Mind of a Non-Brony

by The Forgotten Host

Association

Luna telekinetically poked her dinner with a fork. TD’s memories had taken up most of her thoughts that day. Though she had performed her daily duty with regular efficiency, she was still distracted by everything she saw the night before. Celestia had taken notice to her sister’s inattentive demeanour as she ate opposite to her on the terrace table.

“Something the matter, Luna?” Celestia inquired, bringing Luna back into reality. “You seem distant today.”

“Oh no dear sister,” Luna answered with an assuring smile, “Our mind has been occupied by the dreamcape lately. No need to fret.”

“Ah I see,” Celestia smiled playfully. “Did a pony’s nightmare startle you?” She was met with Luna’s silence as she zoned out again, poking her meal with a fork. “Luna?”

Luna’s eyes snapped open. “Ah! No no no. Just wondering about a pony’s dream.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow concerned for her sister. “Is it something I should be concerned about?”

“No,” Luna smiled reassuringly, “It just got us thinking.”

Celestia blinked and then gave an understanding smile. “Honestly Luna, I don’t know how you can handle something as vast as the dreamscape.”

“Tis’ a gift.” She replied jokingly, taking a sip of wine.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Luna entered the dreamscape once again and looked for TD’s tablet, passing by countless other tablets. There wasn’t a pony in need as per usual, or she would have felt it by now. She stopped at the tablet with TD’s name on it, though it looked somewhat duller than before. She brushed a hoof over the tablet and as expected, found herself in the elevator once again. Though this time, the elevator seemed somewhat different.

Luna barely noticed it, but the walls had a few tiny dents and scratches here and there. The railings weren’t as sheen as they were the night before, and just for a moment, Luna thought the lights flickered. Even elevator TD, though he was still properly groomed look slightly paler with barely visible hollows under his eyes prompting Luna to raise an eyebrow.

“What happened here?” She inquired.

He sighed. “Regular maintenance got rescheduled…” He glanced away somewhat irritated. “Again.”

“Will everything be alright?”
He narrowed his eyebrows coldly for no reason, “It happens from time to time, especially this time of year.”

“What happens this time of year?” Luna tilted her head curiously.

TD was silent for a moment as though he ignored her. “Floor?”

“Two.” Luna decided still telling herself that she was interrogating TD.

Elevator TD pressed the button labeled two which appeared somewhat duller than all the other numbers. The sounds of gears turning was heard once again, and the elevator door opened to a familiar mist, though it slightly seeped into the small room.

Luna closed her eyes and passed through the mist.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Luna found herself in a white void that stretched till infinity. This was a definite new one. She could not feel her hooves, but there was an instinct that told her to navigate. And that is what she did, moving in a direction that mattered: forward.

‘Human minds are definitely complex.’ The princess noted gaining speed. Too complex. Ponies were much more straightforward in their mental presentation. Why not humans? Miserable little piles of secrets, they were. The void was turning darker, but the princess did not notice.

‘Wretched things indeed.’ The princess internally hissed, her corporeal form gaining weight. She didn’t notice that either. Twilight talked at length about their history narrated by TD. The wars, the blood, the torment. The more Luna heard about it, the more she hated TD in particular. She was moving faster now.

‘Such putrid things have no place in Equestria.’ She mused a sick sense of satisfaction festering in her mind. He was always the victim wasn’t he? Everything was Celestia’s fault or her fault. Nevermind how her sister went out of her way to make his stay in her sainted lands better. He never appreciated it. Humans don’t have a compassionate bone in their body! Luna was headed towards something now. A figure in the distance that was beckoning her towards itself. Luna complied, now moving at a break-neck speed.

‘He needs to go.’ The mere thought in her mind felt as though she was breaking a taboo. ‘He needs to go.’ The thing in the distance was now pulling her towards itself. She didn’t need to move by herself anymore, but she did anyway. ‘He needs to go.’ No one saw how malignant he was but her. He was a perverse fascination to everypony in the land, a compromised acquaintance to the elements of harmony; a dispensable burden to Celestia who spent an inordinate amount of time helping him, keeping her door open, ready to throw herself to take whatever arrow he pointed her way. Celestia always one obsessed with pleasing everypony, always winning the preening aggrandizement of the masses; as though she knew for a fact that deep down inside she was nothing but a sanctimonious hypocritical harlot overdue for a-

Luna stopped, as she gained a hold of her thoughts. What was she thinking? Her own momentum had slowed but whatever force pulled her towards the figure did not cease. She could not recognize who she was looking at now.

Nightmare Moon. “I was wrong!” She lamented into the uncaring void. “Please, not again!” As though this place heard her call, she stopped dead right in front of Nightmare Moon. This Nightmare Moon was different now that Luna had gotten a good look at her. No, a good look at it.

A wicked looking smile covered the thing’s face from ear to ear with glistening sharp teeth barely contained in her mouth. The hungry looking pin-pricks resembling pupils looked on aimlessly into the void. There was an unsettling degree of detail that made this rendition look malignant in a sense that could have only been perceived in TD’s world. It was then that Luna realized something was off. Nightmare moon’s coat was an obsidian black. This coat resembled her colors. This was not Nightmare Moon.

This was Luna. Luna observed it with unsettled wonderment, but the moment she dared touch it was when its eyes focused away from Luna.

Luna looked at what this bastardization of her form was staring at. It was TD as a child clutching his bruised fist under a spotlight. From behind him emerged a similarly mangled visage of Celestia who stared at Luna challengingly, placing a hoof on the boy’s shoulder.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Luna found herself back in the elevator, a noticeably disheveled TD leaning on the elevator wall.

“W-what was that?” Luna collected herself.

“Stream of thought.” He loosened his tie. “Merry Christmas”

Author's Note:

Yawn Oh! Why hello there. I didn't see you. I just had the most wonderful power nap in the year 2015, which is definitely now, and not four FUCKING years later. It would really suck if I just abandoned this fic all willy-nilly wouldn't it? What kind of a host would do such a thing. A catastrophically shambolic one I tell you.

But the short power nap that I took (that is definitely in the Obama presidency) made me aware of some fundamental truths. Namely, gee golly willikers: these non-brony fanfics I wrote are to the concept of literature what a human lung is to the vacuum of space. My god I really had no quality filter while jotting down this military grade hog-shit, did I?

During my brief power nap, I have come to realize and appreciate how cringy this whole project was. I never had any idea where these fics were going, they have no structure, and what little does work I am convinced I have plagiarized from far superior writers. But not to worry, I think that's something that every writer needs to go through to achieve some level of mastery over their craft. I like to think I have improved alot in the last fourteen minutes of sleep.

I remember when I started writing these things: the sparkle in my eye as I completely butchered the characters of Celestia, Luna and TD Harrison Powell, the paragraph long answers I wrote to every comment I got, the thought that this stuff was actually good written material, and thinking that I'm gonna write a whole sub-universe of non-brony fanfics, PRICELESS! Also, that awkward time frame when I named Celestia after a fucking pokemon region still gives me cringe pangs to this day.

I'm not saying I grew past ponies or bronywriter's work. Far from it! I just like to think I now look at it through a lens of maturity afforded to me by the fourteen minute power nap I took in 2015.

I owe you people some semblance of an apology for disappearing shortly in the year 2015 which is now. I swear.

So all that being said, would you still like me to finish this story? If there are still people out there who want an end to this mediocre saga, I'll put some hours and try to hammer out an end to this story. If not, I'll slap that coveted cancelled tag on and put an end to this chapter of my life.

Thank you for your time. Now if you'll excuse me, I feel energized! I'm going to go out for a jog in the year 2015, tell people it's 2015, and categorically deny anything contradicting that it is in fact 2015.

Savvy? Savvy!

Comments

[Emtu]

Why not humans? Miserable little piles of secrets, they were.

"But enough talk… Have at you!"