ringing true despite a slightly watery, hoarse tone creeping in.

~

What now?

What now?

What am I now?

Some pathetic fool, unfit to be queen

An insufferable thing, with a destiny so cruel

I made my journey

Filled with uncertainty

Fear and hope inside me warred

But I never could have imagined, what cruel fate lie in store

Hopes and dreams lie in desolation

My life is lost to me

With this wretched transformation

What am I to be?

~

Where do I fit in now? I do not know~

I've lost my way, had I one to begin with

I just wish to return home~

But it's lost to decay, if it ever existed

~

Chrysalis slowly rose back to her hooves, sauntering around the office as she sang, until she came to a stop in front of the mirror again. She stared at her own reflection, with the two violins visible above her tired, worn eyes, and slowly the music intensified, and third violin joining her voice in the melody.

~

What kind of a queen leads a failed invasion?

I told myself, 'This day is going to be per~fect'

I told them all, victory is come at last!

But it was all in vain

For to fill our needs

We simply had to ask

~

Chrysalis wrenched her eyes shut, gritting her teeth. A piano slowly faded into the song, carrying a harmony with the violins, and the music entered a more dark, ominous bridge.

~

Relying on my foes for mercy,

Soon I'll lose the Soldiers' loyalty

The Tenders will laugh out in their fields,

At a would-be queen, forced to yield

Thinkers and Makers will scoff alike,

At my ideas, banal and trite

'Where is the queen'? Shall ask the speakers,

'Hiding in the spire,' shall come the answer,

'She never comes out, not even as teacher,'

'Hopefully retired, take down her banner!'

'Only she could drive us to the world above,'

'Not even a Feeder could want her love!'

~

Chrysalis slammed her hooves down on the desk, looking down at the letter with a manic smile on her face, marred by the tears streaming out of her eyes.

“'Dear Queen Chrysalis'... Hah! So I'm dear to old Celestia, now, am I? All's forgotten and forgiven! Don't worry, you're far too weak for us to hold a grudge!”

Chrysalis let out high, dissonant laughter, mirrored by the two violins, now playing so fast in the corner that they created an almost buzzing sense of cacophony.

“She hopes that our 'relationship' won't become 'strained' due to this citizenship request! OH MY, Celestia, I didn't know you felt that way! It's all so sudden!”

Chrysalis started to giggle and hiccup uncontrollably as she looked at the letter, leaning in close as though to speak to a child, or lover, “Don't you worry, Celestia. Why would this strain our relationship? After all, it's just a few of my citizens who don't appreciate anything I've done for them! Go ahead and take them!”

The music began to swell to a dissonant crescendo.

“In fact, I bet you know what's best for everyone, Celestia! You should take ALL of my subjects! We'll declare Hive Chrysalis as Equestria's newest vassal! Oh, don't worry about me, I'll just stay down here by myself – someone's got to dust things off and keep the bats from wrecking everything! You know, so that when some changelings remember where they're from, and get curious, at least they can pay a visit and say hi!”

~

It's fine then, it's okay!

Why on earth should I say nay?

It's time I let the children play!

They clearly don't need me to stay,

They can lead themselves astray!

It won't raise the slightest ire,

Let them fly like moths to fire!

I'll roast mallows on the pyre,

Because this old nag will be retired!

~

Chrysalis flipped the desk just as the music reached a crescendo, resulting in a massive, cacophonous roar. The two violins broke under the strain of the magic she used on them, one breaking at the handle and the other simply popping its strings and cracking along the surface.

The music fell to a deathly quiet as Chrysalis surveyed the room. Hesitantly, she looked at the mirror again. Now cracked in several places, it showed a grotesque distortion of her appearance.

“An improvement, I suppose... “

Chrysalis slowly walked over to the two broken violins, mementos of her past, and looked down at them in a mix of horror and self-disgust. Her horn lit up, and music slowly returned to the room – a quiet, colder version of the tune she had played before.

~

What now?

What now?

What am I now?

Some pathetic fool, unfit to be queen

An insufferable thing, with a destiny so cruel

I made my journey

Filled with uncertainty

Fear and hope inside me warred

But I never could have imagined, what cruel fate lie in store

Hopes and dreams lie in desolation

My life is lost to me

With this wretched transformation

What am I to be?

~

It's so easy not to see, when you're holding your head down

That you're going nowhere fast, and your soul's about to drown

Who could want me now, who could love such a thing?

Want such a broken figure, with delusions of being queen?

I thought I knew what had to be done,

Believed that I was fit to lead.

But clearly I am not the one,

Leadership is what I should concede.

~

Chrysalis stopped her singing, letting the music drop to barely audible levels, and started quietly speaking in time with it.

“I try to not resent Cheery,

Though everyone loves her instead.

But I'm a broken thing, unfit to be loved,

So who can blame them?

And I love my sister,

If I can love at all.

Perhaps I'm such a monster,

I know not what love is.

But I know this...”

~

“I'll put her ahead of me, with the rest of my Hive.

If I'm of no use to them now, that's fine.

I'll go, I'll lock myself in the Hall of Queens,

I'll waste away, and never be seen.

I'd rather fade away, with a little dignity,

Than be remembered as an outcast.

If my people are happy...

what more could I ask?”

~

Comments

[SilentH9]

*Urge to hug Chrysalis rising...*

[Nyerguds]

and I once dazzled the entire Hive with my music

Yup. She's Cecily, all right.

The music fell to a deathly quiet as Chrysalis surveyed the room. Hesitantly, she looked at the mirror again. Now cracked in several places, it showed a grotesque distortion of her appearance.

“An improvement, I suppose... “

She cracked, all right

Well. That was kinda depressing

One remark:
> I just with to return home
"I just [wish] to return home"

[SoloBrony]

5531774 Typo fixed. Thank you for being so astute regarding these. I'm not sure how they slipped through this far, but I'll iron them out as they're found.

[Nyerguds]

5532123
Ah, no worries. I still find silly mistakes like that when rereading my own writings as well

[ColdGoldLazarus]

5521447 *ditto*

[nioniosbbbb]

This makes me sad...

[FanOfMostEverything]

Careful who you call "sister," Chryssy. Otherwise, you're related to the pink menace.

In any case, I do love the parallel of the beginning of the song, followed by the divergence when Chrysalis has no one to reassure her. Her insecurities are laid bare, and of course noling dares enter her chambers to reassure her. (Hint, hint, Iqqel.)

Still, I have to wonder what happened to her earlier hopes. I think my earlier guess was off the mark. Was it the need for respect? The expectations of the crown, whether imposed by society or Chrysalis herself? I'm clearly going to need more information to know for certain.

[RGLloyd]

You bastard... a tear. You get one... I will not yield another -.-

[Black--Soul]

Well damn... This chapter just open my eyes in some ways... Awe inspiring

[Teraunce]

I rate that song an Onion/10.